Apr. 1st, 2015

clevermanka: default (yoga)
I had too much on my plate yesterday to write about my fantastic experience during Monday's yoga practice, so y'all get the story today.

I am pretty good at balancing on one leg. I've always felt pretty stable in Vrkasnana. My biggest problem is that my foot tends to slide down the standing leg because fabric isn't grippy like flesh and fuck if I'm gonna expose my legs all the way to my crotch in yoga class. But last night in the privacy of my room, I rolled my pants to my groin for the pose. Why have I never tried this before? I was rock-fucking-solid to the point that I could make all sorts of adjustments (open up the hips more, pull that knee back, center more over the standing leg, don't let the standing hip jut out) while comfortably standing in the pose with my hands overhead.

It was amazing.

Once I settled into the pose I just gazed at myself in the mirror. I looked strong. I looked stable. I looked competent. I looked serene. Yes, I looked fleshy, soft, and bumpy, too. But that soft and bumpy flesh held me in a one-legged balance pose for so long that I lost count of my breaths.

So fuck you, social conditioning. Fuck you for imbedding in me so deeply a shame of my soft, bumpy, and wonderful flesh. What I saw in the mirror last night was beautiful and made me proud of myself.

My thighs can hold up the world. Or at least my part of it.
clevermanka: default (Hello Kitty Poops)
Two posts today--I'm posting the other one separately because it's happy and I want it to stand (ar ar ar--you'll get that later) on its own.

This is the kind of sucky post, which I'll post second so it'll show up on feeds first. That's weird, isn't it?

Anyway, I had another rough night with my tum. No excruciating pain, but just residual aching and soreness. Enough to keep me from falling into deep sleep. When I did sleep, I had discomforting dreams about medical stuff. Exams, nurses who obviously knew something was wrong but wouldn't tell me anything, frustration, anxiety, lots of blood. Not scary, but stressful.

Of course I was exhausted this morning, so I called in sick to work. I put together a yoga series for stomachache/indigestion and did that before making myself a banana/greens/ginger/chia smoothie*. I'm gonna see if a liquid diet today helps things calm down in there. Smoothies for me are kind of tricky--I'm not supposed to eat many raw foods. But I think my GI tract just needs a fucking break once in a while and now is one of those times.

For lunch I'm going to try making something with cooked carrot puree and maybe sauteed pineapple?

If I'm not feeling better tomorrow, well, I see Dr. Khosh on Friday and I can talk to him about this new(ish) development then.

221B Con is a week from tomorrow and damned if I don't do everything in my power to at least be back to my version of feeling good/normal by then.


* 1/2 banana, 1 big handful of greens, 2 T soaked chia seeds, 1/2 t powdered ginger, 1/2 c almond milk, 1 raw duck egg

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clevermanka

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