Apr. 2nd, 2015

Lightbulbs

Apr. 2nd, 2015 09:39 am
clevermanka: default (i am so happy!)
After reading this comment from [livejournal.com profile] sherwood21 about Monday night's yoga/body experience, I got a little choked up because it just makes me so happy when someone finds a good place for themselves about their body--especially in yoga, but with any physical activity, really. And then I read [livejournal.com profile] redheadfae's comment and I legitimately started to cry at my desk. Seriously, I am just barely holding it together here.

I love helping people discover joy and happiness in their bodies, y'all. I love it. Yesterday, [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick and I had a conversation about livelihoods and careers and we came to the conclusion that I prefer doing something different every day. This is...new. I'm not sure when it happened. I used to love routine and schedules and knowing exactly what I was going to be doing when. I still want reliability, but the idea of focusing on a different aspect of my job (if, say, my job was something nebulous, like "helping people discover joy and happiness in their bodies") would be ideal.

These little insights are helpful and also terrifying. Because no matter how some things shift and change in my internal landscape, I am still risk- and change-adverse.

I also had a realization about my latest stomach issues. I think it's the new supplements. We're weeding and seeding my gut flora, so it makes sense that I've got weirdness going on in there. I'm sure most people don't suffer debilitating pain, but Special Snowflake Me probably shouldn't have been taken by surprise. Of course my innards are going to hurt when they start changing. It would also explain the sweet cravings which (unfortunately) I gave into by purchasing a fresh pineapple on Tuesday. I didn't even think about the problems that might cause! As you might imagine, I've also got some considerable swelling going on.

So the pineapple's going into a pitcher for infused water and that's it. I'm cutting out all fruit (dried and fresh) for the next three days to see if that helps calm things down.

I might actually have done myself a disservice with yesterday's smoothies, but oh well, live and learn.

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clevermanka

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