clevermanka: default (srsly?)
I dreamed a butterfly landed on my face and spoke to me. It asked for a dollar.
clevermanka: default (bangbang)
Me and three other people (two of whom I know in real life, Sarah F and Matt J, not on LJ) were part of a special forces unit that was tough but technologically-inclined. Sort of like the Expendables, but nerdy. We'd been falsely accused of something (OF COURSE) and decided to retaliate by stealing some technology that would expose the organization.



Early in the dream, we were flying a tiny airplane out of the country (Sarah and the dude I don't know in real life were piloting) and my mom kept calling me. Now, I have this thing in real life where my phone doesn't reliably stay off. I'll turn it off and then it will spontaneously power up which is a bit of a stressor on actual plane flights, let me tell you. So anyway, I could not get the fucking thing to stop vibrating (I'd at least turned off the ringer) and finally I answered with a "Mom I'm really busy this is a bad time do you have an emergency" and she was all "No I just have this funny story." I told her to please just wait and I'd call back when I could.

Scene change to the inside of a tiny, foreign airport (must have been some tropical location because there were palm trees and ferns all over, even in the building). Matt J and I were carrying this piece of technology (it fit in a backpack) through the airport, trying to avoid security. We saw two of them talking like they'd just heard information and start looking around at people. So we hurried to find a place to hide, which was on top of this 10- or 12-foot partition. Matt J climbed up (he's a good climber in real life) and I threw the backpack up, then he helped me get up. There was just enough room for us to lie lined up flat on the top of the wall, with his head near my feet, the backpack between us. And my phone started vibrating again in my back pocket.

Now, Matt J is super cool and gets happy-excited about stuff, not often visibly upset or angry, but I could feel his annoyance radiating at me and I dream-remembered his irritation sitting in the other passenger seat of the tiny plane when my phone kept buzzing. There wasn't a thing I could do because the partition we were lying on was so narrow if I moved to get at my back pocket, my arm movement would have been visible past the edge of the partition. So I just lay there, hoping the noise of the airport would drown out the buzzing as these police passed us. STOP CALLING ME, MOM. JESUS.

It sounds stressful, but I was so amused by it I woke myself up smiling.

I picked up Muse's new album that dropped yesterday. I can say after six listens that it's...not as horrible as I'd feared? I'm a big, big Muse fan, but the single I'd heard a while back bothered me. The song itself is good, but the drill sergeant screaming put me off. Heard in the context of the whole album, it's not as awful, but it still sets me on edge. Which I know is the point, but I get less pleasure from listening to it. I also feel like the message of this album is surprisingly ham-fisted at this point in their careers. Lyrically, this feels like a first or second album, not a seventh. One of the things I love about Muse (apart from the fact that I think they're amazingly talented in all sorts of ways) is that they're still an album-oriented band and I love listening to albums that are a cohesive whole, where the sum is more than the parts. I know it's a dying art/technique and I'm not gonna lie that I'm disappointed in this latest effort from them. Sound-wise, it's great--gorgeously complex and bombastic, as always. Just a little too in-your-face. When I compare it to The Second Law, it just does not hold up. Maybe I'll feel better after I've listened to it more over the course of the next couple weeks. Is anyone else a Muse fan? D'you have thoughts about Drones yet?
clevermanka: default (changed priorities)
I had a dream last night that was exhausting.

I'm a lucid dreamer. I always know I'm dreaming. Most of the time I can direct the action, or re-wind it to try something else, or, if all else fails, just make myself wake up to escape it. But last night, ugh.

Last night I dreamed I was back in school, studying some sort of physiology science--anatomy, something like that. And it was awful. I hated being in school, I hated going to class, I hated doing the homework, I hated all of it. I hated it to the point where I stopped doing stuff, started missing assignments, failing tests, everything. I remember thinking "Why did you go back to school? You hated school, remember? Remember how you still get home from work in the evenings, thrilled at the fact that you don't have homework?" The whole thing was so depressing and tiring and I couldn't find a way out of the mess so I resigned myself to withdrawing from the program.

I was still upset about it when I woke up this morning because that is how much I hated being in school.

So that was maybe a message to consider about possible life choices.
clevermanka: default (Hello Kitty Poops)
Two posts today--I'm posting the other one separately because it's happy and I want it to stand (ar ar ar--you'll get that later) on its own.

This is the kind of sucky post, which I'll post second so it'll show up on feeds first. That's weird, isn't it?

Anyway, I had another rough night with my tum. No excruciating pain, but just residual aching and soreness. Enough to keep me from falling into deep sleep. When I did sleep, I had discomforting dreams about medical stuff. Exams, nurses who obviously knew something was wrong but wouldn't tell me anything, frustration, anxiety, lots of blood. Not scary, but stressful.

Of course I was exhausted this morning, so I called in sick to work. I put together a yoga series for stomachache/indigestion and did that before making myself a banana/greens/ginger/chia smoothie*. I'm gonna see if a liquid diet today helps things calm down in there. Smoothies for me are kind of tricky--I'm not supposed to eat many raw foods. But I think my GI tract just needs a fucking break once in a while and now is one of those times.

For lunch I'm going to try making something with cooked carrot puree and maybe sauteed pineapple?

If I'm not feeling better tomorrow, well, I see Dr. Khosh on Friday and I can talk to him about this new(ish) development then.

221B Con is a week from tomorrow and damned if I don't do everything in my power to at least be back to my version of feeling good/normal by then.


* 1/2 banana, 1 big handful of greens, 2 T soaked chia seeds, 1/2 t powdered ginger, 1/2 c almond milk, 1 raw duck egg
clevermanka: default (tasty ham)
Today's Tumblr collection is Tuesday, March 3: Ravens & Crows.

I finished typing up (and formatting and linking) all the yoga stuff. For those of you who were interested to see the sort of series of postures I use for home practice, here you go. I use Sanskrit names for poses almost all the time. I know most of them, but even the ones I don't, I look up and use those names. I think it's important to remember and respect the culture that gave us yoga and not westernize it too much. Just a small (and, for me, easy) way to avoid another cultural appropriation trap. I also link to a page that discusses the pose. I use Yoga Journal when I can, both for consistency and because I like their format. I use their suggested series often, just didn't last week. But I'll often just link to those and mention how I modified poses for myself when necessary rather than do individual links. Last week my body knew what poses it needed and I went with it.

Last night I dreamed about my job and...stuff going on in my job right now. I don't normally ascribe meaning to dreams (IMO, they're just brain vomit), but this one was pretty blatantly pointed. On campus there was a guy that took care of a lion. He'd taken care of it for years (on campus) and everyone knew not to bother the lion, who roamed around freely, but always in the company of this dude. I was in Strong Hall (the KU administrative building), leading a student around and I noticed the guy was gone and the lion was looking mangy and unhealthy and just really sad. I found out that the guy had died and the lion had nobody to take care of him. I approached the lion to see if it would accept me, and it did! It loved me! It would only take food from my hands and it followed me everywhere, being all lovey and affectionate. But I couldn't walk this student around campus everywhere with a lion in tow, so I had to decide if I was going to take care of the student, or this lion. I opted to care for the lion.

Hm.

I'm pleased that I slept well enough to dream last night. Woke only once (around 12:30) and was able to fall back asleep pretty readily. Today marks a week back on the previous levels of endocrine supplements. Hormones, man.

The new engine for the Chevelle arrives today. Yeah, remember when I said the engine was the only thing in the car that we were keeping? WELP. As [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick puts it, he basically bought me a kit car when he bought me the Chevelle. Here's the post where he goes on in detail in the comments about the new vs. old engines if you're interested.

I need to remember this sequence of yoga postures when I resume CrossFit.
clevermanka: default (ass2)
I didn't get to sleep until close to 11pm because I touched up my roots when I got home from work and that takes about six hours. Then I woke at 4:09am from a weird and stressful dream (see below) and couldn't fall back asleep. Decided to get up at 4:30. Got some clothes together and headed downstairs to shower. Only after my shower, and after [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick had relocated to my (quieter and more comfy) bedroom did I realize I'd grabbed the short leggings instead of the long ones, the tight knee-length skirt instead of the loose mid-thigh one, and (worst of all) no bra.



I'm gonna have to go upstairs soon to get at least the bra because going braless is incredibly uncomfortable for me. Ugh.

So, the dream: I was on a flight to no idea where, just it was an intercontinental flight on one of those giant planes with multiple stories. This one even had separate small rooms. Odd. Dreams, wtf. I got seated with my two companions (just dream people, nobody I know in waking life) and realized I'd left my leather jacket in the airport. I had a fit/breakdown because y'all, my leather jacket is really important to me. I bought it during my first trip to Chicago in the early 90s and of all the items of clothing in my wardrobe, it's the one that probably has the most of my character in it--not just because I've had it for so long. It's just...very me. It's a men's size small traditional biker jacket, and it's slightly too big for me, especially in the arms. I've never treated it (yet--I really need to), so the leather is worn and thin in several places. It looks tough and cozy at the same time and I just feel so good in it. It's gone to countless concerts, and has actually been on a couple (8+ hour) motorcycle trips. I can't find any pictures of me in it that show the full jacket, but here's probably my favorite picture of me while wearing it:

Look at that beautiful wear on the shoulders. All the seams are like that, and the arms and back are pretty weathered, too.

Man, I love that jacket.

So anyway, I left the jacket in the airport (along with my ticket, somehow, I have no idea, it was a dream) and I was begging the flight attendants to let me go back to get it. I was even willing to ditch the trip in order to get the jacket (and would probably do so in real life as well I am not kidding that jacket is hella important to me). I kept talking to person after person after person and I was getting so frustrated and exhausted that I decided there was no getting off this airplane or out of this dream in a satisfactory manner, so I woke myself up and then couldn't fall back asleep.



So I guess I've got a good head start on the day. I'll be at Steve's Meat Market in DeSoto to pick up the half cow right when they open at 8am. Yay.

And now I gotta go get a bra. Sorry, [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick
clevermanka: default (post-dance)
Woke up at 4am from a combo of being really hungry (I didn't have much of an appetite yesterday) and a nasty, violent dream (see subject line of post). Good times.

I was gonna try the rock climbing thing at the student rec center, but I think that's a little more ambitious than reasonable right now. Instead I'm gonna re-join Westside Yoga and hit at least the two evening classes on Thursdays. At 5:45 is a vinyasa flow class and then at 7:15 is a restorative class (which was great last time I took it). Westside Yoga has unlimited classes for $50 a month, so if I'm taking two classes a week, that's pretty cheap, even if I do have to drive way the fuck to the opposite side of town. To get that price, they require you to sign up for six months at a time, but for some reason I'm always more motivated to go to yoga classes in the winter, so that works fine for me.

So I'll have Sunday boxing, Tuesday tai chi, and Thursday yoga. Maybe by spring I can start lifting again. POSITIVE THINKING.

I almost cried again yesterday, twice, for different reasons/absolutely no reasons at all so that was frustrating. I am not a naturally emotional person ([livejournal.com profile] mckitterick is not the first person to refer to me as Spock or Vulcan), and constantly being under the weight of near-tears is so fucking annoying. I feel like I could cry right now for absolutely no other reason than I feel like I could cry right now for absolutely no reason.

Monday morning I go in for the usual blood tests and four new ones: HS-CRP, which measures general inflammation levels; IG-1, which measures stress--lifestyle stress, exercise stress, and calorie/nutrient depletion; Vitamin D levels, which if low can correlate to low testosterone and high cortisol; and oxygen saturation, which might be what's causing my chronic weakness, fatigue, and shortness of breath. That's gonna be, like, half a pint of blood. Sheesh. In my never-ending research (yes, I found out about and requested those myself--hurray for doctors who will run tests based on my own research but JFC I am tired of doing my own research), I found out about something called cytotoxic hypersensitivity which basically as far as I can tell means being allergic to everything in the world including oneself. I have no idea if this information is actually helpful or meaningful or could in any way lead to possible solutions to my health issues, but it's a new phrase to throw around and that's always fun. *eyeroll*

Did I tell you guys I'm on Twitter now? I don't tweet very often, just a warning. I use it as a sort of drive-by thing when I have something quick to say that doesn't warrant an LJ post. Things might pick up when I get a smart phone. Someday. Maybe. I'm actually a little worried about what I'll be like when I get a smart phone because GOD DAMN I LOVE THE INTERNET SO MUCH.
clevermanka: default (tombstone)


Uncertain about the efficacy/wisdom of yesterday's morning walk. I really enjoyed the walk itself, but by the time 1:00pm rolled around, I was too exhausted to go on my hourly walkabout. My legs were heavy and I needed a nap. This morning I woke at 4am from an uncomfortable dream, but managed to fall back asleep. I woke up at 5:45, which was not quite too late to go to the gym, but my body was just not having it. I barely made it out of bed in time to get ready for work, an hour later. Stupid fucking fatigue issues.

I need to get off my ass about getting seen at the Mayo clinc. The idea of that is so stressful, though. My insurance does work with the clinic in general (I called to check), but I have to make sure that each physician/specialist I see there also contracts with my insurance or the local Blue Cross provider and is a PPO provider. Ugh. I shall postpone thinking about that until after Comic-Con.

Tonight I need to run a bunch of errands so I don't have to go to the south side of town this weekend. For some reason I thought it would be a great idea to overschedule my last weekend before leaving for San Diego. Saturday morning I'm headed to Kansas City to see THe Latenight Callers do a brunch show at Record Bar. After that we're stopping at Costco to pick up some stuff (including new tires for one of our fleet of cars). Sunday I've got my session with Andrew and then it's henna time (which takes about six hours for me since I do that two-step process to get it black). I was supposed to do my three-week touch-up session the week I hurt my back. So I didn't do the front and top of my roots during the intervening weeks between the last full-head session and my roots are SO BAD Y'ALL. So bad. It's gonna take a lot of of henna and indigo to cover this shit. I'm mostly gray on top, now. Yeesh.

So if you wanna hear about the uncomfortable dream: The world was very Old West, with horses and hangings, etc. I was the leader of a rebel group (of course) who fought the Evil Government by saving other rebels and protesters from public execution (rather like the Merry Men saving Robin Hood from hanging). I happened on an impromptu hanging (don't you love those) of an old woman who was a librarian fighting censorship. I didn't have any backup, but I managed to save her anyway. I had to have one of the people I was traveling with hold my pet rat, though. He was A Very Good Rat and was slightly sentient and I often had to leave him alone when I went out to save people and I felt bad about that. Then the scene changed and I was in my home and found him in a drawer where he was sick and dying because I'd left him alone for too long and I felt like such a horrible person I had to wake myself up. I'm still feeling a lot of residual sadness for my dream rat. Enough that watching a video of something completely unrelated to rats or sick animals made me tear up.

And this is why I'll never have pets again.
clevermanka: default (post-dance)
Thank goodness I was able to fall back asleep when I returned to bed at 4:30, and slept until 8:30! I'm pretty groggy, though, and my abdomen is swollen like whoa. I really really really want to make it to the gym today, though. It opens for faculty/staff use in about an hour and then closes again at 1:00. We'll see what happens.

I had an amazing dream in my second sleep session of the night.

Surprisingly enough, I was working at a Renaissance fair (I know, right?), and there was a collection of Victorian automatons in a glass case (no idea). One of the automatons was a rather menacing looking man with a black moustache and another was a little boy who looked very unhappy and scared of black moustache man. I opened the sliding door of the case to let the boy out. He told me that he wanted to get away from black moustache man and would I help him. So I held his hand and we ran out of the museum. The little boy told me that black moustache man was programmed to hunt and look for him, so we would have a hard time getting away. We were able to hide for a little while among the other festival workers. I spent a lot of time texting a friend of mine, trying to arrange a getaway, but we couldn't hook up with each other because the messages kept failing to send.

Eventually black moustache man spotted us and we ran out to the parking lot. We got in my car (the Crossfire) and drove maybe halfway out of the parking lot when the engine started making a horrible noise. Mechanical boy and I ditched the Crossfire and got in the Saab, which inconveniently had the top down so we were quite visible. There wasn't any time to waste, though, so I started up the Saab (no idea why I had both sets of keys on me--OH DREAMS) and we drove away as quickly as possible. Which is pretty damn slow in the Saab, I gotta say. In the dream it was almost comical.

The rest of the dream was an increasingly stressful series of me and mechanical boy (who slowly morphed into a human girl) evading black moustache man who had enlisted the help of the FBI. At one point we were at a ratty, small-town, home-studio-style hair salon--the kind that have old ladies getting perms all day--having our hair dyed for disguises. Black moustache man and the FBI arrived, but we were barely able to sneak out the back door. However, our car (a Toyota Camry at this point, since I'd started stealing more common cars and then ditching them on a regular basis) was parked out front so we had to literally run.

It was at this stage that I decided I'd had enough stress from this particular dream and woke myself up.
clevermanka: default (Default)
Thank goodness I was able to fall back asleep when I returned to bed at 4:30, and slept until 8:30! I'm pretty groggy, though, and my abdomen is swollen like whoa. I really really really want to make it to the gym today, though. It opens for faculty/staff use in about an hour and then closes again at 1:00. We'll see what happens.

I had an amazing dream in my second sleep session of the night.

Surprisingly enough, I was working at a Renaissance fair (I know, right?), and there was a collection of Victorian automatons in a glass case (no idea). One of the automatons was a rather menacing looking man with a black moustache and another was a little boy who looked very unhappy and scared of black moustache man. I opened the sliding door of the case to let the boy out. He told me that he wanted to get away from black moustache man and would I help him. So I held his hand and we ran out of the museum. The little boy told me that black moustache man was programmed to hunt and look for him, so we would have a hard time getting away. We were able to hide for a little while among the other festival workers. I spent a lot of time texting a friend of mine, trying to arrange a getaway, but we couldn't hook up with each other because the messages kept failing to send.

Eventually black moustache man spotted us and we ran out to the parking lot. We got in my car (the Crossfire) and drove maybe halfway out of the parking lot when the engine started making a horrible noise. Mechanical boy and I ditched the Crossfire and got in the Saab, which inconveniently had the top down so we were quite visible. There wasn't any time to waste, though, so I started up the Saab (no idea why I had both sets of keys on me--OH DREAMS) and we drove away as quickly as possible. Which is pretty damn slow in the Saab, I gotta say. In the dream it was almost comical.

The rest of the dream was an increasingly stressful series of me and mechanical boy (who slowly morphed into a human girl) evading black moustache man who had enlisted the help of the FBI. At one point we were at a ratty, small-town, home-studio-style hair salon--the kind that have old ladies getting perms all day--having our hair dyed for disguises. Black moustache man and the FBI arrived, but we were barely able to sneak out the back door. However, our car (a Toyota Camry at this point, since I'd started stealing more common cars and then ditching them on a regular basis) was parked out front so we had to literally run.

It was at this stage that I decided I'd had enough stress from this particular dream and woke myself up.
clevermanka: default (Default)
I dreamed that I was reading a fic. Let me just repeat that: I DREAMED. THAT I WAS READING. A FIC. And then? I dreamed that I was lifting weights. I DREAMED. THAT I WAS LIFTING. WEIGHTS. And then I had a dream that I was some sort of fixer-person, only totally on the up-and-up. I worked for a company that would send us to people's houses to open and air them out after an extended absence--so, like, lake houses/cabins and vacation properties that aren't occupied most of the year. My co-worker was a very young Tom Hiddleston (the blonde, curly-haired era) and absolutely nothing sexy happened beyond me looking at his butt while he stood on a chair and fixed a curtain rod.



What Your Taste in Music Says About You (On a Date). Hmmm. Speaking for myself only (of course), some of these are pretty spot on. Others...not so much.

So it turned out that the other secretary was already planning to take off Thursday and Friday this week. My hooky day has been postponed to Monday. Ah well.

Lifting yesterday went okay. Turns out my body is maintaining a consistent level of exhaustion no matter how hard it's working, so if I can manage to push myself to exercise, I don't feel any more tired than I already did, so yay?
clevermanka: default (Default)
Woke at 2am. Attempted sleep again at 5:45a. Took a long time to fall asleep, but I eventually did because the fucking steam whistle woke me at 7:50 (non-locals, KU has an enormously loud steam whistle that goes off every hour or so to mark the end of classtimes. You can hear it within a couple miles of campus, and it's definitely quite clear and audible as close as we live to campus. Some people love it. Most of us sane and rational people absolutely hate it. So despite getting only about five hours of sleep last night, I won't be able to take longer than an hour-long nap today. Because that fucking whistle's going to blow every hour at ten 'til. What god damned idiot forgot to turn off the whistle for the holiday? HAVE HIM SHOT IMMEDIATELY.

So I'm tired. And irritable.

I've never been tempted to buy someone a Kickstarter pledge for xmas, but look at this. Unless you're [personal profile] mckitterick. DON'T LOOK, MCKITTERICK.

This makes me a terrible person, but when I read this story, my first thought was "You go, girl. Four for you, girl." The situation screams "alcoholic," I know. But...damn. I'M IMPRESSED BY STAMINA, OKAY?

The show yesterday went great. Like, really great. The weather was cooler, it stopped raining in the late morning, the audience was appreciative and engaged...all in all, an incredibly good show for such a small group. The changes this year (no smoking, less stuff for your money) are gonna make a big difference in our ticket sales, no doubt about it. But if most of the audiences are like the one we had yesterday, it won't be so bad.

I wound up with a number of mosquito or chigger bites, though. I can't tell which--I react the same to both. I've never had a problem with them in previous years, but it looks like I'm gonna have to hose down with bug spray from now on. YUCK.

Holy crap am I unmotivated to do anything today. Gotta make the most out of the fact that I have a day to do all the stuff I need to do on the weekends, though. Off to do laundry, clean the kitchen, and scrub the bathrooms. HUZZAH.

Oh! I almost forgot. I took a nap late Sunday morning between [profile] msmitti leaving and when I had to get ready for the show. I dreamed about Fetish. No plot or anything, just incredibly vivid sensation memories of how her fur smelled, her purr, and how her fur felt when I rubbed my face in her belly. I woke up so sad and heartbroken and lonely for my cat. God, I miss her so much. It still physically hurts to remember her too much.

Ah! And i must be tired to have forgotten this. On Sunday, Danielle and Theresa were in attendance at Event-Formerly-Known-As-Smoker. They gave [profile] nottygypsy enough dollars to give me a Money Shower! Eeeeeeeeeeee! IT WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU. This is the darling couple who gifted me with the Lady Gaga ticket earlier this year. Best. Fans. Ever.
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
This morning's dream:

I lived in an enormous house/apartment in a big city. Basically, it was one of those brownstones that'd been converted into a single-family dwelling. The top floor was a giant library with roof access where we had a garden. My family was a chosen-family type thing, and we were all a bunch of freaks with various borderline-magical powers. Mine was communicating with animals, but the animals weren't anthropomorphized at all.

The top-floor library looked like something out of a Harry Potter movie. All rich fabrics and carpets with crazy-tall bookshelves and beautiful leather-bound books. Soft, indirect lighting, and enough dust/haze to make it romantic and dreamy but not stuffy or oppressive. The ceiling was incredibly high--at least 20 feet. I'm pretty sure there was more than one story. It might have been magical itself--a bigger on the inside sort of thing.

We had recently taken in two pre-teen girls who were having a hard time adjusting to the fact that they weren't normal, one especially. She kept insisting she was a character from a fairy tale. While I was attempting to calm her down, a dove flew into the library from one of the open windows. I caught it and tried to figure out why it came in. It was severely distressed, but I couldn't see anything wrong. It was flapping in a panic and I couldn't figure out what it needed, so I went to the window to let it go.

When I returned to the girls, I told them that fairy tales aren't real, but sometimes magic can be. Then I noticed blood on my fingers and ran up to the roof to try to get the dove to come back for treatment.

While I was out on the roof, an enormous bear came barreling toward me. My reaction was more "oh not this shit again" than it was "holy shit bear on the roof" so this must have been a fairly common thing. It was not, however, a good thing, and I ran back into the library screaming for the matriarch of the house to come help with the bear who was going to go on a rampage in the library. I woke up to my voice in my head screaming "The bear! The bear!"

Really wish the light from my alarm had waited a bit longer to wake me. I would have liked to see how that one played out.
clevermanka: default (made-up 2)
Sooo, I had another sexy dream that totally did not involve Tom Hiddleston. Click for saucy dream and some gifs )
clevermanka: default (winter)
Sunday night I finally had a dream with Tom Hiddleston in it. Like Real Life, though, things went off the rails pretty much right from the start and the whole thing ended in shambles.

The dream:
This was some sort of alternate universe where the events of Thor never happened, although Loki knew he was a Frost Giant, but everyone was pretty okay with it. Kind of. Most of the time. Anyway, Loki and I were married and had a baby daughter, but that was all background. The dream opened with Asgard being invaded by some army (I have no idea who, not Frost Giants), and a whole bunch of the main Asgardian players were taken prisoner. Pretty much everyone in the royal house except me and Thor were gone. The war went on for eight or ten years and nobody gained ground. Asgardian morale was eventually in the pits because dude, everybody's gone and families are mourning for ten fucking years, etc. It was very sad and angsty.

Eventually, someone from the enemy camp came to me in secret and said that they would give me a potion that, if I drank it, would make some magic that would allow Thor to find their weak spot and defeat them and bring all the prisoners home. How did I transfer this knowledge? I had to have sex with Thor. Of course. So I had sex with Thor. Not Loki. WHAT THE FUCK, DREAM BRAIN? COME ON. Once we had sex, Thor figured out how to defeat the enemy. I couldn't tell him this was the plan though, he had to just be willing to have sex with his brother's wife, which added an extra nasty layer to the later developments.

Thor then led a contingent to defeat the enemy and brought everyone home in short order. Nobody had aged except the kids, so now my baby girl was ten years old and didn't know me and it was all very emotional. A big group of us were gathered in a room, seeing each other for the first time in a decade and I clung to our daughter because I couldn't face my husband and I didn't know if I was going to tell him how we figured out how to defeat the enemy. I knew he would eventually find out, though, and our marriage probably wouldn't survive, not to mention destroy his relationship with Thor. Eventually I looked over at him and I could tell by his expression that he knew something was wrong. He walked over to me and held out his hand. I went down on my knees in front of him, held his hand to my face and started to cry.

Then I woke up because I was so sad that my chest and throat hurt bad enough to wake me.



So THANKS, DREAM BRAIN. Thanks for giving me another emo dream where I have sex with the wrong guy.

In continuing emo news, have a wonderful Sherlock vid, done to Adele's theme for Skyfall.


New Tumblr collection today. Tuesday, December 11: Gowns.
clevermanka: default (bouncybed)
Something in my brain/body is changing. I'm dreaming, regularly, for the first time in my adult life. The dreams aren't always pleasant, and sometimes they wake me up, but I am so fascinated and charmed by the fact that I am dreaming every night that I don't mind. Perhaps I'll get to the point where I keep a notebook by the bed to record them, but right now I'm just happy to be dreaming. It's amazing.

clevermanka: default (made-up 2)
Here is the post I would have put up yesterday if Tumblr hadn't been down most of the day:

I've been having dreams lately, which is kind of weird, but awesome. I don't always remember them, but I know I've been dreaming. I do remember this one from a few nights ago, though, because it was very odd and a teensy bit disappointing. I dreamed I was in a relationship with David Tennant. WTF, brain? David Tennant? *sigh* Not even in my dreams can I get Tom Hiddleston. It was all very emo because he was trying to shield me from the press but we were SO IN LOVE and there was this magic jewelry box involved that was a jewelry box that I'd had as a child (it looked like a pirate treasure chest and played a really pretty song) and I woke up from it with my heart hurting in that gloriously angsty way. It was kind of awesome even if it was David Tennant. At least he has lovely eyes and a spectacular nose. But he's still David Tennant.

I kid! The man is adorable and is totally my type if I wasn't already smitten with Tom Hiddleston.

Fellow Sherlockians, check out this Tumblr post and listen to the sound clip. PRICELESS. I laughed so hard I cried.

And here is something everyone can enjoy. DJ Schmolli's mashup "Titanium 500" (The Proclaimers vs. David Guetta feat. Sia vs. Midnight Oil).

My best advice for today? Go to this website. Totally safe, no porn, no viruses. It's amazing.

Long day in KC today. Time to get moving!
clevermanka: default (bouncybed)
It's been a while since I remembered a dream, and it's been a long time since I had a dream like this one. For those who don't know, I have crazy dreams. At least the ones I remember are pretty weird. And awesome. Not only are the subjects usually pretty freaky, but sometimes the formatting is wonderfully weird. Once I dreamed in comic book strips where I had to actually read the word balloons. As a kid, I regularly dreamed in animation. Sometimes I dream in black and white, or sepia, or sometimes everything is different shades of a color. When I was taking sign language classes, I dreamed conversations in sign. Anyway. This dream!

It was a musical. This used to happen when I was a kid, too. Lots of Disney-type musicals, with big orchestral numbers and everything. This morning's dream was a little more tame, with just one or two people singing at a time. Except they weren't people--they were stop-motion animation animals with mouths that moved appropriately, like the animals in Babe. The plot was about some sort of evil...someone? I don't know...trying to take over the animal's town (they were very anthropomorphized, to the point of wearing clothes). And it was up to this girl mouse/weasel (I'm not sure which--most of the characters were of a relative size, regardless of what animal they were) to save the day. There were big chase scenes, and drama and intrigue, and the girl mouse/weasel's lover was killed I think, because I remember feeling really sad for her at one point. Then at the end of the dream, little girl mouse/weasel was riding in a horse-drawn carriage (the horses must have been larger) with one of the other main characters and they were singing and everyone was really happy. I was so charmed that I broke the fourth wall and reached out to grab girl mouse/weasel's paw. I didn't see it externally--it was like a first-person shooter game where I saw my arm come out to reach for her. She seemed surprised but pleased, and she grabbed my hand and kept singing.

And then I decided it couldn't get any better than that, so I woke up.

Man, my dreams are awesome.

Buzz

Sep. 13th, 2011 08:48 am
clevermanka: default (bouncybed)
In the wee hours of this morning, I had a dream where an enormous stinging-type insect landed on my hand. It was big enough to cover nearly the entire back of my hand and had four compound eyes. Its feet had small barbs, and those, along with the vibrations of its buzzing, were uncomfortable. I kept trying to wake myself before it stung me*, but I was so deep asleep that I just couldn't do it. It was frustrating and I kept getting more anxious, waiting for the sting. I had to revert to my usual tactic when I can't wake myself from a dream, which is to physically shake myself and take a deep breath. To an observer, this probably looks like me being shocked awake from a bad dream. So, poor [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick. Sorry, honey. It really was just a big bee. Nothing awful.

I lay awake for a while, then gave up and got out of bed at 3:20. I never did manage to get more sleep. It's going to be a long day.


*I'm always aware of the fact that I'm dreaming. I don't remember ever having a non-lucid dream.
clevermanka: default (bouncybed)
I had a horrible, heartbreaking dream this morning where basically I was a terrible person behaving in repulsive ways to people I love. It was awful. I still feel gross and sticky about it.

I woke up hoping that it was still middle-of-the-night because it was so dark. Then I realized my eyes were still closed. When I opened them, the light coming in the window (and my clock) said it was almost 6:00 a.m. and I might as well get up.

Then I noticed that I was cramping kinda bad, so I'm trying to start my period, I guess. I had some crazy chills and a headache, too. I got ready for work, bundled up on the couch and shivered until I absolutely had to get up or be late for work.

One of the other secretaries called in sick, so it's a good thing I didn't cave and crawl back to bed. I'm exhausted (didn't get to bed until after 11:00 last night), and really looking forward to my nap this afternoon. Good god. It's not even ten o'clock yet?

Unless I am on death's doorstep (or feel unsafe to drive because of exhaustion), I still plan to attend tonight's Zumba class.

Rawr.

Update: Strike that rawr. I actually feel worse after my nap. The headache has spread to the back of my head and moved down to the left side of my face so my teeth on that side are a little tender. Bummer. If we weren't already down one secretary today, I would so be going home.

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