clevermanka: default (sin like you mean it)
Reasons to get down. Reasons to jump around.

I'm on week four of tracking my energy levels. It's been an interesting experiment. I don't know if my increasing energy is actually increasing, or if I'm able to better notice that I have more good days (than I thought?) by recording them, or a combination, or maybe the journaling has forced me to have a better attitude, or or or ...but things have improved.



So that encouraging! I still have low days, but I'm gonna have low days and that's just life. I'm considering decreasing or ceasing my sessions and supplements from Dr. Jonah for a couple months to see how I feel. That would be a lot of money (and time). The few weeks I've taken off from driving to KC every week has, perhaps, helped my energy level increase. The hormonal supplements from Dr. Khosh will remain very much in my daily use, though. I've seen what happens when I go off those and it's not fun.

I leave for Indianapolis tonight to visit the folks for a few days, so I won't be around much until Sunday. Ciao, bellas.
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
HOME.

Not kidding, I teared up a little bit when [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick and I walked in the house last night. The house smelled a little stale, but man, so good to be home. I-70 from KC to Indianapolis is terrible. It was bad when I used to do it regularly ten years ago, but it's only gotten worse. Two construction zones in every state, standstill traffic on the interstate there and back, and even more semi-trucks than there used to be. Ugh. Just awful. Seriously reconsidering driving the Chevelle out there when it's done. I think that would just be miserable and nerve-wracking.

Had a good time while we were there, at least! The Dream Cars exhibit at the IMA was beautiful. Then on Saturday we went to the Indy 500 museum. [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick did the full tour with Daddy the day before while I hung out a bit with Mommy. They have a program where you can drive around the track, but they also have one where you can drive around a smaller inner track in a super car (not an Indycar or stock car). I want to do it (because they had at least a Ferrari and a Lamborghini that we saw), but I can't find the option on their website.

Sadly, Mommy's understanding of "I want to go thrifting" meant "I want to hit the two Goodwills closest to you in the two hours we have before you have to get back to the house to start dinner." *sadface* At least that let me get a nap in?

Really not sure I'm up to making that drive again, though, ever, under any circumstances.

I've admired this artist's plushies for ages and she's having a sale right now. I'm gonna order a Fraser/RayK pair.

Because I can't put up a post without some reference to physical self-care, have some tips on keeping your thoracic spine healthy with foam-rolling (beware of annoying auto-load video).

I would very much like a print of this guy's artwork.

I spent some glorious time making my mermaid self.

Either my swelling issues are out of control (again), or I've been putting on some major weight in the past couple weeks. I'm not letting myself get too worried about it yet, but when I return from Con*Strict I'm going to start a food journal to make sure I'm not mindlessly eating. Since my movement is going to be restricted until my labrum heals (I'm not even supposed to walk too much for godssake), I can't afford to be taking in calories I'm not burning.

Speaking of my health, I mentioned to my mom about my menstrual issues (she was a nurse) and she said she'd be shocked if I didn't have uterine fibroids from the symptoms I listed. So that's...depressing but not surprising. Tomorrow I'll make an appointment with my PCP to talk about that. But that's also an after-Con*Strict thing because I don't feel like (psychologically and emotionally) dealing with it before and also the chances of my getting an appointment before Thursday are slim to none.

Today I have to do all the things I usually do on the weekends (grocery shopping, food prep, laundry), color my roots, put the jerky for my trip in the dehydrator, and I'd like to make at least one more tee shirt tank dress. We'll see. I also have to not exhaust myself. My energy levels in Indy were pretty low.

Also I am never going to catch up on my tumblr dash and I am okay with that. Paging through what I could, I made peace with the fact that this was the year Tom Hiddleston and Channing Tatum were both at San Diego Comic Con. I'm telling myself it's just as well I went last year. If I'd gone this year I'd have been motivated to make An Agenda instead of letting myself float along with a whatever-happens-happens attitude.

clevermanka: default (circus)
Random memory:

I was singing along to a CD while my mom was visiting (we were doing something in my apartment kitchen) and I forgot that there was a lyric with "fuck" in it until I was in the act of singing it. Fumbling over the word would've been painfully obvious, so I just kept singing and neither of us have ever acknowledged to each other that it happened. It's been more than twenty years.

clevermanka: default (made-up 2)
Okay, well, I got almost nine hours of sleep Thursday night. Went to bed at 10p, woke at 4a, but thought I might be able to go back to sleep so I just lay quiet and I must've fallen back asleep because I woke up for good at 7a. GO TEAM. This morning I woke at 3:45a and couldn't get back to sleep. Well, at least I got nearly six hours.

This post came across my dash a few days ago, and I can't stop wondering--is that the back of the KU Student Union? It sure looks like it. I sure want it to be.

Hopes for today's productivity = HIGH. We're doing boxing this morning (changed our boxing day to Saturday because Sunday just was not working), and then I'm gonna sew my mom's xmas present. After that I can pack up and ship off my family's holiday gifts and I am done for the gift-buying for this year. [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick's stuff is already wrapped and under the tree. AW YISS.

I used to always have my holiday shopping done before T-day and it feels good to be slowly moving back to that. December is such a nightmare for me at work, and the weather is usually awful too, so it's a great thing to have that one task off my list before the month even starts. Anyone else like to get their holiday stuff done really early? Anyone else actually get their holiday stuff done really early?

And now, my current fave mash-up.

You're welcome.
clevermanka: default (post-dance)
Camp Nerd Fitness. The idea of camping horrifies me, but I can't deny everyone there seems to be having an awesome time.

I kind of want everything on this page by Katy Bowman, director of the Restorative Exercise Institute.

Today's Tumblr collection is Tuesday, October 14: Ghosts.

Okay, so family stories. Click for mildly depressing anecdotes )

Oh, so yeah, that local hippie craft sale thing is this Sunday at Frank's North Star Tavern from 4pm to 8pm. The past couple of these I've attended have been cool, and there's a wide assortment of cool stuff: homemade jams (which I'm told are delicious and the woman who makes them is a doll), funky terrariums, outsider art, beaded jewelry (of course) and a whole assortment of crafty stuff that was made with love by probably very high people. Come join us!
clevermanka: default (post-dance)
Sunday was a pretty crap day.

During the conversation with my dad to wish him Happy Father's Day I realized this was just another chalk mark to our tally of increasingly boring and stilted conversations. My dad used to be a really interesting person and although we never had much in common, I always loved hearing his stories. Now he has nothing to say to me and I don't know why. I have my suspicions (he doesn't approve of my politics, the church is his life now and he knows I'm not interested in hearing about Jesus, he recognizes on some level that I don't hold him in the same esteem that I used to), but I don't know for sure and it's not worth my asking to find out why.

At my session with Andrew, I called it quits before our scheduled end. I couldn't do the last set of the movement we were working on. After two of three sets, I said "I can't do another set of those" and sat down. It was the first time I've ever done that. I have always finished every set. Even if I had to go down weight. Even if we ran over time. Even if it took a little more than I had. I always finished. Yesterday was a first and it wasn't what I'd consider a good one.

I lost my shit at [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick and behaved in a super inappropriate manner, putting him in a bad place and not helping the situation at all.

At least I got part of my costume for Friday's show revamped. It looks great. I got to hang out with someone I haven't seen in a while while I was working on it, so that was nice.

The rest of the day was wretched, though. And I was so tired. Even during the good parts. Ugh.

Yesterday was marginally better.

And this morning I felt good enough to go to the gym.

Today's Tumblr is Tuesday, June 17: Well-Written Women.
clevermanka: default (Fetish nose-to-nose)
[livejournal.com profile] mckitterick is at a local SF con this weekend and I'm enjoying the time alone in the house. I've had a wonderful evening of loud music and porn, but as I was getting ready for bed I had an overwhelming moment of grief for missing my Fetish girl that nearly brought me to tears.

God damn it I still miss my cat like she was here yesterday.

napping
clevermanka: default (ass2)
On Friday, I listened to the new Jason Derulo CD on YouTube because I wanted to preview it before buying. I listened to it about six times, went home, played it (again on YouTube) for [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick (twice), then drove to Target first thing on Saturday morning to buy their special Target-only edition with two extra tracks. You guys this album is just so horribly, delightfully awful. And then I found this.



So that was about ten billion shades of fantastic.

I leave on Thursday to visit the family in Indy. It's going to be an interesting and no doubt educational visit. I think I mentioned that Nana's back surgery didn't go well and the doctor said she probably wouldn't walk again. So now she needs care 24/7 which is why the parents aren't coming to visit me this time, as planned. So that's going to be interesting. My parents are amazing people for continuing to care for her instead of putting her in an assisted care facility. I hope they know (like, really, really know) I am not that amazing of a person and I will not be doing the same for them. Seriously. No.

After I return from Indiana, I'm taking time off work to get stuff done on the Chevelle and make necessary additions/creations/adjustments to a couple dance costumes so they're appropriate for the Czar Bar show in June. I also might need to, you know, start practicing to my music. *cough*

I also gotta get to work on the Coriolanus costume for Comic Con because Robin ordered our plane tickets today and OH MY FUCKING GOD WE ARE GOING TO San Diego Comic Con.



A couple weeks ago I made the decision to pay someone to make me the armor portions, including the bracers and scabbard. So all (all!) I need to do is buy fingerless gloves, make trousers, and find a knit shirt for underneath. Probably two shirts since I plan to wear it more than one day. Oh, and those green socks. At least I don't have to worry about finding boots! And I'm very glad that I realized ten seconds into the show that I was gonna make this costume because well-lit screenshots of his full costume from the first act are pretty much non-existent.

But anyway, yeah, there's my summer. Going to Indy, getting ready for the performance, working on the car, working on a costume, going to SDCC, working on the car some more, hopefully getting it to the point where I can drive it to St. Louis to get the stereo installed by fall, and then it's September and hoo-fucking-ray I don't have to prep for KCRF.



Finally, seen (and posted) on Tumblr today:

clevermanka: default (Fetish nose-to-nose)
Today is not a good day for me, friends. January 28, 2011 I euthanized my beloved baby kitty girl, Fetish.

I have no appetite, despite going to bed hungry last night (didn't eat enough for dinner, but didn't want to eat past 9pm). The idea of food is revolting to me but my body is so hungry I'm sick to my stomach. I'm even suffering that hunger -->nausea --> vagus nerve trigger that makes me sneeze constantly (does this happen to anyone else here? it's not uncommon). I'm getting ready to force down some breakfast but UGH. These are the only circumstances I'm ever tempted to ditch Paleo style eating because a bowl of grits and butter would go down a lot easier than this beef and cabbage soup I have sitting in front of me.

I dreamed about her last night. And now I am sad.

So that's where I am today.
clevermanka: default (Default)
Today is not a good day for me, friends. January 28, 2011 I euthanized my beloved baby kitty girl, Fetish.

I have no appetite, despite going to bed hungry last night (didn't eat enough for dinner, but didn't want to eat past 9pm). The idea of food is revolting to me but my body is so hungry I'm sick to my stomach. I'm even suffering that hunger -->nausea --> vagus nerve trigger that makes me sneeze constantly (does this happen to anyone else here? it's not uncommon). I'm getting ready to force down some breakfast but UGH. These are the only circumstances I'm ever tempted to ditch Paleo style eating because a bowl of grits and butter would go down a lot easier than this beef and cabbage soup I have sitting in front of me.

I dreamed about her last night. And now I am sad.

So that's where I am today.
clevermanka: default (withMcKitterick)
Xmas was lovely this year--as it has been ever since I convinced [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick that it was perfectly fine and acceptable to spend the day with just the two of us together, no company, no family, no nothing, just us not getting out of pajamas (unless, it's to, you know, get naked together) and spending the day boozing and lounging and eating ourselves stupid. Just so so SO incredibly nice.

The boy really came through in the gift department this year. I mean, he is aces at gift-buying for me anyway, but this year was especially spectacular. The two toppers: A radar detector for the Chevelle, along with the promise that the car will be on the road for spring (*insert fistpump here*) and he bought me a second subwoofer. OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. Our stereo system is gonna sound so incredibly amazing. Man, our neighbors are gonna hate us.



Best. Partner. Ever.

A few days ago, a friend of mine asked about frenemies (not in one of my posts, in one of hers) and I said I'd never had a frenemy. I don't have the time, energy, or inclination for them. But I am frenemies with a few things. Things I love but hate, things I love to hate, things I want to love but can't because hate. And of course some things can be a combination of the three.

These things are:

Narnia.

Contemporary dance.


Joss Whedon.

Paleo-fied foods. In the interests of full disclosure, I need to state that I actually made these yesterday and Jesus Fucking Christ on a Cracker they were so God Damned Good I nearly made myself sick on them. Just...HOLY CHRIST. But nearly making myself sick on them involved eating only two. They're that rich.

In other news, today I figured out how to 1) Make the black outlined gif text in Photoshop. Wow, that was a lot harder than I thought it would be (I mean, it's not difficult, but like everything else in Photoshop, it's just so fucking arcane) and then 2) How to insert a reaction gif in a Tumblr photo post without the reaction gif showing up as a gray box. Also ridiculously tedious. And then [livejournal.com profile] aprilstarchild recommended I install xkit, so I did that and we'll see how that helps my Tumblr experience.

All that effort was so I could do this and I think we can agree that was Time Well Spent.

And now I'm waiting for the mail to arrive.
clevermanka: default (Default)
Xmas was lovely this year--as it has been ever since I convinced [personal profile] mckitterick that it was perfectly fine and acceptable to spend the day with just the two of us together, no company, no family, no nothing, just us not getting out of pajamas (unless, it's to, you know, get naked together) and spending the day boozing and lounging and eating ourselves stupid. Just so so SO incredibly nice.

The boy really came through in the gift department this year. I mean, he is aces at gift-buying for me anyway, but this year was especially spectacular. The two toppers: A radar detector for the Chevelle, along with the promise that the car will be on the road for spring (*insert fistpump here*) and he bought me a second subwoofer. OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. Our stereo system is gonna sound so incredibly amazing. Man, our neighbors are gonna hate us.



Best. Partner. Ever.

A few days ago, a friend of mine asked about frenemies (not in one of my posts, in one of hers) and I said I'd never had a frenemy. I don't have the time, energy, or inclination for them. But I am frenemies with a few things. Things I love but hate, things I love to hate, things I want to love but can't because hate. And of course some things can be a combination of the three.

These things are:

Narnia.

Contemporary dance.


Paleo-fied foods. In the interests of full disclosure, I need to state that I actually made these yesterday and Jesus Fucking Christ on a Cracker they were so God Damned Good I nearly made myself sick on them. Just...HOLY CHRIST. But nearly making myself sick on them involved eating only two. They're that rich.

Joss Whedon.

In other news, today I figured out how to 1) Make the black outlined gif text in Photoshop. Wow, that was a lot harder than I thought it would be (I mean, it's not difficult, but like everything else in Photoshop, it's just so fucking arcane) and then 2) How to insert a reaction gif in a Tumblr photo post without the reaction gif showing up as a gray box. Also ridiculously tedious. And then [personal profile] aprilstarchild recommended I install xkit, so I did that and we'll see how that helps my Tumblr experience.

All that effort was so I could do this and I think we can agree that was Time Well Spent.

And now I'm waiting for the mail to arrive.
clevermanka: default (Fetish on lap)
The people who did this study never observed my Fetish Girl when I would come home from work. Or try to do yoga. Or sew. Or do anything else in the house ever. If anyone had told me that Fetish wasn't emotionally attached to me, I don't know that I would have punched them in the face (although it would have been a possibility), but I would have gotten a good laugh out of it.

God I still miss her so much. Like, prickly feelings in my eyes when I think about her. It's coming up on three years since her death, but I still have moments of crushing grief if I let myself reminisce too much. And people wonder why I absolutely refuse to get another pet. NO. Just no.

In also JUST NO news, there is a shit-storm of well-deserved fangirl wrath raining down on Caitlin Moran right now. She behaved like a horrid person at the Sherlock Season 3 premiere, and continues to act like an asshole despite world-wide protests and call-outs. Does it sound horribly arrogant and petty to say "Nyah nyah, I never liked her from the start!" because I really, REALLY didn't. I felt like there was something off and fake about her from day one and although it's sad the way she showed her true colors, I can't help feeling just a teensy bit smug for never jumping on her bandwagon. She's a sadistic bully and I want to wash her mouth with soap every time she claims the Feminist label. Because FUCK YOU, Caitlin. You are a bad feminist if you are a feminist at all.
clevermanka: default (Default)
The people who did this study never observed my Fetish Girl when I would come home from work. Or try to do yoga. Or sew. Or do anything else in the house ever. If anyone ever told me that Fetish wasn't emotionally attached to me, I don't know that I would have punched them in the face (although it would have been a possibility), but I would have gotten a good laugh out of it.

God I still miss her so much. Like, prickly feelings in my eyes when I think about her. It's coming up on three years since her death, but I still have moments of crushing grief if I let myself reminisce too much. And people wonder why I absolutely refuse to get another pet. NO. Just no.

In also JUST NO news, there is a shit-storm of well-deserved fangirl wrath raining down on Caitlin Moran right now. She behaved like a horrid person at the Sherlock Season 3 premiere, and continues to act like an asshole despite world-wide protests and call-outs. Does it sound horribly arrogant and petty to say "Nyah nyah, I never liked her from the start!" because I really, REALLY didn't. I felt like there was something off and fake about her from day one and although it's sad the way she showed her true colors, I can't help feeling just a teensy bit smug for never jumping on her bandwagon. She's a sadistic bully and I want to wash her mouth with soap every time she claims the Feminist label. Because FUCK YOU, Caitlin. You are a bad feminist if you are a feminist at all.
clevermanka: default (not my life)
This little girl's voice. WOW.



Locals! If you've got business attire that you'd rather not donate to Goodwill or Salvation Army, KU has a professional clothing drive for students who need interview clothes.

The trip to Indy was nice. I scored some nice thrift finds (four cashmere sweaters, a wool sweater, a heavy cotton zip-front cardigan, and two skirts), and enjoyed the beautiful autumn leaves. They've usually all disappeared by the time I visit in late October/early November, but Indianapolis had a late fall and there were gorgeous yellows, reds, and oranges everywhere. We spent a lot of time just driving around. Next year I might plan my visit a couple weeks early so I have a better chance of catching that again. Maybe I'll get to drive the Chevelle out there!

When I got back home, I spent some time chatting with the neighbor until her dog bit me. BIT ME. I have never been bitten by a dog before and I wasn't entirely sure that's what had happened until I went inside to look at the wound. I was just petting the damn thing and when I stopped, he lunged at me. I felt a poke through my jeans but thought maybe it was just a claw. I made an excuse to go inside ([livejournal.com profile] mckitterick was still outside chatting) and when I looked at my thigh there was a definite puncture mark and little even scrapes from his teeth on either side of the puncture. Not to mention a bruise from the pressure. It really hurt.

I'm uncertain how to broach this topic with the neighbors. I've never been in a situation remotely like this before. I washed the wound and put antibiotic ointment on it and it looks okay (and is much less tender now) but what the fuck.
clevermanka: default (Default)
This little girl's voice. WOW.



Locals! If you've got business attire that you'd rather not donate to Goodwill or Salvation Army, KU has a professional clothing drive for students who need interview clothes.

The trip to Indy was nice. I scored some nice thrift finds (four cashmere sweaters, a wool sweater, a heavy cotton zip-front cardigan, and two skirts), and enjoyed the beautiful autumn leaves. They've usually all disappeared by the time I visit in late October/early November, but Indianapolis had a late fall and there were gorgeous yellows, reds, and oranges everywhere. We spent a lot of time just driving around. Next year I might plan my visit a couple weeks early so I have a better chance of catching that again. Maybe I'll get to drive the Chevelle out there!

When I got back home, I spent some time chatting with the neighbor until her dog bit me. BIT ME. I have never been bitten by a dog before and I wasn't entirely sure that's what had happened until I went inside to look at the wound. I was just petting the damn thing and when I stopped, he lunged at me. I felt a poke through my jeans but thought maybe it was just a claw. I made an excuse to go inside ([personal profile] mckitterick was still outside chatting) and when I looked at my thigh there was a definite puncture mark and little even scrapes from his teeth on either side of the puncture. Not to mention a bruise from the pressure. It really hurt.

I'm uncertain how to broach this topic with the neighbors. I've never been in a situation remotely like this before. I washed the wound and put antibiotic ointment on it and it looks okay (and is much less tender now) but what the fuck.
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
This is a good post.

I didn't know I was fat until my mother told me. I felt fine with myself. I didn't notice that I ate more than other kids (I don't think I did, to be honest), and none of my friends ever said anything to me about being fat. But I remember when my mother first commented on my size. I was probably between eight and ten years old. I don't have a lot of childhood memories, but I vaguely remember the conversation in the dressing room. It was something like "You can't wear that. You're too chubby for it." "I'm not chubby." "Yes, you are. Look in the mirror." "Oh."

And it was a like a light switch flip. When we walked into the dressing room, the reflection I saw was just me. When we left the dressing room, the reflection I saw was fat me.

My mother thought I was fat enough to take ten-year-old me to specialists to make sure there was nothing wrong with me. There wasn't--at least nothing they found.

When I was fourteen, the extra fat just...went away. I wasn't doing anything different. Puberty simply took care of it for me. However, I was damned if I was going to leave the maintenance of my newly-thin body to chance. I started starving myself. I never exhibited signs of severe anorexia, so nobody ever did anything about it. But I remember tracking my calories for a Home Ec project and the teacher being (justifiably) concerned that I was only eating 800 calories a day. She never said anything to my parents, though, and didn't raise the subject with me again. I survived on 800 to 1,000 calories a day (with occasional weekend binges of pizza, burgers, tacos, and malts and secret night binges of powdered sugar gem doughnuts or Reese's Mini Peanut Butter cups with my grandma) for more than three years.

It's no surprise that my body is such a mess.

I'm not laying all the blame for my health woes on my mother, but I can't help wondering: If she'd ignored the fact that I was chubbier than most of my peers, kept her opinion to herself, and just let me be a chubby kid, unaware and unselfconscious of my size, would I have all these issues today? In her defense, my mother also frequently told me that I was the most beautiful girl in the world. But why did she feel that only applied to my face?

With society's insane marketing culture today, kids can't eat whatever they want, whenever they want, and never engage in any sort of physical activity. I'm not saying parents shouldn't try to raise healthy kids. But I know from personal experience that putting a value judgement on a child's size and shape can cause permanent damage--not all of it psychological.
clevermanka: default (Default)
This is a good post.

I didn't know I was fat until my mother told me. I felt fine with myself. I didn't notice that I ate more than other kids (I don't think I did, to be honest), and none of my friends ever said anything to me about being fat. But I remember when my mother first commented on my size. I was probably between eight and ten years old. I don't have a lot of childhood memories, but I vaguely remember the conversation in the dressing room. It was something like "You can't wear that. You're too chubby for it." "I'm not chubby." "Yes, you are. Look in the mirror." "Oh."

And it was a like a light switch flip. When we walked into the dressing room, the reflection I saw was just me. When we left the dressing room, the reflection I saw was fat me.

My mother thought I was fat enough to take ten-year-old me to specialists to make sure there was nothing wrong with me. There wasn't--at least nothing they found.

When I was fourteen, the extra fat just...went away. I wasn't doing anything different. Puberty simply took care of it for me. However, I was damned if I was going to leave the maintenance of my newly-thin body to chance. I started starving myself. I never exhibited signs of severe anorexia, so nobody ever did anything about it. But I remember tracking my calories for a Home Ec project and the teacher being (justifiably) concerned that I was only eating 800 calories a day. She never said anything to my parents, though, and didn't raise the subject with me again. I survived on 800 to 1,000 calories a day (with occasional weekend binges of pizza, burgers, tacos, and malts and secret night binges of powdered sugar gem doughnuts or Reese's Mini Peanut Butter cups with my grandma) for more than three years.

It's no surprise that my body is such a mess.

I'm not laying all the blame for my health woes on my mother, but I can't help wondering: If she'd ignored the fact that I was chubbier than most of my peers, kept her opinion to herself, and just let me be a chubby kid, unaware and unselfconscious of my size, would I have all these issues today? In her defense, my mother also frequently told me that I was the most beautiful girl in the world. But why did she feel that only applied to my face?

With society's insane marketing culture today, kids can't eat whatever they want, whenever they want, and never engage in any sort of physical activity. I'm not saying parents shouldn't try to raise healthy kids. But I know from personal experience that putting a value judgement on a child's size and shape can cause permanent damage--not all of it psychological.
clevermanka: default (moar meat)
Daddy's eye is already better after just a day on the antibiotics. He and Mommy had a better time than they thought they would at yoga class last night. Daddy even wanted pictures of us after class, sitting on the mats, etc.

It was only the second time Daddy seemed happy this whole trip. Mommy thinks he never recovered from the depression triggered by last summer's heart event. He doesn't engage much in conversation unless [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick is around--just reads the paper or texts/plays around on his phone. He gets frustrated and angry at things like his phone not working right, which is very out of character for him (he had to replace his phone while he was here). Mommy says he even got short with the staff person at the Sprint store. I've never in my life seen him be anything but polite and gracious with customer service people. He's never been one not to speak his mind (hello, I come by it naturally), but he's always been calm and laid-back about it--the type of person who finds the humor even in annoying situations.

I talked with Mommy a bit about it yesterday (while he was sitting in the car outside and messing with his phone) and asked her if she thought it would help if I talked with him about it. Unfortunately, she's mentioned his happiness level to him earlier in the day and he'd gotten defensive about it, so she thought my bringing it up this trip would be a bad idea. Too bad, because when they leave, my window for talking with him will close. He cannot talk on the phone with me, and I have no idea why. He clams up. Our typical phone conversation goes like this:

My phone: *ring*ring*
Me: Hello!
Daddy: Hey, boo.
...
...
...
Me: Daddy, you called me. You're supposed to start talking now.
Daddy: Oh, I just thought I'd see how you were doing.
Me: I'm good, rough day at work, but nothing awful. We're watching a movie tonight. You?
Daddy: Oh, you know, the usual.
...
...
...
Me: Well, okay, this has been great! Love you!
Daddy: Love you, too, bye.
*hang up*
Me: WHAT IN THE FUCK?

They leave today around noon.

After digging through the freezer yesterday, I realized I'm going to run out of meat before I get another chance to order an animal this fall. I'm trying not to panic at the financial implications of buying pasture-fed meat by the pound. Next time, I'm buying the whole pig, not just half of one, and I'll remember to ask for more ground pork, no hams. I still haven't found a buyer for those hams. *sigh*
clevermanka: default (post-dance)
We went to the Johnson County Museum yesterday and saw the Electric House. Pretty cool!

And then Daddy had to see a doctor because he's contracted an eye infection. I started my period five days early and am cramping and bloated. We're supposed to walk around downtown today but it's not supposed to get above 50F until after noon.

*le sigh*

I could really use a nap.

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clevermanka

April 2017

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