clevermanka: default (post-dance)
It's likely I wouldn't get along with this guy in person, but he's not entirely wrong about guns and how to approach/use them. I found this one especially amusing: Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets…You may get killed with your own gun, but he’ll have to beat you to death with it, cause it’ll be empty.

This cemetery yard is fantastic.

Errands, food prep, laundry, and seasonal wardrobe switcheroo happened on Saturday (locals are welcome for the couple days of beautiful weather since my summer clothes are packed away now--seriously, this happens every time), as well as the bachelorette party for my BFFs. I did it all on about 5 hours of sleep. Then Sunday (with four hours of sleep, even with the time-change extra hour) I attended the wedding. Ceremony only lasted about thirty minutes (yay!) but the socializing lasted six hours. It was great, don't get me wrong. I don't get to see these people very often. But wow am I tired. I got zero couch time over the weekend.

I nearly cried this morning (stinging eyes, hitch at back of throat) from how much I didn't want to come to work today. I'm so fucking tired and my spoon count is running perilously low.

Nearly halfway done with today, though. Nearly halfway.

Tomorrow I get my first mammogram. Good times.
clevermanka: default (boots and boys)
Yesterday's responses to my call for hysterectomy stories was overwhelming (in a good way) and incredibly helpful. I was touched by the care and compassion of friends and complete strangers, who shared intimate details about their experiences. I fucking love the internet.

This morning I was lying in bed, checking in with my body. I do it every morning. It's my pre-flight check to make sure nothing is so wrong that I might not make it through the workday. I...have never typed that out before, and now that I've done the equivalent of saying it aloud, I realize how bizarre it is. Who does shit like that? Me, I guess. Anyway. I was checking in and made myself aware of the near-constant slight abdominal pressure I've known about for a long time (at least a year, perhaps more). I always thought it was gas or something not sitting right or maybe I just needed to pee. It felt like menstrual cramps, but surely I wouldn't have menstrual cramps if I wasn't at that part of my cycle, right? Lying there this morning, I realized/admitted to myself, that's probably the giant fibroid. Gross.

I don't often have regrets, but I am very much regretting not wearing tights under my skirt today. I am freezing. I've got a lot going on this weekend, but hauling out the winter wardrobe on Saturday is a must. I don't have a record of when I switched out wardrobes last year, but I think this might be a record for lateness thereof. Hurray for boots, sweaters, and tights! I am not a fan of cold weather, but I least I enjoy cold weather fashion.

Here's a job I would've been really good at, y'all. But that would also mean living in a big city, Ah well! Last night at Henna Time I sold [ profile] hdsqrl and [ profile] radiantmephit on Hamilton, and that was great. I also started following Lin-Manuel Miranda on Twitter because he is fucking hilarious and I'm starting to develop such a crush on him.

This has been in my head all week so I'm sharing it with you, too. God damn I love this song so much.
clevermanka: default (blah)
Obviously they have not fixed the AC problem. They thought they did, but neglected to contact anyone in the affected building to confirm the problem was actually fixed. Typical.

I have an appointment with Dr. Jonah tonight and instead of driving back to Lawrence, I'm staying the night in KC with [ profile] miischelle so I have only a half-hour drive to the airport tomorrow morning instead of a 75-90 minute drive. That's good, because this is, I think, gonna be a full flight and I don't want to get on it with an hour and a half in the car behind me. I checked in online this morning, fifteen minutes after the slot opened up for online cattle call (ugh, Southwest), and I'm in the second half of B boarding group. For a 5:30am flight. Ugh. I decided to check my luggage. I don't want to be That Person trying to find space in an overhead bin. It's a non-stop flight so hopefully nothing will go wrong.

My stomach is so swollen today it's touching the keyboard rest of my standing desk. Compared to this image, I am equivalent to the fifth stage of this image (first image on bottom row). Much big. So discomfort.

God it's so fucking hot in here. My office has no air movement. This is miserable. It's not even noon.

I am strongly tempted to tap out early today.
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
Allergies. Sigh. Once in a while I think about trying a low-histamine diet, but then I get depressed and overwhelmed because oh my god cut more things from my food options? UGH. The complete lack of results with 90 days on the auto-immune protocol diet doesn't encourage me to try another elimination diet anytime soon.

Also, this happened yesterday:

PT guy Tim gave me a fix that will alleviate a bit of the pressure on the shoulder in that pose, but it's still gonna be tender for a couple days. Typical.

For later reference: Pre-workout alignment exercises.

This evening I'm gonna break out my new serger knowledge and see if I can't re-fashion some of these thrift-store clothes that've been piling up in the sewing room. So excited! If I like the process and the results, I'm gonna open up an Etsy store for them. I did a lot of searches on Etsy and all the refashioned post-apocalyptic stuff is either costumey and so not really wearable for daily use (although gorgeous--and expensive) or just...shockingly amateur. This, for instance. Fucking brilliant idea. Terrible execution. I do like the D-ring strap shorts she's selling. But again, they don't look finished, somehow.

Speaking of finished, here's my self-insert fanart! It'll post on Tumblr tomorrow, but y'all get a sneak preview today. After looking at it for a while, I see a few places I'd like to add things. Maybe someday? But not now. Also, I need a better way to scan these babies. It's $10 a pop every time at FedEx/Kinko's and I think that's just fucking outrageous. If anyone local has access to something that will flat scan 14"x17" images, let me know.

Last night I made some food for a friend going through a rough time to save her and her husband the hassle of cooking for a few days. Caring for select individuals makes me feel good, and to be honest, cooking is probably the thing I'm best at (besides giving unflinching and often unwanted life advice). Making someone's life a little easier makes me feel necessary and appreciated, so win-win!

I have one more evening of solitude tonight while [ profile] mckitterick wraps up his CSSF Summer activities. Hurray for getting one more night of puttering around the house with loud music and scented candles but also hurray for (starting tomorrow), getting laid on a regular basis again!

So despite getting not nearly enough sleep last night (ugh, 3am thunderstorms), and having a constant dull ache in my shoulder, I feel pretty good today. How's your day/weekend/life shaping up, friends?

clevermanka: default (oh hai)
Thanks so much to [ profile] hdsqrl whose comment yesterday inspired me to do one more search for workable cupids and suddenly I was inspired by an image I'd already found and I found an old selfie pic to fit it (thank god for two different 365-day selfie projects). I cut out the focus pieces (god, cutting out RayK's hair is always such a hassle), then picked out, cut out, and glued down the texture base materials last night. Tonight is paint, paint texturing, and possibly more gluing-shit-down. Wednesday I probably won't get to work on it, so finishing touches need to be done Thursday night so I can take it downtown Friday afternoon to get scanned for uploading on Saturday.

I'm trying hard not to think about the fact that this weekend was the solstice so now the days are getting shorter and it's just all downhill from here.

Today's Tumblr is Tuesday, June 23: Snails.
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
I got some clarification from [ profile] frugurl27 in the comments yesterday and then this morning in an email from KU's HR department about the furloughs and they will affect us in regards to the new fiscal year, starting June 7. So I still have a paycheck coming. That's nice!

Also nice: Last night I had enough energy after dinner to work on a new apron. My old one was (frankly) disgusting from nearly ten years of use and stains. I didn't quite get it done, but I'll be able to wrap it up tonight if my energy levels are similar to yesterday. But after last night's thunderstorms (at 3:00a and again at 4:30a), that's...not a certainty.

Also also nice: My left hip is hurting much less. It's only a teensy bit sore/achey now instead of nearly-debilitating. The improvement is, I think, a combination of starting to lose a bit of weight after a week of conscientious eating, easing up a bit on the PT exercises, and not sleeping with a pillow under my knees.

Someone on FB shared this with me today: Rejected Princesses. I'm not sure I like attaching the term "princess" to most of these women (and I'm not sure they would either), but the website itself is great.

Anybody who is on Tumblr these days (at least in the circles I'm in) knows it's kind of All Tom Hardy All The Time which is a nice change. I am 100% thrilled to see his face instead of Blenderdick Candycrush's (admittedly pretty but not as interesting to me) mug plastering my dash. Here's a sample of what I'm seeing for probably thirty to forty percent of my dash these days:


There are so few people around the building this morning that the motion-activated lights in the hall outside my office just turned off.


Miss Piggy honored with a Sackler Center First Award from the Elizabeth A. Sackler Center for Feminist Art at the Brooklyn Museum

Gonna wrap this up with a story about yesterday. There's this house between mine and campus. It's always been a rental and it's always been little sketchy. Cinderblock construction, overgrown front yard, beer bottles and overflowing ashtrays on the porch, you get the idea. Lately there's been a really nice 70s Honda motorcycle sitting outside and once or twice I've seen a guy working on it. A few weeks ago I passed the house when the garage was open and it was packed with maybe ten ratty old bikes with maybe some scooters mixed in. Just a ton of junked-out bikes. So obviously this person does repairs/restorations and if that Honda is any indication, he's pretty good. Yesterday, someone posted to this to a local FB group. That's totally this guy's bike. So I thought I'd stop by on my way home and see if the dude was home and let him know. As I was walking up to the door, I had that This Is A Terrible Idea feeling. The house was dark and even the front smelled (from the beer bottles and overflowing ashtrays). There was yard work stuff piled in the doorway, covered in cobwebs and dirt, and the storm door was broken and hung open. The doorbell was broken, too, and when I knocked on the inside door I was honestly relieved that nobody answered. Fucking creepy house.

And that's the story of how I avoided being the victim of an axe murderer this week.


May. 19th, 2015 10:10 am
clevermanka: default (blah)
My hips are getting sore and stiff again. Hurray for seeing Star again tomorrow! And the PT guy, and Dr. Jonah--it's a long morning in KC for me. In a way, it's kind of cool that the issue is returning. Very few issues are solved in a single fix-it session, and this slight regression somehow makes the healing process more real.

Here are more office stretches that you don't even need to leave your desk to do.

There are squirrels or birds (or both) in the dropped ceiling at the office. This happens every year. Oh, spring.

I've been eating for crap lately and I can't be assed to care. Last night I had a green salad with dried fruit, toasted almonds, and chopped strawberries. For dessert (like I needed dessert--that salad was sweet enough to be a dessert), apple slices with almond butter. WTF, self. There's this stuff called protein. And remember how you're supposed to limit your intake of raw food? Yeah.

Today's Tumblr is Tuesday, May 19: Rain.
clevermanka: default (yikes)
Because I want to take my Sherlock fandom tee shirts to 221B Con, and they're currently packed away with my summer clothes, I'm switching out my seasonal wardrobe today before I pack my suitcase for tomorrow morning's departure to Atlanta.

Apologies for the final freeze/inch of snow/horrible weather of hell's choosing this will inevitably bring upon the locals.
clevermanka: default (punch it)
We got some freezing rain last night and it's pretty darn slick out there, but I don't have anywhere I have to go until Monday morning ([ profile] mckitterick took me to the grocery store right after work yesterday) and I'm feeling pretty snug and content here at home. [ profile] stuology arrives in about an hour for Punching Things (which I'll do to some minimal extent and then move on to yoga) and then lunch and then [ profile] mckitterick is getting a long-overdue massage (poor guy, a two-hour massage sounds like fun until you get one from me), and then roast chicken for dinner and oh oh oh, life is so good.

P.S. [ profile] mckitterick wrote me a love letter last night after I went to bed. Aw. I'm saving it to read until after punching and yoga.
clevermanka: default (winter)
If you reference a person's accent in any way other than "omg that is a sexy fucking accent hngngngn" or something similar, I'm judging you.

Mobility Mobility Mobility! Breaking Muscle has an extensive post about getting deep into a squat. I have mobility issues in my hips and my ankles and my squat form is, in a word, terrible. I know this. I'm working on this. I want to work on this more.


Because I am L-A-Z-Y lazy (and also, I have no burning desire to be a published writer), I decided not to spend the energy on a re-write and submission of that disordered eating post as an article to The Toast. So in case you missed it before I marked it as private, here it is. I'm also going to post a link to it on Tumblr tomorrow in case anyone wants to reblog it there.

Today's Tumblr, btw, is Tuesday, February 17: Wolves.

And speaking of Tumblr, I had a giveaway last week and nobody took me up on my offer. *sigh* If this looks like something you'd enjoy, please drop me a comment or send me a PM. First response I receive gets a free online art workshop--mutual follows get first dibs, but if none of my mutuals are interested, it'll go to the first commenter. If you're not on LJ but you have my email address, email me! I'd really like someone to use this gift certificate for the workshop. I've never taken one of Traci's online workshops, but her in-person classes are top-notch and I've seen several of her videos, all of which have high quality production standards.

Because we're finally getting some snow here, I have to drive the fucking Subaru to Kansas City for my appointment with Dr. Jonah today. UGH. I hate that vehicle. I know it's not unsafe, but it handles so different from the Crossfire that I feel unsafe in it. Like I'm not really connected to the road and the skinny little tires might just fling themselves off the highway at any moment. Blech.

In other vehicle news, [ profile] mckitterick finally settled on what engine to buy for the Chevelle (remember when I said the engine was the only part of the car we were keeping? yeah, never mind) and now we've got an engine on the way that is worth more than what we paid for the entire original car. Life with a gearhead, folks. IT IS GOOD. We've also decided to just grit our teeth and do a full off-the-frame restoration and finish the body work while we've got the thing apart, so that's going to delay our estimate on getting this thing on the road (again). But I feel like finally we both understand what the other wants out of this car and there's an actual plan in place instead of just nebulous concepts. So now it's just a matter of when we can get the things done that we know we want to do. This car's gonna be five years in the making but god damn it's going to be an amazing ride.
clevermanka: default (wrestler)
I absolutely must go to the grocery store.

For breakfast I managed to get down two out of the three sardines in the can (solid food yay!). Canned fish is the only non-frozen protein in the house. Which is fine, I generally like sardines and I don't really care what I eat right now since nothing tastes good anyway. But I really need to pull some stuff out of the freezer, get some vegetables, and figure out what the hell to prep for food for next week.

With luck, I'll have energy this afternoon to go see Jupiter Ascending.

At least the weather is beautiful! Sunny with a projected high of 66 today. It's like the world is welcoming me back.

Seen on Tumblr:

So, devoured by my own existence. Seems reasonable.
clevermanka: default (winter)
It was so cold this morning that when [ profile] mckitterick gave me a ride to work (bless him), he couldn't get the car doors open, and had to crawl in through the hatchback of the Subaru (this would not have worked in the Crossfire) and then push the doors open from the inside. And then my door wouldn't shut, so I had to hold it while we drove to campus and then he had to hold it closed on the way home. Good thing he has long arms. At least the sun's out?

I'm not kidding when I say I don't remember the last time it wasn't sunny on February 2 here. I do remember the last time we didn't have snow on the ground for my birthday, though. It was in 2010, and my 40th birthday party.

Speaking of, a few people came over to help celebrate my birthday on Saturday and it was Good Times. Someone brought me Djarum Blacks which was very sweet of her, but I haven't smoked in ages but I had two of them and two days later my lungs are still hating me and I honestly didn't really enjoy them all that much. So does anyone want the rest of this pack?

My office is an annoying temperature that is too cold without my extra sweater on but too warm with it.

I ordered some nose jewelry from a seller on Etsy and she either didn't read or ignored my purchase note to please make the pin shorter than usual. Just looking at the piece in the bag I can tell it's going to hang below my nostril. It's just enormous. I wrote her, but she says on her store that she doesn't do refunds and I'm not a little upset about this. I mean, it wasn't cheap, you know? I know if she refuses, I can leave unhappy feedback, but that doesn't give me back my nearly $80 because she charged fucking ten dollars for shipping.

Day Two of this Whole30 and am feeling good. My body was ready for it. I made a whole bunch of treats for my birthday (semi-paleo things like these blondies and these brownies) and I ate, like, one of each of them because meh. I've been feeling so bloated and stiff and just generally blah lately that I'm psychologically and physiologically ready for a system clean-out. Wasn't even tempted to put coconut milk in my tea yesterday and that's huge. Coconut milk is actually fine on Whole30, but I've been using too much too often and that's a lot of calories I'm not using when I'm not lifting heavy so I decided to cut that habit, too, while I was at it.

[ profile] sherwood21 sent me this article on how to sit smarter. So many people decide to transition to a standing desk without realizing or acknowledging the fact that standing for hours and hours a day is nearly as bad as sitting for that long. There's a lot of stuff I'd never thought about, like foot placement and pressure when sitting, as well as deep breathing. I'll be incorporating those things during my sit-down time at the office.

Speaking of postural stuff, I'm on day three of the four-week posture alignment program I mentioned last week. It's pretty impressive. The first exercise doesn't do much for me (I think my calves are too tight?), but the second and third ones are amazing. I was surprised and dismayed at how little my torso rotates when I keep my knees and hips stacked and upright during a prone twist. I've always thought my spine was flexible, but what with Dr. Jonah's analysis and now this, I'm learning different. When I'm in the third pose, with my legs on the chair, I feel how unevenly my sacrum rests against the floor. I'm already starting to feel a pulling on the right side, just above the butt dimple, and a slight ache on the left, which (I think) means things are moving and shifting. Hurray for immediate progress/reward!

Speaking of progress, I'm gonna see how much super-focused eating changes my measurements, especially in regards to abdominal swelling. Here are my numbers as of February's Whole30, Day One.

Weight: 169.4
Waist: 33.5"
Navel: 40.5"
Hips: 44"

I won't measure again or weigh until March 1. I know that's not technically thirty days, but I am so in love with the perfect month of this year's February.

Isn't that just so soothing to look at? I mean look at that. God damn. So nice.
clevermanka: default (gray boots)
LJ is fucking up (again) and won't let me upload to my scrapbook. One of these days I'm gonna try to log on and it's all gonna be gone. I really gotta back this thing up. I discovered the problem when I was trying to post this photo from that I grabbed about two minutes ago.

As I say in the Tumblr post (because that's where I could upload the pic even though I'm having other technical difficulties with Tumblr right now but at least I can use it okay) "My part of the world has forgotten that we’re actually in the northern hemisphere and it’s supposed to be winter here."

Even though I could really use a nap, I am definitely going on a walk during my lunch break.

I want to resume weight lifting soon. Not as soon as I'd hoped (April), but perhaps May, after the semester is over. To avoid a repeat of my last two crash-and-burns with overexertion, I'm looking into HRV monitors, per the suggestions in this article. Quite an investment, though, since I'll need the monitor and a new phone to run the app.

How to progress to a perfect push-up.

A lot of people might not share my feelings on them, but I love abdominal exercises. I know, (I know! I know!) that trying to spot-tone an area is a useless exercise, but I actually like the sensation of my abs working hard. If you do share my feelings about ab exercises, check out these recommendations from my beloved Breaking Muscle.

I'm feeling better today, thanks for all the well-wishes. Not sure what was wrong. I was having monthly issues, yeah, but man, I was so fucking beat it was overwhelming to get out of bed on Monday (which honestly, I didn't do much outside of lying in bed reading) and Tuesday I took it pretty easy before I went to KC to see Dr. Jonah--although I did take a walk around the office grounds (they're very pretty) because I got there half an hour early. Ooops.
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
Two more things for the Movement wishlist. The first one I'm hesitant to buy/ask for because I have Kelly Starrett's first book on mobility and I haven't made it very far in. It's so dense and not written in a manner that my brain easily absorbs. But he wrote another one more recently that's primarily directed at runners but seems to be usable for most activities. The second one, though, I'm ordering today. A tabata timer that comes highly recommended by a friend. SOLD!

I'm a believer in post-training mobility work, and I've sometimes thought about more active exercises for post-training correction. Thanks, Breaking Muscle, for posting an article about that very thing just as I'm starting to gear up for more demanding movement! I'll be looking into other articles about corrective movement post exercise.

Yesterday was beautiful. Nearly 60 degrees, and sunny until noon, when clouds rolled in but didn't cool things off. Cold air started moving in toward evening and winds are pretty wild right now, but yesterday was so nice. I got a lot of errands run, including delivering to the thrift stores a bunch of stuff that needed out of the house. Had to leave the desk at the Sally because no other thrift in town takes furniture. Bleh. That was a LOT of mass removed from my life, though, so hurray! Sometimes I feel like the amount of stuff in the house is pressing in on me. I've still got a lot to shed, but oh it feels good to get one carload of it gone.

[ profile] stuology asked me for the recipe for my fruit-nut bars. I didn't have one (they're usually a combination of eyeballing the amounts and using what I've got on hand), but yesterday I measured things out and they came out good, so here's what I put them. Keep in mind, these are flexible--not just amounts but ingredients.

Made-at-home Lära Bars
1 c shredded, dried coconut flakes (plain, not sweetened, no added sugar; either plain or toasted or a mixture)
1 c dates, chopped
1 c dried figs, chopped
1 c almonds
1-2 T date syrup (or honey or maple syrup)
1/2 t ground ginger
1/2 t ground cinnamon
1/4 t salt

In a food processor, chop/grind the coconut flakes until they're powdery/mealy. Add spices and salt. Process just enough to blend. Add figs and dates and process until slightly incorporated with coconut, but not yet blended to paste. Add almonds. Process until almonds are thoroughly chopped and all ingredients are well-incorporated. Still processing, slowly pour in small amounts of date syrup (just a little at a time) until mixture starts to adhere into a ball. Pour out into an 8x8 or 9x9 pan lined with parchment paper. Press evenly to fill pan. Cover with parchment paper and refrigerate for two hours. Cut into small squares. I get 16 bars out of a pan.

Finally, I want to eat everything in this blog post. RIGHT. NOW.
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
Yesterday's calisthenics were apparently productive. My shoulders and triceps are making their presences known. My hips are sore, but I can't tell if it's deep soft tissue or joint ache. I rolled out my glutes, quads, and IT bands for about twenty minutes last night after dinner and man it was rough. My arms were so tired from the morning's exertions that eventually I just had to let myself collapse on the therapy ball and lie there until the knot dissipated.

I woke at 5:45 this morning, but couldn't bear to get out of bed. Today is Restorative Yoga day and I knew my room downstairs would be too cold for me to relax into any of the poses so I lay there for an hour and fifteen minutes, reveling in the warm softness of my beautiful bed. DELIGHTFUL. Tonight I'll set up the space heater in my downstairs room and after dinner I'll crank the heat in the house and settle in for a nice, long restorative session before bed. ALSO DELIGHTFUL.

This cold snap is becoming wearisome. I cannot drink enough warm beverages. It's supposed to get up to 32 today. We'll see. I'll be making myself some chicken soup for dinner. [ profile] mckitterick is not a huge fan of sloshy soups (they need to be more stew-like), but he is most likely going out for dinner this evening so I'm looking forward to making a nice, basic soup with lots of onions. LOTS. Man. Now I'm really looking forward to dinner and not just because dinner means I won't be at my desk anymore.
clevermanka: default (winter)
Thanks to [ profile] gamera_spinning for the heads-up on this movie. It looks amazing. "The first Iranian Vampire Western ever made, Ana Lily Amirpour’s debut basks in the sheer pleasure of pulp. A joyful mash-up of genre, archetype, and iconography, its prolific influences span spaghetti westerns, graphic novels, horror films, and the Iranian New Wave."

I woke at four this morning (yaaaaaaaaaaay), admitted defeat at 4:30, got up, took a leisurely shower (shaved! washed hair!), and am now bundled up on the couch with some tea. Really hoping my hair dries before I head out for errands at 9:00. Brrrr.

Today is Get Shit Done Day. Errands (grocery, dry cleaner), then (assuming fall squash is still on sale) roasting and pureeing my bodyweight in pumpkin, butternut, and acorn squash. While the roasting happens, I'll work on my due South Sekrit Santa piece. Also laundry.

Hey, so, my skin needs a break from my beloved Paula's Choice exfoliants and moisturizers. I plan to go back to them, but I've noticed a diminished quality to my skin lately. It just looks a little dull. Which could just be age, but I figured I'd try a couple months of a different product to see if that helps. I need soy-, paraben-, fragrance- and sls-free products. Anybody got recommendations? I'm a-ok with hippie-dippie make-your-own stuff if it's a tried and true recipe from a friend.

Okay I am freezing and I think I need to go blow dry at least the top part of my hair, damn it. God, I hate cold weather.
clevermanka: default (tactical bacon)
It's That Time of Year again when the inside of my nose becomes dry, tender, and cracked from the forced heated air despite the fact that my office is freezing cold and we don't generally keep our house above 65F. MY FAVORITE.

I got my hair cut Saturday and my lovely stylist gave me a free blowout because she's awesome (and I tip well). It takes nearly twenty minutes to blow dry my hair--really blow dry it, not the half-assed thing I do at home--but when it's done well, my hair flows like water. I've been told I look like a Pantene advertisement when my hair's straightened like that. However, the power of my curl is strong and despite not washing my hair or even letting it get damp, it's starting to curl up at the ends and get tangly. I'll probably have to rinse it out this weekend. Sadness. I love my curls, don't get me wrong, but it's such a treat to be able to run my fingers through my hair a couple times a year.

Pretty much everything in this store is something that I'd like to have in my house. Especially this wallpaper. And I hate wallpaper.

Item of note: since I resigned myself to wearing All Knits All The Time, I care less about my abdominal swelling issues. It's amazing how, when I don't have to choose between clothes that fit half the day or have a waistband digging into my belly, the issue is...liveable. I would still like it to stop already, but it's not making my life miserable. Does cut down on my desire to participate in dance gigs, though. Fasting is doable, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

There are two things wanna do in my life right now: 1. Become re-engaged with my job. I am putting precious little soul into it lately and that's not helping my efficacy, enthusiasm, or efficiency. 2. Be more productive on the weekends. I want to get some art done, but once I'm finished with errands and house duties, it's all I can do to even make it to the damn couch. [ profile] mckitterick and I were having a conversation about Managing Life a few nights ago and he pointed out that I am great at strategy but not so good at tactics. So those are my two strategies for feeling better about my life right now. Just gotta figure a way to plan out those tactics.
clevermanka: default (post-dance)
I've never had much luck with receiving massages. Okay, that makes it sound like all I've had is bad massages and that's not the case. It's just that every time I've had one (I've had three, by three different people), I feel pretty much the same when I get up from the table as when I lie down. I don't get that euphoric bliss or even a sense of increased relaxation. But I've been having such issues with muscle fatigue lately that I figured it couldn't hurt to try again, right? So I made an appointment and had one yesterday afternoon.

My therapist was very charming and compassionate. I picked her because her blurb on the website said things like "deep tissue" and "heavy-handed Swedish." And everything she did felt fine. But it just was sort I didn't feel any different walking to my car (except for being a bit more slippery from the actually quite lovely shea butter) and by the time I got home my body felt exactly the same as when I'd walked in the door of the therapy office.

It just wasn't worth the $70 plus tip or the hour of time. I would've gotten better results torturing myself on my various self-myofascial tools and/or having [ profile] mckitterick attack me with the rolling pin. Sad-making. I'd love to be one of those people who benefits from massage, but I think I'm just...not. Which is extra weird considering I've had so many people tell me I'm great at giving them.

So anyway, there was that.

Then this morning I went to the gym and threw my back out on the second to last rep of the last set of my deadlifts. Bad. I'm pretty much immobile. I have no idea what happened. I felt like I had good form. I wasn't feeling weak or tired. My grip was strong. But as I was coming up out of the rep, I felt something across my low back just snap. It didn't pull, like I've felt my hamstrings pull--or like when I slipped doing those lateral lunges last year. This just went POINK and we both (me and the bar) went to the floor. I crouched there, sort of in shock, for about a minute before I realized I couldn't stand up and rolled to my right hip. I sat there for another thirty seconds or so thinking "Well what the fuck now?" since I was the only person in the gym (and have been the only person in the gym for the past three weeks--YAY SUMMER BREAK!).

Then, miracle of miracles, Mike, one of the HSES (Health, Sport, Exercise Science) grad students, walked in the door. He and I have chatted before and he's super cool. He started training a woman late last semester. Joanna looks to be about my age, is quite obese, and is always all smiles. He has her doing basically the same stuff that I'm doing--functional strength with some Olympic lifting thrown in. No elliptical, no treadmill. Squats and lifts, baby. Woo! They're both fucking awesome. Anyway, Mike saw me on the floor, ran over, and asked if I was okay.

"No," I said. "I am not. I fucked up on a deadlift and I can't stand up. I'm hurting pretty bad. Help." He helped me lie down (I couldn't even lie down on my own, y'all) and got a bag of crushed ice from some magical HSES hiding place. I lay down on that for about five minutes before I was overcome with the desire to just fucking get home so I rolled off that and got myself to standing by basically hauling myself up the weight stand station. I asked him to please put away my weights and the barbell because no way in hell I was gonna be able to do that. By that time Joanna had come in, too (I was glad because I hadn't seen her in a month and I'd hoped she hadn't given up) and she looked worried for me. I hope I didn't scare her from lifting heavy.

So now I'm home with a stomach full of Naproxin, a heating pad, and my misery.


The extra sad thing about this is as I was walking to the gym this morning I thought about how I was going to write a brilliant post about the gorgeous sky at 5:50am today. The east looked like it was on fire. I've heard people use that phrase before but I never saw what that meant until today. Fraser Hall, at the very top of the hill on which KU is built, was outlined in an amazing orange glow that didn't fade to pink until it was halfway across the sky and nearly purple. That whole part of the sky was completely saturated with orange. In the west, the sky was just light enough to see half a rainbow. It was breathtaking. I've never seen a sky like that. Ever.

Appropriately, when I left the gym, limping and panting to myself you just gotta make it home just make it home and you'll be okay just get home you can do this you just gotta make it home, everything was gray and it was starting to rain.

Also, I started eating solid food again. My waist is back up an inch and a half after three days of eating solid food. An inch and a half. Three days. FUCK THIS INFLAMMATION BULLSHIT. I am so tired of dealing with this. So tired.
clevermanka: default (winter)
I don't know how much snow we got, but I'm thinking...a foot? Maybe? KU is closed again today FUCK YEAH.

Monday night I kept thinking Oh It Won't Happen. It'll Miss Us. It'll Be FINE. And then when there was no snow on the ground I was all WOOOOOOOOO. But when it started coming down pretty serious, I was all Bring It because once you're in hell you might as well burn, right? And if we're gonna get hammered, might as well get fucking hammered and get two days of no work. Yeah, it's gonna suck trudging up the hill tomorrow, but two snow days in a row? Right on.

Yesterday I read shockingly little porn and also didn't get much done, but it was a good day. L-A-Z-Y FTW. Today I'm at least going to do some serious rolling out because whoof. We went to the gym on Monday since I was worried about making it to the gym the rest of the week (justifiably concerned, I'd say). So I had only about 36 hours between heavy lifting sessions and wow I could feel it during the workout (although the only movements that really suffered were the weighted split squats at the end of the session). The DOMS on Tuesday was pretty bad, though. I had [ profile] mckitterick use the rolling pin on my calves and hamstrings. Heavy, one-piece rolling pin? Fantastic myofascial release device, I'm telling you.

I'm not sure how to find out if the Laverne Cox event is still on for tomorrow. The LGBTQ Resource FB page hasn't been updated since January 30.

clevermanka: default (Default)
I don't know how much snow we got, but I'm thinking...a foot? Maybe? KU is closed again today FUCK YEAH.

Monday night I kept thinking Oh It Won't Happen. It'll Miss Us. It'll Be FINE. And then when there was no snow on the ground I was all WOOOOOOOOO. But when it started coming down pretty serious, I was all Bring It because once you're in hell you might as well burn, right? And if we're gonna get hammered, might as well get fucking hammered and get two days of no work. Yeah, it's gonna suck trudging up the hill tomorrow, but two snow days in a row? Right on.

Yesterday I read shockingly little porn and also didn't get much done, but it was a good day. L-A-Z-Y FTW. Today I'm at least going to do some serious rolling out because whoof. We went to the gym on Monday since I was worried about making it to the gym the rest of the week (justifiably concerned, I'd say). So I had only about 36 hours between heavy lifting sessions and wow I could feel it during the workout (although the only movements that really suffered were the weighted split squats at the end of the session). The DOMS on Tuesday was pretty bad, though. I had [personal profile] mckitterick use the rolling pin on my calves and hamstrings. Heavy, one-piece rolling pin? Fantastic myofascial release device, I'm telling you.

I'm not sure how to find out if the Laverne Cox event is still on for tomorrow. The LGBTQ Resource FB page hasn't been updated since January 30.


clevermanka: default (Default)

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