clevermanka: default (dS icon 1)
Someone on Tumblr suggested a self-insert fanart weekend and I'm going to see if I can possibly put together a piece of art for it. I want to find a famous painting of someone officiating a wedding (or some sort of ceremony with two people in it) and collage myself (officiating) Fraser and RayK. I considered doing a version of American Gothic with myself as a floating angel/putta above them, but there's enough interpretations of that painting floating around and it's actually an image of a farmer and his daughter, so making that into a romantic thing is kind of gross. Also thinking about just using a screen cap of the two of them and then pasting my head on a cherub and calling it good. I'm going to look around this morning for the base image/painting, but if anyone has suggestions, I'm open.

I ate like so much crap this weekend and I feel so gross today that I am on a complete strict Whole30 style eating plan until I leave for Las Vegas. It was a very easy decision, let me tell you. Ugh. I feel hungover in my guts. Just ugh. So if anyone needs a solidarity sister for fixing up your eating habits, I'm here.

Edit/Update: I just spent an egregiously long time looking for classical cupid/putti images that I could paste my head on and found nothing I liked very much. Not to mention putti in poses that would fit face angles in my numerous selfies. So I might be scrapping this idea of the self-insert fanart thing. Maybe if I had more time to leisurely browse for images? But if I was gonna get it done for the weekend I'd need the images by the time I leave here today to start work on it as soon as I get home and at this point I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen.

I did find a high quality Fraser/RayK screencap to use if someone asks for fanart in that pairing for this year's dS Sekrit Santa.
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
Super-focused eating is, apparently, what I need to start leaning down.

February 1 numbers:
Weight: 169.4
Waist: 33.5"
Navel: 40.5"
Hips: 44"

March 1 numbers:
Weight: 162
Waist: 31.5"
Navel: 38"
Hips: 42"

Yeah, I had the three days of practically-fasting from the flu, but still. Those are some pleasing numbers, especially considering the latest hormonal fuckery.

Since I eat pretty much Whole30-compliant all the time, here's what I eschewed for the month of February:
Coconut milk in tea every morning
Sweeteners of any kind, including honey and stevia
Treats (like those garbanzo-bean blondies)
Alcohol
Between-meal snacking

I also cut down on the amounts of nuts and dried fruit I ate, completely eliminating things like my home-made Lara bars (because of the no-snacking policy).

Between that and the intentional movement at least five times a week, I'm seeing definite changes in my body shape (rounder ass, more defined waist) in just twenty-eight days. God, it's so nice to see results. I owe a lot of the credit to the supplementation schedule I'm on. I wouldn't have seen this amount of improvement (if any) without substantial assistance to my endocrine, adrenal, and digestive systems.
clevermanka: default (lady gaga)
Not a lot about the Oscars on my Tumblr dash today. Just a bunch of dress reviews from omgthatdress, gifsets of Eddie Redmayne's and Patricia Arquette's acceptance speeches, and this amazing Sound of Music tribute from Lady Gaga.



I'm relieved to see she didn't fall down too deep a well of hot-mess-dom after Artpop. I heard reports of her Haus of Gaga support network abandoning her left and right and then...radio silence. So good to see she's doing well, her pipes are still in fine form, and I hope she puts out another album equal to Born This Way in the next few years. NGL, I would love to see her do at least one Broadway show so I could buy the soundtrack for it. [livejournal.com profile] madlori's take on it was particularly on point.

There was more interest than I expected about the postures I use in my home yoga practice. I'll start journaling those in more detail with my Intentional Movement Report on March 1.

Holy crap, next week is March! This Whole30 has gone surprisingly easily. Thanks a bunch, respiratory influenza!
clevermanka: default (winter)
It was so cold this morning that when [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick gave me a ride to work (bless him), he couldn't get the car doors open, and had to crawl in through the hatchback of the Subaru (this would not have worked in the Crossfire) and then push the doors open from the inside. And then my door wouldn't shut, so I had to hold it while we drove to campus and then he had to hold it closed on the way home. Good thing he has long arms. At least the sun's out?

I'm not kidding when I say I don't remember the last time it wasn't sunny on February 2 here. I do remember the last time we didn't have snow on the ground for my birthday, though. It was in 2010, and my 40th birthday party.

Speaking of, a few people came over to help celebrate my birthday on Saturday and it was Good Times. Someone brought me Djarum Blacks which was very sweet of her, but I haven't smoked in ages but I had two of them and two days later my lungs are still hating me and I honestly didn't really enjoy them all that much. So does anyone want the rest of this pack?

My office is an annoying temperature that is too cold without my extra sweater on but too warm with it.

I ordered some nose jewelry from a seller on Etsy and she either didn't read or ignored my purchase note to please make the pin shorter than usual. Just looking at the piece in the bag I can tell it's going to hang below my nostril. It's just enormous. I wrote her, but she says on her store that she doesn't do refunds and I'm not a little upset about this. I mean, it wasn't cheap, you know? I know if she refuses, I can leave unhappy feedback, but that doesn't give me back my nearly $80 because she charged fucking ten dollars for shipping.

Day Two of this Whole30 and am feeling good. My body was ready for it. I made a whole bunch of treats for my birthday (semi-paleo things like these blondies and these brownies) and I ate, like, one of each of them because meh. I've been feeling so bloated and stiff and just generally blah lately that I'm psychologically and physiologically ready for a system clean-out. Wasn't even tempted to put coconut milk in my tea yesterday and that's huge. Coconut milk is actually fine on Whole30, but I've been using too much too often and that's a lot of calories I'm not using when I'm not lifting heavy so I decided to cut that habit, too, while I was at it.

[livejournal.com profile] sherwood21 sent me this article on how to sit smarter. So many people decide to transition to a standing desk without realizing or acknowledging the fact that standing for hours and hours a day is nearly as bad as sitting for that long. There's a lot of stuff I'd never thought about, like foot placement and pressure when sitting, as well as deep breathing. I'll be incorporating those things during my sit-down time at the office.

Speaking of postural stuff, I'm on day three of the four-week posture alignment program I mentioned last week. It's pretty impressive. The first exercise doesn't do much for me (I think my calves are too tight?), but the second and third ones are amazing. I was surprised and dismayed at how little my torso rotates when I keep my knees and hips stacked and upright during a prone twist. I've always thought my spine was flexible, but what with Dr. Jonah's analysis and now this, I'm learning different. When I'm in the third pose, with my legs on the chair, I feel how unevenly my sacrum rests against the floor. I'm already starting to feel a pulling on the right side, just above the butt dimple, and a slight ache on the left, which (I think) means things are moving and shifting. Hurray for immediate progress/reward!

Speaking of progress, I'm gonna see how much super-focused eating changes my measurements, especially in regards to abdominal swelling. Here are my numbers as of February's Whole30, Day One.

Weight: 169.4
Waist: 33.5"
Navel: 40.5"
Hips: 44"

I won't measure again or weigh until March 1. I know that's not technically thirty days, but I am so in love with the perfect month of this year's February.



Isn't that just so soothing to look at? I mean look at that. God damn. So nice.

FRIDAY

Jan. 23rd, 2015 10:03 am
clevermanka: default (shake shake shake)
Right before I left for work yesterday, I discovered that the spreadsheets I created for today's morning meeting hadn't saved properly. I had the raw data, but about two hours of formatting work was gone. I managed to recreate everything this morning in only ninety minutes, though. Done in plenty of time for today's 11:00 meeting.



After talking with [livejournal.com profile] msmitti about it, last night I put on some music and danced in the living room for my daily half hour of movement. It was fantastic and I'm doing that more often. The thirty minutes flew by and even though the last song to come on during the time frame was a slow, steamy one (always more tiring to dance to because low low low), it was great--like really pushing it in the home stretch. When I finished, I had sweat dripping off the end of my nose. I certainly did some work and had a lot of fun doing it. Much more fun than walking.



I'm getting excited about February's Whole30. I'm taking the extra step of not just cutting foods that have crept back into my life (too much dried fruit and nuts, flavored teas, stevia), I'm re-introducing more demanding movement for short periods of time (like last night's dancing).

Last night, I was basically doing HIIT for thirty minutes--all out for about 30 seconds of a song, then a minute or whatever to sort of just groove and get my breath back, then throwing myself back in until I started to feel it get tough, back off until I had my energy back, etc. I didn't feel any lingering fatigue last night or this morning, so I think I'm safe as long as I keep it to half an hour. I can apply this to boxing as well as calisthenics. For boxing: spar or hard bagwork for 30-60 seconds, then walk it off or practice my (pitiable) kicks until I get my wind back. For calisthenics: burpees, lunges, or airsquats for 30 seconds, then appropriate calming but active yoga poses for a minute. Down-dog is good for that, so is bridge pose and some seated twists. I'll research others so I have a rotation.

I need to buy a timer/stopwatch so I'm not constantly looking at the clock.

In other exciting news, our UPS delivery person is lying about getting signatures from packages. Over the holidays, he claimed the other secretary signed for packages when she was on vacation and yesterday he claims to have received a signature from me when I was at lunch. In the meantime, people are complaining about lost packages and calling me because UPS is telling them that I signed for them. We've filed a complaint--well, two complaints now, since we filed one on behalf of the other secretary earlier this month. What an idiot.



God, Hiddleston is so beautiful in that last gif. *sigh*
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
Back at work today. Yay.

My Whole30 ended on January 31. I didn't talk about it much because it really wasn't a big deal for me this time. Apart from a couple social occasions where it would've been nice to have a glass of wine, I didn't hardly notice at all the changed eating. I was just a little more strict than normal when it came to how many nuts I ate, and the elimination of white potatoes (which I've started using in some of my soups because I like how they thicken the broth).

Anyway, I didn't expect to see a lot of changes, but I did notice some. First off, and most notably, I fit (barely! but I fit!) into a pair of jeans I've not worn in almost a year. This wasn't due to weight loss or even change of size (more on that in a moment). The only thing I can attribute it to is decreased inflammation--which means that booze, increased nut consumption, or white potatoes are causing a significant inflammatory response. I'm going to go out on limb here and say I'm doubting the white potatoes were the culprit. This is easily tested, though, by simply adding white potatoes back in. I'm not sure if I want to try that immediately or wait until after my travel in April.

Here's where the really interesting part comes in, though. My measurements (I'm only tracking Waist, Navel, and Hip) were exactly the same as they were on January 1. In fact, the measurement at my navel might have been up a wee bit. And yet I was able to fit into those jeans. So obviously it's not the actual inches but how they're distributed--and I can definitely see some different distribution. My ass is starting to stick out a little farther in back (aw yeah) and my lower back muscles are really developed. When I'm just standing, no flexing, no nothing, the line of my spine makes a significant valley/hollow from my ribs to tailbone. Basically, my posterior chain is starting to take up a lot of real estate. And now here comes the kicker: I'm up nearly three pounds. THREE POUNDS! Up three pounds with no change in abdominal measurements. That means I put on three pounds of muscle in one month.

I am a forty-four year old woman who put on three pounds of muscle in thirty days. I'd say those testosterone supplements are working.

I want to start incorporating more fermented foods into my diet. Does anyone have suggestions on how to actually go about doing this? I mean, not the making them, but the adding of them to meals? You know, actually eating them instead of just thinking about it?

How much do I love this theory about Mary? A LOT. I LOVE IT A LOT.

Also, now is a good time to reveal my [livejournal.com profile] pennswoods-inspired cosplay for 221B Con: CIA Agent Mary. Gotta drive to Leavenworth in the next few weeks to hit up the Army/Navy surplus stores for tactical wear.


This showed up on my dash this morning and I'm all FUCK YEAH less than a week and a half until Coriolanus at the Tivoli in KC.


Tonight is Laverne Cox speaking on campus! I am so excite! I shall probably be the only person in the audience who hasn't seen a single episode of Orange is the New Black but OH WELL.

I canceled Saturday's PR test with Andrew because there's a basketball game that afternoon and no way would I get a parking space when I returned from the test. And there's another Saturday afternoon game on the 15th. Note to [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick: we need to do other stuff before returning home from Coriolanus that day. I'm thinking there's no point in getting home before 6pm. UGH.
clevermanka: default (Default)
Back at work today. Yay.

My Whole30 ended on January 31. I didn't talk about it much because it really wasn't a big deal for me this time. Apart from a couple social occasions where it would've been nice to have a glass of wine, I didn't hardly notice at all the changed eating. I was just a little more strict than normal when it came to how many nuts I ate, and the elimination of white potatoes (which I've started using in some of my soups because I like how they thicken the broth).

Anyway, I didn't expect to see a lot of changes, but I did notice some. First off, and most notably, I fit (barely! but I fit!) into a pair of jeans I've not worn in almost a year. This wasn't due to weight loss or even change of size (more on that in a moment). The only thing I can attribute it to is decreased inflammation--which means that booze, increased nut consumption, or white potatoes are causing a significant inflammatory response. I'm going to go out on limb here and say I'm doubting the white potatoes were the culprit. This is easily tested, though, by simply adding white potatoes back in. I'm not sure if I want to try that immediately or wait until after my travel in April.

Here's where the really interesting part comes in, though. My measurements (I'm only tracking Waist, Navel, and Hip) were exactly the same as they were on January 1. In fact, the measurement at my navel might have been up a wee bit. And yet I was able to fit into those jeans. So obviously it's not the actual inches but how they're distributed--and I can definitely see some different distribution. My ass is starting to stick out a little farther in back (aw yeah) and my lower back muscles are really developed. When I'm just standing, no flexing, no nothing, the line of my spine makes a significant valley/hollow from my ribs to tailbone. Basically, my posterior chain is starting to take up a lot of real estate. And now here comes the kicker: I'm up nearly three pounds. THREE POUNDS! Up three pounds with no change in abdominal measurements. That means I put on three pounds of muscle in one month.

I am a forty-four year old woman who put on three pounds of muscle in thirty days. I'd say those testosterone supplements are working.

I want to start incorporating more fermented foods into my diet. Does anyone have suggestions on how to actually go about doing this? I mean, not the making them, but the adding of them to meals? You know, actually eating them instead of just thinking about it?

How much do I love this theory about Mary? A LOT. I LOVE IT A LOT.

Also, now is a good time to reveal my [personal profile] pennswoods-inspired cosplay for 221B Con: CIA Agent Mary. Gotta drive to Leavenworth in the next few weeks to hit up the Army/Navy surplus stores for tactical wear.


This showed up on my dash this morning and I'm all FUCK YEAH less than a week and a half until Coriolanus at the Tivoli in KC.


Tonight is Laverne Cox speaking on campus! I am so excite! I shall probably be the only person in the audience who hasn't seen a single episode of Orange is the New Black but OH WELL.

I canceled Saturday's PR test with Andrew because there's a basketball game that afternoon and no way would I get a parking space when I returned from the test. And there's another Saturday afternoon game on the 15th. Note to [personal profile] mckitterick: we need to do other stuff before returning home from Coriolanus that day. I'm thinking there's no point in getting home before 6pm. UGH.
clevermanka: default (oh hai)
Shit is going down in Kiev, y'all. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] redheadfae for the heads-up on this.

I don't like the phrase "I want to be him/her when I grow up." I'm going to write a blog post about that when I have the time. Right now things are still a little busy at the day job and I'm dealing with a stupid, tiny, non-split/non-ergonomic keyboard because I spilled tea in my ancient and beloved Microsoft Natural Pro keyboard that saw me through nearly TEN YEARS of typing. You guys, WE WERE REALLY CLOSE and I am grieving for it.



A new keyboard is on order because honestly, typing on this current piece of crap is horrible, but I am worried about the inevitable getting-to-know-you period. Just, ugh. WHY WITH THE SPILLED TEA. WHY.

The idea of "Do What You Love" needs to die in a fire (also thanks to [livejournal.com profile] redheadfae for that one). Because seriously. FUCK THAT. I can't even say it's a nice idea because it's based in such utter discrimination and privilege. I mean, nice work if you can get it, bro, but don't tell people to Follow Their Bliss when they can't even be sure they're going to be able to pay for rent and groceries in a given month.

I've got a week left on my Whole30. NGL, I am looking forward to my glass of wine on February 1. Pretty sure that's gonna be my only indulgence, though. I played around with the idea of doing regular Whole30s through the year, thirty days on, one day off, thirty days on, wash, rinse, repeat, but I'm not sure how that's gonna play with all the travel I've got on the menu this year. I might just declare that I'm Strict Paleo-ing except when I don't want to and call it good.

Holy wow, this fanvid. Some vague spoilers for Sherlock season 3.

The East Wind: A Sherlock AU trailer. What if there was no Fall? With John's help Sherlock is tracking down Moriarty's Web; but you can't expose the secrets without exposing yourself to the world's only consulting criminal who is determined to burn your heart out.


I've already picked up a few super cool folks from the Friending Frenzy I mentioned last night. HEY THERE NEW PEOPLE! Looking at the content of this post, it's pretty much a perfect representation of how I post and what I post about so if you're backing away slowly at this point, feel free to bail early. No hard feelings.
clevermanka: default (Default)
Shit is going down in Kiev, y'all. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK. Thanks to [personal profile] redheadfae for the heads-up on this.

I don't like the phrase "I want to be him/her when I grow up." I'm going to write a blog post about that when I have the time. Right now things are still a little busy at the day job and I'm dealing with a stupid, tiny, non-split/non-ergonomic keyboard because I spilled tea in my ancient and beloved Microsoft Natural Pro keyboard that saw me through nearly TEN YEARS of typing. You guys, WE WERE REALLY CLOSE and I am grieving for it.



A new keyboard is on order because honestly, typing on this current piece of crap is horrible, but I am worried about the inevitable getting-to-know-you period. Just, ugh. WHY WITH THE SPILLED TEA. WHY.

The idea of "Do What You Love" needs to die in a fire (also thanks to [personal profile] redheadfae for that one). Because seriously. FUCK THAT. I can't even say it's a nice idea because it's based in such utter discrimination and privilege. I mean, nice work if you can get it, bro, but don't tell people to Follow Their Bliss when they can't even be sure they're going to be able to pay for rent and groceries in a given month.

I've got a week left on my Whole30. NGL, I am looking forward to my glass of wine on February 1. Pretty sure that's gonna be my only indulgence, though. I played around with the idea of doing regular Whole30s through the year, thirty days on, one day off, thirty days on, wash, rinse, repeat, but I'm not sure how that's gonna play with all the travel I've got on the menu this year. I might just declare that I'm Strict Paleo-ing except when I don't want to and call it good.

Holy fucking shit, this fanvid. Some vague spoilers for Sherlock season 3.

The East Wind: A Sherlock AU trailer. What if there was no Fall? With John's help Sherlock is tracking down Moriarty's Web; but you can't expose the secrets without exposing yourself to the world's only consulting criminal who is determined to burn your heart out.


I've already picked up a few super cool folks from the Friending Frenzy I mentioned last night. HEY THERE NEW PEOPLE! Looking at the content of this post, it's pretty much a perfect representation of how I post and what I post about so if you're backing away slowly at this point, feel free to bail early. No hard feelings.
clevermanka: default (post-dance)
I am so making these potatoes for my Day Off (the Whole30) at the end of the month. WOW.

I'm obsessed with food right now. Well. Maybe not obsessed with food. Obsessed with eating. I feel hungry all the time. No idea if it's the hormone supplements or the resumed exercise, but JFC starving. I wake up hungry. Two hours after eating, I'm hungry. The only time I'm not hungry is right after exercise. TEDIOUS.

[livejournal.com profile] mckitterick and I have noticed decreased swelling around my midsection. I'm putting off measurements until the end of the month and the end of my Whole30, though.

The final episode of Season 3 Sherlock aired in the UK last night. I've been streaming them all (dubiously legally) so I wasn't spoiled from Tumblr and other conversations and also I just didn't want to wait. I wasn't sure how I felt after the first couple episodes (it was a very different show than I'd come to expect), but now that the season has wrapped, I feel good about it. There's so much to process, though, and TBH I'm weary of the stress of it. Thinking about it, being emotionally invested, and then just the stress (for me) of the basic technological stuff of making sure I had a working livefeed because People Were Coming Over and Counting On Me. Getting a whole season--a season very different from the first two, with a different message, different style, different filming techniques, different everything--thrown at us in less than three weeks was a lot. I have a post full of meta that I'll put up after the season airs here on PBS (starting next Sunday). More for my own benefit than anyone else's since the few Sherlock fans who read me watched the shows with the UK, too. Overall, I'm happy with it and I thought the third episode was Good and Satisfying. I just can't say more about it right now because Exhausted.

Yesterday was my first session with Andrew in a month where we picked up heavy weights. First he was sick, then I was sick, and then the gym was closed (so I had to exercise at home, with limited equipment), but KU is offering KU faculty and staff a free pass to Ambler Rec Center this week so even though Robinson (the crappy old student gym which I can still use for free) is closed, I can throw around some iron at Ambler. So yay! But anyway, my point was I got to lift heavy things for the first time in a month yesterday and it was awesome.

Because Crossfit Lawrence is changing their classtimes around a bit, the trainers are moving around their schedules as well. Andrew and I didn't have to change ours, but we shared the space yesterday with another trainer and his client. He was putting her through a more WOD-like program and oh my goodness was she groaning and complaining. Andrew commented that he always found it funny and interesting how people reacted to WODs. When I was doing them, I never really noticed anybody else because my entire focus was on Not Dying while doing my own. But I guess this sort of thing is pretty common. She was like "oh my god, I can't do another set" and the trainer was encouraging her like "yes you can, come on let me see five more wall balls you can do this." Even Andrew chimed in on the sideline cheering. And I couldn't help but think "My god, you are an adult woman. If you don't want to do the WOD, don't do it." It was just So Weird to me.

That sort of thing is incomprehensible to me in the same was as complaining about something you can't or won't change. I don't understand the concept of simply venting to vent. I sometimes talk about frustrating things because I think the audience might find the anecdote amusing, or I hash out something bothering me because it helps me find a way to deal with or change the situation. But complaining just to complain and feeling better for it? Unfathomable to me. People are weird.

I'm already looking forward to my four day weekend coming up at the end of this week. COME ON, THURSDAY AFTERNOON.
clevermanka: default (Default)
I am so making these potatoes for my Day Off (the Whole30) at the end of the month. WOW.

I'm obsessed with food right now. Well. Maybe not obsessed with food. Obsessed with eating. I feel hungry all the time. No idea if it's the hormone supplements or the resumed exercise, but JFC starving. I wake up hungry. Two hours after eating, I'm hungry. The only time I'm not hungry is right after exercise. TEDIOUS.

[personal profile] mckitterick and I have noticed decreased swelling around my midsection. I'm putting off measurements until the end of the month and the end of my Whole30, though.

The final episode of Season 3 Sherlock aired in the UK last night. I've been streaming them all (dubiously legally) so I wasn't spoiled from Tumblr and other conversations and also I just didn't want to wait. I wasn't sure how I felt after the first couple episodes (it was a very different show than I'd come to expect), but now that the season has wrapped, I feel good about it. There's so much to process, though, and TBH I'm weary of the stress of it. Thinking about it, being emotionally invested, and then just the stress (for me) of the basic technological stuff of making sure I had a working livefeed because People Were Coming Over and Counting On Me. Getting a whole season--a season very different from the first two, with a different message, different style, different filming techniques, different everything--thrown at us in less than three weeks was a lot. I have a post full of meta that I'll put up after the season airs here on PBS (starting next Sunday). More for my own benefit than anyone else's since the few Sherlock fans who read me watched the shows with the UK, too. Overall, I'm happy with it and I thought the third episode was Good and Satisfying. I just can't say more about it right now because Exhausted.

Yesterday was my first session with Andrew in a month where we picked up heavy weights. First he was sick, then I was sick, and then the gym was closed (so I had to exercise at home, with limited equipment), but KU is offering KU faculty and staff a free pass to Ambler Rec Center this week so even though Robinson (the crappy old student gym which I can still use for free) is closed, I can throw around some iron at Ambler. So yay! But anyway, my point was I got to lift heavy things for the first time in a month yesterday and it was awesome.

Because Crossfit Lawrence is changing their classtimes around a bit, the trainers are moving around their schedules as well. Andrew and I didn't have to change ours, but we shared the space yesterday with another trainer and his client. He was putting her through a more WOD-like program and oh my goodness was she groaning and complaining. Andrew commented that he always found it funny and interesting how people reacted to WODs. When I was doing them, I never really noticed anybody else because my entire focus was on Not Dying while doing my own. But I guess this sort of thing is pretty common. She was like "oh my god, I can't do another set" and the trainer was encouraging her like "yes you can, come on let me see five more wall balls you can do this." Even Andrew chimed in on the sideline cheering. And I couldn't help but think "My god, you are an adult woman. If you don't want to do the WOD, don't do it." It was just So Weird to me.

That sort of thing is incomprehensible to me in the same was as complaining about something you can't or won't change. I don't understand the concept of simply venting to vent. I sometimes talk about frustrating things because I think the audience might find the anecdote amusing, or I hash out something bothering me because it helps me find a way to deal with or change the situation. But complaining just to complain and feeling better for it? Unfathomable to me. People are weird.

I'm already looking forward to my four day weekend coming up at the end of this week. COME ON, THURSDAY AFTERNOON.

A new goal

Dec. 31st, 2013 08:57 am
clevermanka: default (changed priorities)
This is a very interesting and very NSFW commentary on bodies. From the description: Illusions of the Body was made to tackle the supposed norms of what we think our bodies are supposed to look like. Most of us realize that the media displays only the prettiest photos of people, yet we compare ourselves to those images. We never get to see those photos juxtaposed against a picture of that same person looking unflattering. That contrast would help a lot of body image issues we as a culture have.

It's a fitting concept for me as I finish what could be seen as I'm addressing as the failed goal of getting myself healthier in 2013. I learned a lot this year. I'm muscularly stronger than I was at the beginning of the year. I'm more accepting of my imperfect body. But am I overall healthier? Definitely not. I've had occasional upward spikes of health, but overall the trend since 2012 has most definitely been downward. The swelling issues are consistent and the Bad Days (where my belly winds up sticking out farther than my boobs) happen at least once a week instead of a couple times a month. My energy levels have more spikes (upward as well as downward). The insomnia is most certainly worse. So yeah, that goal? Not achieved. Can't say I didn't do my best, though.

For 2014, I'm documenting the minutia. I'll keep a journal with the following for every day:
Bedtime
Waking time
If I took all my supplements
If I ate anything not Whole30, note it
Energy levels for morning and afternoon
Type of exercise

Don't worry, I won't be posting all this on LJ.

I'm also doing a Whole30 for January and am considering doing a year-long Whole30 process where I do thirty days on, then take one day off, thirty days on, etc. It sounds daunting, but eating like I do now would have sounded daunting when I was still eating a standard diet.

So here's to my 2014 goal of Becoming More Informed and Educated about my body. If that goal isn't achieved, I have only myself to blame.

A new goal

Dec. 31st, 2013 08:56 am
clevermanka: default (Default)
This is a very interesting and very NSFW commentary on bodies. From the description: Illusions of the Body was made to tackle the supposed norms of what we think our bodies are supposed to look like. Most of us realize that the media displays only the prettiest photos of people, yet we compare ourselves to those images. We never get to see those photos juxtaposed against a picture of that same person looking unflattering. That contrast would help a lot of body image issues we as a culture have.

It's a fitting concept for me as I finish what could be seen as I'm addressing as the failed goal of getting myself healthier in 2013. I learned a lot this year. I'm muscularly stronger than I was at the beginning of the year. I'm more accepting of my imperfect body. But am I overall healthier? Definitely not. I've had occasional upward spikes of health, but overall the trend since 2012 has most definitely been downward. The swelling issues are consistent and the Bad Days (where my belly winds up sticking out farther than my boobs) happen at least once a week instead of a couple times a month. My energy levels have more spikes (upward as well as downward). The insomnia is most certainly worse. So yeah, that goal? Not achieved. Can't say I didn't do my best, though.

For 2014, I'm documenting the minutia. I'll keep a journal with the following for every day:
Bedtime
Waking time
If I took all my supplements
If I ate anything not Whole30, note it
Energy levels for morning and afternoon
Type of exercise

Don't worry, I won't be posting all this on LJ.

I'm also doing a Whole30 for January and am considering doing a year-long Whole30 process where I do thirty days on, then take one day off, thirty days on, etc. It sounds daunting, but eating like I do now would have sounded daunting when I was still eating a standard diet.

So here's to my 2014 goal of Becoming More Informed and Educated about my body. If that goal isn't achieved, I have only myself to blame.
clevermanka: default (against the ropes)
An email sent this morning from KU said "The SUA Carnival scheduled for this Saturday has been postponed due to weather and safety concerns." I don't have a window in my office, so I wondered what I was missing. Isolated thunderstorms tonight when I'm driving to and from KC. Awesome.

[livejournal.com profile] msmitti and I got to see Iron Sky on a theater screen in Independence last night. The movie was good! A lot better than I expected it to be. I went into it thinking it was going to be just a spoof film, but it had a lot of good social commentary and some decent (if predictable) character development. Of course there was a big contingent of the KC SF folks there, which was good and bad. Good because most of them are decent folks, but bad because a few of them aren't. And of course, one of the non-decent types (notoriously non-decent, with whom I've had run-ins before) sat behind me and made stupid, loud comments through a lot of the movie. I finally turned around and snapped at him "This is not MST3K. Shut your fucking pie hole." There wasn't a peep out of him the rest of the film. I should have done it earlier.

Got to bed by 10:30pm, but for some reason I couldn't fall asleep until after 11. Then I woke up at 4:30 and didn't really fall back asleep, so I went ahead and got up at 5:15 to go to CrossFit. So frustrating. I'm worried about making the drive to KC tonight for a party. The possibility of thunderstorms is making the whole excursion even more appealing.

CrossFit this morning was tough. It's always tough, but there was no skill work this morning (skill work is my favorite), and instead we did this WOD for time:

3x
400m run
21 kettlebell swings
12 pullups

I did it in sixteen minutes. I finished last, but I finished!

Oh, we also did the 400m run with a dumbbell for warm-up. So I ran that fucking 400m four times. Not fun.

Have I mentioned that three weeks of CrossFit and strict Whole30 eating have resulted in not a single inch or pound lost? So that's encouraging. There's nothing like positive results to encourage good habits.

I'm grumpy. I need a nap.
clevermanka: default (smoke)
A new Tumblr collection: Tuesday, August 21, Smoking 3.

Yesterday was my third (third?) visit with Dr. Khosh. He is keeping me on the stuff to decrease my estrogen, the adrenal support capsules, and the anti-anxiety/sleeping capsules. He added back in the original cortisol regulator tablets. I take two of the adrenal support pills and an anti-estrogen pill with breakfast; one adrenal support pill, an anti-estrogen pill, and one cortisol regulator pill with lunch; and an anti-estrogen pill and two cortisol regulators with dinner. Then two of the sleeping pills before bed.

I need another weekly pill-minder container.

I need to see some improvement in my abdominal swelling issues.

I need a massage.

I need to buy a winning lottery ticket.

Last night I decided to hit the fuck-it button and I opened a bottle of wine. It wasn't a very good wine (I think someone had brought it to one of parties or something--it wasn't something I would have purchased) and it was pretty awful. I had two sips and quit. I didn't have the inclination to open a new one. So I guess I'm still Whole30-ing it.

My appetite isn't so great the past few days. That's not helping to build muscle. I know I haven't been getting in 100g of starchy glucose every day, either. I am terrified of overdoing it with the starch. I wish there was something I could take that would be like "take two tablespoons twice a day for 100g of glucose." Incorporating bananas and such into my diet scares me because I worry it's a recipe for disaster. I have emotional eating issues when it comes to sweets, and being told I should eat more sugar (in whatever form) makes me uncomfortable. It took me a long time to beat the sugar demon and I don't want it back, thanks.

I'm concerned that I'm not eating enough, or eating too much, or not eating of protein/fat/carbs, or eating too much protein/fat/carbs. But even the idea of keeping a food diary is exhausting. Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to include something as simple as tuna salad in a food diary--when your tuna salad contains seven or eight ingredients, and is never the same twice? Or when you make mostly one-pot dinners and never measure while you're cooking? Or when your lunches are usually reheated dinners, and are usually frozen so you don't get tired of eating the same thing for two weeks and when you finally thaw it out you have no hope of remembering what all was in it, much less the quantity?

*sigh*

I did almost ninety minutes of mobility work this morning. Half an hour of rolling out my entire lower half (including some awkward maneuvering to roll out my adductors) and back, then nearly an hour of yoga. I was distressed to realize I can't get into plow pose anymore and my shoulder stand was wobbly and crooked because my back is tight (I looked like this, and could only hold it for about five breaths). On the plus side, side angle pose was great and I held it for a full ten breaths on each side. Yay for increasing lower body strength.

I'm committing to doing yoga on Tuesday and Thursday mornings when I don't go to Crossfit. This decreasing flexibility stops now.
clevermanka: default (gas mask)
Fans of SF films and TV shows who don't mind (or even like!) Nicki Minaj: go watch this vid.

The Avengers DVD is out in less than two weeks!

Today: Much sewing.

I haven't noticed a shred of improvement from abstaining from booze for two weeks. Not an inch lost (I've not been weighing myself), no increased energy, nothing. I'm wondering if it's worth keeping up with the Whole30. I know my mental health would be improved by a glass of wine...BLAH. Any thoughts?

I am strongly tempted by today's Tee Fury shirt.

Goal Post

Aug. 12th, 2012 02:07 pm
clevermanka: default (fullbody)
Last week's:
Eat super squeaky clean. Done.

Make it to CrossFit three times. Made it FOUR TIMES, yo.

No checking email after work. Two nights last week I was too tired to do anything else, and I didn't want to start a book that I wouldn't have time to finish, so I played around on LJ and Tumblr for an hour or so before it was late enough that I could go to bed. Better that than sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the wall--which was my other option.

I'm counting last week as a win, even if I don't get a perfect gold star.

This week:
Continue to eat super squeaky clean--and remember to eat those starchy glucose carbs. Yes, I actually forget to eat carbs now. Sweet potatoes are sitting right there on the counter by the stove, bananas are sitting on the refrigerator, and I still don't remember to eat them. Carby food just isn't in my reality anymore. SO WEIRD.

Practice dance at least one evening. Seriously, girl, you need to get your game on.

Finish the new dance costume for Smoker. The dyed silk came out beautiful (so beautiful I'm tempted to purchase the rest of the bolt so I can have it on hand for future costumes in any color I care to make it). I dropped $50 on chrome-plated chain for this yesterday, too. It's gonna be gorgeous.

Seen on Tumblr this morning:
i got 99 problems and society’s attitudes towards sex and sexuality is like 98 of them

clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
Today's Tumblr collection: Monday, August 6, Lips

I went to Crossfit this morning.
Warm-Up:
One arm Dumbbell OH Squat x15 (each arm) I did five pounds
One arm Dumbbell Snatch x10 (each arm) I did ten pounds

Skill:
Front Squat 10×2 (work up to max double) (I maxed at 75#)
Back Squat 5×8

WOD:
3 rounds:
30 Wall Ball (20/14) I did 15 with the 8-lb ball
30 Squat Snatch (75/55) I did 15 per arm with a 15-lb dumbbell, alternating arms

My shoulders are really tight after those snatches.

Getting home and ready for work in time was a challenge, but if I resign myself to never wearing makeup to the office ever again I can make the 6am WOD work. Morning exercise is so much better for me, mentally and logistically.

Chevelle stuff happened yesterday, but I gotta get to work. More on that tomorrow.

We watched 21 Jump Street again last night, before it's due to be returned today. God damn that movie is funny. I'm gonna buy it.

Oh, and today is Day One of my Whole30Rest of the Month. I shall be having a celebratory mug of wine after Smoker on KCRF's opening day. And after Smoker every day after that.
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
After reading [livejournal.com profile] shrijani's recent success with cutting out starchy stuff when she ate fat, I thought I would give it a try myself. A week into it, and things are not going well for me.

I have reached new levels of swelling: a 34" waist yesterday, and there was an indent around my entire midsection at the line of my navel--so my upper abdomen was terribly swollen as well. It was very hard to the touch. I measured 40" at my navel--the same as my hip measurement. My energy levels are super low, and I've had to lie down for a nap (even if I can't fall asleep) every day this week. I can also feel myself becoming depressed. So much for a productive vacation!

This morning, a friend mentioned Paleo for Women on her blog. She specifically called out an article on the need for some women to increase carbohydrate intake, especially women suffering with thyroid and adrenal problems.

Glucose is necessary for the conversion of T4 to T3 in the liver. Certainly, the liver is capable of producing its own glucose with gluconeogenesis, but that process can become taxed over time, particularly if the woman’s liver is already taxed from poor eating habits in the past, mineral deficiencies, stress, or caloric restriction. Instead, when a woman ingests glucose, she assures that her liver does not have to work overtime. She provides the glucose that her brain needs, rather than forcing her body to make its on its own. This helps the body function more efficiently and with less stress in general, but it also specifically optimizes thyroid activity. Hypothyroidism is implicated in mood disorders, reproductive irregularities such as PCOS and amenorrhea, in skin conditions, and in weight gain, among other things. Many women, contrary to popular paleo belief, in fact lose weight once they add carbohydrates back into their diets.

The author recommends starchy glucose as the best way to up one's carb intake, if this is the situation. She suggests:

Starchy tubers such as sweet potatoes, batata, jerusalem artichoke, cassava, taro, and bamboo. Regular potatoes are fine, too, but they contain fewer vitamins than their sweet counterparts...For fruits, I recommend berries and cherries, which contain more glucose than fructose, and also bananas, which are pure 100 calorie glucose bombs.

She also recommends eating the starchy glucose late in the day, because carbohydrates taken later in the day help with insulin sensitivity (since that gives the body the longest amount of time throughout a 24 hour period to operate at low insulin and leptin levels). They also, anecdotally, help put people to sleep. This is contrary to everything I've ever heard before, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

There's lots of good information in the comments, too.

I'm adding bananas and sweet potatoes to the grocery list.

Once my vacation is over, and for the rest of the month, I'll be Whole30-ing. Which, considering how I already eat, just means no booze and no restaurant or store-prepared food. I've got to get my body under control or I'm not going to be able to perform at Smoker.

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