Jinxed it

Sep. 18th, 2015 07:23 am
clevermanka: default (crap)
I knew I shouldn'tve mentioned I was sleeping well. Been up since 2. Dozed a tiny bit in the four and a half hours since I woke, but never really slept. And it thundering right now, so no point in staying home to sleep.

Actual footage of me getting ready for work this morning:

ETA: At work now and drinking a sample tea I received in the mail couple weeks ago. I've been saving it for A Necessary Morning and if today doesn't fit that descriptor, I don't know what would. And oh my god people this shit is delicious. God damn. I will never buy it because my adrenals and I don't need extra caffeinated tea made available to us on a regular basis. But if you're a heavy caffeine user and you like Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal, I highly recommend giving this stuff a try.

2nd Update: And now the building AC is out. Again.
clevermanka: default (post-dance)
This is me, enjoying my second year of not gearing up for KCRF. Feels good, y'all.

What doesn't feel all that great is the sneaking suspicion that my ongoing headache might be caused by that tooth that needs fixing. Even though the tooth doesn't feel sore at all, the pressure/pain is definitely on that side of my face and most of what I thought was sinus pressure is located right around that area. Soooooo I decided not to wait for a combo filling/impression for bite guard appointment (I have to wait a month for insurance to come through on the bite guard business) and made an appointment to fix the tooth on Thursday of next week. Yay. That's henna day, too, so my henna partners will have a lovely time avoiding my drool and the random henna spill.

I am thinking really hard about taking a vacation day tomorrow for a four-day weekend. My reasons for not just going ahead and doing it are weird and complicated and I'm honestly not sure I understand what's going on in my head, so if someone wants to chime in with thoughts, they're welcome. Basically, I feel like I'll be seen as slacking because I already took off so much time in July. This happened before, where I took off a lot of time in single-day increments and was reprimanded for it and it was complete BS (I mean, it's my vacation time to use as I see fit, right?) but it still bothers me. The other reason is utterly ridiculous. Basically I'm below 175 hours of vacation (172 to be exact) and for some reason that makes me...miserly of my vacation time. One hundred and seventy two hours, though. Come on, Manka. Jesus.

I would like to get some sewing done this weekend, but my dance card for the weekend is filling up in unexpected ways. Not all bad, just unexpected.

I dunno. I dunno. Blah. But at least I'm not sewing last-minute costume stuff for Renaissance Festival. That is a good thing.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha WELL the grad director just stopped in my office on her way out the door and there's something we need to work on together and since she can't stay to do it today she wants to do it tomorrow so I guess that's that decided.
clevermanka: default (crap)
The awesome, giant, color laser printer beast that we just bought new toner cartridges for earlier this summer.

Weird, fucked-up paper jams the likes of which I've never seen and I used to work at a public campus computer lab.
clevermanka: default (post-dance)
Something I forgot to mention in my earlier posts about Con*Strict was the vid show. I la-la-la-love fanvids, and this was my first con with a vid show. It's not surprising how group watching escalated the feels--just like watching a movie or a concert with a large, receptive audience intensifies the experience.

Here's one of the vids from the Con*Strict vid show, done by one of the attending members. It was my favorite for two reasons which are not difficult to determine.

More of my fave vids from the show )

Yesterday I wore one of my re-fashioned outfits (a dress made from pieces of four tee shirts) with a pair of bloomers underneath (just long enough for the lace to peek out from under the dress). I felt like I was in my PJs all day. I'm looking forward to having more of those in my closet. Also looking forward to the practice (from making my own) so I can start making them to sell. I'm going to need to invest in a small mannequin for that, so if anyone local sees one for cheap, let me know. This is not as outrageous of a request as it seems--Lawrence has some unlikely thrift and dumpster finds.

Speaking of style, I avoid wearing gloves as a fashion statement because I think they're a little fussy (it's hard to actually do anything while wearing them). Fingerless gloves would solve a lot of the problem, but they've always seemed so...pretentious. These might change my mind. Fuck pretentious. Those are JEWELRY. I mean, Christ, just look at those things.

One of the reasons I've never considered becoming a yoga instructor is that the market is so glutted here in Lawrence. A conversation with [livejournal.com profile] ms_danson made me wonder about the possibility of doing a yoga podcast, though. I picture a website that has a basic dictionary of poses as well as individual pages on the site. Each page would have a list of images of the particular poses for whatever the focus of that page's series, and a link to listen or download a voice narration for the series. People could request a theme, goal, or focus for a series once a month or something. Doesn't that sound great? Now there's motivation to do a teacher training course. Someday. In my copious spare time with all my excess energy.

Energy levels are still shit, and the ridges in my fingernails are back. The index and middle fingernails have them now, too. The thumbnails look and feel like washboards. Ugh. So demoralizing. I see Dr. Jonah on Thursday and I'm going to talk about re-upping my mineral supplements that we started decreasing two months ago. I feel like earlier this summer my energy levels were better. I'm done with waking up tired. This regressing business is for the birds.

We shopped for phones last night. It was hellish. I think I'm going to wind up with a Galaxy S6. [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick is price shopping because for what we want, it's cheaper to buy our own unlocked phones and get a month-to-month plan through T-Mobile (which is what some local friends did who are very happy with their service). I have to admit, these newfangled phones are awful pretty. And it will be nice to have a phone that doesn't randomly turn itself back on. Or refuse to disable the Mute function. But oh my goodness they're so difficult for me to use. Touch screens do not react well to my skin, and there's something about my electrical charge that makes things go a little nutty. When someone asks me to take a picture with their phone, it always turns off or goes to a different screen or something. Beyond that, though, there's my concern about having internet access 24/7. I'm honestly relieved that the Tumblr phone app is so bad because I see myself easily becoming That Person.

Tomorrow I am a panelist for the Kansas Women’s Leadership Institute conference. Last year I served as a panelist on a university-wide presentation for graduate-level support staff and was in the pilot group for KU's new online catalog software (a nine-month project). I need to remember to put this shit in my end-of-year review. I don't think anyone (including myself) realizes how much I actually do around here.

Which...I guess I should do something now to prepare for tomorrow's presentation.
clevermanka: default (blah)
Obviously they have not fixed the AC problem. They thought they did, but neglected to contact anyone in the affected building to confirm the problem was actually fixed. Typical.

I have an appointment with Dr. Jonah tonight and instead of driving back to Lawrence, I'm staying the night in KC with [livejournal.com profile] miischelle so I have only a half-hour drive to the airport tomorrow morning instead of a 75-90 minute drive. That's good, because this is, I think, gonna be a full flight and I don't want to get on it with an hour and a half in the car behind me. I checked in online this morning, fifteen minutes after the slot opened up for online cattle call (ugh, Southwest), and I'm in the second half of B boarding group. For a 5:30am flight. Ugh. I decided to check my luggage. I don't want to be That Person trying to find space in an overhead bin. It's a non-stop flight so hopefully nothing will go wrong.

My stomach is so swollen today it's touching the keyboard rest of my standing desk. Compared to this image, I am equivalent to the fifth stage of this image (first image on bottom row). Much big. So discomfort.

God it's so fucking hot in here. My office has no air movement. This is miserable. It's not even noon.

I am strongly tempted to tap out early today.
clevermanka: default (shake shake shake)
Thanks to those who offered insight and experiences on yesterday's question about my menstrual stuff. I'm so glad to be at a point in my life where I am comfortable talking about a normal body function without being embarrassed. Sincere appreciation to those friends who are in the same place with me. I think I'm going to mention these issues to my doctor next time I see her, but I'm not going to worry about it too much for now.

This Breaking Muscle article about how we perceive our daily activity affects our health is fascinating.

If you're a Kindle owner and want a new cookbook (and aren't vegetarian), consider picking up Melissa Joulwan's two amazing contributions to the Paleo Eating community. They're on sale for $1.99 each on Kindle right now.

There is talk of a few crafting panels at Con*Strict, including origami and a make-a-purse-from-a-book. Y'all, I might have found my people.

Today's my last day at the office this week.

clevermanka: default (gray boots)
All these links I'm posting for posterity/my own reference when I can finally push my body again. Not sure whether they're motivating or depressing. Anyway. Working into middle/side splits.

I tried one of my fancy new serger stitches this weekend and it didn't work, but I did learn some things. I'm much more confident about a successful re-thread of the machine happening within three attempts, and cover stitch takes a really long time to rip out and leaves holes in your fabric. But hey! Practice.

You might consider checking out the Alameda county fair pig race that Mallory Ortberg posted on the Toast today.

I'm not sure if I lost my box of Clever Manka calling/business cards or if I actually gave away 100 of those things. In any case, I need to order more if I want them for Con*Strict which dear god is so much sooner than I'm ready for. This weekend is [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick's birthday weekend (also the first full weekend he's home since May 23rd), next weekend I'm in Indy visiting my parents, and then...Con*Strict. Not a lot of time to get stuff done for it.

I would like to make myself some travel clothes. The dress I put together this weekend came out super cute (despite the failed cover stitch) and I'd like to have two of those to take, along with some re-fashioned leggings, but...there's also the fact I learned this weekend that this con is small enough I get to make my own badge for it. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT. Oh hell yes.

More opportunities to practice art! What a fun thing and rare to make my own con badge. Definitely something Mad Max themed. Pretty sure I'm gonna use this image as the base. ALSO I found someone who says she'd like to receive the altered portrait of Furiosa when I finish it. Knowing I have an owner lined up for a piece of art is so helpful for me. Obviously the portrait isn't even gonna get started before I return from Las Vegas. And the badge obviously has the priority before new clothes. If only I didn't have this pesky day job.

Seriously, though, looking at the calendar of my current vacation days for July, I'm only in the office thirteen days for the month. That will get my accrued vacation time below 200 hours for the first time in five years.
clevermanka: default (ass2)
Seen on the Toast:Click for large-ish image )

My reactions to Jurassic World on Twitter and Tumbr.

I am so so so tired today. So tired. Woke up tired. Still tired. Just...tired. Tired all around tired.

Probably not helping is I've had very little appetite for three days. Pretty much all I ate this weekend was carrot salad and beef jerky. And seltzer water. So much seltzer water. I also made a pitcher of cucumber-mint infused water which was delicious.

I wasn't tired this weekend at all, despite not eating much. I got so much done and it was fantastic. I made another apron because I was unhappy with the fit of Apron 2 (in fact, if someone wants it, let me know--it's a size Medium and is black and blue Hawaiian fabrics), and I got food prep done on Saturday because of Jurassic World taking up Sunday afternoon, and I went thrifting, and I cleaned the house a little bit, and I read some fic and it was all so great!

Hm. Maybe this fatigue is psychological. Because I just don't want to be at work today. The Campbell Conference is over, the other secretary is back in the office, the grad director is out of town, I've cleaned out my inbox, and there is really very little I need to do here. Why am I here, again?

It's gonna be a long day.
clevermanka: default (gray boots)
Well I'm going to Con*Strict in July. That was unexpected. See? I can do spontaneous.

A zillion thanks to [livejournal.com profile] splix for her influence and assistance in helping me make my decision to go. I think this will be a good con for me. It's small, it's in Las Vegas, and two of the panel topics are The Women of Mad Max and Fuck You Joss Whedon (not really, but there's a decidedly anti-Joss-"feminism" slant to the panel title).

I wrapped up everything I need to do for the Campbell Conference this morning. We have a record number of preregistered attendees this year, so that's pretty cool. So close to being done with CSSF stuff, y'all. There are still a few things that could come up at this point (things I'd have to deal with), but not much.

Some people talked to me about Muse's latest album yesterday (not on LJ though) and I finally realized what it is about it. Drones is all of Muse's bad qualities, on one album, with very few of their good ones. Now that I can put my finger on what was putting me off about it, I feel better about writing this one off as a loss. I guess every artist is eventually going to put out something that disappoints. I've had several musicians disappoint me with their recent follow-up albums. IMO, One Direction's Four is mostly tedious except for one or two songs, Gaga's Artpop is basically unlistenable, Katy Perry's Prism has more misses than hits, Enrique's Sex+Love has way too much Pitbull for me to enjoy it, Maroon 5's V is just dull. It has not been a good time for me and new pop releases is what I'm saying. The one pop album that didn't disappoint was Taylor Swift's 1989. It's her first marketed-as-pop album and (notably) the first album of hers that I've liked all the way through.

So I'm thinking it's time to start looking outside of pop for a while again. My faves seem to be in a slump. Recently recommended to me were Finger Eleven, Elbow, and Dredg. Here's hoping I take a shine to one of them because I really need some new music that I like.
clevermanka: default (srsly?)
Statement about state employee furloughs )

Pretty much what I expected. A half-assed, worthless excuse for a solution that's just going to cause worse shortfalls in a matter of months (if we're lucky).
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
I got some clarification from [livejournal.com profile] frugurl27 in the comments yesterday and then this morning in an email from KU's HR department about the furloughs and they will affect us in regards to the new fiscal year, starting June 7. So I still have a paycheck coming. That's nice!

Also nice: Last night I had enough energy after dinner to work on a new apron. My old one was (frankly) disgusting from nearly ten years of use and stains. I didn't quite get it done, but I'll be able to wrap it up tonight if my energy levels are similar to yesterday. But after last night's thunderstorms (at 3:00a and again at 4:30a), that's...not a certainty.

Also also nice: My left hip is hurting much less. It's only a teensy bit sore/achey now instead of nearly-debilitating. The improvement is, I think, a combination of starting to lose a bit of weight after a week of conscientious eating, easing up a bit on the PT exercises, and not sleeping with a pillow under my knees.

Someone on FB shared this with me today: Rejected Princesses. I'm not sure I like attaching the term "princess" to most of these women (and I'm not sure they would either), but the website itself is great.

Anybody who is on Tumblr these days (at least in the circles I'm in) knows it's kind of All Tom Hardy All The Time which is a nice change. I am 100% thrilled to see his face instead of Blenderdick Candycrush's (admittedly pretty but not as interesting to me) mug plastering my dash. Here's a sample of what I'm seeing for probably thirty to forty percent of my dash these days:


There are so few people around the building this morning that the motion-activated lights in the hall outside my office just turned off.


Miss Piggy honored with a Sackler Center First Award from the Elizabeth A. Sackler Center for Feminist Art at the Brooklyn Museum

Gonna wrap this up with a story about yesterday. There's this house between mine and campus. It's always been a rental and it's always been little sketchy. Cinderblock construction, overgrown front yard, beer bottles and overflowing ashtrays on the porch, you get the idea. Lately there's been a really nice 70s Honda motorcycle sitting outside and once or twice I've seen a guy working on it. A few weeks ago I passed the house when the garage was open and it was packed with maybe ten ratty old bikes with maybe some scooters mixed in. Just a ton of junked-out bikes. So obviously this person does repairs/restorations and if that Honda is any indication, he's pretty good. Yesterday, someone posted to this to a local FB group. That's totally this guy's bike. So I thought I'd stop by on my way home and see if the dude was home and let him know. As I was walking up to the door, I had that This Is A Terrible Idea feeling. The house was dark and even the front smelled (from the beer bottles and overflowing ashtrays). There was yard work stuff piled in the doorway, covered in cobwebs and dirt, and the storm door was broken and hung open. The doorbell was broken, too, and when I knocked on the inside door I was honestly relieved that nobody answered. Fucking creepy house.

And that's the story of how I avoided being the victim of an axe murderer this week.

Furry Road

Jun. 4th, 2015 12:36 pm
clevermanka: default (ass2)
This collection of mash-ups has been playing since I discovered it on Tumblr this morning.

I'll be making some modifications to it (obviously), but now that I've figured out how to make a cream-style dressing that I can eat, wedge salads are back on my menu and this recipe (found linked on The Toast) gives a fantastic tutorial on making a good one.

I'm ordering this. If you're local and want one, let me know by 10am tomorrow and we can split shipping. Click for pic )

Next time I'm thrifting, I'll keep my eyes peeled for an old bundt pan because hanging this for the squirrels is going to be comedy gold, y'all.

There are rumors that university support staff here might be furloughed and I'm actually okay with that because even without [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick's generous financial support, I have enough in savings to get by a couple months with no income. However, what concerns me (i.e. pisses me off) is it sounds like we might actually not get paid tomorrow for the previous two weeks. Is that legal? I don't think that's legal and I realize businesses do illegal things all the fucking time, but this seems really...blatant? I understand that thanks to our fuckwad of a governor, the state is in a huge mess but you best pay me for work already done assholes.

There are actually things going on today that I need to do, so that's about it for today. We had a fire alarm this morning that kept me out of the building for about half an hour, so that was fun.
clevermanka: default (secretary)
I just realized what is currently bogging me down in my job (I was doing great there for a couple weeks, but not so much now). It's listening to the other secretary chat incessantly (seriously, for hours a day) in the hallway, close enough to my office that I can follow the conversation with ease. I'm very capable of tuning things out, but her voice is so clear and the fact that she spends so much of the day just chatting (while I seem to pick up more work every semester) irritates the fuck out of me and I can't ignore it.

My solution: I'm going to wear my earbuds in both ears so as to be able to ignore her. If someone complains, I'm gonna tell them exactly why I'm doing it. I need to get my ass in gear here, I'm having a hell of a time doing it, and I have a possible remedy for what's keeping me from effectively doing my job. Anyone has a problem with it, they can find me a different solution (like eliminating the fucking problem) or they can take a good, long look at my middle finger.

Detailed thoughts about Tim the PT guy and my conversation with Star coming soon. Quick synopsis, though:
clevermanka: default (tasty ham)
Icon for no other reason than the Darling Rats tumblr has been particularly cute of late and I am missing my Hefner boy today.

Looking through that photoset (my photo-a-day tracking my 39th year) gives me some feels. My pets! My glasses! My growing-out hair (which was a PITA but did look pretty good for growing-out I gotta say)! Eating at restaurants! So much booze! I look at those photos and I see me. But as the year progresses, I see myself slipping into un-health, even though I didn't recognize it at the time. Earlier in the year, my moods are still variable--I look happy in some, grumpy in others, but I'm in some way engaged. By the end, the photos start to look monotonous and I can tell I'm sort of calling it in. Which might be due to being tired of the 365 project, but I think it's more than that. I did another 365 project a couple years later and I have the same issue with not looking like an active participant for pretty much the entire year. [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick has asked me more than once to do another project like this, but I cannot bring myself to even think about taking a photo of myself every day.

Which makes me think maybe I've been depressed on some level since late 2009? That...sucks.

This morning I realized why I hate so much doing stuff for the CSSF. I have no connection or investment with anyone but [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick. With the graduate students I have a sort of condensed cradle-to-grave relationship with them while they're in the graduate program. With the summer people, not at all. They're like retail customers.

The revelation came to me when I arrived this morning and a grad student came to ask me about fixing the printers in the grad student lab before I even got my computer turned on. It didn't bother me in the slightest that I had to go deal with a printer (ugh printers are the worst) before I'd settled in. In fact, it felt kind of nice to offer such immediate help first thing in the morning. If that had been a CSSF issue, I wouldn't have had the same emotional response. I have no involvement or motivation for helping them and honestly there's nothing that's going to develop the sort of relationship like I have with the graduate students.

It's no wonder my job dissatisfaction tends to crest this time of year, as I'm gearing up for summer CSSF stuff. If I wasn't doing that stuff, this would be the easiest time of my year and I could look forward to summer. Instead, I dread the end of the spring semester and I honestly have not had a memorably good summer since...2006? Whenever I took over management of the CSSF summer program logistics. That sucks. It also sucks that I have no idea how to stop doing it. It was great when someone took over management of the Campbell Conference, but it wasn't enough. I want so much for someone else to deal with the summer writing and institute bullshit because god damn it, I am tired of not enjoying my springs and summers.

Last night's chanting was lovely and so far I'm very much liking their new CD. The last track, which they performed second-to-last was especially lovely. I could pick out a high harmony and started singing it softly, which Kaminaya maybe could hear because she invited people "Please harmonize if you wish" after the third call-and-response and enough people did that it sounded amazing. Since I gave up on maintaining my voice years (decades) ago, kirtans are the only time I do any group singing. Even though I don't buy into a shred of the religious aspects, I do think singing with others can be a spiritually fulfilling experience. I don't need to do it frequently, but it's nice once in a while. Everybody is always so happy at these things, too, and while I will never be that happy of a person (it's just not my nature and that's fine), it's fun to see people being so unabashedly joyful for a couple hours.

I don't want or need to feel that kind of bliss all the time, but I would like to get back to my mental space of early 2009--at least what I see represented in those photos. But I don't even remember what that was like. How do I get back there from here? I haven't a clue.


Apr. 21st, 2015 09:26 am
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
Ugh. So yesterday I was gonna do that piriformis mobility thing but by the time I got home from work my back was so fucked I couldn't even walk very well. I spent the evening in bed with fic and a heating pad. I think I need to give it a couple days off.

The other secretary is back from her vacation today, so at least I can do my hourly walk-arounds, again. That'll help quite a bit.

I put in a request to my PCP to see if I can get a referral to the MovNat guy in KC. It's on the Missouri side, though, so I don't know if that's doomed. If I can get the referral, it'll go through my insurance which would be really nice.

A friend of mine offered space in a hotel room at DragonCon and I said yes but now I'm having second thoughts. It's pretty expensive. With the con badge, hotel, and airfare, it'll wind up costing more than Comic-Con (since I had free rooming for that). There's the hassle of packing up four day's worth of food again (since I won't have friends feeding me from their kitchen), the idea of spending that much time around that much people I don't know at all, and not having a definite place I can flee for solitude. I'm not sure the experience will be worth the figurative and literal price. I hate turning down the opportunity, but now that I've had a couple days to consider, I'm not sure I want to do this. Thoughts?

Fashion talk! I went thrifting with [livejournal.com profile] julii_wolfe last week because I had (not kidding) two workable office outfits for summer. I gave her the directions "camo colors and black, texture is good but no design prints, knits only, medium tops for underlayers, medium or large for overlayers." She's a good shopping partner. She found several great pieces for me (she's the one who discovered the three major finds of the day) and didn't get hurt or offended when I turned down half of the stuff she pulled. I'm wearing one of them today. I need to find a way to photograph my outfits, at least for a while, to help track and inspire different combinations. I'm still navigating myself through my new style aesthetic. It's fun.

I want to hit the KC/Independence area thrifts soon, but I'm loathe to give up a Saturday.

This morning I woke up hungry again, so I made myself an actual breakfast, with duck eggs, and am feeling okay.

And speaking of fashion, today's Tumblr is Tuesday, April 21: Coats. Appropriate for the temperatures here today.
clevermanka: default (secretary)
Until I get my appointment with the MovNat guy in KC, here is a set of body-straightening exercises to help alleviate internal rotation issues before a workout. I love how Breaking Muscle sometimes seems to magically intuit what I need.

I think I will never fully grasp the ability of humans to insist that the world (and other people) are other than what they themselves want the world to be. There are people who've known me for more than a decade who insist on my treating them as superior just because of their status. No, dude. I don't respect anyone who doesn't respect me as an equal human being.

Those fancy letters after your name don't make you better, smarter, or more deserving of deference. To be honest, the only thing those fancy letters after your name tell me is that you spent some time studying one particular thing. I'll recognize you as more informed about that one subject, and that's pretty much it. TBH, I think that attitude is what has made me so successful in this job and respected by the people in university-level administration roles.


Mar. 20th, 2015 09:16 am
clevermanka: default (dS icon 1)
It's Friday! Before we party, let's start with body stuff.

First, a recommendation find: Overhead squats are my most feared (yes, feared) lift. Frankly, they terrify me. I'm a bit unsteady in even a basic weighted squat, but I feel downright unstable in the overhead squat and I have actually fallen over backward while in the bottom of one. With weight overhead. In a full squat. I am still proud of myself for bailing out under it correctly and nobody was hurt, but still. The overhead squat is really, really scary to me. If you're in the same boat, the trouble might not all be in your hips. Here are a couple mobility drills to open up your thoracic spine which will allow that gorgeous, broad, open chest and strong uplifted arms that are crucial to a successful overhead squat. I'm going to add at least the first one to my Restorative Yoga Collection because honestly it looks gloriously soothing.

Next, a personal find: I mentioned a little bit ago about my newly-smooth thumbnails after decades of them looking like tiny washboards. I now have little half-moons under my fingernails. Used to be I only had half-moons under my thumbs and the fingernails were just solid pink beds. No more! Circulation and oxygen supply must be vastly improved because I have at least a suggestion of a moon under every finger. The pinkies are barely there, but they're there! So exciting! Visible progress like this is incredibly rewarding.

Yesterday was my monthly supplementation consultation with Dr. Jonah. We're phasing out the digestion treatment, continuing with the endocrine support (decreasing amounts on that was an informative experiment but not one I'm going to repeat for a while), and starting work on gut flora--clearing out overgrowth and bad stuff as well as re-populating the good stuff. If this helps my abdominal swelling issues, it will make having my period at 221B Con so much easier.

Last night I slept pretty well. Cramps woke me only twice, and the second time I was able to fall back asleep after taking a Naproxen. SLEEP IS SO GOOD. But before bed (and by "before bed" I mean "immediately after eating dinner"), I settled myself into bed with herbal soothers, a heating pad, and my laptop to indulge in some fic-reading. I'm going through an old LJ community for due South fic recs and found this story that was really touching and a slow build to some very steamy and sweet sex. The comm has been inactive for more than ten years, so a lot of the URLs don't work anymore. I'm glad that one did. Sorry I can't give you the comm name--I have it as an open tab on my home computer and I can't find it in an LJ search.

Update on that DIY Vitamin C Serum I mentioned a couple weeks ago: It's pretty fucking amazing. I just upped the percentage of LAA to 10% in the batch I made last night, but even at 5% I was seeing skin quality improvement. In fact, last weekend [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick said something like "I don't know what you're using on your face lately, but your skin looks twenty years old." Granted, I have anti-aging genes and not a lot of wrinkles, but the little pre-crow's-feet lines next to my eyes are gone and my naso-labial folds are as minimized as they're going to get on someone with my size nose and cheekbones. Also, just the overall skin quality is improved. And because of the tiny bit of glycerin included in the mix, I don't have to use any sort of additional moisturizer. I'm going to have to be super careful about slathering on the SPF this summer, though. Probably gonna switch to this SPF this summer to avoid those chin-breakouts I'm prone to.

If anyone local wants to try the serum for themselves, I'm willing to part with a half teaspoon of the LAA powder I ordered to get you started. Once mixed, it's good for a week before it deteriorates. But it will give you a sense of how your skin reacts. Bring your own dropper container, though!

I'm all alone in the office today \o/ and am very much looking forward to the weekend. I am dreading the task of getting the house organized for the student-recruitment visit reception on Monday. Thinking we probably would feel better getting that out of the way as soon as possible, but I'm pretty sure we'll put it off until Sunday night just like I said I didn't want to but it's the weekend.


Mar. 2nd, 2015 10:38 am
clevermanka: default (Respirator)
How can I incorporate this concept into my daily wear wardrobe. Yes, I am entirely serious.

Work bullshit has escalated to a ridiculous degree, so not a lot of time to be on here today.

Yesterday got away from me and I completely lost track of time. I will be posting (and backdating) my Intentional Movement Report at some point this week, along with the detailed pose sequences. I'll let you know when that goes up.

clevermanka: default (it's hell)
I dislike the title of this article, because it makes it sound like inflammation is the only cause of depression, but the rest of the article is another good example of more evidence in the mind/body connection.

Speaking of depression, I'm having some problems that have me teetering on the edge right now.

My sleep issues returned after a blissful two months of my sleeping through the night (that was wonderful). For a week, I've been waking up three or four times a night and having problems returning to sleep. At first I thought I was too warm, but now I think it's something else. Dr. Khosh put me on a different testosterone supplement and I'm wondering if that's the culprit. It could also be that Dr. Jonah started scaling back my endocrine supplements. I resumed the previous dosages of the endocrine stuff yesterday and if I'm not sleeping better after the weekend I'm going back to my old testosterone supplements to see if that helps. I haven't had a single night with three consecutive hours of sleep in over a week.

Work is frustrating me for reasons I'm not gonna go into here. I'll just say I've never been as close to quitting this job as I was yesterday afternoon.

The new receptionist at Dr. Jonah's asked me on Tuesday what I did. I hate answering that question with a response about my employment, but I honestly couldn't think of what else to answer. Right now my life is: work, food prep, eating, cleaning up after eating, and (five days a week) yoga. Like, that's it. No social activities outside of chatting with [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick during meals or before bed, and our Wednesday night burgers with a small group of friends, which can be filed under "eating." No art projects. I haven't even had the energy to sew a pair of commissioned bloomers for [livejournal.com profile] hdsqrl that would take me one measly hour.

Last night I got home from work and was so fatigued I lay down on the couch to re-charge before we went for burgers at 6:30. I woke up at 6:20. I don't even remember falling asleep (or trying to). Just lying down and pulling a blanket over me, then it was an hour later.

Those blissful good energy levels of last month might as well be a dream world for all I can remember how they felt or how to regain them. I'm usually more positive than this, but today? God, I'm just tired of things being such a fucking struggle.


clevermanka: default (Default)

April 2017

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