clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2005-11-30 09:45 am
clevermanka) wrote2005-11-30 09:45 am
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I don't think it's going to happen this year
"It" being me mentally steeling myself for winter. Every winter for the past five years, I've thought "Oh this gets worse every year." The endless cold, the constant chill in my nose, hands and feet--it feels like it gets a little worse. I realize it isn't really getting colder, it's me getting less able to bear it. The past couple mornings I've driven myself to work because I can't bear to be outside in the windy cold for the twenty minutes it takes to get to and from campus. As I drove ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
adammaker down to his parking lot yesterday afternoon, I told him that not only was I not prepared for winter this year, I wasn't entirely sure it was going to happen at all for me.
I think a lot of people don't understand what it means for me to be Cold. But picture this: That time you went camping and forgot to pack the thermal sleeping bag--remember how it felt to be so uncomfortably cold that you couldn't sleep? Or the time a pre-season winter storm blew in and you discovered your furnace didn't work? The hours of feeling colder and colder until you lost most tactile sensation in your extremities. This is not the cold of coming in after a snowball fight, cheeks red and lungs burning from laughing in the cold. This is Bone Cold. And for me, it lasts until Spring. Months and months of being cold to the point of discomfort. Gallons of hot tea and blankets offer temporary relief, but the only time I'm truly warm is first thing in the morning when I wake up (my wacky metabolism causes me to run a slight fever when I'm sleeping but during waking hours my temperature is around 97.5 or so).
So please excuse me if decline invitations out. Don't feel I'm avoiding you. It's just so very difficult for me to force myself outside, even for a brief moment, once I've finally settled in with my hot drink and heating pad. But unless I can figure out a solution to make this winter cold bearable I'll be nesting in my home for most of the foreseeable future.
adammaker down to his parking lot yesterday afternoon, I told him that not only was I not prepared for winter this year, I wasn't entirely sure it was going to happen at all for me. I think a lot of people don't understand what it means for me to be Cold. But picture this: That time you went camping and forgot to pack the thermal sleeping bag--remember how it felt to be so uncomfortably cold that you couldn't sleep? Or the time a pre-season winter storm blew in and you discovered your furnace didn't work? The hours of feeling colder and colder until you lost most tactile sensation in your extremities. This is not the cold of coming in after a snowball fight, cheeks red and lungs burning from laughing in the cold. This is Bone Cold. And for me, it lasts until Spring. Months and months of being cold to the point of discomfort. Gallons of hot tea and blankets offer temporary relief, but the only time I'm truly warm is first thing in the morning when I wake up (my wacky metabolism causes me to run a slight fever when I'm sleeping but during waking hours my temperature is around 97.5 or so).
So please excuse me if decline invitations out. Don't feel I'm avoiding you. It's just so very difficult for me to force myself outside, even for a brief moment, once I've finally settled in with my hot drink and heating pad. But unless I can figure out a solution to make this winter cold bearable I'll be nesting in my home for most of the foreseeable future.
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