clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2003-10-16 04:01 pm
clevermanka) wrote2003-10-16 04:01 pm
Housespouse dreams
misia metioned a friend of hers, garrity had visited, and being a terribly nosey person, I popped over to garrity's LJ. On October 6, she posted:
...Honestly, sometimes I think what we really need is a housespouse. You know: someone who'll be willing to do all the incredibly important support work involved in keeping us fed, clothed, sheltered, and errand-free, plus also whatever the housespouse wanted or needed to do in order to feel fulfilled, so we can keep going out to make the mad cash in the careers that WE find fulfilling but simply can't be done part-time. It'd get complicated when we tried to figure out how to insure that housespouse, thanks to the asinine legal restricitons on what constitutes 'family' in this country, but some days I sincerely wish it were possible to have another family member who'd like to take on that role....
This basically sums up what I want to do in this life. I am, despite my sarcastic and catty outer shell, a giant mother hen at heart. I want to take care of the people I love.
Last weekend, mckitterick asked me what my goals were. I replied that I don't have any. And I really don't. I live very much in the moment, day to day. I don't think of my job as a career. It's just something I do to make enough money to do other things. So I don't have any career goals. He pointed out that some people have the goal to be happy. Yes, well, but I know I won't always be happy. In fact, I am often Not Happy. I will admit to mood swings--I just try to keep them to myself (and poor 0verdrive). Making one of my life goals to be happy would, frankly, be setting myself up for failure.
I never really considered housespousery a goal of mine, but I guess it is. I do want to retire early (before 45 would be nice) so I can spend my time doing what is important to me: Taking care of 0verdrive and our home.
Old-fashioned? Maybe. Sappy? Definitely. And I imagine there are many of my sister feminists who would find this idea horrific. In fact, I have been flamed for talking about this domesticity on one of my email lists. I was, in one woman's eyes, letting down the women who fought for my all my rights as a woman. Sigh. But we'll just ignore people like that, ok?
Also, for me, housespousery is very different from being a volunteer caregiver or something similar. I do not want to just take care of some random person with whom I do not share my life. The intimacy, the love, and the ownership is all necessary for me. My relationship, my home, my domain. Yeah, posessiveness is a lot of it, I guess.
Interesting. Not really going anywhere with this, just something to chew on.
...Honestly, sometimes I think what we really need is a housespouse. You know: someone who'll be willing to do all the incredibly important support work involved in keeping us fed, clothed, sheltered, and errand-free, plus also whatever the housespouse wanted or needed to do in order to feel fulfilled, so we can keep going out to make the mad cash in the careers that WE find fulfilling but simply can't be done part-time. It'd get complicated when we tried to figure out how to insure that housespouse, thanks to the asinine legal restricitons on what constitutes 'family' in this country, but some days I sincerely wish it were possible to have another family member who'd like to take on that role....
This basically sums up what I want to do in this life. I am, despite my sarcastic and catty outer shell, a giant mother hen at heart. I want to take care of the people I love.
Last weekend, mckitterick asked me what my goals were. I replied that I don't have any. And I really don't. I live very much in the moment, day to day. I don't think of my job as a career. It's just something I do to make enough money to do other things. So I don't have any career goals. He pointed out that some people have the goal to be happy. Yes, well, but I know I won't always be happy. In fact, I am often Not Happy. I will admit to mood swings--I just try to keep them to myself (and poor 0verdrive). Making one of my life goals to be happy would, frankly, be setting myself up for failure.
I never really considered housespousery a goal of mine, but I guess it is. I do want to retire early (before 45 would be nice) so I can spend my time doing what is important to me: Taking care of 0verdrive and our home.
Old-fashioned? Maybe. Sappy? Definitely. And I imagine there are many of my sister feminists who would find this idea horrific. In fact, I have been flamed for talking about this domesticity on one of my email lists. I was, in one woman's eyes, letting down the women who fought for my all my rights as a woman. Sigh. But we'll just ignore people like that, ok?
Also, for me, housespousery is very different from being a volunteer caregiver or something similar. I do not want to just take care of some random person with whom I do not share my life. The intimacy, the love, and the ownership is all necessary for me. My relationship, my home, my domain. Yeah, posessiveness is a lot of it, I guess.
Interesting. Not really going anywhere with this, just something to chew on.