clevermanka | Intention of grace

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Intention of grace

Often I receive compliments on my grace when I dance. A few people say they enjoy watching me cook or sew because my movements are precise, yet fluid. I acknowledge that when I focus on what I'm doing, my body is different. When my mind is in my body I am graceful. However, too often my mind races ahead of my body. Instead of walking through the door, I focus on what I'll be doing once I'm out of the room. And doing so, I run into the doorjamb.

I don't adhere to any particular religion (although I don't practice it, I strongly identify with paganism due to a reverence for nature and respect for life), but Buddhist philosophy often speaks to me. In particular, the concept of mindfulness. Being aware of what I am doing at all times; acting with intent, purpose, and reverence for myself and others.

Although I refer to myself in disparaging terms ("the water buffalo" and others even worse), in general I like my body. It's naturally flexible, has an attractive skin that gives me relatively little trouble, and has, frankly, suffered from abuse (both mental and physical) as well as neglect and laziness. It's a strong body, and beautiful. My body and I deserve to be graceful at all times. I am making an effort to be mindful, and not just when I'm dancing, cooking, or sewing.

This isn't to say I won't sometimes be goofy and silly. I'll still bark my shins on coffee tables and misjudge my shoulders in relation to a doorway. There's no avoiding the fact that I will often move without thinking. However, I will think of my body as naturally graceful. I will stop referring to myself as the water buffalo. I will treat my body with affection, patience, and respect. Through intent, I will become naturally graceful.

Mindfulness. Intent. Grace.

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Good for you! Yes, the thoughts of the mind and the words of the mouth create the reality...I'm quite certain of this.

I SO know what you mean; mindfulness helps and bears cultivation. I do stupid things to myself when I'm rushing and not thinking!

Grace is a quality that I sadly lack and would do well to cultivate. At my finest (fencing), I have finesse and perhaps even a little panache.

And, as

rougewench pointed out the other day, sometimes I have no balance at all and just fall over. She's never really encountered that in an individual.

How easy will being mindful of your actions be to integrate into your daily life?

Like everything else in life, some of it will be easy, some of it will be hard. I don't expect to always suceed, and I won't think badly of myself when I fail.

I also don't expect to always succeed.

Self-body image is something I've been struggling with for a long long time. Even though I've lost a bunch of weight and work out regularly, I still tend to think of myself as the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man. It's a hard image to overcome.

Which parts do you think are going to be hard?

I have no idea, and I don't care to speculate. If I think "oh, that's gonna be hard" then most likely it will be. I choose not to judge ahead of time.

I concur. Renaming myself from "The Pillsbury Doughgirl" to something more graceful was hard. I too, am well acquainted with doorjambs, tree-branches, steps, walls, kitchen & bath counter corners etc... or at least my shoulders, feet, shins and backs of my hands are. Recently I posted on my bath mirror something similar to what Breacca posted a couple of weeks ago, 'It's never too late to become who you want to be' and in my living room I keep in prominent sight this plaque, 'Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't have it in the beginning.' This is accredited to Mahatma Gandhi and I love what it says. The trick is living it and not just thinking it is a beautiful sentiment!

Mindfulness is an essential part of my personal philosophy. I've found two exercises to be useful; your mileage may vary, but I figure it can't hurt to share.

1) Speak From The "I": A lot of people speak from the "you." "You know what I mean?" "Well, if I were you..." "You said..." It sounds like semantics, but I've found that changing these things into questions, or speaking from your point of view instead of projecting on the other person's can help. "Do you know what I mean?" "I thought I heard you say..."

Moreover, things like "if I were you" tend to disappear from my vocabulary when I engage in this...which is pretty much all the time. I've found this to be useful in separating my projections of what I want things from what they may actually be.

2) Always Ask Why: I've found that asking myself why I'm doing things is an essential part of being mindful. And not stopping with the first reason I give myself. For example:

I'm sharing something with you right now that is intensely personal. Moreover, I'm doing in a public forum. Why? Because I hope you can gain some use from it. Why? Because I like you and hope my experiences are useful to you. Why do I like you? Because you've been a good and supportive friend; because you're attractive; because you're funny; because I hope to continue and deepen our friendship. Why do I want my experiences to be useful to you? Because then you might admire my approach, and I like to be admired. Because it may make you a happier person, and a happier person tends to be a stronger person, and stronger friends are better to have. Why are they better to have? ...

And so on and so forth. I found that I never used to question my motivation, which ultimately led to a lot of confusion. The "why" exercise has been extremely helpful to me.

Again, I realize that a lot of this may sound like semantics, and it did to me, at first. But I tried it out, and it worked for me.

As I said, your mileage may vary. :^)

So on point (1), how would I phrase "Do you know what I mean?" if I wanted to be sure you understood me?

"The Alexander Technique?" I've found it very helpful to keep me more mindful of my being & movements, & while I doubt I'll ever achieve grace either intentionally or inadvertantly, it helps a lot w/ stress & energy.

Got link?

It's a question. Most questions are pretty safe, I've found, though not all. "Do you know what I mean?" could be rephrased as, "Am I being clear?" That's how I usually do it.

http://www.alexandertechnique.com/

There may be better ones, but it'll give you an idea.

"The Alexander Technique is a method that works to change (movement) habits in our everyday activities. It is a simple and practical method for improving ease and freedom of movement, balance, support and coordination. The technique teaches the use of the appropriate amount of effort for a particular activity, giving you more energy for all your activities. It is not a series of treatments or exercises, but rather a reeducation of the mind and body. The Alexander Technique is a method which helps a person discover a new balance in the body by releasing unnecessary tension. It can be applied to sitting, lying down, standing, walking, lifting, and other daily activities..."

Ah! Got it.

Definitely something to ponder. Thank you!

Hm. It might be a great method, but I have an instinctive negative reaction to self-help techniques that either require you to take a class or dig through page after page before you find actual information instead of just hype (which is the problem I'm encountering on the website).

sorry. I was taught as part of my acting training, so I forget about that aspect of it. There ARE good books & vids out there, but classes can help, if only to really demonstrate how it should feel. It's quite a widespread study, & I probably just gave you a mediocre link. If you ever have time to get to the library I would imagine they have a few books on the subject- you might see if any of them catch your interest better than this site...?

this will be more informative/productive for you:

http://www.performanceschool.org/lab_keyconcepts.html

I don't mean to push this- I've just found it very helpful & it sounds like something that might assist you w/ your goal.

CR...
Remember Shakira from Ohio? She teaches dance from Alexander Technique and something else she's certified in called "Being in Movement".
The best I can find on her right at the moment is this flyer (http://sitamun.com/shakira_workshop.html).

I have an entire Master Class tape of her. You're welcome to borrow.

duh. Here she is:

Middle Eastern Dance as a cure for clumsiness (http://shakirathedancer.com/cure.html)

Howdja like that?

Cool! Sure, I'd be interested in watching the tape. Thanks!

I have been on the Buddhist path for a little while now and it seems that you are on the right track and have a very good attitude about mindfulness. I am always looking to better myself thru meditation and just simply pure thought. Not in the "good pure" sense, just to have complete attention on what I am thinking about. The origin of things, the "why" if you will. It can be a staggering concept for me, the whole "nothing" concept, and it does keep my mind occupied. I also identify with having more respect for my body. Treating it more as a temple than an amusement park or Jerry Springer rerun. I would love to talk to you more about it if you would like over a cup o' joe sometime.

"When one looks at it, one cannot see it.
"When one listens for it, one cannot hear it.
"However, when one uses it, it is inexhaustible."
-Zen Buddhist poem

I did my undergrad honors paper on women in Pure Land Buddhism (weirdos, the lot of 'em), and most of my coursework in Religious Studies was Eastern Religions.

As a result, I have blocked most of the information from my mind and could probably use a refresher course. =D

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