clevermanka | Stupidity

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opinion

Stupidity

I would like to think that the average LJ user can figure out on their own that posting something publically means everyone can view the entry, and posting it privately means it's only viewable to the poster. But looking at the new Update Journal screen, that appears not to be the case.

I am weary of stupidity. Not just the average brand of dumb hick stupidity that we often see here in the Midwest, but other, more wide-ranging forms of stupidity. I'm weary of people choosing to act in ways I find, in a word, stupid:

Allowing emotions to control actions

Behaving thoughtlessly

Being selfish to the point of hurting others

Refusing to learn from experience

Stupidity (not ignorance) is rising to the #1 spot in my list of things I can't tolerate. Laziness and Selfishness were tied for first for a long time, but I think Stupidity is gaining ground--fast.

Acting stupidly, even when you know better is unacceptable behavior in an adult. It is the sole perogative of children and juveniles. Children, when told not to do something, will often do it just to see what happens. Teenagers do stupid things because their brains haven't reached a stage of development that can differentiate between actual right and wrong.

I realize that everyone has bad days. Even the most rational, respectable adults occasionally act stupid. But when a supposed adult routinely does stupid things, I assume that he or she is not, in fact, an adult. I hesitate to say that person should be treated like a child, because several children deserve to be treated (in general) as adults.

My life is too short to put up with repeated stupid behavior. But how do I deal with friends/aquaintances who regularly behave in ways that I find stupid? Equally important: How do I deal with them and engage in the least amount of drama? Because honestly, I've had it with drama, too.

There aren't any one-size-fits-all answers or resolutions to the issue. And while that might not be stupid, it certainly doesn't make the problem easy to deal with.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I agree. Stupid is an intolerable waste of time. Even my own.

That said... what's different about the new Update Journal screen that has inspired such a heartfelt rant?

I hadn't been to post anything recently on LJ, so didn't know what you meant about the new configuration. How funny! And sad.

Stupidity has always been my number one. Not thinking for oneself. Not acting maturely.

Yes, everyone has their bad days, but we need to take responsibility for those bad days. There are reasons, but no excuses.

There are reasons, but no excuses.

I like that. I like that very Very VERY much.

I wouldn't say "inspired" so much as "capped off."

The new screen has all these weird tabs, and a clarification of what it means to post something publically vs. privately. You know, for those too lazy or stupid to look the words up in a fucking dictionary.

I also like this icon very Very VERY much.

It's a nifty shot, indeed.

seconded.

as you mention here there aren't any one-size-fits-all answers here, but what i will address is your question of "ow do I deal with friends/acquaintances who regularly behave in ways that I find stupid? Equally important: How do I deal with them and engage in the least amount of drama?

a few years back, i was in a completely toxic fucked up relationship that should have ended the second it began. when i did speak with some friends about the trials and tribulations i was very conscious of their ability to separate my stupid behavior (staying with him) from their love and support of me. perhaps this was made easier by my knowing i was acting totally irrationally but felt completely unable to extract myself from the situation at the time. knowing this, they felt some comfort in saying, "hey zo, this shit really isn't very good for you." which i responded to much more favorably than if they had said, "you're one stupid fuck for doing x,y and z."

OH yeah...right there with you on this one.

Communication IS the key. Both ways.

I have no problem extracting myself from "friendships" that are toxic. My difficulties stem from issues where friends of friends are guilty of Behaving Badly. I don't want to punish friends for the poor decisions of others, but at the same time, I don't want to open myself up to that negativity.

It sounds like you have some great friends! That's excellent. I'm learning the appropriate ways to phrase things--more like your friends. A few years ago, I would've been the person saying "you're one stupid fuck." I think I've progressed handily.

Isn't

everflame a freaking hottie? Yum.

Both ways--up to a point. Past that point, I don't care to communicate with some folks.

Maybe you'll also like this:

Never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I'm sorry I lost the attrition. (is that the right word?)

the both of you

:: fanning myself ::

Attribution. =D Close.

But how do I deal with friends/aquaintances who regularly behave in ways that I find stupid?

a) IF it's ever me, you can tell me without it turning into drama. I'll probably know anyway.
b) Check own tolerance meter and see if one feels ill, tired, hungry or just pissy in general
c) Cut ties with the more annoyingly stupid people. Life just ain't worth wasting energy on it.

Now when it comes to work-related stupidity... I'll take any advice you have to give me, because I've about had it with that.

Yeah, I can see that. I guess sometimes I go too far in trying for reconciliation but then, I've been shut out enough times when a simple, "Hey, you whatinhelldoyouthinkyou're doing?" could've avoided a lot of drama in the long run.

But that's just me.

Folk get about two shots at stupid with me and then I'm done.

Yep....both, definitely!

Thank you. I knew it wasn't "attribute" but I couldn't think of the proper word to save my life. I'm so brain-dead today that this is probably NOT the conversation for me.

a) I will.
b) Always good advice. Thank you. And also: Check calendar for time of month. As much as we girls poo-poo the PMS accusation, it really does affect our emotional responses.
c) Indeed.

Work-related stupidity is an entirely different issue. Perhaps I'll write that up as a separate entry sometime. But basically it boils down to: Always be the bigger person. Cover your ass. Document, document, document.

Ack! Why does LJ tell me "This is you" when my mouse hovers over my own icon?
D-UH.
Maybe in my frame of mind today I need the hint?

Word.

Why does LJ tell me "This is you"

Same reason it needs to explain the differences between posting publically vs. privately.

my guess is those definitions are a bit to vague - and that there are folks out there that find you stupid by your definitions.

there are folks out there that find you stupid by your definitions

Well, I guess that's their loss, isn't it? Honestly, if someone is reading that list and asking "I wonder if Chernobyl Red thinks I'm acting stupid?" chances are probably that the answer is yes.

I'm sure I'm reading this wrong cause of my pain from ear infection but sorry - if you find me stupid then i'm sorry that I inflict myself upon your world

Why would you assume any of this post was directed at you?

I promise you, I don't think you're stupid...just maybe a little loopy from pain meds. =) To reassure you, here is my fluffy bunny icon, reserved only for people I care about. I hope your ear problems clear up soon.

Also, as an afterthought:
If you think I consistently behave in a manner that reflects all the examples above

Allowing emotions to control actions

Behaving thoughtlessly

Being selfish to the point of hurting others

Refusing to learn from experience

I would question why you'd want to be my friend.

As I addressed in the post, everyone (yes, of course that includes me) has bad days where they exhibit stupid behavior. It's consistent, repeated patterns of behavior that I refuse to tolerate.

Honestly, if someone is reading that list and asking "I wonder if Chernobyl Red thinks I'm acting stupid?" chances are probably that the answer is yes.

I read that as you saying if you though you might have done any of these things then you probably have and I think you are stupid.

I know I've done all those things at some point or other, some more then others.

Ear infections SUCK - so glad we are driving and not flying

I've done all those things at some point or other

We all have, hon. We all have.

ah I missed the "consistent repeated" part

I guess it depends on who is doing the judging. I'm sure my grandma sees my refusal to jump to her unstated whims as being shelfish to the point of hurting others (her). and such like that.

it depends on who is doing the judging

Yes. All my examples of stupidity are entirely subjective.

Which brings up another point. I do not like everyone. I do not expect everyone to like me. There is nothing wrong with not getting along with some people. I choose not to waste time and energy dealing with people who only cause me grief.

To me, this does not seem like an unreasonable way to live.

I agree - but I read that the first time to say 'If you read this and think you have ever done any of these things then I think you are stupid and don't like you"

Oh, thank you for posting your rant, because I was beginning to think it was just ME, that I was the only person in the world getting so tired of all the pointless idiotic crap that my head might just explode. Down with stupidity! Let the clear light of sanity arise and reign!

If I may make an observation:

When I was in high school, I was asked to write a paper on the difference between an adult, and a grown-up. My consensis was this:
A grown-up is a person regardless of gender or chronological age who has the reasoning capacity to distinguish right from wrong and accept responsibility for his/her own actions.
An adult is merely a person who has reached a certain chronological age which is supposed to magically (and legally) imbue said person with above qualities upon reaching.

I would think that the flaws in this system would be apparent. Perhaps you have simply had the bad luck to run into more adults than grown-ups.

And seriously, I would PREFER it if there were more people in the world who said, "Dude, you are being one STUPID fuck."....in the nicest way possible, of course.

*MUAH*

I don't think it's possible for many people to say things but the nicest way possible to you. Seriously. You're the cutest thing walking the planet. How can someone NOT be nice to you? *mwah*! back atcha.

I agree with your semantics on grown-up vs. adult. As you note, adult is the legal term (vs. "minor") so I used that.

You're not alone, but don't let your head explode. There are too many good words in it to let them all go scattering about.

However, next time you're in town, if you would like to go on rant together, let me know. That would be awesome.

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