DIY Child Hell, or You Lucky Lucky Not-My-Kid

[clevermanka]

Nearly everyone who knows me understands (or at least is aware) that I'm a pretty dedicated DIYer. Sometimes to my detriment. Given the choice between buying something and making it myself, I'll usually make it myself. Even if it winds up being more expensive. No, I don't know why. It's a mental disease. Or something. I am capable of realizing when a project is beyond my abilities--in which case I ring up Johnson County Upholstery (email me for contact info if you need an upholsterer!) or some place similar. I even try to make all my gifts. Sometimes I wonder if that comes off as either egotistical or cheap. But I've been (rightfully) accused of both from time to time, so I don't let it bother me.

However.

It has, on occasion, occurred to me that I might have done the planet a disservice by not reproducing. I'm not saying I have the best genes in the world, but it's a fact that way too many educated, socially liberal folks just aren't having kids. And that's a pity, it really is. BTW, kudos to _mac_ and stuology, but the two of you simply can't make up for the lack of Liberal Breeding, no matter how hard you may try. But--I can honestly say that I have done a great, great favor to whomever might have been doomed to be my child. Because they never, ever would have been the happy recipient of a store-bought toy.

Why would I buy toys when these exist: Mr. McGroovy's Box Rivets.

In a word: Fan-fucking-tastic. Oh man. Can you imagine? And can you imagine the look of patient disappointment on Little Jenny's face when she opens up a present that is, yet again, not Barbie's Dream House, but rather something made out of the box it came in?

Comments

[gamera-spinning.livejournal.com]

Since my favorite toys were big cardboard boxes when I was a kid, I know that I would've dug Mr. McGroovy's Box Rivets. Too cool!

[beowulphx.livejournal.com]

Those are awesome! Why, with that kind of technology, I could make any of this stuff" life sized, literally in a *snap*! (http://www.3dpapermodel.com.tw/)

[arian1.livejournal.com]

Let's hear it for cardboard forts! Frankenstein together a few boxes of various sizes. Presto. Space Command!

[jensixstones.livejournal.com]

Screw getting that choking hazzard for a kid, I WANT THOSE NOW! I can even justify getting them since I have a company that utilizes props and walls and such.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Love it!

*giggle*

Another way in which you and I are more alike than I think either of us had previously thought....

[lightonthesill.livejournal.com]

OMG. Am fathoming the possibilities.

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, if I'd had kids, they'd have built all kinds of their own toys. It would start with LEGOs - something store-bought that's still wide-open for creativity - then at some point we would've moved on to small home-made rockets, then at about 14 s/he would've gotten a classic car to restore in time for turning 16.

Yep.

[stuology.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Ada is highly entertained by my plastic storage bowls in the kitchen. Its once they watch a commercial and understand what it means enough to be brainwashed by it that they start wanting stuff. Thank-gods for our DVR and commercial-free on-demand.

And when I was a kid, I dug making forts throughout the house with chairs, blankets/sheets and clothes pins.

Kids like to be creative, especially if it involves interaction with an adult who is willing to contribute time.

[stuology.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I'm eye-balling those for work. With all the extra boxes laying around from computer hardware, I could make a mighty fort for my cubiffice. Then I would buy (yes, I would have to buy) the USB nerf rocket-launcher, and I'd be set.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

if it involves interaction with an adult who is willing to contribute

I think you hit it, there.

Maybe my kids wouldn't have minded the refrigerator box forts and such. The handmade prom dresses might have been another story, though...

[lionsaoi.livejournal.com]

That is sooo cool!

The other day I got to play with Linkin' Logs (or, are the Lincoln, like "I used to live in a log cabin", Logs?), which we so much fun. Being a girl blew sometimes, mainly in the lack of building materials.

[geekmom.livejournal.com]

Those are awesome. Once Kiyan clears this pesky little swallowing inappropriate things phase, we're so playing with those.

The Liberal Breeding program doesn't go so well, because we actually believe in birth control. Damn. I guess we'll have to make up for the numbers with gay couple adoptions.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

hee. We gave J's oldest niece a put-together roller coaster kit. I thought it was awesome. Let's encourage brave and handy future wimminlings.

[chronovore.livejournal.com]

I fear you are selling yourself short. It is nearly guaranteed that the kids would have appreciated your willingness to build a fort, and even SUPPLY them with killer fasteners to do it.

Even now, in many cases rather than the toys, my kids more enjoy the boxes they arrived in.

[starstraf.livejournal.com]

Hey those are the things that I use to hold the trunk carpet in place - great stuff