Magic when you're all grown up

[clevermanka]

I commented in someone's LJ yesterday about things I consider magical about being an adult. Here's what I said:

Arranging a spur-of-the-moment lunchtime hookup with my partner? Magical!

Waking up on Saturday morning and having the option of starting the day with champagne? Magical!

Being able to go to bed at 8pm or 2am, whichever I choose, any day of the week? Magical!

Never ever ever having to worry about finishing tomorrow's schoolwork for first period class? Magical!

Looking out at my overgrown and weedy backyard as the sunset shines through the bramble bushes between me and the alley, waiting for that moment of dusk when the birds settle in and the bats start to come out, sinking down into my ratty plastic lawn chair with a glass of wine and reminding myself that I am wholly my own person? Most magical thing ever.

I can see how some people might think that's pretty boring. But I was a child who didn't have that concept of "childhood wonder." I never believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, fairies, doors to other worlds, etc.

My mother says I was born forty years old. Here I was, this small person who didn't much care for other children, trapped in an environment over which I had little control, and with no means of realistically imagining escape. Of course it had to be realistic, otherwise what was the point? I read my share of fantasy stories and I loved fairy tales, but I enjoyed them more for the imagery and the grotesque than the escapism. I knew I wasn't going to find The Wardrobe because Narnia didn't exist. I think even then I was on an inevitable path to atheism. Because I don't know that I really believed in heaven or hell, despite being raised Christian since babyhood. Only the world that I could see around me or see in photographs was real to me. And if you couldn't show me an example, forget it. I took nothing on faith.

An aside: My poor parents!

But being in charge of my own life now, and as _luaineach puts it, capable of choosing my own actions to cause and effect, life is full of so much more wonder and joy and magic. I am constantly amazed at the feeling I get when I realize that I'm free to make my own choices and take my own actions. And yes, knowing those actions have consequences, that is magical, too.

I love being an adult.

Comments

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

:)

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

I'm with you! I didn't like other kids either, and I thought most of the stories from religion were hooey, just like the fairy tales, something that meant grown-up people also could play pretend.
OTOH, the world inside my own head was real to me, sometimes more so than the outer world. I spent most of my time there when I had the opportunity.
(that explains a few things, doesn't it?)

I'll add to your list... Eating dessert *instead* of dinner!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I hope you find some kickass magic! And soon!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

the world inside my own head was real to me, sometimes more so than the outer world

Interesting! I'm the opposite. I never had much of an internal world until relatively recently. Which also explains a few things for me. =D

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

Some uninterrupted sleep would be magical right now... but other than that, I'm working on it. I think I crashed after my trip and I've had a hard time getting back up. I need a minion Bob...

[femfataleatron.livejournal.com]

Word. I realized when I was eight that A: there is no god. and B: That most adults didn't actually believe in him either, or they would not behave in the way they do.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

:D
I think it is probably because you had a relatively stable and happy childhood, unlike mine.

[tessagratton.livejournal.com]

I can feel that sparkly-flooding feeling when I look at the sunrise, and call it whatever I want: God, magic, beauty. The little moments of truth and beauty are what I live for, too.

I love being able to choose what I believe, and how I let those beliefs influence my life.

[orrin.livejournal.com]

Man, LiveJournal needs a "like" button.

Seriously, though, this. Especially right now.

[tessagratton.livejournal.com]

(Ok, and also trying to force others into seeing those moments, too. Translating them into a language that others can understand.)

[rougewench.livejournal.com]

Right there with you.


D.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

You got there in a much more metaphysical manner than I did.

For me, the jig was up when I was headed to church with my parents one Sunday morning. It was miserably hot and the church (ancient old one-room building) had no A/C. I said, "I wish God would make it snow" and my mom said "It can't snow. It's too hot." When I asked "But couldn't God make it snow anyway," she hedged around and didn't have a good answer.

It was all downhill from there. I'm not sure how old I was, but it had to be before I was eleven because that's when we moved to Kansas and air-conditioned churches.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yes yes yes! Being able to choose. Ahhh.

I don't think you (or any writer) can force a reader to feel anything. But yes, it's your responsibility to be the translator/mediator for the experience.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Perhaps!

I gotta say, though, developing an internal communication before the age of thirty-five would've been really helpful.

[tessagratton.livejournal.com]

Ok, ok, not forcing. I won't be the Dick Cheney of the YA world.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Aw. Thanks. I'm pleased I could provide something for you.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Promise you'll never use your powers for evil.

:)

[wyckedgood.livejournal.com]

I love adult magic.

I love technology magic too. Colored bubbles http://www.zubbles.com/ because we can.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the link! Might have to think about ordering some when they're available in red....

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

It's a good place to be.

Most Welcome

[wyckedgood.livejournal.com]

I really think colored bubbles are the bees knees lol.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

:) It's a double-edged sword, believe me. Another of those damned balancing acts of life.

[zhukora1.livejournal.com]

Hear hear! Those things all seem plenty magical to me. Besides, being able to appreciate the beauty of the tiny things is what leads to satisfaction with life moreso than deluding yourself that any day your closet could turn into a doorway to fantasyland.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

No kidding. I like my closet just the way it is, thanks. Except maybe with a few more shelves...

[zhukora1.livejournal.com]

Ngl, I wouldn't be too sad if one day my closet door magically opened into the fantasyland of a closet that was twice as big as the current one. That's the kind of magic I could get behind.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Mmmm. The magical land of affordable Fluevogs.

*sigh*

[nottygypsy.livejournal.com]

Blowing your smoke into bubbles cause there are no kids around. MAGIC.

Loved this post.

Here here!

[the-themiscyran.livejournal.com]

The answer to the question "How many angels can fit onto the head of a pin." is quite reachable if you exchange 'angels' for 'atoms'.

I'm not at atheist, but I reached a comfortable level of agnostic early on, primarily because my parents couldn't deliver a satisfactory answer on why one could/should believe in the Christian God (and possibly angels), but not
the Greek pantheon, or the Loch Ness Monster, or faeries in the back garden, or invisible friends. Once you added atoms and quarks into the equation they pretty much threw in the towel.

Also, I wish my house was close enough to campus that "spur-of-the-moment-hookup" logistically easier...

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

if you exchange 'angels' for 'atoms'.

Yes, but then you have to determine if the atoms are actually dancing or just bouncing around...

Ha!

[the-themiscyran.livejournal.com]

There, see - everything is open to interpretation...

Maybe bouncing is HOW atoms dance? :D

[pamelonian.livejournal.com]

Almost all of those are part of my adult magic, except that I still have "homework" due by my first hour class. (Only not in summer!)

I can't wait to be able to settle into my patio chair at dusk with a glass of wine (or vodka).

Naps are magical.

Waking up with a coffee in one hand and a beer in the other, also magical...

Snow days, woah!

I even enjoy paying bills (knowing that I can).

Being an adult is awesome!

[kalimeg.livejournal.com]

Amen! I was ready to leave home and be independent by the time I was 10. I was the only one who laughed at High School graduation because escape was coming!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

It's totally, totally awesome!

How did I forget to mention naps???!?!? Mmmmmm. Thank you for the reminder.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha! I completely believe this. =)