clevermanka (
clevermanka) wrote2011-03-29 10:36 am
Entry tags:
I don't get paid enough for the quality of my work
This went out to my grad students this morning
All,
I have ready the permission codes for Summer and Fall 2011. They are now ready for the eagerly enrollment-minded among you. Please keep in mind a few things:
1. All English department courses numbered 700 and above require a permission code, which you get from me. You get from me all permission codes, which are required for all English department courses numbered 700 and above. If a course is numbered 700 or above, and is offered through the English department, it requires a permission code, which I shall give you. Neither advisors nor instructors can give you these codes, which are required for all English department classes numbered 700 and above. Please email me, call me, or come by my office to get your codes for all English department classes numbered 700 and above.
2. Request your codes as soon as possible. We track enrollment through the distribution of permission codes, and if a class doesn’t appear likely to make minimum enrollment, department administrators will cancel it. On the opposite hand is the possibility of classes filling up early. Most graduate classes are limited to an enrollment of twelve students. Requesting codes early never hurt anyone, but requesting codes late (and being denied entry to a class) can sting a bit. Or so I’ve heard.
3. Because we track enrollment through the distribution of permission codes, I need to know immediately if you are not going to use a permission code, or if you drop/switch a class. Secreting away the fact that you have decided against taking a class only annoys those of us in charge of managing enrollment and does not in any way shield the spurned course from crushing disappointment. Pull yourself together, and just let me know you changed your mind. It’s no big deal. Really.
Thank you, and don’t forget to enroll early and enroll often.
Chernobyl Red
Graduate Secretary
You would not believe how many students will still ask me "Do I need a code to enroll in 801 (or whatever)?" *sigh*
All,
I have ready the permission codes for Summer and Fall 2011. They are now ready for the eagerly enrollment-minded among you. Please keep in mind a few things:
1. All English department courses numbered 700 and above require a permission code, which you get from me. You get from me all permission codes, which are required for all English department courses numbered 700 and above. If a course is numbered 700 or above, and is offered through the English department, it requires a permission code, which I shall give you. Neither advisors nor instructors can give you these codes, which are required for all English department classes numbered 700 and above. Please email me, call me, or come by my office to get your codes for all English department classes numbered 700 and above.
2. Request your codes as soon as possible. We track enrollment through the distribution of permission codes, and if a class doesn’t appear likely to make minimum enrollment, department administrators will cancel it. On the opposite hand is the possibility of classes filling up early. Most graduate classes are limited to an enrollment of twelve students. Requesting codes early never hurt anyone, but requesting codes late (and being denied entry to a class) can sting a bit. Or so I’ve heard.
3. Because we track enrollment through the distribution of permission codes, I need to know immediately if you are not going to use a permission code, or if you drop/switch a class. Secreting away the fact that you have decided against taking a class only annoys those of us in charge of managing enrollment and does not in any way shield the spurned course from crushing disappointment. Pull yourself together, and just let me know you changed your mind. It’s no big deal. Really.
Thank you, and don’t forget to enroll early and enroll often.
Chernobyl Red
Graduate Secretary
You would not believe how many students will still ask me "Do I need a code to enroll in 801 (or whatever)?" *sigh*

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I laughed so hard at point 1.
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Believe it or not, I send something along these lines every semester. And still some people just don't get it.
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Hahahah!
Srsly, This o_O me not.
I'll bet you get this, too:
WHAT'S A PERMISSION CODE?
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I've resorted to bullet points and notes at the tops of my emails that say "please read the entire email carefully." Doesn't always help.
Grad students will be oblivious.
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Of course, the whole thing was made funnier for me by a unique rewiring of my brain that invariably causes me to read 'permission' as 'persimmon' the first few times through.
Apparently, persimmon codes are a Big Deal in your world.
Love,
Rowan
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I have noticed this problem with faculty members, as well.
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We think too much alike. You poor thing.
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Yay! I'm so glad someone else does.
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(by the way, I am sorry people are clueless in your world. I will offer my father's advice: "Dress them in overalls and hang them on a hook.")
Love,
Rowan
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We get clients that hate to sign forms, even the ones we need to work on their cases.
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Perhaps alas, people do not get any less clueless as they get older.
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**Note: Some requirements may apply. Skill testing question. Limited time offer. Do not feed to your gerbil. Stupidity may result in headache. Quality bribes appreciated.
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While amused, I also kinda felt bad. Grad Students = Flat Broke. =\
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HA! :)
Step One: Post general notices in art locker hallways a month in advance, notifying students that said lockers must be emptied by the end of the semester. If not by them, then by the office.
Step Two: Post individual notices on lockers one week before deadline.
Step Three: Have student assistants clear out lockers that are still full of $100s worth of art supplies the Monday following the Friday deadline. (See, we even gave them the weekend!!!)
Step Four: Hold the items in the store room until finals are over, just to be super-nice to any panicky, broke art students. (Sometimes, 1 would show up.)
Step Five: Distribute art supplies to anyone who wants them, donate or dumpster the rest. Wait to explain to students who show up three weeks after the end of the semester that their stuff is gone for good.
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For your convenience, here is a helpful list of words to incorporate into your future e-mails to attempt to appeal to the academic crowd:
□ Discursive
□ Conflate
□ Heteronormative
□ Appropriate (v)
□ Intertextual
□ Subjectivity
□ Nuanced
□ Praxis
□ Trope
□ Reify
□ Hegemony
□ Dialectical
□ (Meta)discourse
□ Agency
□ Gendered
□ Socially dictated
□ Semiotic
□ Semantic
□ Methodology
□ Hermeneutic
□ Institution
□ Phenomenology
□ Criticism
□ Stratification
(Yes, I am keeping a list of these in a word document on my computer. Yes, I occasionally use this list as a drinking game at department functions.)
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