Well that sucked

[clevermanka]

My dance practice time didn't go as expected. It kind of didn't go at all. I did fifteen minutes of warm-ups and drills, none of which were very crisp or clean, and decided to move to working on improv before I got too frustrated. Not my best decision. After the first song I thought "Well that sucked. Maybe I'll be more inspired by the next one." Nope. It wasn't the music, it was me. I don't know if my dance mojo has gone missing or I'm just really down about how my movements are camouflaged by layers of swelling and such but UGH. It was completely uninteresting and unappealing. My isolations were jerky, my transitions were awkward, and basically all my movements looked like a beginner dancer who has no business whatsoever performing for a paying audience.

I am dreading KCRF.

Don't tell me I'm my own worst critic. I know this is true. I also know bad dancing when I see it. So don't even go there.

I wasn't sure if I was going to post this or not, but I figured I'm honest and open about everything else here, so why not add some more grief to my shit pile, here. God, it seems like ages ago that I had a run of happy, positive posts.

When I made the commitment to being healthier for KCRF 2013 than I was for 2012 I had no idea I wouldn't actually succeed. I was positive that was an achievable goal.

God damn.

I am so down right now.

Comments

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, bb. I'm having a tough time emotionally right now myself (mostly brought on by shit in _p, plus some ever-present self-loathing that never seems to want to go away). So have many hugs. In lieu of not being able to do much more than offer e-hugs, here's Robert Downey Jr. doing a very confused looking Gangnam Style:

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[miischelle.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry honey. Tomorrow will be better.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[bluetourmaline.livejournal.com]

*sympathy and hugs*

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[annamatic.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I hate that feeling of losing your groove at something you're usually damn good at. I've felt it lately with writing and it's just kind of a lost, lonely feeling. Hopefully you're able to find your rhythm again.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[tama-grey.livejournal.com]

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Re:

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

I think [Unknown site tag] just posted the bestest hug gif ever, but I'm still going to offer this, because I have no good hug gifs:

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

Oh my god if he did that face at me I couldn't refuse him anything. ANYTHING.

Stop making that face at me Tom, jesus, aaaaaugh.

(Do you read RPS? Berlynn_wohl just posted another story in her Cumberbatch/Hiddleston series.)

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

Aw, bb, I'm sorry. :^(

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I don't think I could refuse him anything no matter what face he was wearing.

I don't read RPS, no, but thanks for the suggestion!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[sherwood21.livejournal.com]

Just saw this. I'm sorry yesterday sucked. If you like, I will kick yesterday in the nards for you.

[chronovore.livejournal.com]

It'll be okay. You're great, and it'll work out. It might not be when you expect it, but it will happen.

[shrijani.livejournal.com]

I hate bad days. Sorry you had one. =(

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Please do. It totally deserved it.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

These are good words. Thank you.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

*fistbump*

[nottygypsy.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I missed the hug fest. Belated hugs.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Never too late. Thank you.