clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2014-06-04 10:41 am
clevermanka) wrote2014-06-04 10:41 am
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Who ever said life is fair? Where is that written?
Day four of the SCD experiment. I introduced my first new vegetable this morning: peeled, seeded, boiled, and pureed yellow squash.
I get to eat that once a day for four days and if I notice no ill effects, yellow squash (one of my absolute least favorite vegetables) is back on the menu. Hooray? At least it's something else besides carrots?
This morning I went on walk instead of going to the gym. A walk. I went on a twenty-minute walk. And I returned home tired and sweating. The sweating was probably due to the ridiculously high humidity, but the tired was All Real Tired.
I sent a message to Andrew canceling our Sunday session. With my current energy levels I'm having difficulty climbing a flight of stairs, so forget pumping iron. Although I did have a nice little moment yesterday when, for the first time, I replaced the five-gallon jug of water for my Culligan dispenser without propping the bottle on my leg as I flipped it upside down. That was pretty great.
A few people have recently commented about how unfair it is that I work and work and work to improve my body and my body continues to, well, not thwart me, but certainly it doesn't get better. And while that doesn't please me, obviously, I don't get angry or sad about how unfair or unjust that is. I get angry and sad that it happens, but I'm not upset by the unfairness of it anymore. Similarly, I don't look for a silver lining or a higher meaning or any sort of positive spin from my experiences. I'm merely engaging in a very small but involved science experiment of N=1. And experiments never really fail. Just sometimes they don't give the results we want or expect. I'll leave you with one of my favorite TV show quotes of all time:
“I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.” --Marcus Cole (Babylon 5)
I get to eat that once a day for four days and if I notice no ill effects, yellow squash (one of my absolute least favorite vegetables) is back on the menu. Hooray? At least it's something else besides carrots?
This morning I went on walk instead of going to the gym. A walk. I went on a twenty-minute walk. And I returned home tired and sweating. The sweating was probably due to the ridiculously high humidity, but the tired was All Real Tired.
I sent a message to Andrew canceling our Sunday session. With my current energy levels I'm having difficulty climbing a flight of stairs, so forget pumping iron. Although I did have a nice little moment yesterday when, for the first time, I replaced the five-gallon jug of water for my Culligan dispenser without propping the bottle on my leg as I flipped it upside down. That was pretty great.
A few people have recently commented about how unfair it is that I work and work and work to improve my body and my body continues to, well, not thwart me, but certainly it doesn't get better. And while that doesn't please me, obviously, I don't get angry or sad about how unfair or unjust that is. I get angry and sad that it happens, but I'm not upset by the unfairness of it anymore. Similarly, I don't look for a silver lining or a higher meaning or any sort of positive spin from my experiences. I'm merely engaging in a very small but involved science experiment of N=1. And experiments never really fail. Just sometimes they don't give the results we want or expect. I'll leave you with one of my favorite TV show quotes of all time:
“I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.” --Marcus Cole (Babylon 5)