Okay so maybe not

[clevermanka]

I had a dream last night that was exhausting.

I'm a lucid dreamer. I always know I'm dreaming. Most of the time I can direct the action, or re-wind it to try something else, or, if all else fails, just make myself wake up to escape it. But last night, ugh.

Last night I dreamed I was back in school, studying some sort of physiology science--anatomy, something like that. And it was awful. I hated being in school, I hated going to class, I hated doing the homework, I hated all of it. I hated it to the point where I stopped doing stuff, started missing assignments, failing tests, everything. I remember thinking "Why did you go back to school? You hated school, remember? Remember how you still get home from work in the evenings, thrilled at the fact that you don't have homework?" The whole thing was so depressing and tiring and I couldn't find a way out of the mess so I resigned myself to withdrawing from the program.

I was still upset about it when I woke up this morning because that is how much I hated being in school.

So that was maybe a message to consider about possible life choices.

Comments

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

Going back to school, especially high school, would absolutely be a nightmare for me! *shudders*

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I thought maybe if I didn't have to write papers or something? But...yeah I really fucking hated being in school.

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

Are you having anxiety about your massage program while you are awake, or could this be something else?

My dreams are never directly what it looks like they might be. I once had what was very clearly an anxiety dream--my adult body was sitting in my first grade chair and my Latin teacher (a rotund man) was writing on the board with his right hand and erasing with his left. His body covered the text, so I couldn't see what to write down. But school has never been anxiety inducing for me, so for it to be in a school setting could be misleading. Maybe it is for you, too.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Nah, to be honest, I hadn't even thought about it in a couple weeks. Then this, out of nowhere. I don't generally pay much attention to dreams. I feel like they're mostly just brain vomit. But this was just so immediate and oppressive. I had nearly forgotten that caged feeling of being obligated to do stuff not on the clock. Ugh. *shudder*

[splix.livejournal.com]

I hated school too. HATED it. Sounds like a valid message.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yep. Like I mentioned to msmitti, above, I don't usually feel like my dreams have messages, but this one sure felt pretty obvious.

[stuology.livejournal.com]

I have that exact same dream, and I like school. Anxiety dream, for sure.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

That's just so mystifying, since I'm not anxious about...well, anything.

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

not even the dreaded summer SciFi thing?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Nah, that's not anxiety, that's just hate.

ETA: I'm perfectly capable and competent doing all that stuff, but so many of the participants (and the Housing reps) make me angry and irritable. That's why it bothers me so much. I'm not nervous about doing it wrong. I just hate doing it at all.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

Blech, that sucks. Shitty dreams that you can't get out of *shudder*
I love to read/study things, but yes, writing papers and doing homework... BITTER HATRED.

I could never wrap my head around the whole "first Imma tell you *what* Imma gonna tell you later, then Imma gonna take 25 pages to tell you what Imma gonna sum up in 3 paragraphs at the end"

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I just hated the never-ending responsibility. There was always more homework, another paper...

[kazoogrrl.livejournal.com]

Why I've nevet gone to grad school!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yeeeeeeeeeeep.