clevermanka | Talk to me about hysterectomies

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Talk to me about hysterectomies

People who've had their uteruses removed, tell me about your experiences. All the details, even if you think you're the only one in the world who had your issue(s). I want to hear about general physical changes, life impact, how it changed your orgasms, your moods, your everything--good and bad.

I am looking at just a basic hysterectomy. I would get to keep my ovaries.

Editing this post to add that the main overwhelming reason I am resistant to a hysterectomy is I have (have always had) spectacular orgasms with penetrative sex. Like, really great, mind-blowing orgasms. I have okay orgasms with other types of stimulation, but they absolutely don't compare to the orgasms I have with PIV sex and I'm pretty sure the Great Orgasms are largely due to the uterine wall contractions I experience with PIV orgasms. I know I will lose those with a hysterectomy (obviously), but maybe there's something else I'll have instead?

So yeah, that's how important those are. I am making a decision that will affect my health for the rest of my life based on how it's going to affect my sex life.

Anonymous commenting is on, so people who might come over here to comment from Tumblr can do so, and also if you're more comfortable commenting that way, go for it. I've screened the anon comments, is all, so they won't show up right away.

My online activity is going to be sporadic today (I'm catching up on three days of missed work, and I have a two-hour meeting this morning) so I might be slow to respond, but I value everyone's input.

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I would also like to know as I have a uterus that wants to be a vagina now and am looking at options...

I'm sorry to hear about your uncooperative uterus.

I hope we both get some good (if anecdotal) information!

20 years ago, at age 30, I was diagnosed with cancer and had a complete hysterectomy. Best decision I ever made. Not only did it save life-- turns out that my relatively low-risk endometrial cancer was hiding incipient ovarian cancer-- but it freed me from a lifetime of pms, periods, and now menopause that so may of my friends are suffering. Mood swings-- poof! Gone. Days of cramping and bloating? Gone. Birth control worries? Gone. Sex drive? Well, to be honest, I never had much of one to begin with, so I didn't notice much difference there. My life was my own again and not at the mercy of monthly cycles. I never wanted children, so that wasn't a concern or loss for me, although for years I had to deal with misplaced pity from women who thought I was somehow less a woman for the lack of a womb and ovaries. In truth, once I got past the fear, I really noticed no difference in my life, other than the freedom from pads, tampons, blood, mess and the like. I do take premerin to combat the occasional dryness and discomfort that occurs, but that's it.
Hope this helps somewhat, and best wishes for you in your future. Whatever decision you make, I'm sure it will be the right one for you.

I just now edited my post to reflect the fact that I have a very strong sex drive and my orgasms are super important to me. That's...an issue.

I'm child-free by choice, too, and yes, not worrying about All Those Things would be great.

Thank you so much for sharing! I appreciate it. Thank you also for the premerin suggestion.

Not enough time to tell everything, but to answer the questions you've posted, I had hot flashes for a couple of months, I wasn't expecting to have a child so no impact there, some initial loss of sex drive but thank god it came back with a vengeance, some dryness, and no impact on my moods. So much of what was happening was connected to my cancer, though so it's hard to separate the hysterectomy from everything else that was going on - I'm not sure I can be of much help, really. The only negative physiological change that I noticed as a direct effect is that I now have chin hair which I'm fanatically vigilant about, ICK. Oh, and the dryness, but that's what lube is for, if you need it. Basically, it fixed a lot of shit that went wrong and I'm glad about it every day, even the crummy ones.

Gracious. If I start to grow more facial hair, I am totally cutting my tresses and doing drag again.

Because this is you, and I trust you and feel like I can ask you directly about this sort of thing: How did your orgasms change when your sex drive returned? Do they actually feel any different?

I read your addendum and can't speak to it exactly - I've never had mindblowing orgasms from PIV sex and 99% of my best orgasms are either self-delivered or come from cunnilingus. That said, once that period of "meh" ended [and I was legit terrified that it was going to last forever], nothing about the quality, quantity, or duration of my orgasms changed at all.

Cool. Thanks!

OK, I had a hysterectomy as a sidelight to total pelvic floor failure -- that is, my uterus was within an inch of escaping my body, my bladder prolapsed, and my intestines were considering a jailbreak. The hysterectomy was done so the surgeons (plural) would have enough room to put the intestines back in place and repair the bladder drop.
The most peculiar and noticeable thing about the post landscape is the loss of the cervix. For those of us who have great penetrative sex, the cervix is something of a landmark for navigating to the right spot. The right spot is about 1:00 from the cervix. After surgery, it's like the vagina's orientation changes. The right spot drops to about 2:30. Great sex is still possible, but it will take a bit to reorient. The vagina is also a bit foreshortened since the loss of the cervix means that the material that had been around it has to be gathered into a solid surface.
Ugh --the healing process is no joy. I threw off a clot that looked like a complete hemorrhage, which sent me to the doctor. I just got no joy from any of it except the cessation of periods. Mine were never horrible or painful, so this does not count as a great benefit for me, though it might for you. If I think of anything else later I'll let you know.

Wow, this is super useful, thank you. Especially the details about penetrative sex. The shortened vagina is a little worrying--I'm already kind of short in that area (even when my cervix is as elevated as it'll go) so that's maybe something I need to talk to the surgeon about. BLESS YOU for going into those details.

Oh, I had words with the female parts surgeon beforehand because the guy I was seeing was built proportionally to his 6'9" -- and he may have been the ONLY person who found my presurgery vagina tight.
I think that possibly "reduced elasticity" is a better description of the post vagina...and that can affect width as well as length. I should hope a surgeon could describe this better than I can and advise you on the probabilities.

I had mine after other methods to control my constant periods (period, really - it never cycled on/off, just shed forever) failed. Hormones didn't stop it, so I had a balloon ablation, which meant the end of fertility for me, so it was at that point that my husband had a vasectomy & we went through our 'no more making children' emotions. But after six months, the bleeding started again, so it was time to say farewell to my uterus.

I've given birth twice. After the first one, I had awful scar tissue issues that made sex painful (more or less - depending) for like a year (and an inability to express that to my doctor - I switched OB/GYNs and she looked at me and was all, "oh, honey!" and I basically burst into tears during a pap smear.)

Before the first kid, PIV orgasms were hit-and-miss (ha), and sex drive was great. After the first kid, PIV orgasms were elusive b/c it turns out the libido gets all funky when there are pain worries. After the second kid, I started in on this eternal bleeding thing, which also, go figure, affected my libido. So for a long while there, sex was fun but not very orgasmic. (Also we had little kids, FT jobs, etc.) (Oh, and my breast reduction was in there somewhere, too, pre-ablation, and that came with its own libido-affecting issues.)

So I went into the hysterectomy with no expectations, except maybe that I'd need more lube. (Which I was wrong about! Mostly I'm sure because I kept my ovaries, which going in we weren't sure would be possible.) Turned out to be one of the best decisions for my sex life, as well as my overall health. I don't take hormones - don't know when I'll enter menopause (my mom and sis both hit menopause early - sis is younger than me and is going through perimenopause. I'm 46.) When I've had bloodwork done, my hormone levels are great. And maybe that's why, maybe it's the relief at not wondering what's happening inside me, maybe it's kids being older and life being less stressful. Whatever I've got going on combines to create an environment of high sex drive and easier clitoral orgasms. PIV, still not so much, certainly not without a clitoral orgasm to start the party - but since that wasn't a huge part of my life before, I'm not mourning it now.

Okay, that's way more info than even I usually share! Hope some of it helps.

I really appreciate your sharing such private information. Thank you, this is incredibly helpful.

I was a victim of Depo as well. For me, it manifested in a second puberty. An entire additional layer of fat was added to my body as it does when your hormones initially kick in original puberty. I can only guess that it also contributed to my horrific menopausal experience.

Dr. put me on the pill to regulate menopause and everything got worse. What I read in the Christine Northrup book was that I was probably suffering from estrogen overload. I went off the pill and it helped some of the problems, specifically the mood and rage issues.

Three years ago, I was diagnosed with multiple ovarian cysts and a uterine fibroid. Doctor suggested a full hysterectomy or potential cancer would occur. I DID NOT WANT TO DO IT but I did.

AND I have been healthier and happier than I have ever been in a decade.

I never thought I would be a supporter but it changed my life. I am now on no hormonal replacement therapy at all AND I FEEL GREAT.

As for sex and orgasms, sex hurts more than it did. Lubrication is a must as is gentleness. Can't take the pounding I used to. BUT orgasms came back on line in mind blowing ways. Something in there is still convulsing I can assure you.

Having to go about sex a little differently is DEFINITELY worth it. All other aspects of my health, mental and physical, are vastly improved.

This is invaluable. Bless you for sharing all of it!

I've never been able to take aggressively rowdy sex since (as I mentioned in a comment above) my vaginal canal is kinda short, even when I'm highly aroused.

Something in there is still convulsing I can assure you.

Best. News. Yet.

Your overall internal clitoris (it's quite an impressive organ on the inside) will all still be intact, I imagine, (and it damned well better be, I'd discuss that with the surgeon). I'm of the mind that mind-blowing PIV orgasms have more to do with an ease of hitting the G-spot and having good pelvic floor musculature. I'm increasingly convinced by the sharing here as well.
What wonderful friends. I'll talk to K tomorrow, I hope.
Wow. Maybe this will be The Thing that makes it all better for you, at least in the female organ issues.

PIV orgasms have more to do with an ease of hitting the G-spot and having good pelvic floor musculature.

Hmmm! GOOD POINTS. Also, having this tumor-laden organ removed might actually help with pelvic floor strength. I hadn't thought about that.

Yes!
Why did you have to end up with an alien in the wrong place, dammit.

I know this is not about me AT ALL, but I also want to thank your amazing friends for sharing. I'm starting to think a hysterectomy may be in my not too distant future as well, based on 10-12 day long periods that are leaving me anemic and miserable (because no one should be passing clots the size of golf balls. Not an exaggeration. I use a Diva cup, so I've measured them.) So, if I ever get health insurance, I'm thinking this information will be very useful to me.

I'm also finding this very educational.

YES. Definitely. I've lived for, gosh, nearly seven years thinking I just had massively heavy periods. Which wasn't untrue but there was certainly a lot more going on than just that. I hope you're able to get that insurance SOON.

Edited 2015-10-29 13:28 (UTC)

Absolutely useful. Doctors will tell you nothing. I love that the online community can share information, so no one is left in the dark again.

I fucking love the internet.

Still reading this, and I feel like "I owe you one" for starting this thread!

hi, I'm a friend of curieuse, who asked me if I would chime in about my experience. I had a hysterectomy at 44; one ovary was left (the other had been removed earlier), and I didn't go into menopause for several years, but when I started having vaginal atrophy, I went on hormones (a patch). My sex drive wasn't affected, and I didn't feel like my orgasms were, either. I was concerned about that, and had read a lot about it beforehand, but needed the surgery so I bit the bullet and was pleasantly surprised at how much better life has been since. I echo someone above who said really slamming sex ;) is not as enjoyable, probably due to the shortening of the vagina, but in no other way have things changed. Best of luck to you!

Thank you for dropping by and sharing your experiences. It's incredibly heartwarming that total strangers are helping me in my hour of need, and about very intimate things. Hope for humanity!

In 2001, I was experiencing serious prolapse of my uterus, with pelvic floor weakness that led to my bladder and bowel collapsing too. I had painful, heavy periods as far back as I can remember, sought treatment on numerous occasions, and never got any useful help. My woman OBGYN at the time, someone I considered trustworthy, said she really could not see any possible treatment other than surgery. By that time, the discomfort was such that I was willing to consider it.  My biggest fear was about my sex life—almost exactly as you describe yours. I loved PIV sex and had great orgasms every time, with my cervix and uterus involved. But when I consulted the surgeon, she said I really had no choice unless I wanted to end up with incontinence and my uterus falling right out of my body. Plus at this point I was having 23 day cycles with 10 days of bleeding, often so heavy I couldn’t leave the house.

The surgery was done vaginally, meaning no incision to heal, and it was really a piece of cake. I recovered rapidly and without pain. The surgeon said my uterus “looked like an asteroid,” because it was so bumpy and messed up with three large fibroids. The pathology report showed I also had adenomyosis, which is a type of endometriosis that has infiltrated the muscle walls in the uterus. And squamous metaplasia of the cervix. So, overall, definitely better off without it.

I’m not gonna lie, I still mourned for the organs I’d lost. Sex did become different. I’d kept my ovaries, but it didn’t feel the same. Shortly after surgery, I started having hot flashes and they were miserable. Possibly I was about to enter perimenopause even without the surgery. I went on estrogen/testosterone for a few years, and I rapidly recovered my sexual feelings. I think your friend above was right, and the internal clitoris recovered and supplied the intensity I used to feel when I still had my uterus/cervix. Again, I’m not gonna lie, it’s not quite the same. In my youth, I was a magnificent machine, and I feel that I have lost something. But easy and intense orgasms at 64 are not really something to complain about. My vaginal tissue is healthy and well-lubricated. So, really no problems.

And I can’t say enough about how fucking great it was not to have any more periods, ever. So much freedom!!! And no more worry about birth control, ever. Definitely there were benefits.

My pelvic floor problems continued. I think I may have some hereditary connective tissue weakness. And apparently I’d been doing a bunch of things that are not good for your pelvic floor. Not just four pregnancies, but also a lot of my previous tae kwon do activities, like jumping, crunches, and heavy lifting, can weaken the pelvic floor. And I’d had years of chronic coughing, also bad. I’d done Kegels out the wazoo, but they cannot fix your ligaments and that’s where the problem was. So I ended up having more pelvic repair surgery, where they use a mesh to support the pelvic floor. I know some people have problems with that, but it’s been 10 years, and my repairs are trouble-free. That surgery was a bigger deal because it had to be done via an incision. Now I have an 8-inch scar on my abdomen, but it healed up fine.

Naturally, I’d prefer that none of this happened, but given that I had the problems, I’m SO GLAD there was a way to cope. My quality of life now is so much better. And while there have been some changes to my sex life, I don’t consider them significant. I still enjoy great pleasure and much more freedom.

Thank you for such an informative comment! I'm surprised that the jumping and lifting weakened the pelvic floor. What a non-intuitive result. That's definitely something I'll need to keep an eye on. Much obliged for you bringing that up.

And while there have been some changes to my sex life, I don’t consider them significant. I still enjoy great pleasure and much more freedom

SO REASSURING. Thank you.

I had a total hysterectomy at 27 (8 years ago). Uterus and both ovaries. At the time, I was dancing a LOT, so I opted to leave my cervix in as my doctors advised me removal of the cervix would weaken my pelvic floor muscles (keeping the cervix means you still need to be screened for cervical cancer). Basically I had one because my body was going batshit crazy. Erratic cycles, crippling painful cramps that made me black out once from pain, huge, swollen breasts so painful putting on a shirt would make me wince, massive mood swings, depression, the list goes on. The endocrinologist said my hormone levels were "normal" but that my body was reacting to the "normal" levels as though things were very, very wrong. Switching birth control didn't help.

My hysterectomy process was a bit unique as I had been on Lupron injections for most of a year prior to the surgery. Lupron shut down all my hormones, putting me into menopause so I could experience a glimpse of what life would be like post-hysterectomy (and to build a paper-trail so insurance wouldn't be able to deny me the hysterectomy). As a result, when I had surgery, my uterus and ovaries were very reduced in size. My surgical procedure was laproscopic; two small (under an inch) incisions in my abdomen to poke the tools in there - the doctor described it as "peeling" my organs out like peeling an orange.

My recovery time was typical for me, longer than average but with no complications. I was put on HRT immediately (Vivelle DOT patches) following surgery & stayed on it until I started experimenting with my HRT about two years ago. I am back on the patch now. I did not experience any mourning or depression over no longer having a uterus and ovaries. I was too busy being ecstatic that I never had to worry about getting pregnant (which I still worried about pre-hysterectomy even though Rin had a vasectomy before we got married & I was on birth control so it should have been nigh impossible).

Post-hysterectomy by many years now, I still consider it one of the two best decisions in my life. I'm happier, healthier, and have a more fulfilling sex life. I am SO GRATEFUL not to have to deal with periods and the trauma that went with them for me. One of the first things I noticed was the money I saved on pads, tampons, and underwear/clothes! I personally believe my hysterectomy resulted in some weight gain. I've heard conflicting opinions on this; every body is different. I did not have issues with hot flashes or other menopause-related symptoms (apparently I got all that covered *before* the surgery!).

Re: orgasms - Like many of the other commenters on here, although I do get some pretty mind-blowing PIV orgasms (the kind where I damned near black out from pleasure), I tend to experience clitoral orgasms as more frequent and more satisfying. I have not noticed any significant change in orgasm quantity or quality post-hysterectomy. If anything, sex has been better because I can have sex anytime of the month I please & I don't have to worry about anything more than keeping the volume down. [g] I have noticed a decrease in libido but I don't think I can blame the hysterectomy for all of that for a variety of reasons (mostly extenuating circumstances).

Yeesh I wonder if LJ will even let me post this.

Edited 2015-10-30 01:20 (UTC)

Thank you, bb! I so much appreciate you typing all that out. YAY ORGASMS!

I have not had a hysterectomy, but this has been a fascinating read. Nobody is ever this open and honest about sex and how changing the body can/does change that experience. Thanks to everyone for sharing. I feel much more educated about my own (mostly healthy) body and things that are ab/normal.

I fucking love the internet.

Belatedly catching up on LJ. Sorry about the fibroid, hope it helps with some answers tho. I can understand the reluctance to part with a major muscle group that you get so much pleasure from but; if the fibroid is that big, and that imbedded in the muscle; it might be providing part of the pleasure. Problem is, these things don't just stay the same, they grow and can cause major problems, sometimes very suddenly.

I used to also have major cramps, and heavy periods. Was only on any sort of BC for less than 5 years tho. Fibroids still eventually popped up and grew, according to my Doc I was the equivalent of 4-5 months pregnant for over 2 years. Managed OK until the bleeding started, and wouldn't stop. Had a great GYN who tried to balance the hormones before resorting to surgery but after I ended up in the ER and they wouldn't let me out of the bed until I had had 2 pints of the red stuff, had to consider the surgery.

Surgery was, well, surgery :). I opted for a complete so there would be no worries about any of the cancers. Turned out to be a good idea as there was a nasty cyst on one of the ovaries. Recovery went fine, opted for low-dose estrogen (not Premarin) for many years, am now off it as I am at the 'usual' age for menopause. Can't say I noticed that much difference in the Big O, but not sure how much I was aware of the U. Not bleeding to death and the piece of mind for a couple of major cancers has been a plus. It is also kind of nice to stroll down the feminine hygiene aisle at the grocery store and go "NaNa NaNa Boo Boo >>>>>!

Oh my god. I'm glad you didn't bleed to death!

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Talk to me about hysterectomies

Uterine Prolapse

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What happened to me

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Sorry this is really long.

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