In my opinion you aren't dead

[clevermanka]

Separate post from the Link Dump since I didn't get around to making a Wednesday update yesterday.

I got dressed to go for a walk this morning! Put on my shoes, put in my earbuds, opened the front door, and...it was raining. Again. Still. Will probably do some yoga this afternoon which is fine, I guess. I was kind of hoping for something a little less, idk, mindful.

Everything continues to be All Guardian All The Time, so this very short poem by Franz Wright hit me with a whollop of feels.

I've been going through older Guardian fics and finding several treasures (although as someone who reads in multiple decades-old fandoms, the idea of "older" fic being from 2018 tickles me). I'm slowly adding them to my Fic Recs comment on my resources post.

This fandom is so fuckin' talented. I don't know what I'm thinking, trying to add my own words to their gorgeous stories but apparently I'm doing it! I said I was going to at least think about remixing naye's A constellation of two from Shen Wei's point of view and...I started it? I sent what I had to kazoogrrl with the question "is this worth continuing or should I chuck it be honest" and she gave me a thumbs up with some good advice so I'm continuing. Can't promise I'll finish, but...here's hoping.

Today, though, is an Art Day! I'm eventually making Con*Strict name badges for me, splix , and write_out (how much do I love a con that's so tiny they let you make your own stinking badges) but today is a practice day. It's been years (sob!) since I made any art and I know better than to jump in and hope all goes well so I'm working on remembering how to layer colors and textures. I know Real Artists keep these things called "sketchbooks" where they regularly practice their skills and that seems like a pretty good idea. Now that I have time and a little more energy, I should try that.

Non-Guardian related! One of my long-time internet buddies Melissa Joulwan posted a recipe I can't wait to try out next time I have company for dinner. I'm generally not a fan of shrimp (it's fine, just not my fave) but dang that sounds delicious.

Comments

[kazoogrrl]

Oh crap, that poem! I mean, I read the tweet first so I was prepared, except I WAS NOT PREPARED.

I am glad to encourage all your writing endeavors, so now I'll just wait here for final product. No pressure. ;)

Thanks for posting the recipe link! I always keep shrimp in the freezer as a quick protein option, so it's good to have more ways to use it. That cilantro shrimp recipe you passed along was also delicious. Last week I asked for salad recipes on FB, and I now have about two dozen to work my way though. I just want large bowls of cold food that don't involve me having to cook after work.

[clevermanka]

Mel's recipes are so reliably good. She's a treasure.

Thank you for your help and encouragement with the fic. I appreciate your assistance and honesty!

[khellekson]

YES to feeling the creative flow! Flow flow flow! If I were there I would come over and do tai chi with you, and then make you cook for me, because you are a fabulous cook.

I haven't written fic since I went on antianxiety meds. Coincidence? I think not!

[clevermanka]

I would LOVE that! We need our teleportation devices, already.

Ooof, I didn't realize those two things were (probably) related. Is it rude of me to ask how you feel about that? You don't have to answer.

[khellekson]

The drug makes me not care. So I guess I don't feel anything about it one way or another. Maybe I just need the right fandom to seduce me? I miss the sharp electric shock of emails, feedback, and love. I miss being able to write 8K words in a sitting.

The antianxiety meds really flatten me, psychically speaking. Physically it also makes me uninterested in sex, which is a known bug of the drug (Paxil), but I'm so relieved to not be freaking out at all times that it's OK.

[clevermanka]

That's rough, buddy. I'm glad you found some balance with it, at least!