Bloom

[clevermanka]

Guardian/adjacent:
Zhu Yilong's eyelashes. Zhu Yilong's face. Again. Zhu Yilong's jawline. Zhu Yilong's ass. Zhu Yilong exercising.
Fanart: Long-haired Zhao Yunlan with cat Da Qing and another with a sated-looking Shen Wei. Prof. Shen's fashion construction. Never ever over the Harper's Bazaar shoot.
I love their vastly different body types.

Last night I was reminiscing about better times, and remembered sitting in the Three-Patch Podcast suite at my first 221B Con (its second year, before the Sherlock fandom immolated), looking around the room at all these fic writers whose stuff I'd read thinking "I wonder what it's like to hang out and chat about your latest knitting project or your dog eating a dead squirrel with people who read what you write about your favorite fictional men putting their dicks in other favorite fictional men's butts." This morning I got a kudos email (bless those kudos emails) and realized that, provided I ever get to go somewhere again, I have the potential to be one of those people. I do have two local friends who read at least one of my stories, but they're not fans, you know? It's different. Kinda like how it's different hanging out with people who write original-content porn as a job. The fandom connection somehow makes it more intimate. Both consumer and creator share the characters in question in a way that an original-content author and reader don't. And then there's the extra level of two writers interacting and being like "Thank you for saying you like the way wrote Fave Fictional Man A deep-throating Fave Fictional Man B. I like the way you wrote Fave Fictional Man B rawing Fave Fictional Man A against the wall of a back alley." 

OH FANDOM ILU

I desperately want to write. I feel so much better when I'm writing regularly. Writing got me through a pretty awful period last year and I hate that I'm unable to escape into it right now. I haven't been able to write anything more than bits of editing here and there since Saturday.

After my brief, shining moment of alertness on the 24th, I've been dealing with Pretty Bad Fatigue. Three nights in a row I've woken around 1am, managed to catch light dozing between 6 and 8 and dragged myself through the rest of the day through sheer force of will. Saturday wasn't horrible but fatigue depression is starting to settle in. 

Such a drag.

Gonna try sewing some bloomers today if I can find any marginally appropriate lace in my stash. I despair of Cheeptrims ever having my preferred lace in stock at this point. It's been over a year. I wear my bloomers pretty much every day in the summer and I'm down to only one pair.

Comments

[riventhorn]

I hope you can sleep better tonight!! And I hear you on writing making you feel better. I had a wonderful surge of inspiration for a fic-- the mood of the story quickly established itself, I've thought of upcoming scenes, and it feels so great compared to when I want to write but am not inspired and every sentence is tough to get on the page. And along with the inspiration, my back is feeling okay, so I've been able to be at the computer more. Because it's also hard when you want to write but aren't physically up for it.

[clevermanka]

I'm so happy for your inspiration! YAY! and your back feeling better? DOUBLE YAY! It's so good to hear about people doing well right now. What fandom is the fic for?

[riventhorn]

Stranger Things. I have not actually seen the show but fell in love with one of the big ships and had to write them! It's an AU so I feel any liberties I take with characterization can be justified. :D

[clevermanka]

Oh, right right! I remember seeing that. Yay for finding exciting new characters to play with!

[nnozomi]

*hugs* I hope the fatigue fog lifts soon and you can get some satisfying writing done. Wish I could send you a package of good restful sleep.
(Also, those eyelashes. I mean.)

[clevermanka]

I wasn't a great sleeper before my health woes settled in, and when menopause got thrown into the mix, ha. Ha ha! If I get three nights a week of six consecutive hours, I'm thrilled. It's the four, five (eight, twelve) running nights of wakefulness that hurt. Fatigue + insomnia is suuuuuper annoying.

But yes, THOSE EYELASHES. God how is he so beautiful????????

[goss]

EYELASHES. JAWLINE. My morning is improved. ♥___♥

[clevermanka]

I'm so happy I could help your day!

[trobadora]

Ugh, IO hope the fatigue goes away soon. Totally agreed, I feel better when I'm writing, too. Not writing sucks.

[clevermanka]

I just want my brain for a few hours today. Is that really too much to ask?

[wrote_and_writ]

Cause of death: that Harper’s Bazaar shoot.

And, in general, hugs.

[clevermanka]

Cause of death: that Harper’s Bazaar shoot.
WHAT A WAY TO GO THO

[wrote_and_writ]

I ain’t complaining!

[naye]

I'm seething at your fatigue HOW DARE IT make everything so difficult?! This is not good at all and I really really hope you get to do some writing again soon. *hugs*

[clevermanka]

I KNOW YOU SYMPATHIZE!

I got a pair of bloomers made, at least, and that felt good.

[xparrot]

Wanting to sleep when your body won't actually let you sleep for some damn reason is the worst. As it wanting to write and not having the inspiration for it, I've been wrestling with that myself. It is so annoying when I know I'll feel better if I can write but then I just can't. May we both pull out of it sooner rather than later!

I love how the Harper's shoot goes from the meet cute to the engagement to the wedding portraits and maybe the honeymoon!

[clevermanka]

Crossing my fingers you get some good rest soon, too.

I love how that video is almost too intimate. I almost feel like I'm intruding by watching it. I hadn't noticed the progression before, but you're totally right. That's AWESOME. Gonna go watch it another five times with the new lens. Thank you!

[calystarose]

hwat is with Harper's Bazaar and their soft gay porn? this is not a complaint. just, between this one and the one with wang yibo & xiao zhan I am in fucking awe of what HB is getting away with :D

yeah, there is a special intimacy for fannish friendships I think. there's a reason my deepest friendships began when I found fandom.

*hugs* I hope you get a break in your fatigue soon.

[clevermanka]

I woke this morning feeling good! AMAZING. Thank you!

Yeah, I kinda wonder what's up with HB, too. I mean. Just. *flaps hand*

[brandywine28]

Omg! I've always wanted a cute pair of bloomers! (And a nightcap. A frilly one.) That is a certified Look!

[clevermanka]

If I ever manage to find a replacement lace that doesn't curl horribly in the wash but also isn't stiff and scratchy, I'll start making them to sell again. A few Toasties managed to snag them before I put my store on hiatus--sorry you weren't one of them!

[tinny]

yay for bloomers! I hope sleep came back to you... <3

damn, they photoshopped zhu yilong's eyelashes away with their stupid skin-blurring filter. how dare they?

are you sure the one you tagged zhu yilong's ass is zhu yilong? i would have bet that the second one is bai yu. (I stopped comparing pictures after 20 minutes, I couldn't find anything conclusive. It's just a hunch.)

[clevermanka]

Bloomers! Appropriate for any occasion!

Those other photos (the white shirt/black trousers) are Bai Yu I think, yes. Much too skinny for Zhu Yilong! 😁 My attention was mostly just on the uh... the one picture. Heh.

[tinny]

Much too skinny for Zhu Yilong!

Yes! Great minds... great asses! ;D

The shirt is so loose that I wasn't sure about the tiny waist, but it all screams Bai Yu to me.

I understand that Shen Wei's ass in those pants is very distracting. :D