clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2020-06-02 10:17 am
clevermanka) wrote2020-06-02 10:17 am
Waiting for better times
Guardian/adjacent:
Fanart: Modern long hair. A very chiseled Shen Wei. Modern young Shen Wei. Dragon and Knight Weilan AU.
Today's another Guardian Day on my Tumblr.
I'm sad to say I'm not going to be able to keep up with the Twitter curation anymore. I rely heavily on seeing retweets and likes from other people to find these things, so I've purposely kept my Twitter experience unfiltered. With the current climate in the U.S., I can't do that anymore. I'm constantly on the verge of tears, passively suicidal, and frankly Not Doing Well.well at all anymore), it was depressing as hell. At McKitterick's encouragement I've been saving tons of my old clothes when I was smaller and more active (as in, actually went places as well as general activity).
Yesterday I decided as soon as it's possible (no point in trying right now), I'm gonna try to sell some of them and ship the rest off to the locally-owned and operated thrift store (provided it's still even functioning by then). I'm done thinking about these clothes from a different life. Size 6 jeans? Are you kidding? HA HA HA. Nope. Tiny little garter belts and gartered girdles from my rockabilly days? Gone. Fancy belts, vests, and vintage ties from when I used to dress up for work? Outta here. All my nice work sweaters that aren't cashmere or otherwise sentimental are out, too, as are the lined fitted skirts and jackets. I have thirty blazers, one of which is a gorgeous 70s burgundy velvet number, but I can't even fit my upper arms into the sleeves anymore and even if I could, where would I wear it?
At least I bought 90% of this stuff at thrift stores.
I also exited from Facebook. Not for the usual nightmare reasons, just--I only used it to post resources for how to be a better person, how to fight injustice and bigotry, etc., and I don't have the spoons for that anymore. I wrote:
I know a lot of people here used to rely on me for information on how to help people and/or be a better person themselves. I can't continue doing that. I have to put on my own gas mask first (*rimshot*). I didn't want people to worry about my complete ghosting, though, so I'm making a rare, personal post.
I am immuno-compromised, unemployed, uninsured, and due to unwanted personal life/relationship changes I've been drowning in pretty much constant depression since August.
The pandemic added a garnish of chronic anxiety to the mix. I literally and metaphorically cannot afford to contract COVID-19. Even if I survived it, I couldn't psychologically bear the additional long-term effects. I've lost enough of my health and physical capability with the chronic illness(es) I already have, thanks.
Now the shadow of a full-scale fascist regime is on the horizon for the United States and I am sad and angry that I don't have it in me to fight it. It's embarrassing and it makes me grieve. It hurts to no longer be a person who can be aggressively loud in the face of injustice. I'm not apologizing, so please don't leave comments of consolation. That is not the point of this post.
The point (other than an overly-lengthy explanation of my departure) is to beg those of you who haven't reached your limits to continue fighting, but also continue learning.
Make the effort to find at least one article a week written by someone in a marginalized or oppressed group. Read it with compassion and an open mind. Look past your privilege and your pride to embrace inclusive ways of thinking. Question why you instinctively react to oppressed people fighting for their human rights. Never stop questioning authority--from your parents, to your priests and pastors, all the way to your world leaders. Then talk about what you've learned with others who share your privilege. Use your powers for good.
And finally, obviously, voice your outrage and opposition to our current trajectory to your legislators at the state and national levels. Use your voice while you still have it.
U.S.ians are rapidly running out of exits on the highway to (worse, full-scale) fascism, "led" by corporate-sponsored conservatives and a bigoted rapist who lost the national popular vote. I thank and respect those who are able and brave enough to protest in person.
I hope to see you again in better times.
Fandom, especially my fandom pals here, is my only comfort these days, so I'm definitely going to be sticking around here! Just... I don't know how robust my Twitter collections will be. I don't want to completely ditch Twitter like I did FB, though, so those of you who heavily curate your Twitter feeds, please refer me to tools and apps, etc.
Thank you, beloveds.
Fanart: Modern long hair. A very chiseled Shen Wei. Modern young Shen Wei. Dragon and Knight Weilan AU.
Today's another Guardian Day on my Tumblr.
I'm sad to say I'm not going to be able to keep up with the Twitter curation anymore. I rely heavily on seeing retweets and likes from other people to find these things, so I've purposely kept my Twitter experience unfiltered. With the current climate in the U.S., I can't do that anymore. I'm constantly on the verge of tears, passively suicidal, and frankly Not Doing Well.
This all came to a head when I spent a hideous day yesterday transferring my wardrobes. Not only was it warm work (I don't regulate temperatures
Yesterday I decided as soon as it's possible (no point in trying right now), I'm gonna try to sell some of them and ship the rest off to the locally-owned and operated thrift store (provided it's still even functioning by then). I'm done thinking about these clothes from a different life. Size 6 jeans? Are you kidding? HA HA HA. Nope. Tiny little garter belts and gartered girdles from my rockabilly days? Gone. Fancy belts, vests, and vintage ties from when I used to dress up for work? Outta here. All my nice work sweaters that aren't cashmere or otherwise sentimental are out, too, as are the lined fitted skirts and jackets. I have thirty blazers, one of which is a gorgeous 70s burgundy velvet number, but I can't even fit my upper arms into the sleeves anymore and even if I could, where would I wear it?
At least I bought 90% of this stuff at thrift stores.
I also exited from Facebook. Not for the usual nightmare reasons, just--I only used it to post resources for how to be a better person, how to fight injustice and bigotry, etc., and I don't have the spoons for that anymore. I wrote:
I know a lot of people here used to rely on me for information on how to help people and/or be a better person themselves. I can't continue doing that. I have to put on my own gas mask first (*rimshot*). I didn't want people to worry about my complete ghosting, though, so I'm making a rare, personal post.
I am immuno-compromised, unemployed, uninsured, and due to unwanted personal life/relationship changes I've been drowning in pretty much constant depression since August.
The pandemic added a garnish of chronic anxiety to the mix. I literally and metaphorically cannot afford to contract COVID-19. Even if I survived it, I couldn't psychologically bear the additional long-term effects. I've lost enough of my health and physical capability with the chronic illness(es) I already have, thanks.
Now the shadow of a full-scale fascist regime is on the horizon for the United States and I am sad and angry that I don't have it in me to fight it. It's embarrassing and it makes me grieve. It hurts to no longer be a person who can be aggressively loud in the face of injustice. I'm not apologizing, so please don't leave comments of consolation. That is not the point of this post.
The point (other than an overly-lengthy explanation of my departure) is to beg those of you who haven't reached your limits to continue fighting, but also continue learning.
Make the effort to find at least one article a week written by someone in a marginalized or oppressed group. Read it with compassion and an open mind. Look past your privilege and your pride to embrace inclusive ways of thinking. Question why you instinctively react to oppressed people fighting for their human rights. Never stop questioning authority--from your parents, to your priests and pastors, all the way to your world leaders. Then talk about what you've learned with others who share your privilege. Use your powers for good.
And finally, obviously, voice your outrage and opposition to our current trajectory to your legislators at the state and national levels. Use your voice while you still have it.
U.S.ians are rapidly running out of exits on the highway to (worse, full-scale) fascism, "led" by corporate-sponsored conservatives and a bigoted rapist who lost the national popular vote. I thank and respect those who are able and brave enough to protest in person.
I hope to see you again in better times.
Fandom, especially my fandom pals here, is my only comfort these days, so I'm definitely going to be sticking around here! Just... I don't know how robust my Twitter collections will be. I don't want to completely ditch Twitter like I did FB, though, so those of you who heavily curate your Twitter feeds, please refer me to tools and apps, etc.
Thank you, beloveds.
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