clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2020-06-02 10:17 am
clevermanka) wrote2020-06-02 10:17 am
Waiting for better times
Guardian/adjacent:
Fanart: Modern long hair. A very chiseled Shen Wei. Modern young Shen Wei. Dragon and Knight Weilan AU.
Today's another Guardian Day on my Tumblr.
I'm sad to say I'm not going to be able to keep up with the Twitter curation anymore. I rely heavily on seeing retweets and likes from other people to find these things, so I've purposely kept my Twitter experience unfiltered. With the current climate in the U.S., I can't do that anymore. I'm constantly on the verge of tears, passively suicidal, and frankly Not Doing Well.well at all anymore), it was depressing as hell. At McKitterick's encouragement I've been saving tons of my old clothes when I was smaller and more active (as in, actually went places as well as general activity).
Yesterday I decided as soon as it's possible (no point in trying right now), I'm gonna try to sell some of them and ship the rest off to the locally-owned and operated thrift store (provided it's still even functioning by then). I'm done thinking about these clothes from a different life. Size 6 jeans? Are you kidding? HA HA HA. Nope. Tiny little garter belts and gartered girdles from my rockabilly days? Gone. Fancy belts, vests, and vintage ties from when I used to dress up for work? Outta here. All my nice work sweaters that aren't cashmere or otherwise sentimental are out, too, as are the lined fitted skirts and jackets. I have thirty blazers, one of which is a gorgeous 70s burgundy velvet number, but I can't even fit my upper arms into the sleeves anymore and even if I could, where would I wear it?
At least I bought 90% of this stuff at thrift stores.
I also exited from Facebook. Not for the usual nightmare reasons, just--I only used it to post resources for how to be a better person, how to fight injustice and bigotry, etc., and I don't have the spoons for that anymore. I wrote:
I know a lot of people here used to rely on me for information on how to help people and/or be a better person themselves. I can't continue doing that. I have to put on my own gas mask first (*rimshot*). I didn't want people to worry about my complete ghosting, though, so I'm making a rare, personal post.
I am immuno-compromised, unemployed, uninsured, and due to unwanted personal life/relationship changes I've been drowning in pretty much constant depression since August.
The pandemic added a garnish of chronic anxiety to the mix. I literally and metaphorically cannot afford to contract COVID-19. Even if I survived it, I couldn't psychologically bear the additional long-term effects. I've lost enough of my health and physical capability with the chronic illness(es) I already have, thanks.
Now the shadow of a full-scale fascist regime is on the horizon for the United States and I am sad and angry that I don't have it in me to fight it. It's embarrassing and it makes me grieve. It hurts to no longer be a person who can be aggressively loud in the face of injustice. I'm not apologizing, so please don't leave comments of consolation. That is not the point of this post.
The point (other than an overly-lengthy explanation of my departure) is to beg those of you who haven't reached your limits to continue fighting, but also continue learning.
Make the effort to find at least one article a week written by someone in a marginalized or oppressed group. Read it with compassion and an open mind. Look past your privilege and your pride to embrace inclusive ways of thinking. Question why you instinctively react to oppressed people fighting for their human rights. Never stop questioning authority--from your parents, to your priests and pastors, all the way to your world leaders. Then talk about what you've learned with others who share your privilege. Use your powers for good.
And finally, obviously, voice your outrage and opposition to our current trajectory to your legislators at the state and national levels. Use your voice while you still have it.
U.S.ians are rapidly running out of exits on the highway to (worse, full-scale) fascism, "led" by corporate-sponsored conservatives and a bigoted rapist who lost the national popular vote. I thank and respect those who are able and brave enough to protest in person.
I hope to see you again in better times.
Fandom, especially my fandom pals here, is my only comfort these days, so I'm definitely going to be sticking around here! Just... I don't know how robust my Twitter collections will be. I don't want to completely ditch Twitter like I did FB, though, so those of you who heavily curate your Twitter feeds, please refer me to tools and apps, etc.
Thank you, beloveds.
Fanart: Modern long hair. A very chiseled Shen Wei. Modern young Shen Wei. Dragon and Knight Weilan AU.
Today's another Guardian Day on my Tumblr.
I'm sad to say I'm not going to be able to keep up with the Twitter curation anymore. I rely heavily on seeing retweets and likes from other people to find these things, so I've purposely kept my Twitter experience unfiltered. With the current climate in the U.S., I can't do that anymore. I'm constantly on the verge of tears, passively suicidal, and frankly Not Doing Well.
This all came to a head when I spent a hideous day yesterday transferring my wardrobes. Not only was it warm work (I don't regulate temperatures
Yesterday I decided as soon as it's possible (no point in trying right now), I'm gonna try to sell some of them and ship the rest off to the locally-owned and operated thrift store (provided it's still even functioning by then). I'm done thinking about these clothes from a different life. Size 6 jeans? Are you kidding? HA HA HA. Nope. Tiny little garter belts and gartered girdles from my rockabilly days? Gone. Fancy belts, vests, and vintage ties from when I used to dress up for work? Outta here. All my nice work sweaters that aren't cashmere or otherwise sentimental are out, too, as are the lined fitted skirts and jackets. I have thirty blazers, one of which is a gorgeous 70s burgundy velvet number, but I can't even fit my upper arms into the sleeves anymore and even if I could, where would I wear it?
At least I bought 90% of this stuff at thrift stores.
I also exited from Facebook. Not for the usual nightmare reasons, just--I only used it to post resources for how to be a better person, how to fight injustice and bigotry, etc., and I don't have the spoons for that anymore. I wrote:
I know a lot of people here used to rely on me for information on how to help people and/or be a better person themselves. I can't continue doing that. I have to put on my own gas mask first (*rimshot*). I didn't want people to worry about my complete ghosting, though, so I'm making a rare, personal post.
I am immuno-compromised, unemployed, uninsured, and due to unwanted personal life/relationship changes I've been drowning in pretty much constant depression since August.
The pandemic added a garnish of chronic anxiety to the mix. I literally and metaphorically cannot afford to contract COVID-19. Even if I survived it, I couldn't psychologically bear the additional long-term effects. I've lost enough of my health and physical capability with the chronic illness(es) I already have, thanks.
Now the shadow of a full-scale fascist regime is on the horizon for the United States and I am sad and angry that I don't have it in me to fight it. It's embarrassing and it makes me grieve. It hurts to no longer be a person who can be aggressively loud in the face of injustice. I'm not apologizing, so please don't leave comments of consolation. That is not the point of this post.
The point (other than an overly-lengthy explanation of my departure) is to beg those of you who haven't reached your limits to continue fighting, but also continue learning.
Make the effort to find at least one article a week written by someone in a marginalized or oppressed group. Read it with compassion and an open mind. Look past your privilege and your pride to embrace inclusive ways of thinking. Question why you instinctively react to oppressed people fighting for their human rights. Never stop questioning authority--from your parents, to your priests and pastors, all the way to your world leaders. Then talk about what you've learned with others who share your privilege. Use your powers for good.
And finally, obviously, voice your outrage and opposition to our current trajectory to your legislators at the state and national levels. Use your voice while you still have it.
U.S.ians are rapidly running out of exits on the highway to (worse, full-scale) fascism, "led" by corporate-sponsored conservatives and a bigoted rapist who lost the national popular vote. I thank and respect those who are able and brave enough to protest in person.
I hope to see you again in better times.
Fandom, especially my fandom pals here, is my only comfort these days, so I'm definitely going to be sticking around here! Just... I don't know how robust my Twitter collections will be. I don't want to completely ditch Twitter like I did FB, though, so those of you who heavily curate your Twitter feeds, please refer me to tools and apps, etc.
Thank you, beloveds.
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You're wise to do what's best for you mentally and emotionally right now in terms of disengaging. Thank heavens we have fandom!
I've never had a close relationship with clothes, but agree it is always hard to part with facets of our life that we remember fondly. Would you be able to take a few non crucial elements from some of your favorite pieces to save? For example, maybe a button that you could turn into a winter holidays ornament? My family is big on turning cherished things into ornaments!
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My favourite spaghetti hair! GORGEOUS. ♥________♥
*HUGS HUGS HUGS YOU*
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Thank you, beloveds.
Thank *you*, babe, you are awesome. <3<3<3
Sorting out clothes always depresses me, too, BTW. There are so many memories attached to clothes. But you will find new gorgeous clothes that fit the new gorgeous you, and go on to make new memories in them, once this BS is done with.
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Yeah. I hate retiring from activism, but I'm fifty years old and my body is (kinda literally) allergic to stress. I can't do it anymore. Just one more skin to shed, I suppose, but it's so awful to be doing it now.
Here's to better times. *clink*
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Definitely, you have to take care of yourself first. But I'm glad you're sticking around here!
(The "modern long hair" artwork is gorgeous, btw. Saved that immediately.)
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The main thing I do to curate Twitter really is turning off RTs from something like 90% of the accounts I follow. (And as I was just saying elsewhere, if by any chance you haven't already turned RTs off on my public account, please do.)
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*HUGS*
Embodiment is hard. Brains are hard. All of this at once is too much piled on too much. I'm glad you want to stick around here because I'd miss you so much otherwise.
those of you who heavily curate your Twitter feeds, please refer me to tools and apps, etc
Step 1: Tweetdeck (https://tweetdeck.twitter.com/)
Step 1a, if you like me hate the default look of Tweetdeck: https://multirow.page/ (Go to the layer icon in the menu and create a profile and then save your changes and it will carry over to Tweetdeck.)
Step 2: Make lists. Here's a public one I made for Guardian artists: https://twitter.com/i/lists/1267034314526646274 (Though I don't think you can add my list to your Tweetdeck)
Step 3: Turn off retweets (Menu in each column > Tweet contents > Retweets excluded)
For my artist lists I filter out anything that isn't a media Tweet by Menu > Tweet contents > Showing [Tweets with images]
You can do something similar with friends you want to check up on. If you exclude retweets you might get personal commentary on the situation, but you won't usually see a lot of news.
OH! And of course mute keywords! Things muted in "normal" Twitter carry over into Tweetdeck, but you can always add them for each column you've got. So if you see something you didn't think of muting (like a hashtag of the day) you can always just add it there without having to go all the way to Twitter's settings.
And for tomorrow's roundup: https://twitter.com/howcomelikethis/status/1267879651285721088 ♥
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As for the rest, I sometimes think about that preflight instruction regarding oxygen masks. You have to put yours on first before you can help anyone else. You've done so. much. but at the end of the day you've gotta be able to breath.
*** OMG and I just reread what you said above and you already said that about the mask. Hello reading comprehension, I has it! Well, I'm reinforcing that notion. <3 <3
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And yes THANK YOU ST. FUCK.
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Looking after yourself is the most important thing. I'm glad you're staying around on Dreamwidth. ♥♥♥
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And yes, definitely staying here as long as I can. All my friends are here! 😆
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I avoid Twitter myself because I can't handle it at the best of times, which these are decidedly not. The best I can do is keep a single browser tab open that shows me things tagged with #zhu yilong, so I can lose myself in the pretty now and then. All your links have been wonderful and I appreciate them, but taking care of yourself is more important, always.
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And for what it's worth, crisis shelters, immigrant organizations, and women's "safe place" type organizations are always looking for clothing, especially business clothes. So if your thrift store isn't available when you're ready to donate, perhaps one of those other kinds of organizations would be happy to take such items off your hands. Take care --
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There are so many taking up the banner of Educating New Activists. I'm grateful. I, too, am frustrated to not be a fabulous CJ at my age, but...limitations. Please, youth of today, you're our only hope.
I wish I could wear the fabulous velvet blazer (imagining how it would look if I do take the plunge and go back to my short hair).
I'm so sorry things are shitty.
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I really hope that the world gives itself and you a break soon, and in the meantime I hope that curating your Twitter more will let you have your Twitter space back!
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