Happy birthday, Priest

[clevermanka]

Guardian/adjacent:
Fanart: the likenesses! May I have some trust? Bao bao. The glasses come off. This is not okay. naye tells me the text says Long Time No See. June 13 is Priest's birthday so there's a bunch of fanart from the zine being posted along with anniversary art. More anniversary art.
I've posted this bts shot of Bai Yu (in Kunlun hair) snapping a pic of bb!SW, but have it again.
Cast and crew group shots.
I will never tire of ZYL discovering his angry!SW kink.

Continued thanks to naye and wrote_and_writ . I have so many more links for fanart waiting in the wings. So, so many. ♥ Thought it would be good to space them out, though.

The OTW and AO3 really do need to do better at addressing racism in fandom. How I'm not sure. I'm not an archivist, I'm not a racial minority, my opinion on that side of things doesn't matter anyway but yes I support people calling for some sort of recognition and reform.

I'd like to mention as well that at Con*Strict I met and interacted in person with the Franzeska mentioned in the thread linked above (the one who wrote that meta post that I'm not going to link to, I'm sure you all know the one). The first year I thought she was interesting and had good things to say about vidding. Personality wise we didn't click but not everybody likes me personally either, so whatever. Then that essay came out and I was like whoa, wow, wait. I... thought that person was kind of okay? (of course I did, I'm white)

The summer after that, when Con*Strict rolled around and I attended and needed a ride from the airport, she offered. I was like, hmmm, all right, here's an opportunity! So I took her up on it but warned her I wanted to talk to her in person about the essay. It had been a while (months I think) since she'd published it so perhaps she'd had some time to think about it. Her response to my query though was to double down on everything she'd said, emphasize that she had black fan friends who took her side, and accused the main (non-white) critics of her as overly sensitive or not understanding, etc. etc. I, uh... didn't speak to her the rest of the con.

Her continued presence at that (very very small con) is one of the reasons won't be attending that con again. The other is, of course, last year's loss of our belovedsplix, who first invited me to attend the con and whose absence would, I fear, mar the experience too heavily for me.

Speaking of racism in fandom, here's a great piece, linked in yesterday's Rec Center, about racism in Kpop and the performative aspects of supporting Black Lives Matter.

Yesterday was another terrible fatigue day. At least I had a good day on Thursday, but Wednesday and Friday hitting so hard and close together has done a number on my emotional state. My heart is very heavy today, woke up fighting tears and haven't really gotten away from that. I'm not sure how much I'll be online today (or I might be online a lot if writing doesn't go well). Thank you for understanding delayed responses.

Comments

[wrote_and_writ]

💖💖💖

[clevermanka]

😚

[naye]

So much goodness for this happy day! \o/ Thank you for sharing. ♥

That story about the essay - whew. I haven't read it, but I heard about it, and I am so glad you talked to her and so dismayed (but not surprised) she doubled down.

Regarding AO3: elections are coming up. They start on June 19th, when we'll find out who's running for the board. It will be interesting to see their platforms, and a good opportunity to amplify the call for you've got to do better and ask what each and every person who wants to be in charge of AO3 plans to do about it. (You have to be an OTW member to vote - which I am - but I don't think the candidates can refuse to accept input from non-members?)

Sending my strongest anti-fatigue vibes your way! *hugs*

[clevermanka]

Your comment yesterday about being inspired by my dedication to writing was the ONLY thing that got me to crank out 1k words of Deconstruction this morning. Thank You.

Thank you also about that reminder about elections! I'm definitely going to put more time into that than I usually do.

And I don't know that what I did could really be called "talking" to Franzi. I asked her if she'd reformed any of her opinions about the comments on the essay and she pretty much monologued about her grievances the rest of the way to the hotel. Honestly I didn't know what else to say that silence couldn't. I spent a lot of that weekend praying she wouldn't get interested in Guardian... *knock wood*

[naye]

1000 words!! I find that genuinely amazing and inspiring and I'm so glad you're writing. ♥

I'm definitely going to put more time into that than I usually do.
*nods*

I've been thinking I should share anything I write here and on Twitter.

...right so Franzi? She's in the virtual con I'm attending this weekend. >_> I am not planning on doing any group activities but still. (On the bright side I did not see her in Ancient Chinese Boyfriends so fingers crossed!)

I can't believe this was so recent and she still just. Doesn't get it. (Okay, no - I do believe it! Because I absolutely know what it's like to have the privilege to just ignore things that make me uncomfortable and I more than understand the impulse to argue people just don't get you. It's just sad when that discomfort becomes more important to a white person than you know. Not being hurtful and racist.)

[clevermanka]

She's in the virtual con I'm attending this weekend
Of course she is. She's a very important fan, you know. It's too bad--she really does have a great deal of important institutional knowledge and history. It's just she is also a missing stair. Or, I guess, these days not so missing so much as allowed by the homeowners...

I see your Twitter wordcount reports and they always make me smile. Hurray for any and all nayewords!

[naye]

If I can be petty for just a second I literally had no idea who she was until someone mentioned her in the context of people who vid poorly. Then I had a vague memory of maybe seeing her name around. But yeah, seeing her pop up in that thread I was like "Is that the woman who doesn't vid well?"

Nayewords make me happy! Every day there's something, which is better than nothing! (I recorded about 45 minutes of podfic today - starting on the really emotional chapters of Kaleidoscope and whew. I'm a little wrung out but also very satisfied.)

[clevermanka]

LOL well I'll be petty back with you--several of her vids use the things she explicitly said not to do in her discussion of vidding that first year. I have seen a couple of her vids that I thought were perfectly fine (there was one shown at last year's Con*Strict that I actually enjoyed), but I remember her going on about not using clips that have people's lips moving in dialogue and then she does that? not infrequently? *shrug*

Nayewords make everybody happy, darling. I just finished the last of the Truly Angsty parts of Deconstruction (😭 and also 😅) so I am with you on feeling wrung out.

[naye]

Ahhh we should both just toast our successes (WELL DONE getting through the Truly Angsty bits) and relax now. ♥

[clevermanka]

🍾🥂🍾

[naye]

♥♥♥

[trobadora]

This is not okay.

But possibly the cutest thing I've seen all week. :D

[clevermanka]

appropriate icon is appropriate

[khellekson]

Ah Franzeska...

That reminds me that she has my black travel jacket with the Good Pockets (for reasons too tedious to go into now), and I have not prioritized getting it back.

[clevermanka]

The loss of the jacket in exchange for never interacting with her again is probably not the worst trade.

[minoanmiss]

*reads, and contemplates*

Also, hooray for writing!

[clevermanka]

And they were ROUGH WORDS, too. Glad that part of the story is written and done, finally.

Hugs, bb. I can't really imagine how rough it is being one of the people so horribly affected by the shittiness of some shitty fans.

[minoanmiss]

*hugs you very much back*

[clevermanka]

[plingo_kat]

That ZYL moment where he discovers his new kink is so *chef's kiss* I'd forgotten about it, thanks for reminding me.

RE: Franzeska I'd also had a similar runin (it was just a general fan meetup group) and same, she seemed to have interesting ship ideas in one of the fandoms I was in although I thought she was kind of abrasive, and now I'm like. Yikes. Time to never go to that meetup again I guess.

Take time to rest up <33

[clevermanka]

Geez Louise, seems like half the people here've had unfortunate interactions with Franzi. And I'm not even gonna go into the horrible offhand comments she makes in panels good lord...

💕 ZYL and his kinks 💕

[ranalore]

Oh, you should have been around in anime/manga fandom in the early aughts. Though I understand you can still get the same experience if you share Asia-based fandoms with her.

[clevermanka]

Here's hoping that never happens. 🤞🤞🤞

[bonibaru]

It doesn't even have to be a fandom you share with her; any fannish space she enters, there are always multiple people who quietly exit the room and don't return.

[clevermanka]

Well if she ever darkens the doors of Guardian, I'm gonna make sure she's not welcome in my fandom space and if that gets me kicked out of comms OH WELL.

[clevermanka]

Please give everyone (well, you know, ALMOST everyone) my regards if it happens!

I have to say, I also have reservations about attending that small of a con where most everyone knows/is of the opinion that she's a problem and just ... puts up with her? I honestly didn't realize that the general dislike of her was so, uh, general.

[clevermanka]

I think it'd take her doing actual harm for anyone to say/do something.
But... she... is? She is doing harm by continuing to be a loud voice in fandom that regularly spouts racist stuff. She might not be directly punching someone in the face, but I bet it sure feels like a punch in the face if you're a black fan looking for a safe space in a con.

[clevermanka]

at least with this group, it would probably take her actually punching someone in the face for anything to be done
Hm. Sounds like a group I don't feel comfortable engaging with anymore, then. 😕

[bonibaru]

I think it'd take her doing actual harm for anyone to say/do something. I don't know that she's an actual problem so much as an annoyance

She's left up a racist essay on AO3 for four years and never once addressed the concerns brought up by others nor apologized nor shown any signs of growth or change. She actively causes people to leave or avoid spaces they know where she'll be.

That's not doing actual harm?

[umadoshi]

*hugs* I hope the day improved as it went on.

[clevermanka]

It did, thank you! We watched the second chapter of John Wick and took a walk before the sun set and I had cold, leftover noodles for a late dinner.

[tinny]

The OTW and AO3 really do need to do better at addressing racism in fandom. How I'm not sure. I'm not an archivist, I'm not a racial minority, my opinion on that side of things doesn't matter anyway but yes I support people calling for some sort of recognition and reform.

That is exactly my current stance on the topic. I will have to read up on it, on the suggestions and possible solutions. As always, protection is easy to tip over into censorship, so it sure has to be done carefully. I have no idea how, right now, either.

I will never tire of ZYL discovering his angry!SW kink.

Me neither, especially since it's one of the few things I realized on my own and didn't need fandom to hit me over the head with it (like they had to do with 99% of things so I would get them).

[clevermanka]

This is the first board elections I'm gonna pay careful attention to and no, the evidence of that privilege is not lost on me.

[write_out]

Franzi likes the sound of her own voice too much to listen to anyone else. I don't know that I've ever been around someone who is so love with her own opinions that she'll cut you off to share them. I've only been around her twice now, but that's two times too many. I also didn't care for the way she basically avoided Alex this last time either (not that Alex had ANY problems with that).

I hope you found some more energy and light today. <3

[bonibaru]

She never seems to notice that when she enters a space the conversation around her just sort of ... dies.

[clevermanka]

If she does notice, she probably appreciates it, tbh, since that means an easier time in the spotlight for her.

[write_out]

Yep, I certainly noticed it.

[clevermanka]

To this fucking day I regret not calling her out on that "person dying of cancer" anecdote while Splix was sitting right there. The only thing that kept my mouth shut was I didn't think Splix would want me to make a scene but I've questioned that decision so many times. So, so many times.

[write_out]

Try not to, girl, seriously. She really wouldn't have and I think we were MUCH more bothered by it than she was at that point.

[clevermanka]

Thank you.

[bonibaru]

It will not surprise you to know the particular person you mentioned is still driving people out of fandom spaces and events. I can't blame the people who actively seek to avoid her even if it means not doing something they love, just to have her presence ruin it for them.

I mean it's been *four years*. If she understood or cared about people's responses she'd have done something. She hasn't.

[clevermanka]

I can't blame those people, either, but I can blame the ones who stay quiet about it (the ones w/o social anxiety etc., anyway--I know that sort of confrontation is beyond what a lot of fans can face). Seriously, I knew she thought of herself as a sort of BNF but until so many others chimed in about her here I had no idea that she... actually kinda is a BNF.

I will pinky swear with anyone who wants to join me that I will do my damnedest to make sure she knows she is not welcome by me in any sandbox I share. No more missing stairs under my watch.

(holy shit, on a whim, I just checked and... she has me on her access list here What The Actual Fuck)

(eta: oh, and subscribes to me, too, so this might be fun)

[brandywine28]

So I'm not proud of this, but it took me a full week to get my act together enough to read the full OTW statement, and -- God.

[clevermanka]

God
Yeah, that's an appropriate response.