clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2020-12-09 09:07 am
clevermanka) wrote2020-12-09 09:07 am
Wednesday
Guardian/adjacent
Z1L cuteness thread.
Bai Yu's cheer of excitement.
🎵Lollipop lollipop oh lolly lolly lolly.🎵
Never over the nosebleed scene.
Fanart: Domestic flirting. Grocery shopping. Oh god I feel this hug from behind in my soul.
Spotify question: I follow several people, butbonibaru is only one that shows up in my Friend's Activity frame. Are the rest of y'all on private sessions all the time, or am I the only one who listens to Spotify all day every day?
Alas, friends, I'm struggling again. Monday went so well! But then yesterday I woke overwhelmed with... well, nothing new I suppose, just another wave of it ...and got zero words down, either for fic or job stuff. I was too mentally fragile to even watch a full episode of Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty because it was Just Too Stressful. 😂
I recognize that stress (mental or physical--our bodies treat it all the same) is a major factor in triggering all my illness manifestations and brain fog is real and I don't blame myself for not being able to do anything but none of that helps the logistics/reality of my situation. And then I start to despair over what if this is just my life now? What if my brain (well, what was left of it) never comes back?
Would actually wind up on the streets if everything collapsed out from under me? No. I am well aware of this fact. If the absolute worst comes to worst I could always *shudder* live with my parents. They love me (as best they can without understanding me at all) and would probably be relieved that there was something they could do to help. I'd be miserable, but I'd be housed and fed. Although I would have to abandon my beautiful, giant, leopard-print couch because there is definitely no room in their condo for it. I'd probably have to shed just about everything except my clothes, really. Ooof, okay, best not dwell on that too much.
I need to leave the house at some point today or tomorrow (first time since November 20) to pick up my thyroid medication. Perhaps the perspective shift will rattle something loose in my brain that'll let me focus. But right now I honestly don't feel safe to drive.
My neighbor is outside, talking with with a repair person beside their truck. They're standing about four feet apart, smoking cigarettes with masks hanging off an ear. sigh
ETA: And then I get a comment on Deconstruction from someone who found the fic yesterday and read it all in one sitting. o_O Incredible.
Z1L cuteness thread.
Bai Yu's cheer of excitement.
🎵Lollipop lollipop oh lolly lolly lolly.🎵
Never over the nosebleed scene.
Fanart: Domestic flirting. Grocery shopping. Oh god I feel this hug from behind in my soul.
Spotify question: I follow several people, but
bonibaru is only one that shows up in my Friend's Activity frame. Are the rest of y'all on private sessions all the time, or am I the only one who listens to Spotify all day every day?Alas, friends, I'm struggling again. Monday went so well! But then yesterday I woke overwhelmed with... well, nothing new I suppose, just another wave of it ...and got zero words down, either for fic or job stuff. I was too mentally fragile to even watch a full episode of Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty because it was Just Too Stressful. 😂
I recognize that stress (mental or physical--our bodies treat it all the same) is a major factor in triggering all my illness manifestations and brain fog is real and I don't blame myself for not being able to do anything but none of that helps the logistics/reality of my situation. And then I start to despair over what if this is just my life now? What if my brain (well, what was left of it) never comes back?
Would actually wind up on the streets if everything collapsed out from under me? No. I am well aware of this fact. If the absolute worst comes to worst I could always *shudder* live with my parents. They love me (as best they can without understanding me at all) and would probably be relieved that there was something they could do to help. I'd be miserable, but I'd be housed and fed. Although I would have to abandon my beautiful, giant, leopard-print couch because there is definitely no room in their condo for it. I'd probably have to shed just about everything except my clothes, really. Ooof, okay, best not dwell on that too much.
I need to leave the house at some point today or tomorrow (first time since November 20) to pick up my thyroid medication. Perhaps the perspective shift will rattle something loose in my brain that'll let me focus. But right now I honestly don't feel safe to drive.
My neighbor is outside, talking with with a repair person beside their truck. They're standing about four feet apart, smoking cigarettes with masks hanging off an ear. sigh
ETA: And then I get a comment on Deconstruction from someone who found the fic yesterday and read it all in one sitting. o_O Incredible.