🧡😭🧡

[clevermanka]

I've mentioned numerous times how Guardian fandom saved my life and sanity over the past two years, and friends, it continues to do so.

Not participating in the Sundial exchange was really, really hard for me. I wanted to so much (so, so much), but I knew I wasn't up for it and anything I might produce wouldn't be up to my own (self-determined, I acknowledge) standards. So it's been rough watching everyone revel in the reveals. I get a horrible stab of grief every time I see it mentioned. I'm half a step from muting/blocking the tag on Twitter (tbh the only reason I haven't is I don't know how and I refuse to look up how for this, of all things). Tag is now blocked. Yay?

It's a ridiculous emotional response, but emotions are the worst, as we all know. It's particularly awful when paired with my still-continuing inability to muster the energy/enthusiasm/brain function to create anything.

So when this showed up in my mailbox this morning, it was such a lovely gift for so many reasons.


Thank you, Guardian family, for reminding me I'm still a welcome member of this fandom even when I'm so low and stagnant. Y'all are the best.

To my mysterious benefactor, you may remain anonymous if you wish or claim your thanks and internet hugs by dropping me a note or comment.