clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2021-02-15 11:02 am
clevermanka) wrote2021-02-15 11:02 am
Monday
Last Monday during an online art class my laptop microphone stopped working. I messed around with it but couldn't see anything wrong in settings. By Friday's Guardian watchalong it hadn't resolved itself. I contacted my tech friend (the one who saved it from the blue screen) and she can take a look at it on Wednesday. This morning it wouldn't recognize there were Wi-Fi connections available until I rebooted three times. On the second reboot it didn't even acknowledge Wi-Fi was an option (all that showed was Airplane Mode). I feel like I'm on borrowed time every second I'm using it, now. I know it's not the modem because the media machine (the one I use for streaming music) is working fine. *KNOCK KNOCK* This computer is barely a year old.
It's still snowing, the state of Kansas is under a state of emergency declared by the governor because of low temperatures, and even the Lawrence Public Library is closed for the second day in a row due to inclement weather. I left my thermostat set at the evening temperature of 55F and the heater is still kicking on every twenty minutes. I just checked and it's -4F outside (feels like -16F with windchill). Ha! ha ha!
ETA: They just announced state-wide rolling blackouts. Good times, y'all!
I have no idea how unhoused people are surviving this. Probably a lot of them aren't. I'm constantly reminded of how close I am to being in that demographic. I have local friends who could (and would) put me up for a little while if/when I completely run out of money, but that's not a long-term solution. When I had to get out of McKitterick's house after learning about his ~indiscretion~ I barely made it two weeks in someone else's space before I felt like I was losing my mind.
And that's when we weren't in a pandemic and I could escape on errands and such.
Of course it doesn't help that I woke already anxious, depressed, and hopeless. I know This Too Shall Pass and all, but ugh it's such a slog getting through it right now. I couldn't drag myself out of bed until 10, which is incredibly rare for me. I'm trying desperately to avoid slipping into a Hell Spiral. I should get up and move, but that would mean taking off my lap blanket and moving away from the heating pad under my feet.
The high from getting words down on Good Intentions was so good, but yesterday I only managed about 250, and most of that was editing. My brain is all slippery, like thoughts have nothing to grab onto so they just slide right off instead of catching well enough for me to form words around them.
As I mentioned to a friend recently, if I make it out of this okay it's gonna be a hilarious story.
It's still snowing, the state of Kansas is under a state of emergency declared by the governor because of low temperatures, and even the Lawrence Public Library is closed for the second day in a row due to inclement weather. I left my thermostat set at the evening temperature of 55F and the heater is still kicking on every twenty minutes. I just checked and it's -4F outside (feels like -16F with windchill). Ha! ha ha!
ETA: They just announced state-wide rolling blackouts. Good times, y'all!
I have no idea how unhoused people are surviving this. Probably a lot of them aren't. I'm constantly reminded of how close I am to being in that demographic. I have local friends who could (and would) put me up for a little while if/when I completely run out of money, but that's not a long-term solution. When I had to get out of McKitterick's house after learning about his ~indiscretion~ I barely made it two weeks in someone else's space before I felt like I was losing my mind.
And that's when we weren't in a pandemic and I could escape on errands and such.
Of course it doesn't help that I woke already anxious, depressed, and hopeless. I know This Too Shall Pass and all, but ugh it's such a slog getting through it right now. I couldn't drag myself out of bed until 10, which is incredibly rare for me. I'm trying desperately to avoid slipping into a Hell Spiral. I should get up and move, but that would mean taking off my lap blanket and moving away from the heating pad under my feet.
The high from getting words down on Good Intentions was so good, but yesterday I only managed about 250, and most of that was editing. My brain is all slippery, like thoughts have nothing to grab onto so they just slide right off instead of catching well enough for me to form words around them.
As I mentioned to a friend recently, if I make it out of this okay it's gonna be a hilarious story.
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*yay positivity* 😬
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Stay safe and warm.
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GOOD to hilarious. Hold that thought.
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HOLDING ON HARD to the notion of hilarity. It's really all I've got at this point. 😂
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I'm finding that my ability to continue to get out of bed and go to work amidst whatever emotional crap I'm going through has helped me slog through the pandemic, even if it's not always an admirable trait because it's often going hand-in-hand with unhealthy non-confrontation.
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