clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2005-11-02 10:55 am
clevermanka) wrote2005-11-02 10:55 am
Itchy
I'm feeling antsy today. Very restless. A couple friends posted today about Big Questions in their lives. What are they doing? Why? Should they be doing something else? What? One friend is coming to a turning point in her life regarding long term plans for family, career, etc. Another friend is looking at ideas of religion and spirituality.
Now, I'm not a terribly deep person. I don't ponder the mysteries of life. I don't even think about the future much. I'm the person who, when asked "What do you want to be doing in five years" shrugs and says "I dunno...having a good time?" Someone doing a reading of my palm said it perfectly, I think: "Your sense of beauty and appreciation of the world is very physical, and tied into a mysticism so deeply felt that it's instinctive. You don't think about what you believe; you consult your mysterious inner workings, get an answer, and move forward." So yeah. Not a philosopher, me.
I know one thing for sure, though. There are things I want to do and right now I'm not doing them. That frustrates me. I need to start moving, creating, cooking, and doing again. Enough with the sloth. I don't want to hibernate this winter. The dark season is upon us. I need to start running or it will catch me and not let me go until spring. There are years when winter rest and peace are good things, but not this year, not for me.
Now, I'm not a terribly deep person. I don't ponder the mysteries of life. I don't even think about the future much. I'm the person who, when asked "What do you want to be doing in five years" shrugs and says "I dunno...having a good time?" Someone doing a reading of my palm said it perfectly, I think: "Your sense of beauty and appreciation of the world is very physical, and tied into a mysticism so deeply felt that it's instinctive. You don't think about what you believe; you consult your mysterious inner workings, get an answer, and move forward." So yeah. Not a philosopher, me.
I know one thing for sure, though. There are things I want to do and right now I'm not doing them. That frustrates me. I need to start moving, creating, cooking, and doing again. Enough with the sloth. I don't want to hibernate this winter. The dark season is upon us. I need to start running or it will catch me and not let me go until spring. There are years when winter rest and peace are good things, but not this year, not for me.
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You would not have pursued the degree you did if you did not have some sense of intellectual/emotional depth.
You are, however, like me, not someone who is prone to self-introspection as a hobby, so to speak. You are generally busy actually living life, rather than thinking about it. It's much the way I conduct my existence as well. Future plans? Fuck it. My life will evolve as it moves along (which is, of course, how I ended up doing faire for 26 years...I still dig doing faire). When the winds of my life bump me into something that trips my trigger, I immerse in that until I've had my fill. Spiritually, I figured out what worked for me long ago, and it is just a part of my world...something reflexive, in a sense, and nothing that occupies my intellectual self, as it were.
I have a sense of why this particular turn of the wheel though is hitting you in the manner in which is touching you. Your life has been burgeoning on rebirth for sometime now. Since really, the moment you started working with me at faire (with the upheaval that came right before opening more than a year ago). Your existence at that moment entered a time of great flux/change/evolution...you have been breaking free of that crysalis and slowly working out what the framework of the next phase of your existence will be.
You are now, emotionally and mentally ready for your life to take it's new path (even if that path is not wholly clear to you) with the reigns of that existence firmly in your hands. This winter will indeed be like no other for you...because, as it happens, your winter is coming to an end, right as the world around you begins to sleep.
So rise, my dear, and open your wings. Fly over the land as it sleeps and see it's beauty. Drink in life as it evolves to wake again. This is tied wholly to this moment of transition in your world.
I envy you this moment, for it is in these moments one truly lives.
D.
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Oh, that's an excellent image. And, indeed, just perfect for how I feel right now. Thank you!
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(How's that?)
:)
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Now, I'm not a terribly deep person.
Yes, you are. You don't have to be a philosopher to have depth. Indeed some philosophers are so *deep* that become *shallow*. IMHO a person's depth is plunged by their emotional maturity and openness.
Get up and do when you feel like it.
So when are we going dancing?
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Oh, yes, and much needed. But after two weeks of it, I need to get my ass in gear again.
IMHO a person's depth is plunged by their emotional maturity and openness.
That's a much better way to think, isn't it? I think I shall change my views of "depth" to more in the line with you and
Dancing = soon.
So totally the wrong verb...
Dancing = soon...SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! =)
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Something I've found useful in combatting the winter blues, and in a very practical way:
Fire.
Whether it be building a fire as soon as I get home (when I've had a fireplace), or just lighting a candle, it's represented a "I need warmth to keep moving and doing" feeling.
Your mileage may vary.
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I think you can no more fight your wry, wise nature than I can throw off my type A blanket and that OK. Some poor teenager can use your excess angst.
A victory against the sloth in the form of friendship - I am here writting you instead of curled up on my sofa.
Love - Amy
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