clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2006-07-17 01:42 pm
clevermanka) wrote2006-07-17 01:42 pm
Entry tags:
Emotional ugh
I don't know what is wrong with me, but I'm in a massively depressed state of mind right now. It sucks. Big time. The weekend was an odd mixture of accomplishment and malaise.
Friday I was feeling pretty good about the St. Louis workshop decision. I went to work on my solo in the dance studio and fell while doing the revised ending. Fell hard. My left knee is still dark and tender. It would be purple and swollen if not for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
adammaker's miraculous Green Oil. I kept it on as a poultice the entire weekend and thanks to the Green Oil it never went to a dark purple bruise. I'm hoping it will at least be yellow by this weekend. So, scratch that ending. I'm working on an alternate to my alternate now. Friday night was ...eh... I was very lonely.
Saturday I got lots of stuff done and felt really good about finishing the belt (even though it came out about an inch too big). It looks great. And with the bra? Damn. Excellent design. I was pleased. Saturday night I got one of the best nights of sleep I've had in weeks.
Sunday, though, was really awful. I had a day of lethargy planned, but it didn't turn out like I wanted. My troupe leader called and was panicked that since I'm going to the Suhaila workshop instead of dancing at the Fringe Festival she didn't have enough people--she'd barely had enough to cover *with* me doing it. Of course I didn't realize how close to the wire she was on this and it kind of pisses me off that she knew she would be running it close on dancers but chose to do it anyway. I understand she wants the exposure, but ... anyway. So I felt bad about that. Then I finished altering the costume's chiffon skirt and put the whole thing on. And I just looked (to me) gross. Horribly puffy and fat and UGH. So I made some lunch and settled down with Brad Denton's Laughin' Boy. While it's very well written, it was not what I needed to be reading at that point because it sunk me even deeper into my blah.
alt_tobia and I had a lovely conversation early in the evening, but soon after getting off the phone I was back to blue. And that continued all evening and well into the night. I was just so down. I broke down and bought myself a sweet treat, but it's true: There is no joy in eating alone. I didn't fall asleep until way late and I'm still not quite myself today.
I hope I snap out of this soon. Here's hoping yoga will help a little in pulling me out of this funk.
Friday I was feeling pretty good about the St. Louis workshop decision. I went to work on my solo in the dance studio and fell while doing the revised ending. Fell hard. My left knee is still dark and tender. It would be purple and swollen if not for
adammaker's miraculous Green Oil. I kept it on as a poultice the entire weekend and thanks to the Green Oil it never went to a dark purple bruise. I'm hoping it will at least be yellow by this weekend. So, scratch that ending. I'm working on an alternate to my alternate now. Friday night was ...eh... I was very lonely.Saturday I got lots of stuff done and felt really good about finishing the belt (even though it came out about an inch too big). It looks great. And with the bra? Damn. Excellent design. I was pleased. Saturday night I got one of the best nights of sleep I've had in weeks.
Sunday, though, was really awful. I had a day of lethargy planned, but it didn't turn out like I wanted. My troupe leader called and was panicked that since I'm going to the Suhaila workshop instead of dancing at the Fringe Festival she didn't have enough people--she'd barely had enough to cover *with* me doing it. Of course I didn't realize how close to the wire she was on this and it kind of pisses me off that she knew she would be running it close on dancers but chose to do it anyway. I understand she wants the exposure, but ... anyway. So I felt bad about that. Then I finished altering the costume's chiffon skirt and put the whole thing on. And I just looked (to me) gross. Horribly puffy and fat and UGH. So I made some lunch and settled down with Brad Denton's Laughin' Boy. While it's very well written, it was not what I needed to be reading at that point because it sunk me even deeper into my blah.
alt_tobia and I had a lovely conversation early in the evening, but soon after getting off the phone I was back to blue. And that continued all evening and well into the night. I was just so down. I broke down and bought myself a sweet treat, but it's true: There is no joy in eating alone. I didn't fall asleep until way late and I'm still not quite myself today.I hope I snap out of this soon. Here's hoping yoga will help a little in pulling me out of this funk.