Good morning, Ms. Graduate Secretary

[clevermanka]

This was the first email I read today, and unfortunately it's the kind of thing I get/have to deal with all the time:

"Our daughter is going to seek her MA and the PHD in English after completing her BA in English and Spanish with a minor in Creative Writing in 2005. Your program looks to one of the very best for her situation. She wants to specialize on creative writing and has this English Hunter Jumper horse addiction . It would entail moving a business and the family-not a bad thing. I have a couple of questions:

Are waver or refund of out of state tuition fees offered to those who would establish a permanent residence?

Which month are the successful applicants for the next year notified?

Do you have a Wal-Mart?

thank you"

There are so many things in this letter that make me want to scream, I can't even list them. Because I'll start screaming. There's a certain amount of humor involved, but the irritation factor outweights it. There's also the possibility that it's a prank. I was going to put off answering this, but I think I'll just go ahead and simply respond:

No. April. Yes.

Comments

[dixiemama.livejournal.com]

Oh, come on...she likes jumping ponies! Why after reading that do I get a visual of dad being like Eugene Levy's character Gerry Fleck in "Best In Show?"

[amithst.livejournal.com]

Oh, my. Scary. Moat.

[starstraf.livejournal.com]

I wish the answer to #1 was different since Pooch is technically out of state (Luckaly he's always been able to be a GTA/GRA but that ends this year so next fall has to pay full tuition)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's a stinker. More impetus to complete that dissertation, I suppose! BTW, how many hours of dissertation has he taken? You know after 18 hours of Diss have been completed, you only have to take one hour a semester.

Holy Moly

[stimps.livejournal.com]

"Our daughter is unable to address this letter to you herself, as we keep her locked with shackles to the foot of her bed, except on the occasions we let her out to do family-approved activities that will not embarrass us in any way. Unfortunately, this has left her unable to actually read or write."

Graaawrp. How *do* you do it! I'd go crazy! Or get really sarcastic. =)

Re: Holy Moly

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

It helps to have office mates to whom I can read these things aloud. Then we all laugh mockingly and create fake letters to send back. After about 20 minutes of that, I have it out of my system and I can compose a reasonable reply.

ha!

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

Good answers, though I think #3 should be "Unfortunately yes, though we're fighting like hell to keep a second one from infesting our town."

Best,
Chris

[normalcyispasse.livejournal.com]

Ahh, terseness. Beautiful, brief and brillig. :)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Calloo, Callay. Thanks.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

There's a remote possibility that they are hoping that the answer to the WalMart query is "no". That would redeem them a teensy bit.
BWWWhahahaha!
I like English Hunter Jumpers myself, but I prefer the Pullovers for ease in wearing, and Forest rather than Hunter Green.