Grrrrr

[clevermanka]

I haven't posted lately because I've been feeling angry and irritable about certain situations that I thought should be under my control which *apparently* are not which annoys me to no end and causes my nearest and dearest to listen to my bitching ad nauseum so I will refrain from throwing all my baggage at my online friends until I'm feeling better about this whole mess dammit.

Comments

Groaning and gnashing of teeth follows

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Well, ok, you asked for it: I think I have a thyroid problem that is going undiagnosed. I'm waiting to hear back from the endocrinologist on this last round of tests, but I'm sure he's going to say "Well you look normal to me." Sigh. There's this thing called Wilson's Syndrome (http://http://www.wilsonssyndrome.com/) and I could be the freaking poster child for it. I have 27 out of the 38 common symptoms (I'd probably have 29 if I wasn't on birth control). But of course the syndrome is newly discovered and is being pooh-poohed by the majority of the medical world.

So in the meantime, I'm doing everything I can to at least keep my weight in *check*, which I've been able to do up until about two years ago when I realized that my old method of eating to maintain a weight was causing me to gain. So I cut back a little more, little more, little more, until there was hardly anything I could eat that wouldn't make me gain weight. Then I started going to the gym, ok, holding steady mostly, maybe a pound a month gain.

Until last month when the weight really started piling on. I can't even button the "fat jeans" that I bought to wear to our Las Vegas vacation in March.

Last week, in a fit of desperation, I returned to my old routine of logging all my food into FitDay (http://www.fitday.com). I never went below 1,400 calories a day and never above 1,600 (my old calorie range for losing weight). I kept my carb grams below 100, without subtracting for fiber. I got at *least* 64 oz. of water a day. I went to the gym every single day and did cardio for 45 minutes. Weighed in on Monday and I've gained seven pounds. Seven. All that work and I *gained* a pound a day. It's unreal.

I *should* be able to control my weight. I have tons of willpower. Getting myself to eat right and go to the gym is not a problem--as long as I see positive results! But this latest fiasco has me wanting to seclude myself in the basement with reruns of Good Eats and a big bag of Dolly Madison powdered sugar gem donuts. Seriously, I'm about ready to cry out of frustration and despair.

Those new capri pants I just bought last month? Yeah, the size 14s are just obscenely tight and the 16s are wearable only with a large shirt that covers the waistband. I'm back to my overalls and one pair of 18W capris that a friend gave me.

Augh!!! Somebody call me a Wahmbulance!!!

Ok, so now that's all out in the open. Why the hell don't I feel any better?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, and I realize some of that seven pounds might be water weight, but I don't think I'm carrying around an extra *gallon* of water here.

Re: Groaning and gnashing of teeth follows

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Sigh.

On the up side, my nurse practitioner actually read the Wilson's Syndrome stuff and said it sounded feasible. There are a couple docs in state now who are on the W.S. website. I'm hoping if the local doc falls through, she can refer me to one of the guys down there. I will make the three hour drive if it means I might stop feeling like a slug.

three hour ride

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

and if it comes down to this, I will
a) gladly accompany you
b) see if we can overnight with my awesome friend Kori
c) have some fun in Wichita while we're there

R.

Re: three hour ride

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon. Fun in Wichita. Hm.

The endocrinologist called me at work--after I'd left at 4:00, like I said I would in my message and to please call me at home after 4:00. Did they? Snort.

So I get to call back this morning to set up an appointment. Yippee.