Goal

[clevermanka]

I feel like I don't have goals. Because when I want to do something, I just go do it. I don't classify it or think of it as A Goal. I just start doing whatever it is.

Learn a new art technique. Check.

Take another dance class. Check.

Grow out my hair. Check.

Are these goals? They don't feel like goals. I just decide "Hey I should do this" and then I do it. There's not much planning involved. I've always thought of goals as larger things. Write a novel. Publish a novel. Be successfully self-employed. Go to graduate school. Raise children. Be famous. None of which I have ever wanted to do, by the way. I just want to be free to be happy and content with my life. Which, left to my own devices, I'm pretty good at doing.

Is it a goal if I'm already doing it?

I feel like I don't have Life Goals. I'm usually okay with that. Except at the workshop this weekend it was a huge obstacle, and very frustrating. A major part of several journal entries was to focus on goals. And...um, Drinking More and Wearing More Jewelry didn't really fit the point of the exercises.

mckitterick tells me that I have goals, but when I look at his goals (having a positive effect on humanity, creating something that will change the way people think, saving the world, etc. etc. etc.) anything I actually feel like doing...well, it doesn't really fit under the same umbrella, you know?

I don't need to compare myself to other people to define myself, and I certainly don't set my standards or sense of self by other people's definitions, and obviously my goals are not going to be everybody else's goals, but I'm coming to the realization that I don't even understand the idea of goals. Here's what should be a really simple word/concept and I haven't the foggiest how to deal with it.

So, I guess Goal #1: Figure out what is a goal?

Comments

[tessagratton.livejournal.com]

I can't think of anything I want to plan more than a year out either, except things like "keep working at what makes me happy."

I suspect if I wanted kids/had kids a lot I'd be planning that for the next 20 years or whatever, though. In some ways, maybe we're privileged not to have to make long-term goals. Because we're happy with who we are right now, even if there are more things we want to do.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I think not having those multi-year goals is very indicative of being privileged, as you say. Immune to a particular need.

Edit: Not to imply that my baby-making friends aren't happy with who they are...

[tessagratton.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, yes. Totally. Um. *wince*

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

=D

I knew what you meant. It took me a minute to re-read even my own comment and go "oh, wait..."

[theoneinblue.livejournal.com]

;) lol. I know what you mean. I think sometimes I need to take of dose of whatever you're taking and not overreach myself too far into the future. But I am glad to be a parent.