An unusual circumstance

[clevermanka]

I'm not the type to hang onto friendships that I no longer enjoy or care to cultivate. I'm fine with the idea that people change and grow apart. Sometimes you realize that you have very little (or nothing) in common with someone anymore. It's okay and appropriate to let those people fade from your life. I'd say it's healthy.

There is one person, though, one woman with whom I had a fantastic internet friendship many years ago. She was articulate, friendly, and vivacious. We shared several interests in common, but had enough dissimilarities that the other wasn't boring. At least, for me. Who knows her feelings about the matter.

One year, our lives and plans intersected for a brief time when we both went to the Viva Las Vegas Rockabilly Weekender. We hung out a lot and I had an awesome time getting to know her and her group of friends.

Soon after that she stopped emailing me and I didn't hear much from her, apart from a few brief and polite emails she sent when I asked her specific questions about certain subjects. She was much more informed about diet and exercise than I was at the time.

Recently, I stumbled across her blog while Googling for recipes. Reading through her archives, I see we've had some similar health experiences. She is still vastly more motivated than I am when it comes to nutrition and fitness, though. But the similarities are there. As are the differences that made her so appealing to me.

I emailed her a short note to let her know I was lurking on her blog and to thank her for all the information she had on her site. She might reply--a short thank you to be polite, perhaps. She might not. It's no big deal either way. But I miss her.

And that's a really strange sensation. I miss her.

Comments

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

Interesting post, this.

I haven't much wondered if the people that I've dropped from lj friends ever think about it or not. Sometimes, I just don't find them interesting anymore, sometimes, I just don't feel enough of a connection. And yes, sometimes, they are simply annoying gits that I don't want to read anymore. If people drop me from their radar, I'm usually aware that we really don't have much of a connection and yes, life is sometimes so full that there isn't room for all of it.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with you. Which is why this "I miss her" feeling is so weird. And it's not the first time, either. I used to think about her quite frequently, even before I stumbled across her blog.

So what's the deal with that? Why is she different? I have no idea. It's odd.

Edit: Oh, and to clarify, this was waaaay before LJ. So all our interactions were personal emails back and forth. So it was somehow even more personal. Does that make sense?

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, that makes even more sense, because it was a written correspondence, and not just a blog/read/comment.

I was just thinking about how impersonal some of our interactions have become with some folks now that we just blog/read/comment. And how maybe those are the relationships that are more of mutual fandom than friendship.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Ha! Mutual fandom. Yes. Good description of many online relationships today.

[rougewench.livejournal.com]

I would suggest that the difference in this case is that she is the one who placed distance between you rather than it being your choice.

Such changes are always very different from that side of the exchange.


D.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I would suggest that the difference in this case is that she is the one who placed distance between you rather than it being your choice.

Not it. I've had many friends who've removed themselves, either socially or geographically. I don't miss them, other than sporadically, and even then certainly not enough to browse through their blog archives (even if I could be motivated to find their blog).

So no, that is not the case.

That sucks

[wyckedgood.livejournal.com]

I have a friend that I fell out with over the most trivial thing but that was his decision and there was no dissuading him. I still think of and miss him dearly. I feel you. HUGS

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Hm! I hadn't considered the falling out angle. It could very well be that upon meeting me she decided I was an asshole! Ha! =D

A very definite possibility, that.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

Grins

[wyckedgood.livejournal.com]

Well it happened to me but that isn't saying much lol.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_luaineach/]

Dude, you would TOTALLY miss me for years to come if we fell out of touch. Some people are just that awesome fabulous missable! ;)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I would miss you a lot. Yes.

[nottygypsy.livejournal.com]

I'd miss you.

Hey weren't you having lasik today?