don't be tough on yourself, it's very early days, and it's normal to grieve, even if how you do it feels unproductive.
i looked up your drug, and it looks like it is one which is for long term use. it might possibly be worth dropping in to the doc and asking for something for short term use if you really feel like you are not coping. being a one woman pharmacy, i self medicated for the short term leading up to my op with a low dose of chlopromazine, which works well for circular thinking and anxiety and works very quickly and needn't be taken for long. in fact, once i had given myself permission to take it and got rubber stamped on that by my gp, i then found myself not taking it - just knowing it was there and i could take it if i wanted to seemed to be more or less enough for the time being.
when my cats died it took several weeks for me to stop feeling dreadful every single day. i particularly remember grieving chaos. my then boyfriend bought me an expensive bottle of port and dished me out a glass every night as medicine. it seemed to help. he had a particularly nasty end and i felt terribly guilty. and i had loved him very much, often telling him that he was my 'real' boyfriend. i used to feed him yeast treats from between my teeth. you could say our relationship was a little unhealthy...
still. the point of this meandering story is that you shouldn't expect to be over your cat's death yet. not by a long shot. don't be hard on yourself. and don't expect a good cry to fix it. your little fluffy love has died. that is super sad. neither blocking your feelings nor acting out will stop the fact of the matter. probably the main thing is to try not to wreck yourself or your stuff in the process, don't make any major decisions for a few weeks, and in all other respects, just live through it.
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i looked up your drug, and it looks like it is one which is for long term use. it might possibly be worth dropping in to the doc and asking for something for short term use if you really feel like you are not coping. being a one woman pharmacy, i self medicated for the short term leading up to my op with a low dose of chlopromazine, which works well for circular thinking and anxiety and works very quickly and needn't be taken for long. in fact, once i had given myself permission to take it and got rubber stamped on that by my gp, i then found myself not taking it - just knowing it was there and i could take it if i wanted to seemed to be more or less enough for the time being.
when my cats died it took several weeks for me to stop feeling dreadful every single day. i particularly remember grieving chaos. my then boyfriend bought me an expensive bottle of port and dished me out a glass every night as medicine. it seemed to help. he had a particularly nasty end and i felt terribly guilty. and i had loved him very much, often telling him that he was my 'real' boyfriend. i used to feed him yeast treats from between my teeth. you could say our relationship was a little unhealthy...
still. the point of this meandering story is that you shouldn't expect to be over your cat's death yet. not by a long shot. don't be hard on yourself. and don't expect a good cry to fix it. your little fluffy love has died. that is super sad. neither blocking your feelings nor acting out will stop the fact of the matter. probably the main thing is to try not to wreck yourself or your stuff in the process, don't make any major decisions for a few weeks, and in all other respects, just live through it.