Mortality

[clevermanka]

I need to re-read my drug info sheets to see if leg cramps and sore joints are possible side effects for anything I'm taking right now. My legs are killing me. Especially the hip joints and calves. Ye-owch. I had some cramps in my quads this morning after walking up the hill, too. Weird. I hope it's okay to take ibuprofen while I'm on these antibiotics.

The visit to Indy was nice. Except for the part where both my parents came down with nasty head/chest colds the day after I arrived. I spent the whole time kind of leaning away from them and drinking most of their Emergen-C supply. Between them and mckitterick, it's going to be a miracle if I don't come down with something this month.

Nana's doing great. She isn't allowed to use her cane anymore, though. She has to use one of those wheeled walker things now. I'm not sure she'll be able to drive again. But she's able to put weight on the left leg already, and can navigate a kitchen well enough to cook something. For her food prep/kitchen agility demonstration for the physical therapists, Nana made kale chips. I thought that was pretty super. Yay, kale chips!

Mommy's looking at retiring next year, and I think Daddy's freaking out about money a little bit. He's not pulling in the salary at his church that he did with his lecturing biz (duh). Mommy doesn't make a lot working at the library, but it pads the household budget enough that everyone is fairly comfortable. If she does retire next year, I wonder how (or if) they're going to afford to go to Paris.

My family is getting old. It's weird and uncomfortable-making. Also weird and uncomfortable-making was when Daddy mentioned to me what song he wants me to sing at his funeral. Awkward. What do I say to that? I don't sing anymore, period. My voice is just...gone. It's like asking someone to do a tap dance routine after a debilitating knee injury and twenty-some years of non-practice. Not to mention being under incredible emotional stress. I'm not sure how to navigate that one when the time comes. Bleh.

This is my week of decaf tea in the morning. Next week I go to all-herbal all-the-time. The transition isn't so bad. Yesterday I had a headache, but I've had a headache pretty much since I got on Thursday's plane. Too many air pressure changes.

Comments

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

I think I know what you mean, with the awkwarness of realizing one's parents are aging. I've known for decades how my parents want their funeral services to go, but noticing how my mother's world is shrinking and how my father just doesn't seem so invincible anymore is very odd.

Also, my eldest is reaching an age when I really remember having some [small] awareness of my mother's life...so odd to be on the other side of that equation now.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Mine was mostly just the awkwardness of him wanting me to sing a very religious song I used to sing in church. Bleh.

I do not understand why anyone would care what happens at their funeral. I mean, you're not there, dude. What does it matter?

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

I do not want an open casket funeral. My sister and I have an agreement that if one of us is given an open casket funeral the surviving sibling will stab the person responsible with a fork.

I've been to some lovely funerals. I want one of those because I want my friends and loved ones to have a pleasant experience.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I understand wanting it to be a pleasant experience. I don't understand asking for certain things to be done/sung when you're not going to be around to see/hear them. Especially when you have no idea if the person of whom you're making the request will be physically capable of performing said task.

I like elaine4queen's solution: Just say I can't. It's not even a lie!

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

I agree, it is unfair and inappropriate. I third(?) the "I can't" approach.

singing

[e4q.livejournal.com]

simply lie to him.

that's my policy. he'll be dead and will never know. my dad makes completely unreasonable requests regarding his after life requirements and i find he is placated by my smiling and nodding routine.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I did the slight-smile-and-nod thing, yeah. Now here's hoping my mother either doesn't know, forgets about it, or dies before he does.

[e4q.livejournal.com]

she won't mind, anyway. you can tell her you can't sing at the time, if that's how it happens.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

That'll probably be the truth, too. I doubt I'd be capable of singing, even if I hadn't let my voice go to hell.

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

Or you tap one of your friends who sings and say "Stand for me and sing this for my father."

Most of us would be honored to do that.

True facts.

Mom has asked me to sing at her funeral. I've said I'd try. We've agreed it will be the one sad song, and that everything else will be happy and upbeat, because that's what she wants.

Of course, she wants me to actually line bottles of liquor up on her casket and tell everyone to have a drink on her, too. She's an odd duck. I come by it naturally.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Or you tap one of your friends who sings and say "Stand for me and sing this for my father."

It's one of those awful Contemporary Christian Songs that were so popular in the late 80s. *shudder*

she wants me to actually line bottles of liquor up on her casket and tell everyone to have a drink on her

That's awesome.

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

As someone who has sung "Awesome God" more than once in front of a congregation, not to mention an embarassing number of Carmen and Point of Grace songs, I completely get this.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha ha! *fistbump*

[e4q.livejournal.com]

well, exactly.

silly man. play a nice tune instead. something he would have liked. or have somebody else's little girl sing - one whose voice is still girlish like he thinks yours is.

[nottygypsy.livejournal.com]

My sister and I sang at my Dad's funeral, she has a good voice, I acted it well. I heard a lot of, I can't believe you could do that. I'm still disgruntled they wouldn't let me do the eulogy I wrote cause "it'd be to hard for me" I could have done it and Uncle Dave cried through all my funny stuff. :P

Yeah, I'd go with I can't, lets get someone who can to do it.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I could have done it and Uncle Dave cried through all my funny stuff

Boo for Uncle Dave and your family thinking you weren't capable of something when you said you were.