Good old days

[clevermanka]

Ever since last Friday's Replay show with DJ Ray Velasquez, I've been in a weird head-space about missing what Lawrence (and I) used to be in the 90s. It's not really nostalgia--I'm not longing to return to those times, but damn I wish some things today were more like they were then.

I miss Lawrence's old, awesome music scene. I miss house parties. I miss going out on weeknights and seeing the headlining band before midnight. I miss all the dope. I miss being slutty.

Those last two are totally in my control, of course, and it's not like I'm going to go live that life again, but I miss that life, you know?

I miss the feeling of there always being something going on. I wasn't obligated to participate, but I always knew there was something out there happening that I could do if I wanted to do it.

I know exactly when and why this changed for me, and I'm not going to go into what caused the change, but the decision to change was my choice. It happened to be a poor one, but of course I didn't realize it at the time. When I stepped away from that life I didn't appreciate or recognize what I was leaving behind. And that brings up a whole 'nother layer of--sadness? Regret? Something. *shrug*

Here, have an example of my life soundtrack from that era. I shared a house with the lead singer of this band, but I don't think it's just that connection that makes me say it's a fucking crime that they never got the support they deserved from a record label. These guys were damned good.

Watch on YouTube

My life now is great. I'm not complaining, mind you. I'm not lacking anything. I'm just...missing.

Comments

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

:curmudgeonly solidarity:

Kids today. Don't even know what they're missing.

It was like a total punk-tuation mark in that (awesome!) video that even the Stull church is gone.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

And Smirl looks like a hippie now. He even has dreads. D=

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

*gasp*

*sob*

[pamelonian.livejournal.com]

Aw! I loved Stick! I played their album "Heavy Bag" over and over!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I still do. =/

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

I've been in a weird head-space about missing what Lawrence (and I) used to be in the 90s. It's not really nostalgia--I'm not longing to return to those times, but damn I wish some things today were more like they were then.

Actually, I think that's the definition of nostalgia - at least the healthy brand of it. Everybody goes through stages of life when we look back, when we miss the things we left behind or the people with whom we've lost touch or any number of things. It's healthy, even, when you're aware and seek to understand rather than let it harm your present!

Wanna talk later?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Meh. You know me and talking about things. =/

[bestill.livejournal.com]

Meh. You know me and talking about things.

I'm not sure why, but this made me laugh.

didn't appreciate or recognize what I was leaving behind

[e4q.livejournal.com]

from your lips to god's ear.

i know that's slightly wrong, but i mean it right. i have often wondered why i seem to miss out on recognising that what i have now will pass? not that i wish it on you, but i am sort of glad i don't get any major prizes for being stoopid.

i wouldn't really go back a week, but i do slightly pine. part of it is that i'm actually not well enough to do much of anything, but then that invalidates the great things i do have. and i have to say that there is nothing wrong with doing bugger all except walk the dog, hang with the boyfriend, play at internets, and do a bit of buddhism. old me might have killed for new me's life.

Re: didn't appreciate or recognize what I was leaving behind

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

i have often wondered why i seem to miss out on recognising that what i have now will pass

I'm much more aware of it now than I used to be. And most of the time, the notion of "this, too, shall pass" is a blessing. =D

Re: this too

[e4q.livejournal.com]

true dat.

[annamatic.livejournal.com]

whoa, DJ Ray played a show? Holy nostalgia.

I miss all that stuff too, from the mid-90s. The real Lawrence, MY Lawrence. I know what changed, too, for me. And I feel the same wistful ache.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

*wistful solidarity fistbump*

[fitfool.livejournal.com]

I realized pretty early that things were impermanent. I think that's led me to savor whatever I'm currently enjoying but even with all that, I still get taken by surprise when things change.