Hello, 3:09 a.m.

[clevermanka]

Yep. Again. Still.

This is, I think...two? weeks that I haven't slept past 4:30. It's the first time I've awakened as early as 3:00 and been unable to fall back asleep, though. GOOD TIMES.

Last night was my first full-length hypnotherapy session, and...I dunno, guys. I'm trying really hard to keep an open mind because I remember how skeptical I was about the NMT stuff when I first started it and it practically cured my environmental allergies. But...eh. Right now I'm not feeling the hypnotherapy love.

So here's what happened during the session. This was for the Cellular Release Therapy we're trying. She led me through a basic relaxation progression. Nothing I haven't done for a savasana meditation. Then she asked me yes/no questions about issues/events I'd put on my List Of Difficult things. My index finger was my yes indicator and my pinky finger was my no indicator. Most of the time they were questions I could consciously answer, but after we covered each example of a Difficult Thing she would tell my subconscious to clear my body of emotional and physical responses to that Thing. Then she would ask me to indicate when I felt like things were cleared and I was like "Uh. How would I know?" She'd mentioned that some people feel the response differently (some people feel like a string is pulling up the appropriate finger, some just feel "a sensation"). I waited until I felt some sort of tingle in my index finger and then I would move it. But I don't know if it was my brain going that finger needs to move, yo, or we'll be here all night. It was awkward and I felt like I was faking it.

And then of course she encouraged me to get a good night's sleep and I only managed five hours. I'm like, I even fail at sleeping.

And also of course today is the last day the campus gym is open until Monday so if I want to get in a resistance training session I gotta do it tonight right after work because Thanksgiving Holiday starts today and the gym isn't open this morning and they close at 5pm tonight so thank god at least I get to close the office at 4pm because classes aren't in session. On five hours of sleep. After an eight-hour day in the office alone (with no lunch nap) because the other secretary has the day off and ain't no students gonna be around and probably the only faculty who're gonna be there are the annoying ones that I don't wanna see anyway.



And also also of course, we all know what happens when I have chronic insomnia. My swelling issues get worse! I'm thinking maybe the jeans I picked out to wear today (because No Classes! Casual Day!) might not have been the best idea. Too late to pick out something else, though, because fuck if I'm gonna wake mckitterick by prowling around in the closet for a different outfit. Ugh.

PITY PARTY IN AISLE L.