clevermanka | And then there's This Guy

I just had a HILARIOUS (and thankfully short-lived) interaction with This Guy.

This Guy has always rubbed me the wrong way. I've never liked him, but he always seemed very keen to help out with things even though it seems like nine times out of ten his contributions wind up requiring more work of everyone involved. But he's one of those guys that everyone else seems to think is Just Great and What A Guy so I chalked it up to my just not liking him which is...not all that rare? And fine with me.

But recently,

mckitterick related to me an incident that showed him to be a misogynist sleeper-agent for The Patriarchy and I was so not surprised that I spilled Not Surprised all over the place when I heard the story.

I passed him in the hallway about five minutes ago and he was all smiles and hellos. I gave him a tight-lipped smile.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Fine," I answered with the minimal amount of civility necessary for the workplace.

"Crazed, as usual!" he followed up, even though I never stopped walking, never turned my head, much less asked the same of him.

I DID NOT ASK HIM HOW HE WAS DOING IN RETURN and yet. And yet. And yet he either 1. Heard me ask because that is what he assumed he would hear (because he is just So Awesome and Interesting) and so that's what he heard, or 2. He didn't care that I asked or not because he thought it was important that I know how he was doing, regardless of my own interest.

What a stellar illustration of quiet, subtle, and insidious misogyny (not to mention white privilege) that I can think of. Not to mention a prime example of self-absorbed asshattery.

Man, I can't stand That Guy.

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And you know? If he was referring to you as "crazed", that makes it even worse.

"spilled Not Surprised all over the place"

That's awesome. I know exactly what you mean.

Nah, he was definitely talking about himself.

That's really sad.
He was so dying to share his clever repartee with you.
The humanity.

ok I'm done now.

definite asshat.

I work with one of those. He thinks he always has a better or more interesting story. About anything and everything. He is very obviously not listening to me, just waiting for my lips to stop moving so he can talk again.

I would strike the phrase "How are you" (or any variation) from the English language if I could. I don't like having to answer the obligatory "Fine" or whatever. Even more, I don't want to ask how the other person is doing. It is all so meaningless! If I know a person has been ill or going through a difficult time, I will ask how they are because I actually care. I can't stand the expression as a greeting among casual acquaintances.

I think some people respond as if the conversation is continuing. because they don't know how to handle someone else not responding as they "should". I rarely ever ask back, "How are you?" because I DON"T CARE. I almost never asked this when i worked retail, and I hate it when someone asks it of me.

This ties into my issue with doormats that say "Welcome". Ugh!

How embarrassing for That Guy, really. Except he probably never noticed, ugh. White dudes.

I am gratified to hear that I can get away with "Fine," and keep walking as a level of professional polite for people I cannot stand.

(I agree with the comment about striking "How are you" from the language. It is very useful, but I had three conversations in half an hour with the same person today, and all of them we had to start with, "How are you?" "Good, how are you?" "Good" before we could get to business SO FRUSTRATING)

UGH.

Yeah, at least I don't have to work with That Guy on a regular basis.

I gotta say it's getting more and more on my nerves. But so is everything these days.

I used to have one of the doormats that said GO AWAY. Maybe I'll buy another one when our current one dies.

I'm sure he didn't notice that I stopped participating in the conversation before he did.

I had three conversations in half an hour with the same person today, and all of them we had to start with, "How are you?" "Good, how are you?" "Good" before we could get to business

Oh my GOD.

That was my first thought on seeing what you wrote, but y'know? I bet he was assuming YOU were "crazed," re: past summers.

Not that that's any better.

HHAHAHAAA! Everyone would know who put that there. I'll add a second one with an alternate message ;-D

We got the "No admittance except on party business" one and I love it!

Nice!!!!

At least it was funny this time? For you, I mean. Man, I really don't like That Guy.

I'm having similar issues with my own (though not at work), and wondering if outing him on social media would be worth the shit-storm.

I say if it's not work-related, GO FOR IT. Since starting to post ALL FEMINIST RAGE ALL THE TIME on Facebook, I've been delighted to see douchebags outing themselves. No work for me, and all I've gotta do is thank them for revealing their true natures and then unfriending them. It's been lovely, quite honestly.

I have the opposite version of "That Guy" in my current landlord.

Every phone conversation, I begin with, "Hi --, How are you?"

She always replies with a list of demands. I feel like I'm working hostage negotiation for a swat team. In the back of my mind, I hear voices telling me not to negotiate with terrorists.

What do we call the evil, female opposite of "That Guy" without giving into the easiest route which is obvious misogyny? I'm always curious about these things.

Drat that guy! Drat the evil landlord!

Hmmm... maybe That Creep? All the other ones I can think of (douchebag, fucknugget, shithead) are kind of extreme. I think your landlord qualifies for extreme, though.

And then there's This Guy

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