Who ever said life is fair? Where is that written?

[clevermanka]

Day four of the SCD experiment. I introduced my first new vegetable this morning: peeled, seeded, boiled, and pureed yellow squash.



I get to eat that once a day for four days and if I notice no ill effects, yellow squash (one of my absolute least favorite vegetables) is back on the menu. Hooray? At least it's something else besides carrots?

This morning I went on walk instead of going to the gym. A walk. I went on a twenty-minute walk. And I returned home tired and sweating. The sweating was probably due to the ridiculously high humidity, but the tired was All Real Tired.



I sent a message to Andrew canceling our Sunday session. With my current energy levels I'm having difficulty climbing a flight of stairs, so forget pumping iron. Although I did have a nice little moment yesterday when, for the first time, I replaced the five-gallon jug of water for my Culligan dispenser without propping the bottle on my leg as I flipped it upside down. That was pretty great.

A few people have recently commented about how unfair it is that I work and work and work to improve my body and my body continues to, well, not thwart me, but certainly it doesn't get better. And while that doesn't please me, obviously, I don't get angry or sad about how unfair or unjust that is. I get angry and sad that it happens, but I'm not upset by the unfairness of it anymore. Similarly, I don't look for a silver lining or a higher meaning or any sort of positive spin from my experiences. I'm merely engaging in a very small but involved science experiment of N=1. And experiments never really fail. Just sometimes they don't give the results we want or expect. I'll leave you with one of my favorite TV show quotes of all time:

“I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.” --Marcus Cole (Babylon 5)

Comments

[sherwood21.livejournal.com]

I am sad for you when things you try don't have the desired effect. But I am also so impressed by you for your will to keep trying things and being so proactive about your health and wellbeing. You are awesome. *hugs*

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Being stubborn as hell does have its advantages. I also have a whole family full of examples of what happens when one isn't proactive about health, so....

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

I am going to send that quote to my mum. Maybe even post it elsewhere.

Will it really bugger up the experiment if you just skip yellow squash?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

It wouldn't screw anything up except I'd have no idea if I reacted negatively to it and honestly, it's only four days so I'd rather continue to carry out the experiment as prescribed.

Glad you like the quote! It's Just So Good.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

:) I see. I suppose it's a gentle intro to squashes, and better to stick to tried and true.

I'm such a brat when it comes to "not eating what I don't like, no matter how good it is for me", that if I had to do an elimination diet with eggplant or plain yellow squash, I'd have to pass.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Well, if you never eat it anyway, that's one thing. But even though I'm not a fan of yellow squash, I still use it occasionally when I make vegetable noodles. They work pretty well in a curry.

[kazoogrrl.livejournal.com]

Seriously, I may make my own health and lifestyle mistakes but I damn sure don't want to make the same ones as my parents and grandparents.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

Oh interesting!
So, for those of us following your progress at home, which SCD are you using.. because I've found more than one.. gah!
(good grief, as if it isn't perplexing enough!)

And in case I hadn't mentioned it.. I support your efforts, and fingers are super crossed for you. If you'd like to have a "sip and soak" sometime soon, I'm all for it.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I'm using the one from these guys (http://scdlifestyle.com/) because they seemed to have the best individualized support. So far it's been worth the $37 for the e-book, charts, and the contact info. Whenever I have a question, I just email them and I usually get a response within 24 hours.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

Wow that's great.

And cheaper than a "specialist" visit :)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yep!

Although if my fatigue issues continue past the first week, I'm going to make an appointment to run this by Dr. Khosh. I'm not 100% certain it's a great idea to sacrifice the gains I've made with my cortisol issues in order to calm my gut down. Or maybe it is? I dunno.

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

that is some serious perseverance. Go you.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Perseverance. Yes. Perseverance. Sounds so much better than "pig-headedness."

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

That's a tough call.

For me, the turning point seems to have been taking DHEA and progesterone.
As long as I stay on it, I sleep better and don't crave sweets and I've even put coffee back in my diet without feeling I have to go overboard or keep drinking it through the day.. that's a nice change from the way I used to drink it.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Awesome! I'm so glad you found something that works for you. HURRAY!

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

All I can contribute is an endless fascination with David Tennant's tongue action.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

He's really lovely, isn't he?

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

I know, THANKS, thank the baby cheeses!
Okay, so I'm still not eating the way I want to eat, but man, SLEEP IS A GOOD THING. :)
I had to boost the progesterone to twice what I was taking, and double the DHEA for two weeks, but it tipped the balance. Who knew?! So far, I'm seeing a little bit of difference in my body shape, too.. it's teeny, but I'm hopeful.

[sherwood21.livejournal.com]

This part, where he strips down to nothing but a pair of leather trousers and sashays around his lair drinking midori, is pretty much the best ever.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

What is that from? I must see.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

You're gonna have to wait for sherwood21 to answer because I have no idea. I just found the gif. Just...damn, tho', yeah?

[sherwood21.livejournal.com]

Fright Night (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1438176/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_23), which is a pretty silly movie. But, y'know, David Tennant.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Ooooh! I heard good things about that. I definitely need to check it out. Thank you!

[seascribe.livejournal.com]

What an excellent quote. I'm sorry things are still shitty though.

[pointoforigin.livejournal.com]

Um . . . can't think of anything right now except David Tennant in leather pants . . . temporary suspension of mental faculties . . . . It occurred to me earlier that you're on the Baby Food Diet. Well, it works for babies. Careful introduction of non-reactive foods. Maybe it will work for you.

I'm with you on the justice thing. I would hate to have to go through each day wondering what fate I deserved next. Too much anxiety! I'd rather just go through my life and adjust to events as best I can.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I often describe living my life as being constantly under a low-hanging cloud. There are aspects of my life that are absolutely wonderful (my relationship with mckitterick, aspects that are good (my friends), and aspects that are okay (my employment). But I seem to have things just constantly go wrong for me. All sorts of things, not just the physical stuff. Friends who've known me for years agree that I'm one of those "that would only happen to you" people. At least I'm blessed with the psychological setting that most of the time I can laugh about it.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

go through my life and adjust to events as best I can

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

Marcus Cole was a wise man - I love(d) that character so much. <3

So yeah, it isn't fair that it doesn't always get the results that you want, but I'm glad that you keep on trying to improve your body.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I'm glad, too! And it's good to be reminded that there are good days and bad days. Tuesday was just a bad day. I'm feeling a lot better about things today.

[the-lucky-nun.livejournal.com]

I appreciate your scientific mind! Also, I appreciate that end quote. Yay for entropy.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I never thought about having a scientific mind before because I'm not so great at grasping complicated theories and I'm absolute pants at math. But...I think you might be onto something, there.

WOW.

[the-lucky-nun.livejournal.com]

You are a natural born researcher. I can tell that just from the few months I've known you. You have a keen, analytical mind. Don't sell yourself short just because quadratic equations got the best of you. Plenty of geniuses are pants at something.