Mother pusbucket

[clevermanka]

I've been cramping since Tuesday, but my period decided this morning to show up just in time for the weekend.



Over the past year I've been doing my best to remove gendered insults from my vocabulary. Bitch was the first to go. Then cunt, cock-sucker (which really, is more of a compliment in my world), and all variants of dick (dickhead, dickwad, dickstick, etc). I still slip up and use dick once in a while because (and I'm serious here, although the entendre is delightful) the word just feels really good coming out of my mouth. The last one to go is (heh) the hardest and possibly the most offensive--motherfucker.

Eliminating words from one's vocabulary is a tough thing. Especially words that are normally uttered in times of stress. Maybe now that I've made progress ridding myself of some of those words, it's time to start ridding myself of some of that stress.

Remember that homemade beach-hair spray I posted about a while ago? Well, I couldn't easily find the recipe again after I (finally) bought a spray bottle, so I guesstimated the amounts and made my own. I put in maybe a teaspoon of sea salt, ten drops of my perfume oil, and a dab (maybe two teaspoons?) of my curl lotion in the bottle (which is maybe ten or twelve ounces) and filled the rest with filtered water.

This is my first full week of using it every day instead of wetting my hair down completely in the shower and oh my god people you should see my hair. So fantastic. Well. Considering my hair goal was something that looked like Tilda Swinton's hair in Only Lovers Left Alive it's fantastic. Mine's a lot curlier and not quite as full on top, but it's also all my own hair and not from a yak (which, seriously, they used in the wigs for that movie). I am going to have to wash it more often because the spray leaves a residue that does collect dirt, but I'm okay with going back to weekly washings because by Thursday my hair is starting to look pretty great and by Friday it's ready to have its own party for the weekend.

And so am I. Cramps be damned. COME ON FIVE O'CLOCK.

Feel free to fill the comments with your favorite non-gendered expletives.

Comments

[poincaraux.livejournal.com]

This map will now be less useful to you, though not totally useless.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/patricksmith/heres-a-map-of-all-the-rude-place-names-in-the-uk

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

So the question is, how difficult would it be to find a printed map of that area that I can frame and hang in my house?

[poincaraux.livejournal.com]

http://www.stghq.com/shop/

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE THE BEST

[poincaraux.livejournal.com]

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

I really wish I could swear with more beauty than I do but I came to it late. My newfie roots say I should be able to but my grandparents were strong non-swearers and the only word I heard them use was "sugar" and my parents' strongest word was "shit". I get in trouble if I swear around any of my relatives as if a swear word is worse than anything they can imagine.

My swear words are: fuck, shit, damn, fuck, god/gawd, bitch (rare and usually not a swear), and fuck… and, maybe three times in my life, "motherfucker". Which amuses me that you posted this because this is one of the few days in my life that I've used that epitaph. I love swearing but I don't like calling people names and that means I rarely use "bitch" or "motherfucker".

http://ms-danson.livejournal.com/1208185.html</>Link in this post to swearing generator ()

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

My friend tama_grey makes up FCC-clearable swears that are absolutely brilliant. She's very talented.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

FUCKTARP

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[splix.livejournal.com]

I use "douchebag" to describe a certain segment of the white male population. I tend only to use the word with my sister, because I do think it's potentially problematic. But it's very satisfying.

Otherwise, I stopped using gendered slurs a couple of years ago myself. I like "fuckwit" a lot, also "fuckstick." "Jackass" feels very comfortable to say, as does "asshole" when you draw out the first syllable.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I use "asshole" a lot. Usually prefaced by "what a fucking." I've also started saying things like "What a horrible person."

I use variants of "douche" a lot because a douche as we know it (not the actual French word) describes a thing that is, to me, useless at best, harmful at worst, and really no good to anyone at all. But I know some people have problems with it and I try not to use it when I'm interacting with them in person.

Edit: Also, I need to stop saying "a lot."

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

I know people who use "douchecanoe".

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I LOVE DOUCHECANOE

[etcet.livejournal.com]

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

I have a lot of non-gendered expletives that I love, but now I am worried that some of them are objectionable (har) for other reasons. I think I am going to have to unpack my profanity, as I think some of it might be unintentionally homophobic and/or ableist.

But, I will always have shit. Truth be told, it is my favorite. It was the Orient Express of cuss words for me back when I was eleven, because I had not yet heard of fuck. (I know, I know.) I am a big fan of harshness that can be achieved with the consonant sounds in the word shit. The ck in fuck can be harsh, but f is pretty airy unless you spit, which is undignified.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Shit is a very very good word.

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

Shit(french) = merde

[seascribe.livejournal.com]

Forever in love with your hair.

I used to use French-Canadian swear words a lot, because they are very fun to say, but I spend less time with my friend who also did that, and the habit has faded.

I need to work on using asshole and douchecanoe and fucktarp more, and phasing out bitch and cunt and I guess also dick, even though they are so fun to say.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Fucktarp seems to be quite popular. I shall consider adding it to the collection.

[ceanncait.livejournal.com]

Tabernac de calisse!! :-)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I will never remember to use a swear I had to google. =D

[seascribe.livejournal.com]

Ward's line from Bon Cop, Bad Cop "Shit de merde de shit de fuck de TABARNAC!" remains one of my favourite things to yell when stressed.

[kazoogrrl.livejournal.com]

My perpetual favorite is asshat.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Asshat is one of my go-tos for lower-level curses, but doesn't quite do it for me when I'm super pissed-off.

[kazoogrrl.livejournal.com]

Very true. I used fuckhead the other day, it was satisfying. I keep meaning to learn some Shakespearian insult so I can cuss out and confuse people.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Here ya go! (http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html)

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

butt-knuckle
asspanda

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Aw, but asspanda sounds so cute!

[write-out.livejournal.com]

I'm still working on removing 'bitch' from my vocabulary. I tend to use it mostly as a verb, but I've been known to use 'bitchbag' for horrible persons regardless of gender. Still, it's problematic and I need to get rid of it.

Nothing tops a good old fashioned FUCK or FUCKING HELL for me. I'm pretty boring with my swears.

edited to add: I forgot shithead and asshole. The latter is especially satisfying. See, I said I was boring.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Nah, bb, no negative self-talk! You just don't have a wide cussing vocabulary. And neither do I! That's why I asked my lovely readers for suggestions.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

Pissant.
Jackass. oh, wait, I guess technically it's gendered.

I don't think about it, but I've heard myself using crap more than I care to hear it coming from me.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

PISSANT. I need to incorporate pissant more often. YES.

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

My favorites are doucheweasel and assfish. They are both so evocative and completely gender neutral.

On a similar note, if you haven't seen this article, you may enjoy it. If you have, disregard. I found it interesting and was nodding along throughout it.

https://medium.com/human-parts/douchebag-the-white-racial-slur-weve-all-been-waiting-for-a2323002f85d

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Ah hahaha haahhaha ASSFISH. I love it! I have seen that article, but thank you for posting it here. Very timely!

[sherwood21.livejournal.com]

I am very fond of scrod as a swear word. It's just surprisingly satisfying to say. SCROD.

Also, Poops McGee, which I picked up in prison.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Also, Poops McGee, which I picked up in prison.

Congratulations on posting what might be one of the best sentences ever typed in a comment on my LJ.

[sherwood21.livejournal.com]

^_^

[ceanncait.livejournal.com]

Funny thing...I will freely use all kinds of swear words, but you know I'm *really* pissed when I take the lord's name in vain. If I'm riled up to the point where "Jesus Christ!" or "God Dammit" comes out of my mouth, people had best run for the hills. You can take the girl out of church...

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Interesting! "Christ Almighty" is one of my go-tos, but usually when I'm reacting in a good way. Like to a particularly devastating photo of Tom Hiddleston.

[the-lucky-nun.livejournal.com]

Take one from this list: fudge, pus, piss, puke, pit, shit, barf, stink, mucus, etc

Add one from this list: -knocker, -stain, -sicle, -nugget, -bubble, -bag, -clot, -ass, -butt, -skull, -canker, -weasel, etc

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

PERFECT!