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[clevermanka]

After reading this comment from sherwood21 about Monday night's yoga/body experience, I got a little choked up because it just makes me so happy when someone finds a good place for themselves about their body--especially in yoga, but with any physical activity, really. And then I read redheadfae's comment and I legitimately started to cry at my desk. Seriously, I am just barely holding it together here.

I love helping people discover joy and happiness in their bodies, y'all. I love it. Yesterday, mckitterick and I had a conversation about livelihoods and careers and we came to the conclusion that I prefer doing something different every day. This is...new. I'm not sure when it happened. I used to love routine and schedules and knowing exactly what I was going to be doing when. I still want reliability, but the idea of focusing on a different aspect of my job (if, say, my job was something nebulous, like "helping people discover joy and happiness in their bodies") would be ideal.

These little insights are helpful and also terrifying. Because no matter how some things shift and change in my internal landscape, I am still risk- and change-adverse.

I also had a realization about my latest stomach issues. I think it's the new supplements. We're weeding and seeding my gut flora, so it makes sense that I've got weirdness going on in there. I'm sure most people don't suffer debilitating pain, but Special Snowflake Me probably shouldn't have been taken by surprise. Of course my innards are going to hurt when they start changing. It would also explain the sweet cravings which (unfortunately) I gave into by purchasing a fresh pineapple on Tuesday. I didn't even think about the problems that might cause! As you might imagine, I've also got some considerable swelling going on.

So the pineapple's going into a pitcher for infused water and that's it. I'm cutting out all fruit (dried and fresh) for the next three days to see if that helps calm things down.

I might actually have done myself a disservice with yesterday's smoothies, but oh well, live and learn.

Comments

[write-out.livejournal.com]

All I know is that I have had about a thousand and one epiphanies regarding my body and health thanks to you. Sometimes I am a firm believer in fate and sometimes I think it's total bullshit, but I do think our paths have crossed just when they needed to (for me at least) and I am grateful. I think you would be fantastic as a coach or consultant, or something along those lines.

eta: I'm glad the source of your belly woes has been uncovered!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Really, seriously, thank you. Hurray for being happier in our bodies!

[kazoogrrl.livejournal.com]

I have a heavy bag lesson lined up with a friend Sunday morning, and I'm super excited! Your movement posts have definitely inspired me to try something I never thought about before. Will report back as soon as I can use my arms again. ;)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

That is amazing. Thank you for telling me that, and I look forward to hearing your postmortem report!

[kazoogrrl.livejournal.com]

My friend is a krav maga teacher/badass, and she's talked about how kicking ass in class helps with stress and anger. I'm not one for committing to something like that right now, but I'm hoping working with a heavy bag may help me stop wanting to annihilate the human race deal with my anger issues.

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

I think it is great that you are keying into the things that still excite you or are starting to excite you and letting go of others. Careers/jobs and our satisfaction in them change as we change. Good for you for recognizing that and changing with it, even though you are change averse.

I don't like change either, but I feel like (for me, anyway) the commitment to get through whatever change it is makes it more worthwhile. because holy shit, sometimes it hurts. hard.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Especially emotional growth. God, emotional growth usually just SUCKS.

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

It really does--it would be easier to be an emotionally stunted troll. Remind me why I don't stick with that route? Oh yeah--good people like you wouldn't be my friends!

[etcet.livejournal.com]

i did lunchtime workplace yoga today, partly due to how much good you felt the other day when you had your mirror session. you're pretty damn keen.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

Saw this:

http://colossalshop.com/products/yoga-joes

thought of you.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Those are fucking adorable. Ridiculously pricey for such a thing, but oh my god cute.

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

I never would've thought of fruit as the culprit!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

In my life, fruit/sugar is the food issue culprit 90% of the time. The rest of the time, it's probably nuts. *sigh*

[kazoogrrl.livejournal.com]

Now I have the Portlandia "Beets" episode in my head.

"It's always beets."

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

Are we still considering the fructose intolerance?
I'm still considering avoiding it myself.

I *know* you're going to find the path here real soon.
(meaning new life sort, not the fruity problematic one)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I tried a fructose malabsorption diet experiment a couple times and never saw any change in symptoms. *shrug*

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's something where you can tolerate it until a certain load point and then all hell breaks loose?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure this is the supplements.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

:(

[sherwood21.livejournal.com]

Today I held it for two breaths!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[sherwood21.livejournal.com]

<3