Clever Manka is dressed and undressed

Something I forgot to mention in my earlier posts about Con*Strict was the vid show. I la-la-la-love fanvids, and this was my first con with a vid show. It's not surprising how group watching escalated the feels--just like watching a movie or a concert with a large, receptive audience intensifies the experience.

Here's one of the vids from the Con*Strict vid show, done by one of the attending members. It was my favorite for two reasons which are not difficult to determine.



( More of my fave vids from the show )

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Yesterday I wore one of my re-fashioned outfits (a dress made from pieces of four tee shirts) with a pair of bloomers underneath (just long enough for the lace to peek out from under the dress). I felt like I was in my PJs all day. I'm looking forward to having more of those in my closet. Also looking forward to the practice (from making my own) so I can start making them to sell. I'm going to need to invest in a small mannequin for that, so if anyone local sees one for cheap, let me know. This is not as outrageous of a request as it seems--Lawrence has some unlikely thrift and dumpster finds.

Speaking of style, I avoid wearing gloves as a fashion statement because I think they're a little fussy (it's hard to actually do anything while wearing them). Fingerless gloves would solve a lot of the problem, but they've always seemed so...pretentious. These might change my mind. Fuck pretentious. Those are JEWELRY. I mean, Christ, just look at those things.



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One of the reasons I've never considered becoming a yoga instructor is that the market is so glutted here in Lawrence. A conversation with ms_danson made me wonder about the possibility of doing a yoga podcast, though. I picture a website that has a basic dictionary of poses as well as individual pages on the site. Each page would have a list of images of the particular poses for whatever the focus of that page's series, and a link to listen or download a voice narration for the series. People could request a theme, goal, or focus for a series once a month or something. Doesn't that sound great? Now there's motivation to do a teacher training course. Someday. In my copious spare time with all my excess energy.

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Energy levels are still shit, and the ridges in my fingernails are back. The index and middle fingernails have them now, too. The thumbnails look and feel like washboards. Ugh. So demoralizing. I see Dr. Jonah on Thursday and I'm going to talk about re-upping my mineral supplements that we started decreasing two months ago. I feel like earlier this summer my energy levels were better. I'm done with waking up tired. This regressing business is for the birds.

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We shopped for phones last night. It was hellish. I think I'm going to wind up with a Galaxy S6. mckitterick is price shopping because for what we want, it's cheaper to buy our own unlocked phones and get a month-to-month plan through T-Mobile (which is what some local friends did who are very happy with their service). I have to admit, these newfangled phones are awful pretty. And it will be nice to have a phone that doesn't randomly turn itself back on. Or refuse to disable the Mute function. But oh my goodness they're so difficult for me to use. Touch screens do not react well to my skin, and there's something about my electrical charge that makes things go a little nutty. When someone asks me to take a picture with their phone, it always turns off or goes to a different screen or something. Beyond that, though, there's my concern about having internet access 24/7. I'm honestly relieved that the Tumblr phone app is so bad because I see myself easily becoming That Person.

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Tomorrow I am a panelist for the Kansas Women’s Leadership Institute conference. Last year I served as a panelist on a university-wide presentation for graduate-level support staff and was in the pilot group for KU's new online catalog software (a nine-month project). I need to remember to put this shit in my end-of-year review. I don't think anyone (including myself) realizes how much I actually do around here.

Which...I guess I should do something now to prepare for tomorrow's presentation.

I've got a catch in my low back on the right side (pretty sure it's my SI joint) and it's making me buggy. Instead of my beloved progression to Hanumanasana tonight, I'm going to work on releasing my piriformis and then work on crawling. I am the worst at crawling, you guys. My mom tells me I didn't even crawl when I was a baby. But I think there's something in that movement that would help my back/hip mobility issues. So that'll be a lot of fun.

Woke up this morning super hungry--to the point where I felt a bit nauseated, shaky, and those other things that people describe when they're over-hungry. I so rarely experience this. I have an alarmingly efficient metabolism and my blood sugar is super stable. It was not how I wanted to start my day. I still feel a little wobbly, even after the banana I ate immediately after my shower and the chicken salad I just ate for breakfast. I could think of no reason I felt that way. We had an amazing (and kind of late) dinner, with protein and vegetables. OH MY BODY.

Speaking of my body (in a more positive way), I had a wonderful revelation about how to move deeper and evenly in Supta Padangusthasana B. I'm not gonna try to explain it, but it was an amazing thing to realize that I could, with just a small amount of self-analysis, figure out how to solve a body alignment issue with a few posture corrections and a different focus of energy. AMAZING. It was beautiful to have such a positive reminder of why it's called yoga practice. There's no ultimate goal to it--it will always be practice.

I finally watched The Eagle this weekend. One of the friends we saw it with pronounced it horribly boring and a terrible movie. I was plenty entertained by all the pretty (scenery, costumes, Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell), so I didn't think it was boring. If nothing else, the homo-eroticism in this thing is palpable. It was nice to see the movie for all that Marcus/Esca fic I read. Let's be honest, I'm never gonna get around to reading the books. Notably, Channing Tatum had way more chemistry with Jamie Bell than he did with Mila Kunis although perhaps not as much as he has with Jonah Hill.

In completely unrelated news (I promise): Does anyone know if there are taxidermy classes in the Lawrence/KC area? Found one! It's even accredited through the Kansas Board of Regents, good lord. I think that's a little more involved than what I'm looking for, though, which is probably a good thing. I do not need another hobby that takes up its own room.

Monday
Progression to Hanumanasana

Tuesday
SI Joint Happiness

Wednesday
Trikonasana
Utthita Parsvakonasana
Utthita Hasta Padangustasana (I do this with my foot in front, not the side)
Paschimottanasana
Marichyasana III
Paripurna Navasana (Hold for three to five breaths, return to sitting, rest a moment, and repeat at least two more times)
Upavistha Konasana
Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
Sirsasana! Whoop Whoop!
Sarvangasana
Savasana

Thursday
Walked from train station to hotel, helped con vendors unload vans. Totally counting this as movement

Friday
Dancing!

Saturday
Yoga for hangovers because yeah

I forgot to post my Intentional Movement Report last night, so I put it up this morning and backdated it to last night. If you want to check it out, it's here.

I am not a fan of pre-workout static stretching. I know I get lessened results when I do it. If I need loosening up for a particular lift, I do myofascial release. But I do think static stretching can be used effectively in mobility work. After all, certain types of yoga can be seen as static stretching. Breaking Muscle posted an article about using static stretching for lifting heavy. I think one of the most important parts is the last paragraph: Having a thorough and regular stretching routine will keep your body more injury resistant, prevent compensation patterns or overuse of a muscle from occurring, and allow you to feel stable and balanced during your lifts.

Consistency in any exercise or movement program is crucial. A few weeks (months?) ago, I decided to focus my daily intentional movement on yoga and mobility. I've seen some fantastic progress in my regular yoga practice since then. It's been so impressive that when I return from Atlanta, I'm going to incorporate a more regimented program. I'll have three specific series that I'll do once every week, preferably on regular days. One day will be SI Joint Happiness, one day will be progression to Hanumanasana, and one day will be a yet-to-be-found/created series that focuses on upper body and core strength/stabilization. I'll do at least one myofascial release session a week and at least one free-for-all yoga day a week. Any additional days (if I get in more than five days in a week) will be one of those latter two options.

Fun!

In other body news, I found the culprit for my abdominal pains. I forgot to take it yesterday morning and felt fine all day. Took it with dinner and within half an hour had slight gas/cramping discomfort that lasted until about 9am this morning. I'm decreasing the dosage to one scoop instead of two and only taking it at night for the next three days. I'm not going to bother bringing it to Atlanta at all. When I get back, I'll resume the one scoop in the evening until I feel fine with that dosage and then gradually work my way up to two scoops twice a day. One of the nice things about managing my health with supplements instead of pharmaceuticals is being able to play around with dosages so easily.

How's this Monday treating you all?

After reading this comment from sherwood21 about Monday night's yoga/body experience, I got a little choked up because it just makes me so happy when someone finds a good place for themselves about their body--especially in yoga, but with any physical activity, really. And then I read redheadfae's comment and I legitimately started to cry at my desk. Seriously, I am just barely holding it together here.

I love helping people discover joy and happiness in their bodies, y'all. I love it. Yesterday, mckitterick and I had a conversation about livelihoods and careers and we came to the conclusion that I prefer doing something different every day. This is...new. I'm not sure when it happened. I used to love routine and schedules and knowing exactly what I was going to be doing when. I still want reliability, but the idea of focusing on a different aspect of my job (if, say, my job was something nebulous, like "helping people discover joy and happiness in their bodies") would be ideal.

These little insights are helpful and also terrifying. Because no matter how some things shift and change in my internal landscape, I am still risk- and change-adverse.

I also had a realization about my latest stomach issues. I think it's the new supplements. We're weeding and seeding my gut flora, so it makes sense that I've got weirdness going on in there. I'm sure most people don't suffer debilitating pain, but Special Snowflake Me probably shouldn't have been taken by surprise. Of course my innards are going to hurt when they start changing. It would also explain the sweet cravings which (unfortunately) I gave into by purchasing a fresh pineapple on Tuesday. I didn't even think about the problems that might cause! As you might imagine, I've also got some considerable swelling going on.

So the pineapple's going into a pitcher for infused water and that's it. I'm cutting out all fruit (dried and fresh) for the next three days to see if that helps calm things down.

I might actually have done myself a disservice with yesterday's smoothies, but oh well, live and learn.

Breaking Muscle posted a wonderful article on healthy yoga practice. So much of yoga, real yoga, is the mentality, the breath, the mindfulness we bring to our practice. The importance of being comfortable in a posture is why it takes me about twice or sometimes three times as long to go through a series of poses with someone who is new to yoga. I spend a lot of time making sure they feel good and safe in each and every pose--including savasana! In my own personal practice, I know when and where I need supportive tools so if I need a block or a strap (and that varies from day to day), I know immediately to grab one and how to use it correctly. There's a lot more to yoga than stretching into poses.

Speaking of, I had a very nice yoga session last night. It'd been a week! Felt good.

What didn't feel good were the bizarre and way out of cycle uterine cramping and small spotting that hit about 7pm, followed the intense stomach pains that kept me awake from 2:00 to 4:00am. I'm still getting stomach spasms, and I'm afraid to eat anything even though I'm pretty hungry.

What the fuck, body.

Today's Tumblr is Tuesday, March 31: Birds.

Last night redheadfae took me as her guest to a yoga class at her gym. One thing I've learned about taking a yoga class--I never leave without having learned something!

Last night I learned a great flow, the details of which are a little fuzzy, but I can recreate something similar. Something like (I am going to use English instead of Sanskrit here because I am lazy at the moment) Down dog to Low Lunge to Triangle to Warrior 1 to Warrior 3 to Half-Moon. It was tough! I was sweating! I couldn't even wobble into Warrior 3. My balance was off and my glutes were just not having it after a serious roll-out session the night before. I'll definitely incorporate it into a future home session, though.

The other thing I learned is that I've been spoiled for good yoga teachers. Even at Yoga Studio of Lawrence, where I didn't like their general methods, I didn't think they were bad teachers. They just didn't teach in ways that communicated to me.

The instructor for this class was nice, friendly, and supportive, but she gave no individual instruction. I might as well have been following a yoga DVD. She didn't use any Sanskrit names for things which, okay, lots of people don't, but there are some accepted English names for things and she didn't use them, either, or used them inconsistently. The things I had particular issues with were she referred to Sun Salutation simply as "flow," which...there's a lot of flows, out there, lady, give this one its proper name and then (because we went through Sun Salutation a lot), she repeatedly had the chance to at least say the English name of Uttanasana (Standing Forward Bend), but chose instead to frequently use the term "Bottoms Up."

I'm all for having fun in yoga, and I remember dissolving into giggle fits with the other students during many of Gopi's sessions. But "bottom's up?" as anything other than (maybe) a one-off joke? Hmm. She mentioned the importance of breath at the beginning of the session, but there was no instruction on good breath practice and only once or twice did she remind people to breathe (during particularly difficult poses).

This was my first yoga class in a gym environment instead of a dedicated yoga studio, and I understand more completely now the complaints of modern American yoga practice. This wasn't yoga. This was stretching in yoga poses.



There was an Indian woman there who, when we chatted a bit after class, asked me "this was a good class, yes?" and I so much wanted to say "not really, no," but I have some diplomacy. I did my best to convey to her that she really should check out Westside Yoga studio by emphasizing that they are much more focused on the spiritual aspects of yoga and that they even host Kirtan sessions (she says she's been chanting since she was six).

redheadfae offered to host me so we can check out some of the other teachers and classes on different nights, which I'm definitely up for. If nothing else, I'm interested to see if the other teachers are similarly disengaged from personal instruction with the students and/or have no focus on teaching yoga tradition. I really hope they're not.

Disappointing/Unsurprising Moment of Today: I started my period this morning, which means for April, it should arrive just as I'm checking into the 221B Con hotel.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

I've reached a stage in my life where I need to not just deal with fear, but embrace it (within reason). If I want positive change in my life, I need to change things. I'm the one who needs to change. And change is scary, always scary (for me), but it's not always bad.

mckitterick woke up early this morning and crawled into bed with me. Neither of us could get back to sleep, so we chatted and snuggled for a bit, but when the topic of a potential Big Change came up, I was all "Ahhhh can we not talk about this it's stressing me out and I'm not even out of bed yet. Stress does not belong in my bed!" And it's true, I don't allow stressful talk in bed, but I need to get past the levels of stress this particular topic evokes in me.

To do that, I'm starting to engage my smaller fears. Anything gets easier with practice, right? So if I regularly expose myself to change and new experiences, the Big Deals will be less stressful.

So for my first trick, tonight I'm gonna do my best to get into a headstand (Sirsasana) (with mckitterick spotting me). I can do a teddy-bear headstand with no support, but tonight Imma try to get my legs up. I'm a long way from being able to do a handstand (my shoulders are more flexible than they are strong and they tend to pop out of joint in a handstand), but I'm strong enough to do a headstand. It's just the getting there.

Anyone else feel like trying something new and frexiting with me this week?

I'm going to start detailing the yoga sequences I do in my home practice sessions and posting them on Sunday nights for my Intentional Movement reports. In case you're interested in following along at home, but don't have a solid background in yoga, please check out this How to Avoid Injury in Yoga article. I've practiced yoga for about fifteen years, and didn't feel comfortable practicing on my own without instruction until maybe five years ago. If you're new to yoga and you can attend a class, please do. I recommend Iyengar yoga above all other styles, mostly because it takes into account different body shapes and abilities. Even the most fit-looking person can have structural differences that doesn't allow them to move into poses as they're pictured. Iyengar uses props--blankets, blocks, straps, bolsters--to help support the body in a pose if needed. Heck, after fifteen years, I still sometimes use props in the most basic poses, like a block in Trikonasana or a strap in Paschimottanasana. I also like Iyengar because it emphasizes alignment and form. Psychologically and logically, that makes sense to me. Perform the pose in a manner that best works with your own particular abilities, structure, and body mechanics, instead of pushing your body into an idealized position. I am adamantly opposed to Bikram yoga for a variety of reasons. If you love it, great, but I'll never recommend it to anyone.

Does anybody want a charming Hello Kitty teapot, in the shape of Kitty holding a watering can? It's cute, but not terribly functional. It was a gift from someone a long time ago and I want it to go to a good home.

I'm trying to get a custom temporary tattoo made for my Moran cosplay and I've been going back and forth with this Etsy seller for (I am not shitting you) nearly a week to figure out the specifications she needs for the image. Finally, I sent her this yesterday:

Can you tell me the dpi, size, and image format you need to print the image as a 5" temp tattoo? So, like, 300dpi, 5" at widest point, in JPG? I think the best thing would be for you to give me specific numbers.

and she responded:

I'm not sure about what to say when it comes to dpi.That is dot per inch, and I haven't had to reference that. The things that work are usually .jpg or .png. The dimensions (px) (width & height) of the image in size 1000 x 1000 or more should be fine.

I...don't even know how to respond that that? Except maybe try to find a different seller who can do that size of tattoo. All the other people I found on my first search who do custom temp tattoos don't do them larger than 2"x2" and some don't even do color. UGH.

Today's Tumblr collection is Tuesday, February 24: Wonder Woman.