Clever Manka is dressed and undressed

My I'll Go With You buttons arrived, so the locals who said you wanted one? Comment below or email me to schedule a time to pick 'em up.

For those who asked, a quick walk down memory lane of me in my various KCRF dance costumes. If anyone's interested in seeing my whore street character costumes, let me know. I'll put those in a different post because this is quite enough pics for one post, and I don't have as many of those, so I'll have to go digging in other people's photo sites for them. ( Click for photos )

This is me, enjoying my second year of not gearing up for KCRF. Feels good, y'all.

What doesn't feel all that great is the sneaking suspicion that my ongoing headache might be caused by that tooth that needs fixing. Even though the tooth doesn't feel sore at all, the pressure/pain is definitely on that side of my face and most of what I thought was sinus pressure is located right around that area. Soooooo I decided not to wait for a combo filling/impression for bite guard appointment (I have to wait a month for insurance to come through on the bite guard business) and made an appointment to fix the tooth on Thursday of next week. Yay. That's henna day, too, so my henna partners will have a lovely time avoiding my drool and the random henna spill.

I am thinking really hard about taking a vacation day tomorrow for a four-day weekend. My reasons for not just going ahead and doing it are weird and complicated and I'm honestly not sure I understand what's going on in my head, so if someone wants to chime in with thoughts, they're welcome. Basically, I feel like I'll be seen as slacking because I already took off so much time in July. This happened before, where I took off a lot of time in single-day increments and was reprimanded for it and it was complete BS (I mean, it's my vacation time to use as I see fit, right?) but it still bothers me. The other reason is utterly ridiculous. Basically I'm below 175 hours of vacation (172 to be exact) and for some reason that makes me...miserly of my vacation time. One hundred and seventy two hours, though. Come on, Manka. Jesus.

I would like to get some sewing done this weekend, but my dance card for the weekend is filling up in unexpected ways. Not all bad, just unexpected.

I dunno. I dunno. Blah. But at least I'm not sewing last-minute costume stuff for Renaissance Festival. That is a good thing.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha WELL the grad director just stopped in my office on her way out the door and there's something we need to work on together and since she can't stay to do it today she wants to do it tomorrow so I guess that's that decided.

It's a free country and all, but if you looked at, linked to, or posted the leaked photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other women, I am judging you, hard, and am really close to removing you from consideration for future interactions. I don't feel I need to explain why, but this article does a nice job. And this this Tumblr post sums it up even more succinctly:

If you say
"Don’t take a nude pic if you’re a famous woman and don’t want it leaked."

You're also saying
"Don’t wear a hoodie if you don’t want to be mistaken for a criminal and shot."
"Don’t get drunk at a party if you don’t want to be sexually assaulted."
"Don’t argue with a cop if you don’t want to get killed."
"Don’t walk home by yourself if you don’t want to get raped."

Victim blaming 101: Everyone should live in fear from ever doing anything.

To which I say


Today's Tumblr is Tuesday, September 2: Wings.

This was my first Labor Day Weekend spent at home in ten years. It was amazing and relaxing and wow do I not miss KCRF even one teensy little bit. I thought about writing up a post about it yesterday but then realized Oh fuck a bunch of that. I'm not out there? I'm not even gonna think about it! and it was wonderful.

I just got home from my last performance at KCRF as a regular dancer at the Smoker. Thank you to all the performers and patrons who made this a wonderful experience.

OH MY GOD THIS SONG.



I changed the locks
But your key, your key's still working
You can't train a moth, I guess
Uh, each beast gets her burden
So we circle this old flame
Too much at stake but too late to change
My nerves are shot, my reserves exhausted
It's a tired plot but we bought it
Now we're lost
Between love and cholera
Saccharine read, such a sentimental novel
Give you cavities if it doesn't drive you to the bottle
As for me, I'll take another kerosene if you got it
Something harder, look, like a moth you see
And I still get chills when you talk to me
But the years pass by now in twos and threes
These thrills ain't as cheap as they used to be

If you're asking
I can't say no
Just one more chapter
Our book won't close
And I know it's madness
To play these odds
It's like giving matches
To paper, to paper dolls

(I know it's madness, I know
I know it's madness, I know
I know it's mad)

Uh, tried sweet talk, tried dynamite
But I sleepwalk back to the battle site
Fight fire with fire but the fire won't fight
We just fly these circles like tired kites
And you flash some fang
And I bat my lashes
And we're back again
No end to this game with matches
We've been lovers and strangers and friends who get angry
Made mistakes and amends and brief moments of magic
We forgive and forget and give in to attraction
This whole thing depends on amnesia and magnets
And I'd be leaving for good, I'd be looking for better
But I got this broken habit I keep gluing back together
The fever, the fire, the feathers
The fever defies measure
And good sense won't venture where the moth will go

If you're asking
I can't say no
Just one more chapter
Our book won't close
And I know it's madness
To play these odds
It's like giving matches
To paper, to paper dolls

(Just like, just like...
Just like, just like...
Just like giving matches to paper dolls
Just like, just like...
Just like, just like...
Just like giving matches to paper dolls)

If you're asking
I can't say no
Just one more chapter
Our book won't close
And I know it's madness
To play these odds
It's like giving matches
To paper, to paper dolls

Rules for people 25 and older. I found that while reading an entry on this advice blog and oh my god you guiz that advice blog. SO GOOD. Like, honest and for real good good.

And in the opposite corner is this blog, with this entry as a perfect example of the awesome.

Not gonna lie, I get a teensy bit irritated that strict Whole30 eating didn't/doesn't cause miraculous physical improvement for me. I got over my obsessive/compulsive food issues. And, um. That's it. And that's huge, I realize that. But my thyroid/autoimmune issues, weight gain, fatigue problems, etc., are all just as bad or worse after two (three?) years of conscientious monitoring of my food. GRUMP. I'm also feeling a bit tetchy that, for the second year in a row, I am more bloated/swollen/thick around my middle as KCRF winds down. Despite eating less. Despite moving more (except for this week). Despite everything that happens with a normal body.



I am so relieved to have only two more weekends of KCRF. I can only imagine how awesome it's going to be next week when it's one more weekend. And then Tuesday the 15th. OH GLORIOUS DAY OF TUESDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2013 when I'm done done done with this gig forever.

Today's Tumblr collection is Tuesday, October 1: Smoking, part...four, maybe?

In other news,


This weekend was not great. I was cramping pretty bad all day Saturday. Felt better on Sunday, but started to get a headache mid-afternoon. So glad I was able to get through the show okay, although I felt like my performance was crappy.

Around 6pm the pain started to blossom into a sinus migraine and by 8pm I was down for the count. I couldn't walk straight or open my eyes all the way. I was able to fall asleep (thankfully) and woke on Monday feeling better. Once I started to move around, though, the headache started to return. I spent the rest of the day with what can only be described as a migraine hangover. Today is much better, but I am completely exhausted and I can still feel something sneaking around in the back of my head.

Not awesome.

In a comment to Thursday's post, alryssa off-handedly mentioned understanding compulsive eating when bored. Bored. Huh. Bored? Bored. And I realized...OH MY GOD I THINK I'M BORED.



Because I don't want to let myself get run into the ground, especially since KCRF has started, I've been diligent in not over-scheduling myself. And I think I might have shot myself in the foot. By not planning anything to do (other than sit on the couch and Internet), I've succeeded in making myself bored. Huh. Okay, so this is what bored feels like. Wow. Being bored really sucks, you guys.

So a million thanks to alryssa for that little lightning bolt. It won't change my method of dealing with the situation, but it sure makes me feel better (and less panicked) about the problem!

Check this out: Teens Check Out Hot Lady In Adjacent Car, Realize She Is Being Kidnapped And Save The Effing Day. Hope for humanity: marginally restored for the next half hour.

KCRF was hot this weekend. Hot hot. Fucking hot. Over a hundred degrees Fahrenheit hot (and that's without factoring the heat index). A couple people mentioned that they didn't know how I could get up and dance when it was that hot. Honestly, I don't know, either. It's just...it's gotta be done, so I do it.



Dr. Khosh wasn't thrilled with my latest thyroid numbers, and neither was I. So we ditched the sub-lingual drops (Thank God) and now I have a cream that I get to rub on my inner arms or inner thighs twice a day. Biggest bonus: I don't have to time it so I make sure to get my thyroid meds on an empty stomach. Biggest annoyance: It takes forever to rub in. A quarter teaspoon of this stuff is a lot.

His last-ditch attempt at treating the swelling as a digestive issue was a failure, too, and now he's treating me for yeast overgrowth as a last-ditch effort before he brings out the big guns ($$$ for testing, $$$ for treatment). I've never tested positive for yeast, but as we know, tests aren't always everything. It's day four of the yeast treatment and I'm definitely seeing some ... activity ... in my guts whenever I eat. No problems with the pills themselves, which I take on an empty stomach. But half an hour after I eat, I gotta run to the bathroom. I called him about that this morning and he said to spread out the dose to one pill three times a day instead of two pills twice a day. I haven't noticed any change in the swelling, but it's only day four.

Sunday's session with Andrew was ... wow. All abs and arms all the time. This was what we did:

20 sit-ups
10 tuck-ups in the rings
Three times

We played around on the rope a little bit after that. I tried and failed to wrap the rope around my leg and then pinch it with my opposite foot. But I was able to hold myself off the ground for long enough to try and fail repeatedly. Progress!

Then, arms.

Ten minutes of increasing weight doing one rep each:
Push Press
Push Jerk
Split Jerk

I went from 35# (warm-up with empty bar) to 65#. For the record, Split Jerks and I are not friendly. They make me feel unstable. No likey. Push Jerk and I get along like gangbusters.

Then we worked on Power Cleans until my shoulders died. My best one (fast, with good technique) was (I think) at 55#. I don't know how many we did. I just kept doing them and Andrew kept adding weight until I couldn't do it and then we dropped back down and did one more at the 55#.

Next, triceps! I don't know what those three movements are actually called, but let's just say I worked my triceps in a bench press position until I thought the barbell was going to fall on my face.

Last, we did overhead lat pull downs at 35#. One set of twenty with grip facing outward, one set of twenty with grip facing inward.

And then I went home to get ready for The Event Formerly Known As Smoker. And then I danced at The Event Formerly Known As Smoker. In one-hundred-degree heat. For twenty-five people.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to attempt to replicate Sunday's workout at Robinson because I found out that Faculty and Staff get to use the facilities there for free! It's $12 a year to rent a locker, but...free! Barbells! Dumbbells! Kettlebells! Non-squeaking chin-up bars! Getting up even earlier in order to walk there and showering there is a pain in the ass, but...fitness is a matter of priority. And it's only two days a week. Gonna be a test of will come winter, though. It took me about fifteen minutes to walk to Robinson (tested it for time today), and I'm gonna be carrying my work clothes when I do it for real. Come cool weather I'm going to have to invest in sweatpants or something to keep from freezing on the way there. This is one time it would be more convenient for me if I drove to work.

I leave you with this:



BLESS THE GIFMAKER WHO DID THIS

I'm going to start tracking my food intake. Again. UGH. I hate doing that so much. It might be the best way to get a handle on a few things, though.

1. After three months working with Andrew, I have not lost anything around my middle. Nothing. Not even an inch. And that's where, traditionally, I have lost (and gained) weight first. My legs and arms are getting stronger, but I'm not seeing change where I want it. This might be the way my body is changing as I age, but I want to make sure I'm not sabotaging myself by not eating enough/eating too much of something/shorting myself on macronutrients, etc.

2. My swelling issues are still unmanageable and inconsistent. They are, in fact, so unmanageable that I can't fit into the jeans I wore just last week. And I really can't blame that on period bloat four days after starting.

3. A food diary will help me manage a rotational diet. BTW, that consultant I emailed never wrote me back, not even to say "no thank you." Fuck you for nothing, asshole. RUDE. I'm going to ask Dr. Khosh this afternoon if he has literature about a rotational diet.

The state of Kansas is changing its retirement policies in 2014. Basically, we'll pay 2% more into our retirement accounts every paycheck. Which is...fine. I won't be pulling out $50 a month for a flexible spending account after December, so I won't notice. Probably. But anyway, reading through the materials made me wonder when Id be able to retire from KU with full benefits. I did the math (age + years of service = 85) and figured out that I can retire at 58 with full benefits. Fifty-eight does not seem very far away from where I'm sitting. Here's hoping KU keeps me on for another fifteen years. Hell, I've got thirteen years under my belt as of October. I'm nearly halfway there!

For the past month, I've been incorporating bellydance drill movements into my recuperation stages when I'm exercising at home. Nothing too taxing or time consuming, just layered shimmies and isolations while my pulse comes down. They look so much better than they did a while ago when I had that disastrous attempt at dance practice. This makes me feel good about scheduling my sessions with Andrew the same days I perform at KCRF. I'm going to demand a lot of my body on those Sundays, but I think it'll work a lot better than having a heavy lift on one day and then push myself at faire the very next day.

Speaking of, I'll be performing at The Event Formerly Known As Smoker every Sunday except the last weekend (have I already mentioned this?) when I'll be performing on the Monday of Columbus Day (ugh). Provided, that is, that I get an accurate contract. I'm not performing without a contract that I've agreed to and signed. And no, I haven't heard a peep from management since our last inconclusive communication on July 30.

Fellow rodent-lovers, I'll leave you with this. See subject line of entry.

OMG, you guys. Check out these amazing costumes for girls. The Thor one, especially. THOR FOR LITTLE GIRL DRESS UP.



Did you realize that people who have distinct rings of eye colors (like me) actually have A CONDITION? I did not.

I am so glad I don't have to be out at site until Smoker. Holy crap we've got an impressive thunderstorm going on here this morning. And after last night's thunderstorm that kept me up until almost 2am, I would be a soggy, unhappy dancer if I had to be out there in costume and makeup any earlier than necessary.

My abdomen is weirdly swollen this morning (of course). I might have to wear the body stocking just for decency's sake. Don't get me wrong--I'm rather fond of my lower belly puff. It looks (to me) soft and pretty and it helps show off my supersonic vibration in a way that a tight, flat stomach wouldn't. But this morning it's doing that old-man-drip-over-the-waistband thing. Not sexy. What's the deal, body?

The Late Night Callers show at Replay was great (albeit damp and chilly), but I was exhausted and had mckitterick take me home before the Bottleneck show. It seemed like the best course of action until last night's thunderstorms woke me at midnight and kept me awake for two hours. *sigh*

Have a fantastic flash mob scene. From Beirut.

Today's Tumblr collection: Tuesday, October 9, 2012 Reasons to Watch 21 Jump Street.

Go read this review of a vibrator (all text, so fairly SFW).

My weekend was packed and I ran myself a little ragged. Paying for it today. Next weekend isn't going to be any lighter, but once KCRF is over, my schedule is pretty easy for the rest of the year. Starting October 15, I'm making an effort to avoid scheduling more than one late-night activity per week.

The wedding on Sunday was lovely (read: the shortest ceremony I've ever witnessed, with super cool vows) and the reception was fantastic (open bar, a guy hand-rolling cigars, good social time). We got home a lot later than I anticipated, though (who expects to stay at a wedding reception for five-plus hours?), and Monday was COLUMBUS DAY so it was my traditional day to hang with tessagratton and nataliesee at faire. radiantmephit was able to join us again this year and we had loads of fun.

But now I am tired, my lungs hate me (holy crap I smoked a lot the past two days), and I keep getting minor nosebleeds from breathing all the dry and dusty air.