Clever Manka is dressed and undressed

This article, a woman's letter to her Republican father, is mollifying, if not heartening. I am still sick and sore from yesterday's election results, but it helped a little bit. Thank you, redheadfae, for the link.

This Tumblr post. SO MUCH THIS.

No but look at his face when he says “carry a gun”. Look at how he widens his eyes, flares his nostrils, and curls his top lip. He is angry that he’s being told “we don’t like this, stop doing it”. Not just angry but indignant.

In his world, men are allowed to treat women however they please and to scream at them in the street. He’s not saying “carry a gun” because he thinks women should literally arm themselves (okay he probably thinks more people should literally arm themselves) but what he’s really saying is “too fucking bad”.

I mentioned in a comment to yesterday's post that one of the reasons I'm having such problems dealing with the election results is I'm too baffled to be angry. I can't process it. I'm stuck in a cycle of grief and I don't yet have the emotional language to pull myself out of it. It's difficult and confusing and frightening. I don't like it.

This is not the news story I wanted to see this morning, but I saw it anyway. Good timing, though. I have to attend a Violence In The Workplace seminar this afternoon and I am so bringing this up. Here is my prepared statement/comment/question because I know I'm going to be too angry to wing it:

While it’s important to talk about how we can best stay safe in the event of a campus shooter or other highly public but realistically rare violent occurrence, how does KU intend to address the tragically common and shamefully unpublicized violence committed against rape victims on and near campus? I am referring to the story that came out in the Huffington Post this week, regarding the student who was disciplined for a rape charge by merely being put on probation, entered into counseling, banned from university housing and made to write a reflection paper. If the university refuses to call rape by its name and instead uses the term “nonconsensual sex,” and if the university considers community service “too punitive” for a physical and psychological violation of another human being, how am I supposed to feel safe on this campus?

Got to kick another ignorant asshat to the curb on FB yesterday. Yay. So far, everyone whining about how I don't give men/cops/oppressors a fair shake and listen to their side of the story have all been white men. This is my surprised face.



Here are some of my favorites of his comments:

"Is it acceptable to call out anti-white racism too? Or is it strictly anti-black racism that needs attention?"



"Perhaps I am too far removed from the norm to see that racism and misogyny are encouraged...Maybe we should aim to have everyone say 'I'm not like that' and have it be true. Because there are, in fact, people who are not like that."



"...the leap to the argument that "(The Black Man) Has no rights which the white man is bound to respect." Is, thus far unsupported."



"Based on personal observation, I see far more prejudice and discrimination directed towards whites and americans, preemptively, than I do the other way around."



After nearly three days of this bullshit (no kidding--he kept this up for three goddamned days), and after he posted a "think of the poor cops" comment, I replied:

"X, you have crossed a line. You posted a "but please think of the cops" comment RIGHT UNDER someone who had a traumatic experience with police brutality. I am all for fair conversation, but you continue to fail to acknowledge (among other things) the fact that good cops are in the EXTREME minority and they are COMPLETELY failing to condemn the behavior of their comrades. Please feel free to not comment here anymore. Also feel free to chastise me for being closed-minded or participating in censorship. But the first amendment only protects you from the government telling you that you can't say something. It doesn't protect you from my telling you that you're acting like a jerk and to stop saying hurtful things in my presence. Also feel free to think less of me for not being open-minded to other points of view. That's fine. I cannot and will not engage in a friendly manner with someone who has such a disparate view on basic human rights. Don't bother responding. Please. Don't bother."

And then his truly epic flounce:

"No bother, but you've just shown why you are unlikely to succeed in affecting any positive change. You have my sympathy."



So that's one thing FB is good for. Helps me weed out the fucking assholes. Unfortunately, it also does nasty things to my blood pressure. I've been short-tempered and nasty lately. Sorry, mckitterick. I need to incorporate ways to remain engaged in politics and social change without it taking such a toll on my mental health. I tell people that in order to care for others we must first care for ourselves. Time to apply that to my own life.

The video of this poem wasn’t recorded or posted today. It wasn’t recorded this week. This recording of Javon Johnson’s poem was published just a few days shy of a year ago.

“It’s not about whether the shooter is racist. It’s about how poor black boys are treated as problems Well before we’re treated as people.”

And we stand here and shake our heads at those people screaming and raging at hundreds of years of hate and mistreatment. We mutter about how surely Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, Eric Garner, Jordan Davis, how any and all of them surely did something to provoke the hostile response that brought about their deaths. We allow a dozen looters, a handful of people out of hundreds of protesters, to influence our sympathy toward an active outpouring of righteous anger and grief.

Shame on us. Shame on us and worse if we do not actively, loudly, and ceaselessly strive to change this hateful, evil, and racist system.

Do not say it’s not your fault. Do not say your family never owned slaves. Do not say you’re not a racist. Do not say anything that attempts to absolve you of guilt. Instead of defending yourself, defend those who are robbed of their voices and their lives. Speak up every time you hear someone—a friend, a relative, a co-worker—say something racist. Make it clear to everyone with whom you interact that you do not tolerate those comments, those jokes, those insidious remarks that marginalize and belittle people who are dying because of their skin color.

It’s trite, but true: If you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the problem. You are the problem. You. Not the poor black boys in Mr. Johnson’s poem. You.

I assume people have heard about the Ferguson, MO shooting? I'm not going to link to any articles, because so far I can't find a single one that first addresses the fact that cops shot an unarmed kid. Every single news article I can find online leads with the looting and the rioting and look at these horrible black people and oh dear injured police officers. Just fuck that. FUCK THAT. The wretched media monsters need to open the story with the fact that a young man was just robbed of his life. But no. What is most important is that businesses are being harmed and two officers have been injured.



A couple weeks ago, I dropped my plastic sippy cup at the office. Having an open container of liquid next to me at my desk is a hazard (an open container of liquid next to me at any location is a hazard), so I needed to replace it*, but I've been doing my best to avoid using plastics as food/drink storage. Even BPA-free stuff isn't really in the clear, IMO. So I plunked down the money for this little setup. What with purchasing the mason jar, lid-and-straw pack, and the pack of lids-with-rings, it came out to be about three times as expensive as a basic plastic sippy cup. Even more than the loads I dough I drop on supplements and specialty doctor visits, it's the little expenditures like this that remind me of the privilege of wealth. I'm grateful to have the resources to do what I can for my health.

Which, speaking of, I had some blood drawn this morning for a six-week-later analysis of the tweak Dr. Khosh made to my thyroid tincture and another full female hormone panel. I'm curious to see if the new testosterone supplement made enough of a difference to switch permanently because it is expensive. Hell, they're all expensive--I'm currently on supplements for regulating estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, cortisol, and my thyroid, plus the stuff I use to help me stay asleep at night--so knocking the price of one bottle down even $10/month is helpful.

* The fact that I broke my sippy cup by knocking it to the floor while it was half-full of water is sufficient information about the necessity of lidded beverage containers, I think.

Article one: Why so many kids can’t sit still in school today

Article two: Men prefer pain to being alone with their thoughts

GOSH I WONDER IF THESE THINGS MIGHT BE RELATED. I don't mean that there's a direct causation, but I do think that not letting children play alone is incredibly damaging to our species. I've brought this up before, and had a great link to an NPR story about it, but that was years ago. Basically, the study showed that children who were not given alone play time, and instead were ushered from activity to playdate, did not develop a sense of personal responsibility like children who were left to play alone or with other children under no adult supervision. And that window for learning that internalized sense of responsibility does not re-open easily, if at all. Terrifying.

Here's something a little lighter. It's Vimeo, not YouTube, so you might have to click the square to get anything to show up. How to film comedy. Not just how to film a bunch of people being funny, but how to use the medium of film to actually show comedy.

Y'all, I am so tired and my innards are all fucked up and I leave for Atlanta in twenty hours and uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.

The tiredness is due to early morning thunderstorms because otherwise I've been sleeping really well thanks to resuming the progesterone treatment. The fucked up innards are due to resuming the progesterone treatment. I'm having out-of-cycle spotting and minor menstrual cramping a week after my period ended again. Right on schedule, same as last time. So it looks like I have the choice of sleeping and spotting/cramping or exhaustion and a regular cycle.



I shipped my progesterone tincture to the hotel (along with a dozen cans of sardines and other food) but now I'm thinking I won't take it because god knows I won't be sleeping regularly at the con, anyway.

Also, this morning I clocked myself on the jaw with my umbrella handle (don't ask) and now I have a bit of a goose egg just to the left of my chin. Awesome. I can't wait for it to start to discolor. It'll be kind of cool for the bare-bones Sebastienne Moran cosplay I was convinced to pack and will be wearing on Saturday, but otherwise it's stupid and annoying.

In the OH FUCK NO column, we have this little gem that I found on Tumblr today.



From the original post: These cute metal creatures aren’t simply minimal modern sculptures. They’re an awesome series of CCTV cameras created by Italian designer Eleanor Trevisanutto to look like perching animals - squirrels, birds, lizards and insects. They were designed for Parson, an Italian company working to make electronic surveillance less obtrusive and more stylish.

My response: An Italian company working to make electronic surveillance less obtrusive and more stylish. Electronic surveillance. Less obtrusive. More stylish. DOUBLE PLUS UNGOOD, Y’ALL. Double plus fucking ungood.

ETA: Oh oh oh! I almost forgot. I got a gel/shellac manicure yesterday and while I'm happy with the color, I am not happy with the execution. The color is slightly streaky and the nail on the middle finger of my left hand is slightly cloudy and bulged due to the top coat being applied unevenly. Of course I couldn't tell this in the lighting of the salon, but once I was driving in the car it was really obvious. I turned the car around and went back, but the nail tech was already in a session with another client and couldn't fix it (I guess she was the only nail tech working? I don't know). This is the third unsatisfactory salon service in a row I've had a Beauty Brands. I shan't be going back for anything except product purchases. Very disappointing, because their employees used to be really good.

Hey, it's Friday the 13th! So here's something horrible and frightening for you.



I woke this morning with a sore throat. FANTASTIC. I hope it's just the dry air but I'll be purchasing a new neti pot this weekend. The neti pot will help with dry sinuses, too, so win/win.

My little "check-out" episodes at last week's hypnotherapy were not a one-time thing. During last night's session I checked out for what felt like a long time. Long enough that I came to consciousness while she was talking and I had no idea what she was talking about until I could put it into context with the next thing she said. I am a deep sleeper, but I have a very difficult time falling asleep with background noise (ask mckitterick or any of his friends whom I've had to aggressively shush when they hang out late at our house). Also, my body clock doesn't allow me to fall asleep between 4pm and 9pm unless I'm very ill. So the fact that my brain clicked off for I don't know how long (couldn't have been more than a few minutes) is very unusual. When the session was over, I mentioned this to Jennifer and she assured me that I never stopped responding. So either I was responding while unconscious or I blanked out in the middle of one of her sentences and regained awareness before she stopped speaking. Very interesting.

And yes, I am fully aware of the humor inherent in posting about hypnotism and Carl Sagan at the same time.

There is so much to do this weekend. I have no idea if I can fit it all in. I want to collage my 2014 planner since I didn't get a chance to do that over Thanksgiving weekend. I want to sew a party skirt for the department holiday party on Sunday since I've outgrown my other party clothes. I want to go see the new Hobbit since Martin Freeman. And of course there's all the usual weekend stuff: laundry, groceries, cooking for the week, meeting with Andrew...and then the party on Sunday evening which I really don't feel like attending but must attend because I put something in the auction to raise money for the English grad student organization and I need to be there in case people have questions about it. Le Sigh

In other news, it was crazy slick outside this morning. I had to walk in the grass all the way up to campus. And where there was no grass (crossing the street or driveways) I had to do my little old lady shuffle. It was warm enough that I wore my light coat, but the roads and sidewalks were dangerously icy. STUPID WEATHER.

I hope I don't fall on my ass trying to get to the gym tonight.

Today's Tumblr collection is Tuesday, October 1: Smoking, part...four, maybe?

In other news,


This weekend was not great. I was cramping pretty bad all day Saturday. Felt better on Sunday, but started to get a headache mid-afternoon. So glad I was able to get through the show okay, although I felt like my performance was crappy.

Around 6pm the pain started to blossom into a sinus migraine and by 8pm I was down for the count. I couldn't walk straight or open my eyes all the way. I was able to fall asleep (thankfully) and woke on Monday feeling better. Once I started to move around, though, the headache started to return. I spent the rest of the day with what can only be described as a migraine hangover. Today is much better, but I am completely exhausted and I can still feel something sneaking around in the back of my head.

Not awesome.

And then I saw this on ontd_political and my brain shut down.

Hacker Who Exposed Steubenville Rape Case Could Spend More Time Behind Bars Than The Rapists