Clever Manka is dressed and undressed

It was so cold this morning that when mckitterick gave me a ride to work (bless him), he couldn't get the car doors open, and had to crawl in through the hatchback of the Subaru (this would not have worked in the Crossfire) and then push the doors open from the inside. And then my door wouldn't shut, so I had to hold it while we drove to campus and then he had to hold it closed on the way home. Good thing he has long arms. At least the sun's out?

I'm not kidding when I say I don't remember the last time it wasn't sunny on February 2 here. I do remember the last time we didn't have snow on the ground for my birthday, though. It was in 2010, and my 40th birthday party.

Speaking of, a few people came over to help celebrate my birthday on Saturday and it was Good Times. Someone brought me Djarum Blacks which was very sweet of her, but I haven't smoked in ages but I had two of them and two days later my lungs are still hating me and I honestly didn't really enjoy them all that much. So does anyone want the rest of this pack?

My office is an annoying temperature that is too cold without my extra sweater on but too warm with it.

I ordered some nose jewelry from a seller on Etsy and she either didn't read or ignored my purchase note to please make the pin shorter than usual. Just looking at the piece in the bag I can tell it's going to hang below my nostril. It's just enormous. I wrote her, but she says on her store that she doesn't do refunds and I'm not a little upset about this. I mean, it wasn't cheap, you know? I know if she refuses, I can leave unhappy feedback, but that doesn't give me back my nearly $80 because she charged fucking ten dollars for shipping.

Day Two of this Whole30 and am feeling good. My body was ready for it. I made a whole bunch of treats for my birthday (semi-paleo things like these blondies and these brownies) and I ate, like, one of each of them because meh. I've been feeling so bloated and stiff and just generally blah lately that I'm psychologically and physiologically ready for a system clean-out. Wasn't even tempted to put coconut milk in my tea yesterday and that's huge. Coconut milk is actually fine on Whole30, but I've been using too much too often and that's a lot of calories I'm not using when I'm not lifting heavy so I decided to cut that habit, too, while I was at it.

sherwood21 sent me this article on how to sit smarter. So many people decide to transition to a standing desk without realizing or acknowledging the fact that standing for hours and hours a day is nearly as bad as sitting for that long. There's a lot of stuff I'd never thought about, like foot placement and pressure when sitting, as well as deep breathing. I'll be incorporating those things during my sit-down time at the office.

Speaking of postural stuff, I'm on day three of the four-week posture alignment program I mentioned last week. It's pretty impressive. The first exercise doesn't do much for me (I think my calves are too tight?), but the second and third ones are amazing. I was surprised and dismayed at how little my torso rotates when I keep my knees and hips stacked and upright during a prone twist. I've always thought my spine was flexible, but what with Dr. Jonah's analysis and now this, I'm learning different. When I'm in the third pose, with my legs on the chair, I feel how unevenly my sacrum rests against the floor. I'm already starting to feel a pulling on the right side, just above the butt dimple, and a slight ache on the left, which (I think) means things are moving and shifting. Hurray for immediate progress/reward!

Speaking of progress, I'm gonna see how much super-focused eating changes my measurements, especially in regards to abdominal swelling. Here are my numbers as of February's Whole30, Day One.

Weight: 169.4
Waist: 33.5"
Navel: 40.5"
Hips: 44"

I won't measure again or weigh until March 1. I know that's not technically thirty days, but I am so in love with the perfect month of this year's February.



Isn't that just so soothing to look at? I mean look at that. God damn. So nice.

I am in a good mood today, despite it being fucking cold here. I really don't know what's going on, but I'm not gonna question it. My energy levels have been good. I've been sleeping well. When I (only occasionally) wake to pee in the middle of the night, I can fall back asleep. And this morning I had the energy and motivation to do something different with my Thirty Minutes of Intentional Movement: I did a combo of yoga and calisthenics that got my heart rate up and made me feel good and exercised without feeling wobbly or overworked.

Whether it's my various supplements (good god my supplements), Dr. Jonah's treatments, my commitment to movement, my efforts to avoid constant rage, or a combination (probably a combination) I feel great. It's...kind of amazing.

This is a fascinating article on tight hamstrings. I do not have tight hamstrings, but I do have tight hip flexors and some difficulty with glutes and hamstrings firing correctly in a squat. I'm going to try that motor sequencing test and exercise this week.

Speaking of movement and general body mechanics, I discovered an interesting thing this morning. I engage my abs and glutes at my standing desk much more effectively when I let my heels rest on the downward slope of my fatigue mat. I've heard about negative rise heel position, and this sells me on it. I wouldn't want to walk around like this, but for standing, it's great. It improves my posture, and that's (not to brag) saying something.

I've been spending money indiscriminately lately. It needs to stop soon, but it's just so nice to spend a bit of money when I have it. Some of my more exciting purchases include a pair of these amazing potholders, this cardigan which I loved so much I actually bought it new on impulse at Costco last night, and a bunch of flavors from Republic of Tea that I've never seen in local stores like Coconut Cocoa and Safari Sunset. Yes, I know they have "flavorings" which can sometimes be problematic, but fuck it. I wanted some indulgence teas for this winter weather so I bought them and I shall drink them with relish and glee.

On the spending money front, does anyone local want to go in with me on ordering some Shea Butter, sustainably and responsibly sourced? It's a great price per pound, but the shipping for one container from Africa is a little steep. If two or three of us go together on it, it'll be more reasonable.

Does anyone remember there was a Brenda Starr movie? Does anyone local want to watch it with me? I think I need to see it for the costumes and subtext. I dunno if it's rentable from Liberty Hall, but apparently someone uploaded the whole thing to YouTube so if you don't mind shitty quality visuals...

I'll leave you with this amazing painting I saw on Tumblr. You guys. YOU GUYS.



I need a print of this. Where does one hang a painting of oneself, emerging naked and enraged from a well? WHO FUCKING CARES. I want it, and if I ever find it, I shall find a place for it.

BREAKING NEWS: The pathology report just came in! Diagnosis: Seborrheic keratosis, irritated and inflamed. No evidence of malignancy.



You NEED this in your life. SFW. Seriously. Watch it.



I got a bill for the cortisol test I had done at Dr. Burt's office in March. The one that I had to go in to talk to him about, and pay a co-pay, so he would sign off on it and send it to insurance. Guess what? It never went to insurance. I got a direct bill from Quest Diagnostics. FUCK YOU, FIRSTMED. I am so so so done with you fucking asshats. Calling them today, and if I have to go in for another appointment and another co-pay, I'm not sure what I'll do. What sort of recourse do I have? Other than shaking my tiny fist in anger?

The wound in my shoulder is starting to hurt more, which is annoying. I suppose it's logical. Things tend to hurt more as the skin heals. I can't bear to put a bandage on it anymore because the surrounding skin is starting to get irritated from the adhesive. I hope it doesn't dry out too much without being covered. I'm not even thinking about what I'm going to have to deal with if this is actually SOMETHING. You know? nope nope nope nope nope Don't have to worry about that anymore!

In much-better-even-good news, I did my weight-bearing/high intensity ACTIVITIES today (still trying to think of "working out" as "activity" so as to not overburden my adrenals) and I feel good. My legs are a little shaky (still!), but internally I feel pretty great. Burpees kill me, though. Man. I can't do ten in a row without getting winded and feeling wobbly. Forgot to mention, though, at Sunday's session with Andrew I did deadlift reps (five sets of seven) at 95lbs, which was my two-rep max when I first started Crossfit last year. That was encouraging!

Andrew gave me a movement to build up my lower abs so they can engage (taking over from the hip flexors and adductors) on Knee-to-Elbows. I was getting frustrated with those because I can't even get my legs to a 90-degree angle before things just stop firing. I can hang there and squeeze and flex and try my damnedest to get my knees higher, but nothing happens. I'm not exhausted, I'm not at full range of motion, I'm just stuck. It's weird. So I'm doing these crunches where I hold a dumbbell (eight or ten pounds) between my feet, lie on my back with arms overhead clutching something stable, and then do the Knees-to-Elbow movement. The trick is to keep the upper abs curled in and not let the middle back come up off the floor. Man, that is hard! I don't remember the last time my abs were sore like this. I like that feeling because it tells me something got worked for the first time in a long time.

Today's Tumblr collection is Tuesday, June 25: Things I Would Wear (given appropriate weather and finances). Alas, the Kansas climate doesn't facilitate dressing like Adam Ant Visits Thunderdome for more than two or three weeks out of the year.

Although I was an immediate convert to Puscifer's V is for Vagina:


I was not as easily swayed by Conditions of My Parole:


After a few listens, though, I've started to appreciate it. It doesn't move me like V does, but it's still very good. As I was putting it away after listening to it (again) last night, I noticed that the jumpsuit Maynard is wearing has a prisoner number ending in BR549. This cannot be coincidence. And it's pretty fantastic.

Yo, this is good information on willpower vs. habits. I recognize myself in some of these things. Not necessarily with the eating ones--I shed my poor eating habits years ago--but when it comes to movement, I'm guilty of falling into bad habits. As I read in another Breaking Muscle article, fitness is (largely) a matter of priority. If it's my priority to develop good movement habits to become fit, eventually I will get there. And yes, I did do my resistance training this morning.

So, I'm sorry, ladies, but...

tama_grey is a brave, honest soul who puts her evolving life goals on her LJ and shares how she's doing with each one. At the risk of embarrassing her to death, I gotta say that I have such respect and admiration for this woman. She has worked incredibly hard to overcome various life troubles and she never quits. She might get knocked down or experience setbacks or get depressed or feel rotten, but she never quits. Baby, you are amazing. Anyway, yesterday she put up some new goals and one of them is: ID (by my physical reaction when I think of them) top stressors in my life right now and brainstorm a few ways to reduce their impact.

I love this idea. I have stressors that I love (my gravitation to last-minute costuming schedules) and I have stressors that I hate (the shit with the summer workshop/conference stuff). The problem is, my body doesn't differentiate between my beloved and hated stressors. So I'm putting a huge burden on my system by indulging and allowing these things to consume my life. I need to find a way to minimize all stressors, so I can then pick and choose the stressors I want to retain.

Conveniently, Whole9 Life (parents of the Whole30), posted an article today about rest and recovery and how our bodies respond to different levels of stress.

Also appearing on my F-list in the last 24 hours was a post by shrijani where she mentioned eliminating (or at least reducing) one particular negative character trait not to benefit others, but because indulging that negative character trait is bad for her. More good words, in good time, from another person I respect. Because, yes, continuing to navigate and manage the CSSF summer stuff the way I've done for the past five years is beneficial to a lot of other people, but it is very, very, very bad for me. And I no longer want to do things that are bad for me.

Er. Except for smoke. *tsk*

So, now. What to do with this information. Time to ponder.

One of my grad students just showed me this. The art of Troy Gua: Le Petit Prince. Wow.

What did I do in my life to cause me to see on a G+ post that this picture reminds someone of me, and what I can I do to ensure that never changes? Because, really, if I go to my grave remembered as someone who had the potential to carry two wine bottles, an oversize bag (potentially full of more booze), and a lamp while wearing its lampshade? I obviously lived right.

After having such a decidedly negative reaction to Adele's first two singles, I'm shocked at how much I love her latest release.



I mean I really like this song.

Rumor has it that I'll get the serger back today. Only a 48 hour delay, which is not debilitating at this point. Provided I don't get arrested at Saturday's march/rally in Topeka, I can get back on track with a full day of sewing on Sunday. I'll be able to put in some good time on Thursday, too, if I skip Hippie Drum Circle.

Wednesday and Friday are Moar CrossFit. Yes, I passed my movements test, and I did my first Fran (which I guess is some sort of litmus test). This technically qualified me for "white bandana status" which means I can do WODs with the big kids in the deep end of the pool. This is the Fran WOD:


Note: I did not do it in one minute fifty three seconds. I think I did it in something over six minutes, with a ten-pound bar and two bands helping me on the pull-ups. BABY STEPS!

I’m still having issues with squats, due to some under- and over-development issues in my adductors, quads, and glutes. I’m guessing 22 years of bellydance with no cross-training is the culprit. So I’ve been advised to continue attending the elements classes and doing one-on-one “squat therapy” with the coaches until they’re no longer worried about my knees caving in (even on air squats). I’m excited that I’ll be able to do Real Squats at all, though, after two physical therapists told me I’d never be able to do them. Even if it takes me a year to get there, that’s cool. I’m not in a race or anything.

You know you've turned a corner in your approach to food when your impulse purchase at Costco is a five-dollar bag of organic baby kales.

Today I'm seriously and for real quitting smoking cigarettes until KCRF. I'm off to smoke my last one as soon as I click "post" here.

I got to bed at 10:30 last night, which means I was awake for twenty hours yesterday. You guys. It was an interesting thing to note, though, that I was feeling much better than I would have if I tried to stay up that long after having awakened at a normal time. Says a lot about one's internal biorhythms. Woke up at 5:30 this morning, but what with the time change, it was really 6:30, so according to the clock I totally slept in.

Yesterday was crazy errand running and house-tidying day. I got some major scores at the thrift store, including a gorgeous suit jacket that is going to be my Sherlock suit jacket. It's just...perfect. Pics later, when more of the costume comes together.

Bonus Jacket Story: When I bought it at the Sally, it still had the dye tag on it. Somebody had probably stolen it, then gotten flummoxed (or lazy) as to how to remove the tag, gave up, and donated it. The woman at the store didn't have any advice for me, so she sold it to me for half price and wished me luck. We had to run out to Sears anyway (we keep going out there, partially because we want to shark any more Good Deals and partly because I think we're both in denial about it Really Closing), and while we were there, I noticed that their dye tags were really similar to the one on my coat. I managed to talk a very nice salesclerk into removing it for me--seeing as how it wasn't a brand they carried and it still had the Sally tag stapled to the collar. So yay for a beautiful new suit jacket for two-and-a-half bucks!

I also found mckitterick a bunch of suit vests that fit him beautifully. Obviously some guy with a fondness for vests died or something because there were five vests, all the same size, all clumped at the end of one of the racks. The man is good for vests for a while. I think he's got nearly ten now. He wears 'em well. Oh, we also scored him a killer pseudo-military looking lightweight jacket which is a really good thing because as we were leaving the house I remarked on how awful his old jean jacket looks on him now. Just way too big. I'm gonna strip all the patches off it (some of them are pretty crooked, anyway) and transfer them over to this new jacket.

Speaking of patches and jackets, I have lost my own patch-covered garment. I'm pretty bummed about it. Some of those patches...I have no idea how to replace them. =(

A couple more errands today in KC. mckitterick very much wants to see John Carter of Mars, but I wasn't terribly enthused by the previews and what I really want is to get back home and start working on the drum case that I didn't even get started yesterday.

I am thinking that for this summer I'm going to commit to One Creative Project Every Weekend. Sometimes it'll be the same project (I imagine the Sherlock stuff will keep me busy through the end of May), but every weekend I want to spend at least four hours doing something that involves creating stuff: clothes, art, even car stuff. It just has to have two components: One, it's actively doing something, and Two, it has a tangible result. Four hours. Every weekend that I'm home.

Today's weather is a bit disappointing after yesterday's gloriousness. The poor squirrels on the back patio look pathetic. It must suck to eat your breakfast in the rain.

When I get home from work and errands tonight, Imma open a bottle of wine, put on some loud fucking music, and dance my ass off.

What. A. Day.

Tuesday's post about my work e-mail inbox? It's all made worthwhile when I get stuff like this:

"Thank you for working so hard to make sure my application is complete. Already, KU has gone above and beyond for me, and I cannot tell you how eagerly I will await a response to my application. I cannot thank you enough."

Yay!