clevermanka: default (made-up 2)
And this is why I drive all the way to fucking Kansas City, Missouri to see Tim the PT guy.

I don't like to think of my avoidance of certain things as boycotting because I don't usually encourage others to do the same. That shit is personal and nobody needs to feel bad for shopping places when that's all that's available/affordable. But I do believe my dollar is my vote and if you want to know why I don't buy from Amazon and I why request that people don't buy me things from Amazon either, here's yet another reason why. Fuck you, Amazon.

Mad Max Meta about different ways to be a mother.

Patrick Stewart, out there destroying toxic masculinity one person at a time.

Ronda Rousey, god damn. Just. God. Damn.

On the physical self-care front, there is definite movement in the positive direction. My energy levels are much better. This past week I had energy to do stuff after work three out of five days (well, I hope three out of five--I'm thinking positive because there's an event I want to attend tonight). My physical stamina is improving, too. I walked from first to fourth floor on Wednesday and wasn't wiped out at the top! I got winded going up just one flight the very next day, but these things go in cycles and an occasional victory is better than no victories at all. Pain-wise, things are definitely better. I have only small aches in my left hip instead of lightning bolts of despair (the labrum injury) and my right back twinge is lessening thanks to Tim the PT guy deciding it's definitely a nerve injury issue and starting treatment for that. He thinks it's possible that when I pulled my back on the deadlift (god that seems so long ago), my sciatic nerve and a disc got pulled slightly out of their grooves along with the soft tissue injury and while the soft tissues healed, the nerve and disc are still rubbing each other the wrong way. All the mobility work I've done on it has actually been detrimental (ugh) which explains why I've been feeling worse on days after I do yoga. So we're working on getting them to play happily with themselves and sometime soon (perhaps as soon as September) we're staring prep work for returning to lifting heavy things.

You guys I got a bit choked up and teary thinking about being behind a barbell again. Seriously, I am almost crying at my desk here.

The people at the State Fair were kind enough to refund my tickets so I'm buying tickets to see Joan Jett at the Sprint Center in December. No travel, no hotel expense, no worrying about food, and [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick can go with us. Also, she's the opening act at that show, so unless my concert buddies want to stay for The Who (unlikely), we can skedaddle out of there early. It's win all around.

I hate that even such a small thing as a day trip to a city three hours away presents such an ordeal for me. I don't know that I'll ever be able to enjoy traveling just to travel. I need to have a reason for travel beyond just sightseeing and that reason needs to be pretty damn motivating. This is a little sad-making because I believe travel is wonderful and important for self-development, but god it's just such a trial for me (for various reasons).

With my energy levels (I hope) improving, though, I look forward to doing more things close to home. Workshops, shows, even more regular hang-outs with locals.

Tonight I'm going to Dances With Hippies (provided I am not absolutely dead on my feet come quitting time). It's been ages since I went to one of these things and I'm especially excited about this one. The Sunday morning one I used to attend has shifted music focus to stuff I'm not always wild about, but from what I was told, the DJ for this event leans more toward electronica so Fuck Yeah. Also, Westside Yoga is my favorite open movement space in town, with good ventilation and a high ceiling so the patchouli funk won't be overpowering. It's where they hold the occasional kirtans I attend, too. Such a nice place.

Final good thing for today: My hair looks FANTASTIC. Perhaps alas, I don't yet know how to get a photo off my phone (or even...take a photo with my phone?) and also my hair doesn't photograph well. You'll have to take my word for it.
clevermanka: default (circus)
I woke up this morning dizzy with exhaustion. I literally swayed on my feet as I walked out of the bedroom. Returning to work for full eight-hour days this week was perhaps premature. There's a fellowship deadline tomorrow but I'm not sure if that's an internal deadline for department faculty review or if it's a college deadline for nominee submission. Once I hear from my boss about that I'll decide if I can take tomorrow off. I would've called in this morning but I thought the other secretary was out today (I was wrong, it's next week) and I have a website training session and an important meeting this afternoon.

That's all gonna go real well.

I assume everyone has seen this video of Sergei Polunin dancing to "Take Me to Church." I am, apparently, the only person on the planet who was...not all that impressed by it? His talent and ability are amazing, don't get me wrong, but I feel like the artistic interpretation is lacking/wrong/nonexistent. To my eye/mind, the mood swings of the choreography don't match the music and many of the overt emotional actions (like the head in hands motif, which is repeated a few times) seem cliched as performed. He's lovely, don't misunderstand, but...I'm not feeling the musical interpretation. Could be I just don't understand ballet, which is entirely possible. [livejournal.com profile] shanmonster, if you're reading this, I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Because of various allergies, I can't wear lipsticks, especially ones that can be chewed/licked off (for special events, I'll use the CoverGirl Outlast stuff, but only for a few hours and I have to concentrate on not licking or biting my lips). However, for my lovelies who can wear it, this stuff looks awesome. For those of you who don't/can't wear lipsticks but like/love/are obsessed by lip balms, this brand of (plain, uncolored, unflavored) balm is the shit. I found it locally at the Community Mercantile and oh my god it's amazing. AMAZING. I'm having a difficult time bringing myself to use any of my other balms (and I have a lot of them) instead of these. My favorite is the Purely Coconut which isn't listed on the Alaffia main website which makes me very nervous and I feel like maybe I should stock up now? I have a reputation for having my favorite anything (makeup, menu items, entire places of business) being discontinued.

Marvel's announcement of Civil War was the catalyst that began my disenchantment and triggered my emotional divorce from MCU. I mean, I'll still go see the movies (probably), but my psychological investment? Gone. This latest bullshit made me realize I'd done the right thing. Related to that, now that my investment in several fandoms (Marvel, Sherlock, Supernatural) has dramatically decreased in the past year, I think I'll start reading fashion blogs again. It's been a long time since I followed things like Fashion Week, or the seasonal designer shows. Just in time for New York Fashion Week!

In other news, I'm still not eating much/well. Three times this morning I've gone to my little fridge here at the office to look at my food options (zucchini spaghetti, chocolate chili, chicken soup, and squash curry) and every time my stomach rolls and cramps a bit and I just...ugh. I'm 90% sure it's psychological, but I just can't make myself eat. So much time and effort spent teaching myself not to eat when I'm not hungry, and of course this is the side effect.

FRIDAY

Jan. 23rd, 2015 10:03 am
clevermanka: default (shake shake shake)
Right before I left for work yesterday, I discovered that the spreadsheets I created for today's morning meeting hadn't saved properly. I had the raw data, but about two hours of formatting work was gone. I managed to recreate everything this morning in only ninety minutes, though. Done in plenty of time for today's 11:00 meeting.



After talking with [livejournal.com profile] msmitti about it, last night I put on some music and danced in the living room for my daily half hour of movement. It was fantastic and I'm doing that more often. The thirty minutes flew by and even though the last song to come on during the time frame was a slow, steamy one (always more tiring to dance to because low low low), it was great--like really pushing it in the home stretch. When I finished, I had sweat dripping off the end of my nose. I certainly did some work and had a lot of fun doing it. Much more fun than walking.



I'm getting excited about February's Whole30. I'm taking the extra step of not just cutting foods that have crept back into my life (too much dried fruit and nuts, flavored teas, stevia), I'm re-introducing more demanding movement for short periods of time (like last night's dancing).

Last night, I was basically doing HIIT for thirty minutes--all out for about 30 seconds of a song, then a minute or whatever to sort of just groove and get my breath back, then throwing myself back in until I started to feel it get tough, back off until I had my energy back, etc. I didn't feel any lingering fatigue last night or this morning, so I think I'm safe as long as I keep it to half an hour. I can apply this to boxing as well as calisthenics. For boxing: spar or hard bagwork for 30-60 seconds, then walk it off or practice my (pitiable) kicks until I get my wind back. For calisthenics: burpees, lunges, or airsquats for 30 seconds, then appropriate calming but active yoga poses for a minute. Down-dog is good for that, so is bridge pose and some seated twists. I'll research others so I have a rotation.

I need to buy a timer/stopwatch so I'm not constantly looking at the clock.

In other exciting news, our UPS delivery person is lying about getting signatures from packages. Over the holidays, he claimed the other secretary signed for packages when she was on vacation and yesterday he claims to have received a signature from me when I was at lunch. In the meantime, people are complaining about lost packages and calling me because UPS is telling them that I signed for them. We've filed a complaint--well, two complaints now, since we filed one on behalf of the other secretary earlier this month. What an idiot.



God, Hiddleston is so beautiful in that last gif. *sigh*
clevermanka: default (i dance now)
Oh my god, you guys, check out this amazing performance that [livejournal.com profile] shanmonster posted.

clevermanka: default (tombstone)
Last night I finally got to meet the regular teacher for my Thursday yoga class. She's very sweet, but I don't like her teaching style. She doesn't explain things in ways I understand. For example, we were standing in front of the wall, bent 90 degrees, with our hands on the wall, so we made a right angle. We were supposed to lengthen through our bodies and then dip our chests while still pulling back through our hips while pushing into the wall with our hands--thus lengthening the body. I didn't realize that we weren't supposed to let our backs arch down. Instead of saying "don't go into a cat tilt/backbend," though, she just said "keep lengthening" and then (after asking if she could touch me) pulled my hips back. I thought she meant I needed to be further away from the wall, so I started to back up with my feet. "Without moving your feet!" she said. And I was flummoxed. She wasn't giving me direction about specific anatomy or anything. Just "keep lengthening." She eventually demonstrated, but I still don't understand how what she did was any different than what I was doing originally (before I let my back arch). And then she just let us lie in silence during Savasana, instead of talking us through or occasionally reminding us to relax certain areas. *sigh* It's not that she's a bad teacher...she's just not my style of teacher. She's not Gopi. I miss you, Gopi.

I'm also less than thrilled with the West Coast Dance classes. The teacher continues to be annoying (he's yammering a little less, at least), and I don't like his teaching style, either. I don't get anything out of doing the footwork alone before leaning how to lead a move, and it seems we spend a lot of time doing that.

Basically, when it comes to learning physical things like dance and yoga, I need someone to give me specific anatomical instruction--where does the movement originate, where is the momentum. Give me technical details, please. Neither of these instructors use that in their methods, so I'm frustrated and bored because I am not learning from the class. Well, frustrated and bored in dance class, anyway. I have enough background with yoga that I can at least fake/make it through most of that class, even if I'm not feeling really into it like I used to with Gopi.

BLAH.

Complicit

Oct. 28th, 2012 10:10 am
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
Two nights in a row of not enough sleep. Not cool. Lovely times with friends, though. I'm enjoying it (and the wine) while I can.

I put this up on my Tumblr, but I'm posting it here, too:

I wish my moderate Republican friends would simply be honest.
They all say they’re voting for Romney because of his economic
policies (tenuous and ill-formed as they are), and that they
disagree with him on gay rights. Fine. Then look me in the eye,
speak with a level clear voice, and say, “My taxes and take-home
pay mean more than your fundamental civil rights, the sanctity
of your marriage, your right to visit an ailing spouse in the
hospital, your dignity as a citizen of this country, your
healthcare, your right to inherit, the mental welfare and emotional
well-being of your youth, and your very personhood.” It’s like
voting for George Wallace during the Civil Rights movements, and
apologizing for his racism. You’re still complicit. You’re still
perpetuating anti-gay legislation and cultural homophobia. You
don’t get to walk away clean, because you say you “disagree” with
your candidate on these issues.

- Doug Wright, Pulitzer and Tony Award winning playwright

Tonight is the second dance class with [livejournal.com profile] msmitti. I should probably try to get in a nap or things might go worse than last week. In fact, I think I could fall asleep right now.
clevermanka: default (i dance now)
Check out this amazing necklace.

Click the image to go to the Etsy store

[livejournal.com profile] msmitti and I went to our first West Coast Swing class last night. It was...okay.

This dance's basic footwork is more involved than anything else I've done before. I'm having a hard time not shifting into a rock step halfway through the footwork, and I have a difficult time remembering to step forward on the last count of the first triple step. Neither of these are things I do in basic swing, which I've been dancing for, um...fifteen years? Muscle memory is tough to overcome. I'm also not getting a feel for when to let go of the follow's hand. Intellectually, I know it happens on the four count, but I don't feel it, and I'm concentrating so hard on footwork I forget to let go. It'll come. I hope. It's just difficult right now.

There's also the little matter of the fact that the teacher is kind of a sexist dork. I'm fine with ballroom dance teachers referring to leads as guys and followers as girls (or ladies). When someone is trying to get across a lot of information in a short amount of time, I'm not going to get upset from being grouped with "guys" as someone who is learning to lead. I was more than a little peeved at his repeated statements that leading is tough, and he would be happy to let me take the follow position if I decided I couldn't handle learning lead. Jerk. I wanted to ask him if he ever offered that to any of the men who came for his classes, but I didn't get the opportunity. Also, he has a tendency to be chatty and I'm like YOU ARE EATING INTO MY PAID CLASS TIME ASSHOLE.

I want to find a way to incorporate occasional practices with [livejournal.com profile] msmitti outside of the class time. Scheduling, though. Tricky.

For the record, I finished everything on my to-do list for Saturday at some point this weekend, with the exception of the wardrobe switch. Because this week's temperatures. Really? Low eighties? I won't even need to pull out long socks until Thursday. Crazy. And a little annoying. I'm ready for boots-and-jackets weather.



[livejournal.com profile] ms_danson posted this song over the weekend and damn it's pretty awesome. I think this chick would make an amazing double-bill with The Late Night Callers.

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