clevermanka | Entries tagged with obsessions

I'm very used to people (almost always men) trooping through my yard with various tools and equipment since the neighborhood trunk line for AT&T fiber is right behind my house. So when two young men walked through my patio and past my front window with giant boxes of tools I didn't think much about it. Then the hammering started. I popped out to ask what was going on (since I had a phone call scheduled this morning) and apparently they're replacing the house siding. My landlady had warned me this was happening but hadn't told me what day.

The call wasn't a huge deal and wasn't a tarot reading so okay whatever. The vibrations knocked one thing off my mantle so I have to keep going over to it to push everything to the back again once in a while but it's no big deal.

One of the guys is kinda hot, and looks not unlike my facecast for the love interest of my novel. Every time he walks by the window I'm like "gosh you sure are a cutie" but it wasn't, you know, distracting or anything. Until he passed by smoking a long brown cigarette. And now I shall sit here consumed with lust for the rest of the evening (and it's not even noon).

ETA: Curly-haired smoking no-doubt fuckboy has now set up a table saw on my patio and is slicing up planks of siding. My blue collar worker kink is being unfairly and horrifically served. Help.

I usually don't post twice in a day, but wenella is concerned this video of Zhu Yilong singing and eating and being painfully awkward will get taken down so watch it while you can!

Watch on YouTube

So we've got that hair (sorry, I know some of you like it--that's fine, LIFE'S RICH TAPESTRY), the hoodie (there is no excuse), the hilariously awkward body movement while singing (undeniable) and I finally (I hate to sound Like That Person but) those table manners. That combo should be an absolute deal-breaking boner-killer but NOPE.

Still want him to fucking pound me into the floor.

Wednesday's blahs were helped considerably by the fact that when the KC dentist vet's admin called to check on Miss Thing/Miette yesterday, the phone call went like this: ( Clicky click. )

Twitter:
I cannot sufficiently articulate how absolutely unprepared I was for A-line shirt wearing long hair Bai Yu.
Toot toot!
Fanart: Pop-art style. Kisses! Chibi kisses! Caught kissing on the lawn! Shen Wei past and present.
King of the slow blink.

The art of acting like a spoiled child. (this is actually a brilliant cultural technique and short but educational)

More heartbreaking thoughts on Dr. Li Wenliang, who defied authorities to let people know about the coronavirus. People continuing to try to help their fellows makes me feel better about humanity.

According to the Guardian prologue, the planet where the story takes place is called Seastar (in the subtitles I remember, anyway), and I understood that term to be separate from Haixing which is (as I interpreted it) the word for the China-nation equivalent. Is this an accepted standard? McKitterick thought Haixing was the name of the planet which, once he said it, doesn't seem an unreasonable assumption. Where does fandom stand on this? It's kind of important for how I phrase things in Deconstruction.

Twitter:
"zhao “look at my ready body professor shen aha u so sexy im so sexy let’s get it on” yunlan"
I'm just really here for fully-clothed Shen Wei and ridden-hard-put-away-wet Zhao Yunlan, okay?
Love that I'm not the only one who re-reads my own fics after getting a comment.
Apparently the first sentence of Zhu Yilong's wax statue placard talks about his role in Guardian. Multiple women have worn bridal dresses to pose with Zhu Yilong's wax statue. RESPECT. And of course people are already making fanart (of the statue, not the wedding poses). This clip of him being adorably befuddled at its unveiling is so precious it hurts. And while we're objectifying him, have a photo of him bending over while wearing well-fitted trousers. Here's a close up if you need it.
Meanwhile, here's Bai Yu, in his first major role, getting spanked with a belt.
#NoShame #NoRegrets

Snippet from The Deconstruction of Hei Pao Shi:
When Zhao Yunlan turned, Shen Wei had the strength to meet his eyes. “How long did you have to wait for me?”

He didn’t understand why Zhao Yunlan thought the question was funny. When the laughter slid toward hysterical, he began to worry. With a cough and a groan, Zhao Yunlan collected himself before huffing out one last snort.

“I waited as long as I needed to, Shen Wei."

Twitter:
Bai Yu saying "Long-ge." A lot. Repeatedly.
Winter kisses.
Sweet christ this gif gives me major pants feels. I s2g Zhu Yilong is turning me into a Victorian.

I wanted to reblog this Tumblr post in yesterday's Untamed collection with the gif of Lan Zhan saying "too much talking" on the steps at Carp Tower. Alas, I couldn't find a gif after a few minutes of searching but if anyone has a link to send me...

Posted this as part of a comment on

sundial_exchange but wanted to share here that thanks to everyone's helpful comments yesterday about how to write for five-minute-fandoms, I am now on a roll of finding weird-ass ships that I desperately love (of course). Like Skinny Hooker and Expensive Escort (as fictional characters) meet and fall in love (obviously). <3 <3 <3

ETA: Is it cheating if I copy my requests for the exchange into my offers? Honestly, I'm willing to write or receive for, like, all of them and at least two of them I would very much like to see in actual existence...

Twitter finds:
Love Shen Wei holding a hair elastic in his teeth while styling Zhao Yunlan's Kunlun hair.

yantantether posted a distracting collection of Zhu Yilong photos and in the comments qikiqtarjuaq noted that his trousers are undone in that lying-on-his-back-in-the-water one. Harper's Bazaar China, truly Coming For My Life. I mentioned how that image has been my laptop wallpaper since that damn shoot hit the internet and it is a testament to Zhu Yilong's hideous beautiful face that I never noticed the open trousers. Now, of course, that's all I see. I want to open them more

I never understood how people wrote so many fics for a fandom. I could imagine one, maaaaaybe two possible ideas for a few of the shows I'd watched, but dozens? Hundreds? Incredible! Magical! Y'all are wizards!

Then I started writing and I now understand the danger (delight? danger? both, both is good?) of plot bunnies. Thanks to stultiloquentia, I now have a corset fic in my list of potentials. It's been a long time since I spent any time in a corset (well, technically, a bodice), but the memories are visceral, y'all. Some things don't fade. So add Corset Fic to: Canadian Shack, Lollipop prequel, Shen Wei getting fucked over his desk (fromyantantether 's porn plot bunny post), and the Garage Mechanic AU.

GOOD LORD. So y'all are still wizards for writing that much (still can't imagine hundreds--hundreds!) but now I see that magic is a curse as well as a blessing. =D

Most anything new from Ghost Story is gonna be highly spoilery at this point, but here's something from early last week. A conversation, completely unrelated to the plot, between Zhao Yunlan and Chu Shuzi--who only appears a few times in this fic, sorry, but I am highly entertained by my version of him .

“So, um, it’s none of my business, you can tell me to fuck off, but what are you two gonna do, after? After he leaves, I mean.”

He had no idea what he’d said, but the look Chu Shuzi gave him clearly indicated he’d said something idiotic.

“Sorry,” he said, holding up a hand. “None of my business.”

“I’m going to go get him.” Obviously, Chu Shuzi's tone indicated. “I’ve written his uncle about my intentions.” He looked offended that Zhao Yunlan would have thought any less of him.

Zhao Yunlan was glad to have the cover of dope smoke to explain the next several seconds he spent choking. “Uh, wow. Um. Very…traditional of you! I guess? Uh. Does he…have you…”

A flicker of emotion passed over Chu Shuzi’s face before resuming its usual implacability. Zhao Yunlan suspected it had been delight at his shock.

“Not until I hear back from his uncle.”

That made sense. Zhao Yunlan nodded. “What’ll you do if the uncle doesn’t approve?”

Chu Shuzi cocked an eyebrow. “I won’t give advance notice that I’m coming to get his nephew.”

AvenueX has General Zhu and Strategist Bai merch available now. I loved reading the story on Tumblr and am trying to decide if I need it (I know, I know, "need," but space is at a premium in my place and it's already cluttered enough around here).

Ever been inspired to write something based purely on fanart depicting something that sexy-fun-time partners said was kind of weird but you find really hot and knowing someone finds it hot enough to draw feels really fucking validating? Fairly SFW, btw--just sorta-kissing.

And now, my love letter to this show and fandom, which (appropriately) completes my blackout for Guardian bingo.

( Cut for length )

I tweeted yesterday (I know! What's the world coming to?) that I found my new laptop wallpaper, but then

qikiqtarjuaq came back with these additional pictures from Zhu Yilong's Harpers Bazaar China photoshoot and that first one is now my wallpaper. I am curious how much this will diminish my productivity.

Speaking of productivity, I finally, finally, finally figured out how to work the sex scene (the one I've been trying to write for A Week). Basically, if the scene isn't work for me, it's not working for my characters either so why not just incorporate that into the scene? So I had them talk (well, Zhao Yunlan is talking since Shen Wei is literally incapable of speech) about it. Literally inserted a "this isn't working for me" line. I'm feeling pretty good about it and will definitely finish it today. And then I can start Crimson Lotus! I'm SO EXCITED. What perfect timing.

And speaking of writing, someone left a lovely comment on Lollipop yesterday. It really is nice to get comments on not-new stuff. I should do that more often.

The past couple days have been nutty with

mckitterick getting ready to leave for a wedding in Houston, followed immediately by his trip to China. CHINA! I'm so...envious? wistful? idk. I told him that I was pretty sure Bai Yu would fit in his suitcase, so if he ran into him... I want to go so much (so much!) but no way am I physically capable of an international trip, now or in the foreseeable future. le sigh He is, still, actually, getting ready to leave even tho he planned to leave yesterday. Good thing the wedding's not until tomorrow. Right now he is looking for (extra) scarves.

But soon I'll have the house to myself for nearly two weeks. Oh, and speaking of having the house to myself, I wound up ordering another Diva Dophin to replace the vibrator that died. I didn't have the energy/finances to spring for something else that might or might not work for me. I'll look into some of the other suggestions at some point (maybe after I start making money again), but for now I need something that I know works for me, you know?

Ah, he just left. I'll give it a few minutes to see if he comes back for something he forgot, but...time to light the scented candles and crank some music! eta: wow, I didn't even have time to do either of those things before he came back (for...pillowcases?) but I think we're in the clear, now.

fairestcat posted:I'm So Fucking Tired of Revisionist Fandom History.

This Weilan-or-Zhubai-or-something fanart (technically SFW but maybe wait until you're alone to view it) hit me where. I. fuckin'. live. yo.

I have recovered from the file saving fuckery. Mostly. I went back to a few days before The Loss and found some revisions that were still missing. For the most part I think it's okay. I got some new stuff written yesterday, too. Eleven words short of my daily 1k goal and that was good enough. Things are kind of a slog right now, story-wise. I put off the next big sex scene because it didn't fit into the narrative at this point. Where I'm putting it will work much better, but it means I've got about a month of story time that I need to fill with something other than, you know, fucking. /o\

Dear dogs I look forward to writing a PWP again.

This morning I am driving to a neighboring small town to pick up the half side of beef I split every year with two friends. Unfortunately for me, they are both out of town so they're not around to help as usual with the dividing up. And then I gotta deposit it in their freezers. At least they both live on kinda the same side of town.

mckitterick is gonna help with the carting around, but he's tired and unsettled from a disaster trip to Chicago where not only did the beloved Crossfire die while there, he didn't accomplish what he needed to do. Like get a visa so he can go to China and secure funding for the SF Center so we don't have to worry about money so much what with my being unemployed. But no, the car died and he was stuck in a repair shop up north of the city. He's supposed to leave in three weeks, the Chinese consulate in Chi-town is the only place he can get a visa, and there's no way he can make another trip. So he's gonna have to track down someone he knows there (maybe one of his former students) to do the legwork for him. Because you can't do any of this by mail. Anyway.

Good times.

Okay I gotta get ready to go pick up dead cow parts.

ETA: Chicago is about a nine hour drive from us and he absolutely hates flying so no zippy there-and-back for him.

So, first off, everyone needs to take a look at this gorgeous Rule 63'd Weilan art.

I want to get better about reccing fic, so I'll start with one I read yesterday: Sleeping in spring, I missed the dawn. I never used to even read G-rated fic, but now I've marked that one for a re-read so I can leave it the comment it deserves. Guardian (and this fandom), I tell ya.

That Garage Mechanic AU that I remembered yesterday?

naye sent me the link to a Twitter post with video footage of the photo shoot, and...y'all, the noises I was making. Pretty sure the only thing that kept me from actually bursting into flames was the fact that it's filmed sideways and I had to hold my computer vertically so I could view it going the right direction. Copypasta'd from my reply to

naye : just started laughing at how RIDICULOUSLY FUCKING HOT he is and how the camera person just keeps ZOOMING IN on his FUCKING MOUTH and I am literally crying here oh sweet jesus

Wrapped up the initial fallout from Bad Shit Going Down in Ghost Story and am now gearing up for the climax of ANGST WEEK. *cracks knuckles* I'm getting about 1k words/day down and it feels good y'all. I'm actually enjoying this writing thing a lot. Who knew?

naye! My keychain from Vian arrived! Thank you for posting about these on the comm. So. Fucking. Cute. Oh my god just look at it.

Looks like in addition to the songs I'm (still) accumulating for Guardian, I'm collecting for a History 3: Trapped playlist now.

"HOSTAGE - Sia (Lyric Video)" (Watch on YouTube)

Today's collection is Tuesday, June 18: Bai Yu (you're welcome).

Okay, well I binged all 20 episodes of History 3: Trapped in three days (link goes to Viki, since all the fan hosting sites seem to have been purged). As I mentioned earlier, Asian men is apparently where I live these days. cough

Y'all weren't kidding when you said it was like reading a fic. I don't think I've ever seen so much exquisitely portrayed hurt/comfort in a single season of a show. You want your physical injury? We got physical injuries! Psychological trauma? Check! And then all of it reliably followed up with much coddling and gentle love? YEP. As bonus tropes, have a heavy side order of pining paired with "oh god I'm into him?" for both m/m pairings (and a nice slightly-angsty het pairing as well).

I have some questions about the last couple episodes, though...( so I'm putting this behind a cut for spoilers. )

This isn't going to take up the emotional real estate that Guardian did (is still), but it was a very nice diversion.

I will take any and all fic recs and I started a YouTube playlist of fanvids.

This has become A Problem.

This week’s Tumblr collection is Tuesday, May 28: Zhu Yilong.

When I crawled into

mckitterick 's bed this morning he said something like "hey, you don't have to go to work" and I screeched "EVER AGAIN!" which is probably going to keep being funny until the money runs out.

Today I want to get my summer clothes hung and winter stuff put away. It's the end of fuckin' May but our weather here's been so weird. Up until last week we were still having days in the low 60s. So even though I was hung over on Saturday (good times, bad habits), I forced myself to carry eight loads of wet laundry to the laundromat (my washer works, it's just the dryer that's broken) because I need to get these damn wardrobes switched out and that wasn't happening with two weeks-worth of dirty winter clothes. Still no ETA on the backordered, broken dryer part (that we don't think is the actual problem but I know the repairman isn't going to listen to me).

We're also going to an early matinee of Detective Pikachu finally. Finally! I'm excited. All I want is 90+ minutes of Ryan Reynolds' voice coming out of something cute and fluffy. My expectations are very low. Looking forward to it.

Tomorrow's Tumblr collection is a slew of Zhu Yilong photos. You're welcome! I think it's hilarious that most of the photos of Zhu Yilong (for non-Guardian people, he's the nattily-dressed professor dude) I see come across my dash are photos like this while Bai Yu (the scruffy motorcyle-riding cop dude) usually shows up on my dash looking like this. ETA: Or apparently like this? Wow. I...honestly Do Not Know What I Think of the styling here? I'm...conflicted.

I am slowly making my way through the 520 Guardian exchange gifts. Doing my best to slowly parcel them out when I really want to just hole up in my bedroom and binge them all. At least I have a high capacity for delayed gratification.

I am to the point of writing salty messages at work. Not salty at people, just about the situation. I also ceased my friendly salutations with persons in certain offices that I've worked with for ten years who haven't even whispered condolences to me about my job loss. I just don't care anymore. There's no fucking way I'd apply for a job at this university now so they can all suck my left tit. I would say I have progressed to the anger stage of grief, but let's face it, I've been angry my whole damn life. I just don't mask it here now. Not for these assholes.

This rant brought to you by "I just got a sympathetic email from someone I worked with once on a pilot project five years ago who I wouldn't have even thought remembered my name but the assholes I've worked with on a daily basis for a decade haven't said boo despite numerous other work-related emails."

Update 14:53CST The person at the office I was feeling particularly bruised about just came over in person to talk with me. She said she'd been trying for weeks to figure out how to write an email about the situation and then today she decided to just come over in person. We had a really good conversation. I admitted that I was feeling betrayed and hurt and she apologized. What a relief. That's one irritant I can take out of the mix at least. Oh, it's so nice to be pleasantly surprised.

My obsession with Certain Young Chinese Actors has reached the point where I gotta be okay with it because I don't think these pants feels are going anywhere for a while. I was hoping it was a quick little spike in my continuing love of them in the show, but no. Now I'm scrolling through Tumblr blogs for photoshoots of them and I just....fuuuuuuck. Guess this is what happens when I find a fandom obsession the same time my libido comes back online. Doesn't help that someone in an AO3 comment (on this lovely piece of fanart) informed me that they both smoke? Which is...an embarrassingly big turn-on for me? Ugh. It came on so fast! I am already at 2015-Hiddleston-levels of infatuation. Let's hope it doesn't crash and burn like that one did.

This fucking show. I'm actually considering writing fic for it? As in, I started taking notes and writing ideas? I mean I guess I'll have time on my hands for it. No promises, but the idea is definitely there (a remix of

naye 's A constellation of two from Shen Wei's POV I mean GO BIG OR GO HOME right?).

I wasn't even going to watch this stupid show but here we are I guess. *shoots looks of angry love and appreciation at

mekare *

Two mornings in a row I've been awake at 4am and unable to fall back asleep soooooo I'm not sure if party-crashing the grad student cook-out tonight is gonna happen. Maybe my afternoon nap will help.

Yesterday I skipped the lunch nap to continue going through the 镇魂 (Guardian) tag on Tumblr. Hundreds of pages later, I have a hair under 200 posts queued for the 5/20 Guardian Fandom Exchange day. I didn't feel safe signing up for an exchange but boy can I spam Tumblr! I also made a YouTube playlist which is mostly overwrought or anthemic (or both) angst (my fave!) and a couple lighter pieces so it's not too terribly grim. I'll post the link to that along with a Tumblr link on the Monday of the exchange.

I've started hearing lovely things from faculty as well as students as my exit date approaches. Yesterday was the department event for recognizing faculty promotions, retirees, graduating grad students, and...me. Since I am made deeply uncomfortable by public thanks, I skipped it. But my graduate director sent me a transcript of what she said:( clicky-click )

Detective L first episode with English subs is here!

Here's a preview with English subs:

"《绅探》悬疑版预告白宇尤靖茹抽丝剥茧破悬案 | 190403" (Watch on YouTube)

I am very excited.

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Clever Manka is dressed and undressed

Write Porn, Carry Water

🧡🚬🧡

You'd think this would be a dealbreaker

My true love

Brace yourself for that first link

Sunday Snippet, et. al.

The twist we all saw coming

Sunday Snippet

Guardian love letter

Friday Update

Friday Update

Still all Guardian all the time

Guardian merch

Playlist in the works

Tuesday collection

History 3: Trapped

Tuesday collection

Holidays are just my normal life now

Friday Update

Angst overdose

Detective L

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January 2025

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