I saw three things on Tumblr in the last 24 hours that spoke to me.

First, check out this charming short film about two women flying for the first time. I want to be Ria's BFF. What an inspiration. She's adventurous, encouraging, and leads by example to help An overcome her fears. What a wonderful person. I hope she is able to go on many more airplane rides to beautiful locations.

Also today's xkcd:


And this Daily Show gifset.





I don't like it when people act compassionately toward or give the benefit of the doubt only to people they know personally. Unlike mckitterick, I don't have much hope for the human race, but if we're going to improve (or even survive), we must stop judging other people based on anything other than individual circumstances and behaviors. I sincerely doubt that anyone has ever experienced emotional growth by jumping to conclusions. And human beings really need to work on our emotional growth.

When I first saw this video (almost four years ago), I started to examine my own empathic response (or, rather, a noted lack of empathic response).



After watching that video, I realized that I, either by nature or nurture, did not have the empathetic response of an ideal modern human being. I was, basically, emotionally stunted. And that was kind of horrible and embarrassing. Most people like to think of themselves as basically good people. And I'm not saying I was a bad person, but I wasn't as emotionally aware or as capable of compassion as I felt was necessary to deserve the love and respect of those I cared about.

I had to do a lot of work to get to a point where I could comprehend the idea of empathy. I had to talk it out more than I wanted to (thank you, mckitterick for being the world's most patient partner), I had to pretend like I cared (fake it til you make it), and I had to open myself up to emotions that made me incredibly uncomfortable. And I'm gonna be honest, I still don't have a lot of empathy. I don't know that I ever will. Whether I was born with that lack of wiring or whether it wasn't adequately developed when I was growing up, I have no idea. I just don't have it. I'm not talking some superficial New Age "I feel your pain" bullshit, I'm talking a general sense of compassion for people in different circumstances. I don't feel it. I can't internalize it. But I can recognize that empathy and compassion are crucial components to avoid winding up just as hateful and small-minded as the conservatives Jon Stewart condemns, above. Those people are actually regressing in their emotional development. Hundreds of years of neurological development and those asshats are devolving. They're so fearful of new worldviews that they would rather return to a less-developed state than accept change. That makes me angry. What a fucking waste, and also, get over yourselves.

My reaction to people like that is similar to my reaction to people who say they could never be as committed as I am to positive lifestyle change. Baloney. If I can do it, anyone can do it. I am by nature selfish, lazy, and disinterested in other people's problems. But I don't want to be that kind of person. That kind of person sucks. I want to make people suck less, and there is no way to help other people improve without improving myself. So unless I want to live my life as a hypocrite, I must continually work to better myself--physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I do not believe that the human race will thrive and reach the stars--at least not for any good reasons. But in order for me to enjoy this tiny, short, and insignificant life I must feel that I'm at least not damaging our chances to do so.

A recent study seemed to indicate that moderate levels of alcohol intake can boost the immune system. While this sounds really fantastic, it's actually not great news for those of us with already-overactive immune systems.



Late last week the dry air from the weather and forced air heating was aggravating my sinuses (nosebleeds YAY!), so I bought a new neti pot and started irrigating twice a day. Things didn't improve and I felt like I was coming down with a head cold. NOPE. Turns out I gave myself a sinus infection. Hoo-Fucking-Ray. So now I'm on antibiotics (my favorite), and my entire face feels like it's full of cement. My left molars ache, and my left ear feels like I've been on a plane for five hours and haven't popped my ears yet. Also, I'm fucking exhausted.



And of course of course this happens at a time when I absolutely cannot call in sick because I'm the only person working in the office until January 6. So I need to be here to open the English department office suites and receive/distribute mail for the entire building.



OH AND ALSO my doctor's office ran the wrong damn blood test last week so now I gotta go back in to have my female hormone panels re-done. Luckily, it's not a fasting test, so I can go tonight right after work. If only I'd known about this when I was there yesterday afternoon getting my prescription for the sinus infection.



So hey, does anyone want the saline packets from my neti pot? This is the second time I've contracted a sinus infection from irrigating my sinuses so I think I'm one of the 0.001% of people who shouldn't do it. OF COURSE.

Adding to today's awesome: my last xmas present for mckitterick arrived yesterday (well, the last one besides the one that's not going to ship until sometime this spring THANKS GUYS) and they sent me the wrong thing. I mean, part of the shipment was right, but a crucial piece? TOTALLY NOT WHAT I ORDERED.



For some reason, Medusa posts have been popping up on my dash after my snake collection published (after--OF COURSE) and this one was a particularly lovely analysis of the character/creature of Medusa. I might be having a lot of Medusa feels and maybe I should do an art piece of her. Just need to find the perfect starting piece to work with for an altered portrait.

Whoa whoa whoa HOLD THE PRESSES! I just got off the phone with customer service for Sent-The-Wrong-Thing Company and they are overnighting me the correct item and I don't even have to return the wrong one.



Okay, that's a nice note to close this out.

I saw this on FB yesterday and it pissed me off.

“The erotic has often been misnamed by men and used against women. It has been made into the confused, the trivial, the psychotic, the plasticized sensation. For this reason, we have often turned away from the exploration and consideration of the erotic as a source of power and information, confusing it with its opposite, the pornographic. But pornography is a direct denial of the power of the erotic, for it represents the suppression of true feeling. Pornography emphasizes sensation without feeling.

The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire.” ― Audre Lorde, Uses Of The Erotic: The Erotic As Power

My thoughts, in short?

Fuck off, Audre Lorde.

*whew*

In happier news, I have found the replacement for my riding boots that I gave up last year. I never could get them to fit right. My calves are short and the shaft never broke down into enough of a slouch to make them comfortable. Check out these gorgeous babies, though.


Hnnnnnngggg.

That side lacing. The o-ring ankle strap. Yes, they have an inside zip. The more I look at them, the more I love them. Pretty sure this is gonna be my xmas present request from mckitterick and my parents.

Check out this FUCKING AMAZING Supernatural vid. A few visual spoilers for Season 8, mckitterick, but nothing major. Doesn't hurt that I really like this song.



In the Hope For Humanity column falls this article about acknowledgement of a kid's good deed going viral.

The Toast put up a nice article about slashfic today. It's got a few things I'd quibble about, but overall, a good read.

You need to watch this video. I don't care who you are. YOU NEED THIS IN YOUR LIFE.



Is it too much to ask that this couple lives happily ever after FOREVER?

This is from pointoforigin and it's possibly one of the most beautiful things I've ever read:

When I first woke up this morning, the sun was shining and the sky was blue. I thought, "This day! I'm so in love with it!" as I realized it would only ever come to me once--and then send its brothers and sisters to me one by one, to be my gentle, charming, or tempestuous companions for 24 hours only and then fade away into the dawn. Or maybe, from the Day's point of view, it is eternal and comes time after time to our rendezvous, clothed in variegated robes of skies and clouds and changing lights, and finds so many and so fickle versions of me. I stay for such a short time, and then I leave, only to send another one just like me, but mysteriously, always a little older. Someday I will come no more, and the day when I fail to show up will be a sad one for the Eternal Day. Its golden-sandaled feet will whisper sadly away along the shores of evening, and the night winds will sigh, "She didn't come." The Day is eternal and will find someone new to love. But, for the time being, I am the Chosen companion of this immortal, so how can I fail to show up?

How amazing is that? I just...wow. Wow.

Someone made a trailer for a modern-day AU Hobbit.


Putting this here mostly as a link for myself, since I'm pretty sure my fellow hard-core Sherlock lovers already know about Ivy Blossom's mega tag of meta on her Tumblr.

I posted this late yesterday, so in case you missed it: New Tumblr collection: The Color Pink, Thursday, May 31. I think this is an awesome collection.

After a very short deliberation period, I decided to go ahead and put in my time at CrossFit last night. Everything but the WOD itself were things I want to work on or enjoy (and want to work on). Of course neither of the two coaches (Thomas and Kyle) that I'm used to working with were there, so I had to introduce myself to two new coaches (Andrew and Danny) who've only seen me in passing once or twice. I explained that, due to health issues, I was on Low Exertion Alert but that I wanted to do the stuff that was on the day's board. So if they saw me looking like I was slacking off, it was just me not pushing as hard as usual and if they needed to correct my form that was cool, but I wasn't going for any personal records or anything that day. They were both super cool about it, and did occasionally stop by to see how I was doing and to say helpful things like "Left knee, Lydia. Left knee," as I was doing my Front Squats.

I think that is going to become my sobriquet for CrossFit. At least in my own head. Left Knee Lydia. I got commended on my Hollow-Rock-to-Superman transitions, too, which always feels good. BRAG ALERT: I do them better than anyone in the linked video.

I was feeling weak and wobbly (not in the good way) by the time everyone else was ready to start the WOD, so I took off. I'm happy I went, though. I was pleased with myself and my body felt good, too (after showering, anyway).

Yay, CrossFit! Yay, me!

If you're looking for where to purchase a Father's Day Present, might I suggest shopping at J.C. Penny's?

Now there's a fantastic internal Harry Potter reference that I never would have noticed. Anyone know if that was intentional?

For a while now, well, since the first Iron Man came out, mckitterick's had a goal of approximating RDJ's physique in those movies. For those of you who've been lucky enough to see my guy in a wifebeater lately, I'm just gonna put this here for reference.

It depresses/worries/angers me that I am a member of another minority in that I want my elected leaders to be smarter than I am. An L.A. Times article reports: "The level of discourse in the House and Senate has dropped a full grade level -- to the equivalent of a sophomore in high school, according to a new study."



I think ninety percent of those guys in congress are in the wrong room, but for reasons other than relative intelligence. Or, erm. Not. Hm.

A bunch of people are asking for photographs of Sherlock and John, and later this year, when the weather is more appropriate to the mood and to the garments, I plan to take them to the Lawrence cemetery for an actual photoshoot. In the meantime, though, the Mid-America Fan Archive has some pics. Pic One and Pic Two. Photos taken from this stage always stink because nobody looks good shot from below, and there is absolutely no mood lighting or anything to set a scene. Ah, well. You can at least see the shapes of the coats. Here is a picture of coat-less Sherlock at jimmy_hollaman's RoomCon, dancing with the woman who organizes the Masquerade. This, however, is my favorite photo from RoomCon, despite the blurriness.

Final note: after a couple weeks of dicking around with it, I've decided I absolutely despise Paint.Net and I need a different photo editor. I can't even stand to use it to edit pics for something as simple as cropping. Fuck a bunch of this shitty little piece of software. I want my old Photoshop back god damn it.

I've got about two hours before I leave to pick up msmitti and head to Topeka for the Unite Against the War on Women rally. I keep finding out about more people who are going to this and it makes me feel inspired and encouraged. As I was on my way out the door of the office last night, I was chatting with another grad student, and it turns out that he and another grad student are driving in together, too! That makes nearly ten English grad students I know are going--and I think I know about another eight or ten non-KU affiliated people planning to go. Exciting!

CrossFit last night was mix of Gratifying and Frustrating.

Gratifying: I got into the first stage of a headstand--which is resting your knees on your bent elbows and pulling your feet together. I held it for two seconds! A Personal Record! =D I tried to find an image of this pose, but it seems like 99% of the people posting pictures don't know the difference between a headstand and a handstand and most of the images were of handstands. Ah well. I got it and held it. Last time I tried, I couldn't even get my feet off the ground, so getting my feet off the ground, touching together, and holding it for two seconds is pretty huge.

Frustrating: When I tried doing a headstand a second time, my right shoulder popped out of joint and I came down hard on the soft tissue between the joint and my scapula. It hurt bad enough that I was giggling (pain often provokes a laughter response--I get it from my mother) and rolling around on the mat, holding my shoulder. Pride goeth before a fall--literally, in this case. Luckily, the joint popped right back in, but it was weak and sore for the rest of the hour.

Gratifying: I fucking rock the house on Hollow Rocks/Supermans. NGL, I am a million times better at it than the guy demonstrating in the video. I am aces at this combo.


Frustrating: For the first time in a WOD, my muscles gave out before I got winded. I don't know if it was my body reacting to the stress of the shoulder issue or what, but we were supposed to do five sets of 10 burpees followed by 15 sit-ups. I was already feeling fatigue on the first round of burpees, which...was ridiculous. By the second, I was feeling it bad, and by the third round I had reached complete failure. My arm muscles just would not support me coming up from the push-up. It took me more than twenty minutes to do four rounds. If I'd tried to go for five, I think I might still be there.

I iced the shoulder as soon as we got home, and had some wine. It's pretty stiff this morning, and there's a big difference between that and the familiar DOMS I feel in the left shoulder. Thank goodness I opted not to make a sign to carry today, and thank goodness I've got two days of rest before we go back on Monday.

Last night's CrossFit was the first time I've come home from a session feeling something other than giddy and energized. I know it's not going to be a 100% fantastic experience every single time, and there are some WODs I'm gonna like more than others, and having this, my eighth session, be the first one to disappoint--that's pretty amazing. But I couldn't help feeling a little meh about it and, to be honest, about myself. sigh

I am the fucking queen of Hollow Roll-to-Supermans, though. I need to remember that. We aren't all awesome at the same things.

The Watson coat mock-up is coming along. If I get home at a reasonable hour today, I should be able to complete construction. I'm not sure if I'll finish it (hems, buttons). Guess that'll be up to msmitti, if she wants it for use as a garment. Being a mock-up, it's pretty ugly on the inside.

The gray contact lens trial was a complete failure, btw. I put in one of the sample lenses and from more than two feet away you couldn't tell I had it in. I don't have super-dark eyes (I don't think), but I guess they're dark enough and the fact that they're such a mottled color--they don't really work with colored lenses. They just go sort of muddy. I had this same problem years ago when I tried to get colored lenses, and I'd hoped the technology had improved since then. Apparently not!

So that's one little expense I can take off the (bankrupt) budget. Good thing, because JFC my credit card statement this month. o_O WHAT WHAT WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY MONEY. Oh, that's right. Two hundred dollars in spices and balsamic vinegars, nearly one hundred thirty in henna/indigo supplies, and a little over one hundred in wine. Those things will last six months and wouldn't be so bad except they came during a month when I also bought the stuff for the costume, paid a hefty repair bill for my serger, and sent in a payment to my worthless physical therapist. It's all do-able, and I'll be able to pay it off this month in full, but it means a tight month for May.

I gotta give Star Struck Clothing a ring to see if any bloomers sold.

Fuck wearing purple. When I am an old woman, I want to be as badass as this gal. I saw this on ontd_political and on auroraceleste's LJ, so the story is making the rounds. I'm glad.

Please, though, whatever you do, don't follow the cookie crumbs to the original source. Well, unless you want your opinion of humanity to resume its usual lower-than-low standard. The NYDaily News site has the story, yes, but the photo they use is of the husband with his wounds in the foreground, and the hero wife all tiny and out of focus in the background. Fuck You, story and photo editor dickwads. Just fuck you.

I received a fantastic compliment yesterday. One of the grad students (who hasn't been in the offices for a while), stopped by my office and commented on how long my hair has grown. She asked how I got the waves in it, if that was a perm or if I styled it every morning. "Oh, that's just how it grows," I answered. "I'm lucky." I didn't tell her that I hadn't done more than finger comb it that morning and I'm pretty sure I haven't washed it since Saturday. "Girl," she said, "that is amazing. You've got some Kardashian hair going on."

So while I'm still dealing with a lot of physical health bullshit, I take no small comfort in the fact that my hair looks killer. Thank you, nottygypsy!

Instead of dancing around the living room last night, I did some serious punching time since mckitterick left the bag up for me. I think it might've been the longest punching session I've had. By the end, I couldn't even raise my arms above my head. It was good.

Moar Nostalgia for you, but this time with humor.

You Guys. Lookit what I found on one of the Tumblrs I follow.

I'm sure most everyone remembers (regretfully) the train wreck that was Sucker Punch, right? Even if you didn't see it (I did not see it), you probably heard about it. If you didn't, you're a very fortunate person and you should probably skip the rest of this entry here. Save yourself!

Even early on, before it was released, I could tell this thing was a turd. That's me, being a hater, right there.

I can't remember if I linked to this fantastic LJ post about the movie before, but it's entitled "Sucker Punch: A Very Serious Essay on Feminism" and you really should check it out. It came out after the movie, so at least the author wasn't guilty of judging too early. You know, like me.

This morning, Kate Beaton came out with her own take on the subject matter. I'm not certain how much Sucker Punch influenced this particular comic, but everything that influenced Sucker Punch is influencing this, so there's a whole bunch of massive influence going on that you really need to check out.