clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2014-04-18 10:18 am
clevermanka) wrote2014-04-18 10:18 am
Entry tags:
Blah blah blah empathy and shit
I saw three things on Tumblr in the last 24 hours that spoke to me.
First, check out this charming short film about two women flying for the first time. I want to be Ria's BFF. What an inspiration. She's adventurous, encouraging, and leads by example to help An overcome her fears. What a wonderful person. I hope she is able to go on many more airplane rides to beautiful locations.
Also today's xkcd:
And this Daily Show gifset.
I don't like it when people act compassionately toward or give the benefit of the doubt only to people they know personally. Unlike![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mckitterick, I don't have much hope for the human race, but if we're going to improve (or even survive), we must stop judging other people based on anything other than individual circumstances and behaviors. I sincerely doubt that anyone has ever experienced emotional growth by jumping to conclusions. And human beings really need to work on our emotional growth.
When I first saw this video (almost four years ago), I started to examine my own empathic response (or, rather, a noted lack of empathic response).
After watching that video, I realized that I, either by nature or nurture, did not have the empathetic response of an ideal modern human being. I was, basically, emotionally stunted. And that was kind of horrible and embarrassing. Most people like to think of themselves as basically good people. And I'm not saying I was a bad person, but I wasn't as emotionally aware or as capable of compassion as I felt was necessary to deserve the love and respect of those I cared about.
I had to do a lot of work to get to a point where I could comprehend the idea of empathy. I had to talk it out more than I wanted to (thank you,mckitterick for being the world's most patient partner), I had to pretend like I cared (fake it til you make it), and I had to open myself up to emotions that made me incredibly uncomfortable. And I'm gonna be honest, I still don't have a lot of empathy. I don't know that I ever will. Whether I was born with that lack of wiring or whether it wasn't adequately developed when I was growing up, I have no idea. I just don't have it. I'm not talking some superficial New Age "I feel your pain" bullshit, I'm talking a general sense of compassion for people in different circumstances. I don't feel it. I can't internalize it. But I can recognize that empathy and compassion are crucial components to avoid winding up just as hateful and small-minded as the conservatives Jon Stewart condemns, above. Those people are actually regressing in their emotional development. Hundreds of years of neurological development and those asshats are devolving. They're so fearful of new worldviews that they would rather return to a less-developed state than accept change. That makes me angry. What a fucking waste, and also, get over yourselves.
My reaction to people like that is similar to my reaction to people who say they could never be as committed as I am to positive lifestyle change. Baloney. If I can do it, anyone can do it. I am by nature selfish, lazy, and disinterested in other people's problems. But I don't want to be that kind of person. That kind of person sucks. I want to make people suck less, and there is no way to help other people improve without improving myself. So unless I want to live my life as a hypocrite, I must continually work to better myself--physically, mentally, and emotionally.
I do not believe that the human race will thrive and reach the stars--at least not for any good reasons. But in order for me to enjoy this tiny, short, and insignificant life I must feel that I'm at least not damaging our chances to do so.
First, check out this charming short film about two women flying for the first time. I want to be Ria's BFF. What an inspiration. She's adventurous, encouraging, and leads by example to help An overcome her fears. What a wonderful person. I hope she is able to go on many more airplane rides to beautiful locations.
Also today's xkcd:
And this Daily Show gifset.
I don't like it when people act compassionately toward or give the benefit of the doubt only to people they know personally. Unlike
mckitterick, I don't have much hope for the human race, but if we're going to improve (or even survive), we must stop judging other people based on anything other than individual circumstances and behaviors. I sincerely doubt that anyone has ever experienced emotional growth by jumping to conclusions. And human beings really need to work on our emotional growth. When I first saw this video (almost four years ago), I started to examine my own empathic response (or, rather, a noted lack of empathic response).
After watching that video, I realized that I, either by nature or nurture, did not have the empathetic response of an ideal modern human being. I was, basically, emotionally stunted. And that was kind of horrible and embarrassing. Most people like to think of themselves as basically good people. And I'm not saying I was a bad person, but I wasn't as emotionally aware or as capable of compassion as I felt was necessary to deserve the love and respect of those I cared about.
I had to do a lot of work to get to a point where I could comprehend the idea of empathy. I had to talk it out more than I wanted to (thank you,
mckitterick for being the world's most patient partner), I had to pretend like I cared (fake it til you make it), and I had to open myself up to emotions that made me incredibly uncomfortable. And I'm gonna be honest, I still don't have a lot of empathy. I don't know that I ever will. Whether I was born with that lack of wiring or whether it wasn't adequately developed when I was growing up, I have no idea. I just don't have it. I'm not talking some superficial New Age "I feel your pain" bullshit, I'm talking a general sense of compassion for people in different circumstances. I don't feel it. I can't internalize it. But I can recognize that empathy and compassion are crucial components to avoid winding up just as hateful and small-minded as the conservatives Jon Stewart condemns, above. Those people are actually regressing in their emotional development. Hundreds of years of neurological development and those asshats are devolving. They're so fearful of new worldviews that they would rather return to a less-developed state than accept change. That makes me angry. What a fucking waste, and also, get over yourselves. My reaction to people like that is similar to my reaction to people who say they could never be as committed as I am to positive lifestyle change. Baloney. If I can do it, anyone can do it. I am by nature selfish, lazy, and disinterested in other people's problems. But I don't want to be that kind of person. That kind of person sucks. I want to make people suck less, and there is no way to help other people improve without improving myself. So unless I want to live my life as a hypocrite, I must continually work to better myself--physically, mentally, and emotionally.
I do not believe that the human race will thrive and reach the stars--at least not for any good reasons. But in order for me to enjoy this tiny, short, and insignificant life I must feel that I'm at least not damaging our chances to do so.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
I keep trying to get out on Thursdays, but I have way overcommitted myself to a thousand thousand things this semester. SOON (tm).
no subject
no subject
no subject
It should be included in junior high school textbooks on government.
And again in high school, because the kids will have forgotten.
no subject
no subject
Japan is even worse about teaching for the test, though. :-/
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
I can go between feeling utter disdain for all of humanity and then a few minutes later be amazed at peoples' capacity for goodness and I wonder how I can do that emotionally. Also, I honestly think I have a bit of a superiority complex (while still knowing I'm not all that). It makes me want to hide in my house and not talk to anyone but my friends.
no subject
no subject
Maybe this means we are all doomed, but I do not see the world even half as simplistically as the filmmaker. Eventually, a baby does NOT cry, and walks off with the other one's cookie.
no subject
no subject
http://becompassion.blogspot.com/2009/04/tom-hiddleston-there-is-iago-and-romeo.html
"'Within all of us there is the capacity to be anyone or anything... There is an Iago and a Romeo within all of us, there is that lover, and there is that sociopath.'"
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
;)
no subject
no subject
This is full of wonderful.
You are a good person, perhaps one of the very best I've ever met, because despite everything about your nature and experience with others, you still want to do no harm - and actively strive to do good.
I'm proud to be your partner.
Re: This is full of wonderful.
Re: This is full of wonderful.
Re: This is full of wonderful.
Your inherent desire to better yourself is one of the reasons I DO have hope for humanity.
Re: This is full of wonderful.
Re: This is full of wonderful.
no subject
no subject