Funny how having your decision made for you reveals your true desires

[clevermanka]

This is me, enjoying my second year of not gearing up for KCRF. Feels good, y'all.

What doesn't feel all that great is the sneaking suspicion that my ongoing headache might be caused by that tooth that needs fixing. Even though the tooth doesn't feel sore at all, the pressure/pain is definitely on that side of my face and most of what I thought was sinus pressure is located right around that area. Soooooo I decided not to wait for a combo filling/impression for bite guard appointment (I have to wait a month for insurance to come through on the bite guard business) and made an appointment to fix the tooth on Thursday of next week. Yay. That's henna day, too, so my henna partners will have a lovely time avoiding my drool and the random henna spill.

I am thinking really hard about taking a vacation day tomorrow for a four-day weekend. My reasons for not just going ahead and doing it are weird and complicated and I'm honestly not sure I understand what's going on in my head, so if someone wants to chime in with thoughts, they're welcome. Basically, I feel like I'll be seen as slacking because I already took off so much time in July. This happened before, where I took off a lot of time in single-day increments and was reprimanded for it and it was complete BS (I mean, it's my vacation time to use as I see fit, right?) but it still bothers me. The other reason is utterly ridiculous. Basically I'm below 175 hours of vacation (172 to be exact) and for some reason that makes me...miserly of my vacation time. One hundred and seventy two hours, though. Come on, Manka. Jesus.

I would like to get some sewing done this weekend, but my dance card for the weekend is filling up in unexpected ways. Not all bad, just unexpected.

I dunno. I dunno. Blah. But at least I'm not sewing last-minute costume stuff for Renaissance Festival. That is a good thing.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha WELL the grad director just stopped in my office on her way out the door and there's something we need to work on together and since she can't stay to do it today she wants to do it tomorrow so I guess that's that decided.

Comments

[stuology.livejournal.com]

since she can't stay to do it today she wants to do it tomorrow so I guess that's that decided.

Blah.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

Oh no, your poor tooth! Actually, your poor face :( I know how bad that pain sucks!

If it helps you at all, I have 235.9 hours of vacation sitting out there. And 539.5 hours of sick time.

Fucking hell.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD. Honey, why don't you take some time?

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

Honestly, it's a combination of things but mostly I feel guilty if I take time off. Stupid, I know.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

GIRL TAKE SOME TIME OFF. SERIOUSLY. I say this as a vacation-hoarder, and overly-fraught work ethic myself. At least a long weekend!

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

I think I'm going to. Maybe a Friday and a Monday to bookend my next weekend off.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

Holy moley, that gif! *swoons*

[gentlespirit.livejournal.com]

I feel the same way! I mean, I don't choose my vacation time (teacher) but if I take a sick day and I haven't actually lost consciousness I feel like I ought to have just gone in and dealt with it. I'm getting better about it. Slowly.

[kazoogrrl.livejournal.com]

I quit one of my troupes earlier this year, and though I miss it it was the right thing to do.

I hope you feel better with tooth repair. I've had sinus headaches all day.

Oh, we got the Bluray of Mad Max and I was thinking about you while watching the extras. The costume, car, and prop details are amazing, and the stunt drivers deserve all the awards!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

we got the Bluray of Mad Max and I was thinking about you while watching the extras

This makes me so pleased and proud you honestly have no idea.

[kazoogrrl.livejournal.com]

Especially the cars!!

Wow, I have a sudden urge for bacon and scotch.

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

bacon and scotch...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Maybe I'll break out one of my limited packages of bacon for the holiday weekend.

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

I'd like a four day weekend, but I have two appointments on Friday and with the broken wrist, it's not like I can do any of the projects I would do. Long weekends are the best.

Are you still considering leaving your job? Might be interesting to go ahead and consider your hesitations about a long weekend in case it comes up again.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Nah, I've put that on a shelf. My experiment at Making Myself Happy Here worked even better than I thought it might and while I'm not thrilled to come to work every day, it's....okay.

I had to be honest with myself and the fact that I do not want to go back to school. Like, at all. Also, I'm not comfortable putting myself in a position of decreased income and vacation time (even though I'm not using as much of the latter as I might).

Gonna' hit **preacher mode** for a few...

[thetimesink.livejournal.com]

As you stand at the edge of the Map-o-WorkDays and see that note in the margin declaring, Here there be dragons, please realize that note was placed there by those in fear.

The other side is fine. Really. It may involve busting ass in the yard or just sleeping with a cat on your chest (or both), but until you sail off that edge TheMan has you.

Remember that Venn diagram with "work" and "self" and how they are supposed to be balanced. Yeah, that too.

Just sayin'...

</Preacher Mode>
...and leaving in a few for a four day weekend (on call, of course!).

Re: Gonna' hit **preacher mode** for a few...

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

This is brilliant! I'm going to remember this, for sure, in the future. Alas, my decision was made for me although I did take the morning off for some emergency dental work since my tooth that needs repaired decided to make it very very plain this afternoon that it has been the cause of my headaches lately.

Re: Gonna' hit **preacher mode** for a few...

[thetimesink.livejournal.com]

...then we'll call that a win!

Toofies *require* fixedness!

Re: Gonna' hit **preacher mode** for a few...

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

definitely brilliant!

the tooth thing sucks, but good to know that was the culprit. And not some other ghostly, had to ID problem.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

I cry with envy at your vacation/sick time, so STFU and take it when you need it. It won't be worth squat when you're gone.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

GOOD POINT.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

Yay! You know you can count on me for that perspective. I'm relatively happy with my work right now when they allow "ATO" (actually unpaid Authorized Time Off one can take at will when it's offered).

[write-out.livejournal.com]

I used to be so miserly about taking time off too, until this job. I can earn up to 160 PTO hours a year- which is both vacation and sick time. I LOATHE PTO. I wish I had separate vacation and sick time! And we are not allowed to roll much over either; we can cash out unused PTO in the fall, but I said FUCK THAT NOISE and I use every damn minute of it I earn and then some.

My week and one day off recently caused some issues at work that I'm dealing with now, but dammit, I worked for that time off and I no longer feel (overly) guilty about using it. I think if I could accrue massive amounts of time and then bank it, I would probably feel differently. As it stands now, I would rather take the time off than cash it out.

My workplace is pretty adamant about people taking time off too, so that's another bonus. We have mandatory PTO we're supposed to use every year- for us peons, it's three days in a row. For senior management, it's two weeks. They even shut off your access to your email at that time.

All that to say I am sorry you don't get to have a four-day weekend and I get why you were hesitant to ask for it off in the first place. I can't believe you were reprimanded for using your earned time. What utter bullshit. Is there any way you can leave early tomorrow once you've finished what you need to?

Also, I bet your tooth is the culprit too. I'm glad you are getting it taken care of soon.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing your perspective. That is very informative about my own problematic attitude to taking time off. I mean, part of my issue is also the surprise factor, I just realized. I don't want to seem flighty. Like, that would really really bother me.

I've already told the other secretary after I've taken care of that one thing in the afternoon.

[write-out.livejournal.com]

Working in an environment that is supportive and encouraging of time off is a huge factor in my being adamant about using all of my PTO. We're a small department and one person's absence can throw a wrench in the works, but as far as I know, no one has been reprimanded or discouraged or made to feel like crap (or flighty, even) for taking time off. So now I'm used to it and if I move on to a place that isn't as supportive, that will take some getting used to. To me, if someone has earned time off, they should be able to use it as they see fit. If you are getting your shit done, then there should be no complaints. I know, that's in a perfect world, but still. I can't get over you being reprimanded. So the fear of being seen as flighty is totally understandable.

[manintheboat.livejournal.com]

I took tomorrow off!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Good for you! I hope you have a great time!

[pointoforigin.livejournal.com]

That's fairly brilliant, coming up with the possibility that the tooth might be causing your headaches. The Sparrowhawk had a nagging tooth that turned out to have a cyst underneath it. He regularly got headaches that he thought were sinus, and they sort of were, because the cyst was poking up into his sinus. After they removed the cyst and built him a tooth implant to replace the bad one, the headaches went away. I don't know if that's your problem, but it's worth checking out.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

We'll see if it goes away after I get it fixed today!