Funny how having your decision made for you reveals your true desires

[clevermanka]

This is me, enjoying my second year of not gearing up for KCRF. Feels good, y'all.

What doesn't feel all that great is the sneaking suspicion that my ongoing headache might be caused by that tooth that needs fixing. Even though the tooth doesn't feel sore at all, the pressure/pain is definitely on that side of my face and most of what I thought was sinus pressure is located right around that area. Soooooo I decided not to wait for a combo filling/impression for bite guard appointment (I have to wait a month for insurance to come through on the bite guard business) and made an appointment to fix the tooth on Thursday of next week. Yay. That's henna day, too, so my henna partners will have a lovely time avoiding my drool and the random henna spill.

I am thinking really hard about taking a vacation day tomorrow for a four-day weekend. My reasons for not just going ahead and doing it are weird and complicated and I'm honestly not sure I understand what's going on in my head, so if someone wants to chime in with thoughts, they're welcome. Basically, I feel like I'll be seen as slacking because I already took off so much time in July. This happened before, where I took off a lot of time in single-day increments and was reprimanded for it and it was complete BS (I mean, it's my vacation time to use as I see fit, right?) but it still bothers me. The other reason is utterly ridiculous. Basically I'm below 175 hours of vacation (172 to be exact) and for some reason that makes me...miserly of my vacation time. One hundred and seventy two hours, though. Come on, Manka. Jesus.

I would like to get some sewing done this weekend, but my dance card for the weekend is filling up in unexpected ways. Not all bad, just unexpected.

I dunno. I dunno. Blah. But at least I'm not sewing last-minute costume stuff for Renaissance Festival. That is a good thing.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha WELL the grad director just stopped in my office on her way out the door and there's something we need to work on together and since she can't stay to do it today she wants to do it tomorrow so I guess that's that decided.

Comments

[write-out.livejournal.com]

I used to be so miserly about taking time off too, until this job. I can earn up to 160 PTO hours a year- which is both vacation and sick time. I LOATHE PTO. I wish I had separate vacation and sick time! And we are not allowed to roll much over either; we can cash out unused PTO in the fall, but I said FUCK THAT NOISE and I use every damn minute of it I earn and then some.

My week and one day off recently caused some issues at work that I'm dealing with now, but dammit, I worked for that time off and I no longer feel (overly) guilty about using it. I think if I could accrue massive amounts of time and then bank it, I would probably feel differently. As it stands now, I would rather take the time off than cash it out.

My workplace is pretty adamant about people taking time off too, so that's another bonus. We have mandatory PTO we're supposed to use every year- for us peons, it's three days in a row. For senior management, it's two weeks. They even shut off your access to your email at that time.

All that to say I am sorry you don't get to have a four-day weekend and I get why you were hesitant to ask for it off in the first place. I can't believe you were reprimanded for using your earned time. What utter bullshit. Is there any way you can leave early tomorrow once you've finished what you need to?

Also, I bet your tooth is the culprit too. I'm glad you are getting it taken care of soon.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing your perspective. That is very informative about my own problematic attitude to taking time off. I mean, part of my issue is also the surprise factor, I just realized. I don't want to seem flighty. Like, that would really really bother me.

I've already told the other secretary after I've taken care of that one thing in the afternoon.

[write-out.livejournal.com]

Working in an environment that is supportive and encouraging of time off is a huge factor in my being adamant about using all of my PTO. We're a small department and one person's absence can throw a wrench in the works, but as far as I know, no one has been reprimanded or discouraged or made to feel like crap (or flighty, even) for taking time off. So now I'm used to it and if I move on to a place that isn't as supportive, that will take some getting used to. To me, if someone has earned time off, they should be able to use it as they see fit. If you are getting your shit done, then there should be no complaints. I know, that's in a perfect world, but still. I can't get over you being reprimanded. So the fear of being seen as flighty is totally understandable.